15 Unwritten Rules for Traveling in Thailand

[reader]

From Conde Nast Traveler

The author of this article, Pier Nirandara, began her career as Thailand’s youngest author of three bestselling novels. She is now a travel writer, film producer, and underwater photographer based between Bangkok, Los Angeles, and Cape Town.

By Pier Nirandara

April 6, 2025

Voted one of your favorite countries in the 2024 Readers’ Choice Awards, Thailand frequently tops travel lists as a country known for its culture of hospitality. Thanks to its tourism-friendly policies—and in part to runaway success of the third season HBO’s The White Lotus—the destination has never been more popular, and interest shows no signs of slowing down. But behind the smiling first impression lies a complex cultural code grounded in two core values: "graengjai," the instinct to avoid imposing on others, and “namjai,” a generous outpouring of the heart. “Jai” means heart, and heartfelt values accordingly permeate daily life, shaping everything from casual interactions with vendors to, potentially, deeper exchanges.

I was born and raised in Thailand, and I attended an international school in Bangkok before moving abroad and eventually living across three continents. Navigating between cultures became second nature, and code-switching the norm. Sometimes, it takes leaving a place to see it with fresh eyes, and I’ve since written multiple guidebooks about Thailand, photographed its coastlines for conservation campaigns, and returned time and again for both work and wonder—feeling the pull home.

Given its complex cultural tapestry, here’s what I think travelers should know when embarking on a journey through the Land of Smiles with awareness, sensitivity, and grace.

Continues with photos at

https://www.gayguides.com/forum/3-gay-thailand/?do=add

 

 

[floridarob]

Link isn't correct?

[reader]

1 hour ago, floridarob said:

Link isn't correct?

Apologies.

https://www.cntraveler.com/story/unwritten-rules-for-traveling-in-thailand

[fedssocr]

#1 is a bit of a surprise. I always heard that foreigners should avoid the wai since we don't know all of the nuances. I always just give a little bow.

[PeterRS]

1 hour ago, fedssocr said:

#1 is a bit of a surprise. I always heard that foreigners should avoid the wai since we don't know all of the nuances. I always just give a little bow.

Living here for more than a couple of decades, that is always what I have been told!

Interesting that she mentions "Keep the displays of affection private". There was a thread on this issue some years ago with some posters basically saying, more or less, I'll do what I want. Part of the conversation dealt with 2 guys kissing in a very public place. Not a peck on the cheek but a full blown lengthy French kiss on a Skytrain platform. Some felt that this should not cause any problem as Thailand is a tourist-oriented country and should accept such behaviour, even though it is not what Thai's would do. I totally disagree. In a pub, club or disco, OK. But respect for and an understanding and acceptance of local sensibilities is important re tourism in all countries. When in Rome . . . 

[Ruthrieston]

My first trip to Thailand was in 1998, and I have been living here since 2011. In earlier years I remember that Thai couples would never even hold hands while walking in public, in more recent years it is a regular thing to see. Presumably culture changes over time. I really love seeing the Tomboys holding hands with their girlfriends these days. Though I am confused by the disappearance of the Tomboy clubs that I used to see on Third Road here in Pattaya, which all seem to have vanished. 

[reader]

3 hours ago, fedssocr said:

#1 is a bit of a surprise. I always heard that foreigners should avoid the wai since we don't know all of the nuances. I always just give a little bow.

I've read that opinion but I instinctively return it if someone wai's me. I find that Thais are very understanding and appreciate the gesture.

[bkkmfj2648]

After 2 years 6 months here - I find myself performing the wai frequently.  It has now become habit and I have never seen a Thai person seem to be disappointed in the way that I performed the wai - as often I am wai-ing back to their initiated wai and the resulting smiles are endearing.  After reading the below article about the nuances of the proper ways to perform the wai - I now realize that I still have a lot to learn.

https://jonesyinthailand.com/culture/etiquette-and-customs/the-thai-wai/

Now I find that my wais are occurring even outside of Thailand - during my 62 days in Cebu I was often wai-ing and I remember 1 Filipino asked me if I was Buddhist as a result.

 

[kokopelli3]

2 hours ago, Ruthrieston said:

My first trip to Thailand was in 1998, and I have been living here since 2011. In earlier years I remember that Thai couples would never even hold hands while walking in public, in more recent years it is a regular thing to see. Presumably culture changes over time. I really love seeing the Tomboys holding hands with their girlfriends these days. Though I am confused by the disappearance of the Tomboy clubs that I used to see on Third Road here in Pattaya, which all seem to have vanished. 

I believe Win89 Tomboy is still in operation on Third Road basically across from  X Zyte. There is also 4 Stop Tomboy close by but don't think it is open.

[Londoner]

The only time I "wai-ed" was when I met P's parents for the first time. He had spent an hour or so explaining its intracises to ensure that I got the angles right.  He was runner- up in the Kamphaeng Phaet District School Wai completion when he was a teenager, so I believe him to be an expert.

"Wai competition"?  Yes; a reminder of how significant it is in Thai culture.

I recall that another surprising inter-school competition back then was one for ladyboys. What a strange place rural Thailand is (or was) for us foreigners! Things have changed; or at least some things have.

[vinapu]

11 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

  After reading the below article about the nuances of the proper ways to perform the wai - I now realize that I still have a lot to learn.

 

 

I wouldn't worry about  all the nuances and just do it, leave nuances to locals if they care or have anything at stake. It's not that we show them a finger accidentally

[khaolakguy]

Do you guys realise how important is to shake hands in the correct way? What is the correct way? Did anyone teach you? Did anyone take offence?

[10tazione]

16 hours ago, reader said:

I've read that opinion but I instinctively return it if someone wai's me. I find that Thais are very understanding and appreciate the gesture.

I think to wai back or alternatively to nod your head and smile are the best reactions.

What i find strange in the article is 

"Return it when offered—especially to elders and monks" 

because i thought it is always the person of lower status who initiates the wai and monks are of higher status than we farang so what would that situation be where I could possibly return a wai to a monk?

[12is12]

Apologies for veering off subject:

Where was this photo (in the article) taken?

[xpaulo]

I recently encountered the eating with a spoon and fork combo for the first time on a recent trip to Istanbul. I had never seen it on several previous trips to Turkey, but this time I was on a boat daytrip and almost all of the passengers were part of an Iranian tour group. I checked google, eating with a spoon and fork is an Iranian custom. Later on the same trip I saw it in Morocco a couple of times too. Using a spoon for rice and other dishes certainly makes more sense than a knife and fork.

[xpaulo]

Actually, after reading through the entiire list, I'd say most of social customs about what 'not to do' would apply in Canada as well and probably in many other countres too. Something that really stands out for me in western Europe and less so in Latin America is how much public affection there is. I was somewhat shocked and uncomfortable with things I saw in Germany. Public kissing, fondling, etc isn't against the law, but Canadians don't like to see it. A university professor from the UK who emigrated to Canada said on her first visit to Canada, his daughter asked how Canadians have babies since they never touch each other. A tour gude in Colombia told me while living in Canada he was walking with a girl he was dating and when he tried to hold her hand, she shied away like she had just been scalded. Touching anybody not a close friend/family has become even more risky as some people freak out even when touched on the arms or shoulders. Public confrontation is avoided, although becoming more common. Sadly there are many Trump supporters in Canada now and they want to make a point whereever they go. My favourite is declining food before accepting food. On a trip to Germany I was asked by a couple if it's true that Canadian young people staying at family billets on school trips will say they are not hungry two or even three times before accepting. It's true. Americans seem to think taking off shoes is odd, but in Canada it's a necessity given our climate. As I said I'm sure these or variations are normal in many countries.

[PeterRS]

6 hours ago, khaolakguy said:

Do you guys realise how important is to shake hands in the correct way? What is the correct way? Did anyone teach you? Did anyone take offence?

I assume that is a joke. Even if there are several ways of shaking hands, westerners learn these as they are growing up, much the same as Thais learn the wai - which does have several important position.

[BangkokDreamer]

On 4/10/2025 at 5:24 PM, fedssocr said:

#1 is a bit of a surprise. I always heard that foreigners should avoid the wai since we don't know all of the nuances. I always just give a little bow.

Ask the front does to teach you. I had no issue being taught on my first visit to Thailand. 

[vinapu]

6 hours ago, khaolakguy said:

Do you guys realise how important is to shake hands in the correct way? What is the correct way? 

I like strong handshake,  not like one is handing me overs some unwrapped jelly

[a-447]

I was under the impression that a 'wai' is always initiated by the person with the lower status, and hence, a farang customer in a gogo bar, for example, would never initiate a 'wai' to a gogo boy and would not offer one in return.

I just nod to acknowledge the greeting and only 'wai' to someone older - increasingly rare these days!

When I returned from Japan to live permanently in Australia my first instict when meeting someone was to bow. If I accidently stood on someone's foot or bumped into them, I'd say 'sorry' and accompany my apology with a bow. It was just something ingrained in me.

My friends would have a laugh when they saw me bowing while on the phone to a Japanese person. 

'WTF?? You are bowing to someone who can't even see you!'

They missed the point. The bow is very closely tied to the language and is automatically triggered by the use of certain phrases in certain situations. You don't even realise you are doing it.

So I don't care if people see me bowing in public whilst I'm on the phone. From my perspective, it's perfectly natural.

I absolutely LOVE it when a Thai 'wais' me. It is such a calm, gentle, elegant gesture that immediately signals respect.