Reasons why we pay for sex

[Olddaddy]

On some occasions,Bangkok ,Manila etc I didn't pay for sex with moneyboys 

Were those people I met either on the apps (Grindr) or Saunas exactly my type , probably not ,but my "type" changes continually 

One day I may want an older Asian guy ,to a African guy ,to a young twink 

So I have been thinking why I pay,💲 and not just surf the apps to meet someone for free ,which I may say in places like Pattaya is very difficult unless your into older guys , although I did meet a young Filipino🇵🇭 guy off Grindr for free 

I guess it comes down to various reasons 

I prefer obviously not to pay for sex 

Obviously if your type is twinks 👦you will be paying💲💲

Going back to reasons why?

Because I may want something/service/ fetish that I can't really get from a free hookup.

Eg Rim my ass 👅

 

[floridarob]

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

,but my "type" changes continually 

We've noticed 😝

[vinapu]

I see five  reasons :

1/ I have money to pay

2/ by paying one is not entangled in the web of favours, dinners, shopping trips and such, deal s done , money paid , see you next time or not

3/ combing through apps offerings is waste of precious vacation time and puts me to sleep (alone) 

4/ worlds wealth  spreads more evenly with more money going to the iPhone starved needy

5/ I get tickled by heckling "that much for just 3 hours !!!, it's spoiling market for others ( for those suspicious , no I don't inflate prices paid I'm reporting just to have that tickle )

[Olddaddy]

5 hours ago, vinapu said:

I get tickled by heckling "that much for just 3 hours !!!, it's spoiling market for others ( for those

I did hear someone gossiping about you &  that...oh I better not say 🫣

[sydneyboy1]

We are at an age when we can’t get it any other way not for any other esoteric reason.

[vaughn]

I have thought about this a lot recently.

I've been a P4P guy since my early-mid 20s (now mid-late 30s) and it's never really been about not being able to get it for free, paying just provides more opportunities with less time wasted, rather than just being another horny guy on the apps begging for a taste.

I travel specifically for the purpose of exploring P4P and cruising spaces, I find it more honest to just offer an exchange rather than going on dates that I have no intention of following up on just for sex when i'm in other countries. 

I do sometimes date outside of the P4P scene, but recently i've been thinking that if i'm going to get in to a long-term relationship they might need to share the same hobby as me. 

[jason1975]

It's also about paying to have sex with that particular guy whom we lust for because of his looks, body, dick, personality etc.

In some host bars, there is bidding involved where only the highest bidder secures the guys.

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

I did hear someone gossiping about you &  that...oh I better not say 🫣

whatever you were told , it's true

[a-447]

In my youth I was surrounded by more cock than I could handle. Literally.

Free sex was immediately available, 24/7.

Suddenly, in my mid -thirties, I found I was invisible. In a country where the emphasis is on youth, I was considered too old and no longer desirable. It was a huge blow to my ego. My life, which revolved around sex, had changed.

I still got groped on the train every day, but places like bars and gay cinemas became harder to attract the attention of the guys I was interested in. I started being approached by guys quite a it older than me, and it was a weird experience. The young guys who normally would have been chasing after me were now looking for younger partners.

I belonged to a couple of sex clubs, so getting laid wasn't a problem, but even there I noticed a bit of a change in attitude. In the beginning, I was the first guy they'd approach, whereas now I was second or third in line.

I have no problem paying for sex. I love the concept of having sex with someone I really want to be in bed with. I have certain criteria which must be met - handsome, friendly, Asian, nice bloody, big cock - and these criteria can't always be met by guys you randomly hook up with. 

[Daniu]

I'm in my mid-thirties and still have a fair amount of hook-ups but I like paying for it because:

Transparency: I want their body, they want my cash, and when it goes right, we both win. Simple as that.

Convenience: Being able to book sex exactly when and where I want just wipes out the headache of trying to hook up with someone off an app.

The Experience: I like the gogo bars and appreciate being able to see every inch of them live and in person. There's no concern about fake or old pics. I was just telling a buddy back home, 'This is the kind of thing we've always wanted.' Being in a bar with a stage full of cute boys who'll (mostly) all go home with you for a bit of cash is like heaven.

[TMax]

For me it's less hassles, I do like short hassle free encounters, I don't chase it in my home town as there's not that many guys that take my fancy plus being deep in the closet doesn't help a lot either (that's a whole different story). I can wait for a holiday to Thailand or elsewhere and there I like it short and sweet via the massage shops, plus the extended break helps build up the excitement and expectations. Maybe next trip I might try a bar (not really my scene and mamasans annoy me no end) and take a boy back to the hotel for some overnight fun and experimentation, I do like trying new things from time to time. Not too fussed with using the apps either, I do prefer the first contact to be face to face and go from there. 

Quote

Transparency: I want their body, they want my cash, and when it goes right, we both win.

Yes I agree with that and it's much like how I've done things so far 

[roughjock]

1. Less hassle. I can spend an hour on Grindr and line up a few potentials and have all of them fall through or be using outdated photos. I can go to a sauna and have mediocre fun with several guys who aren’t exactly my type, and that feeds into a dangerous disposable mentality for me. 
 

2. They are providing a service, so you can feel more comfortable asking for what you want. This can all be talked about prior to the encounter so that everyone is on the same page.

 

3. A dinner out or a night of drinks back home is more expensive.

[Vessey]

I am now over 70 and overweight. The only people who might possibly want to have 'free' sex with me look like me and I am just not interested in that.

So if I want a cute 20 year old who is willing, perhaps even keen, to have sex with me (top or bottom) these days, I am going to have to pay them. And that is a price I am happy to pay, even if it is only for a few weeks a year when I am back in the warmth of Thailand where the opportunities can seem limitless ! 

Paying for sex usually means that each gets what they want out of the encounter! 😅

[floridarob]

18 hours ago, vaughn said:

I've been a P4P guy since my early-mid 20s (now mid-late 30s) and it's never really been about not being able to get it for free

Same for me, Charlie Sheen used to say (he wasn't the first) I don't pay for sex, I pay them to leave afterwards..... is my sentiment. I don't do long time offs either, I like to sleep alone.

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, floridarob said:

Same for me, 

not "(now mid-late 30s)" part I gather

[Min]

On 4/26/2025 at 11:31 PM, floridarob said:

We've noticed 😝

I have a feeling his type changed again the day he met you.

[floridarob]

5 hours ago, vinapu said:

not "(now mid-late 30s)" part I gather

"I've been a P4P guy since my early-mid 20s for me"

(I first paid a street hustler when I was 18)

[PeterRS]

On 4/26/2025 at 10:10 PM, Olddaddy said:

I prefer obviously not to pay for sex 

In my younger years, I loved the smorgasbord of gay sex that was available in many Asian countries. And I was happy to pay what for me were extremely modest fee requests. After I moved to Thailand more than 2 decades ago, I was again happy to pay for sex here. Strangely, though, free gay sex had become much easier in countries like Taiwan, Japan, China and even Singapore. I could never figure out why guys there were merely happy to find an older westerner and together enjoy a great time without any financial transaction. Only very occasionally would the cost of transport or a meal even be requested - and sometimes when offered it was declined.

I stilll find this extremely common in Taiwan and to a slightly lesser extent in Japan. My last trip to Singapore was about 7 years ago - same with a young student who happened to be walking outside my hotel when I was on an app. Being partnered in Thailand for some years, I have given up my playing around. But I am allowed off the leash (as it were!) when I travel and remain constantly amazed by what is available free despite my advancing years. I find that usually guys seeking free sex are more fun to be with (as opposed to guys I want to chase after) - but each to his own.

[zombie]

"the most expensive sex is 'free sex' "

[unixmad]

51 minutes ago, zombie said:

"the most expensive sex is 'free sex' "

Nothing is truly free. someone is always paying whether it's in therapy bills, child support, etc

[Tawan Forever]

Being 57 with a bodybuilder physique I get plenty of attention from all shapes, sizes, and ages, but particularly young twinks (unfortunately not my type at all) wanting a built daddy!

My apps chime away 24/7 when I go to a new region. I do not need to pay for sex at all, it's on tap... if I wanted it!

BUT, I have certain criteria about the types of guys I WANT to be swapping sweat with.... These types are similar build to me and few and far between.

So when in Thailand I head straight to Tawan, ex The One  (yet to get to Atlas) to get my hands on the biggest most muscled bodybuilder type I can find.

I am very happy to pay to spend my time with this type of body, which is not readily available in everyday life. 

These guys seem to really enjoy sharing time with someone similar and fuss over me terribly, I always take posing trunks that may not be my size, style or colour and during our fun give them as a gift,  which they really appreciate.. (I've actually seen some wearing them in competition pics, huge thrill for me)

In short I pay to have sex with the type of body I like, that is not readily available, and I feel good that I have helped finance their bodybuilding journey...It's not cheap!

[vinapu]

33 minutes ago, Tawan Forever said:

 

In short I pay to have sex with the type...I like, that is not readily available, 

that summarises neatly everybody's reason for paying for sex 

[floridarob]

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

that summarises neatly everybody's reason for paying for sex 

I pay to get them to do what I want and not to do what I don't want.

Once I cum, I'm normally finished.....when it's a free hookup, you feel obligated to help get the other guy off and I've been on the other side of that coin with free, they finish and say they are done , leaving me hanging, karma.

I also don't like to suck dick much anymore or kiss (never did, too gay) and when a MB says suck my dick, I laugh and say 'Hey, you're the one being paid, suck mine"

SO paying, allows me to set the rules, so to speak and set the scene..... I'm always upfront with what my likes/dislikes are and what I'm expecting before closing the deal.... also making it clear that if they can't perform (stay hard) or cum, not to expect the money we've agreed on, so there's no surprises for them..... a couple took it as a challenge and really performed. One guy when going with me, said he will give me 1 hour...I said one hour? We finished in 30 minutes, so I reminded him he said one hour as he was getting dressed, his eyes widened realizing he shouldn't have said anything, that sword cuts both ways.... I had him give me a massage for the remaining 30 minutes 😉