Appearance fees (aka tip for entertain)

[colmx]

Just back from 3.5 weeks in LOS (Pattaya, Phuket, and Bangkok). During this trip, I noticed that the concept of appearance fees (aka tips for entertainment) seems to have become a requirement.

What do I mean by this?

In the past, I would often take a boy or two from a bar to a club, karaoke, morlam, etc., without ending up in the bedroom. The boys would be compensated for their time (e.g., 1000 baht) and go home happy. Often, I would also ask if they wanted to invite some friends to join us after work, or they might invite friends anyway if we already knew each other.

The joiners or uninvited tag-along guests usually received 1-200 baht to cover food and transport at the end of the night, and of course, all their drinks and food were paid for throughout the evening.

On my most recent trip, there were a few occasions where the joiners demanded a "tip for entertainment" at the end of the night or simply asked upfront, "How much will the farang pay if we join?"

This is a new and unwelcome phenomenon for me. For the last 20+ years, when I have been going out, the boys were just happy to have a sponsor to pay for the night out and join as friends, rather than as a paid entourage. I'm curious if others have come across this behavior recently?

[reader]

Although I don't ask group of guys out, I regularly meet one of my favorite Bangkok massage guys for food and beers after he finishes work. He speak English and is great company. On occasion his brother (who works at different shop) may join us. Have never been asked by either for any compensation but do give them taxi fare home.

[khaolakguy]

My experience in the past was like yours, and I would have been surprised to be asked for tips in those circumstances. 

Let's hope that the recent appearance fee requests were exceptions rather than a new pattern. Hell, if the guys have somewhere they would rather be, feel free..........

[colmx]

15 minutes ago, khaolakguy said:

Hell, if the guys have somewhere they would rather be, feel free..........

Agreed, and that is what my BF told the guy that joined up with us, fell asleep at the table and had to be carried home, but next day had the temerity to tell our mutual friend to ask me where his tip was!

[a-447]

On occasion I have taken a friend out to dinner and told him he could invite his mates of he wanted to. Of course, he did.

One night a dozen or so of us went to a huge outdoor seafood restaurant in Pattaya and we had the all you can eat buffet. Drinks flowed freely.

At the end of the evening they all thanked me profusely. Not one of them asked for a tip. And tbh, it didn't even occur to me that a tip would be in order, as I had not offed them from the bar; it was their choice to come and enjoy a free meal.

[macaroni21]

@colmx might it be that whoever you asked to invite his friends over somehow hinted to those friends that you would be paying for their time and company?

[spoon]

Ive had taken a boy off his bar and gives him tip, but also invited another non bar guy to join me for free dinner/night out. I wanted to give him some compensation but he flat out refused. Of course, i did over tip him at his workplace the next day and he was surprised but accepted it. 

Cant recall other ocassions that ive invited another guy to join us. I guess i dont like the crowd lol.

[jason1975]

36 minutes ago, spoon said:

Ive had taken a boy off his bar and gives him tip, but also invited another non bar guy to join me for free dinner/night out. I wanted to give him some compensation but he flat out refused. Of course, i did over tip him at his workplace the next day and he was surprised but accepted it. 

Cant recall other ocassions that ive invited another guy to join us. I guess i dont like the crowd lol.

You are such a gentleman!

[bkkmfj2648]

4 hours ago, a-447 said:

On occasion I have taken a friend out to dinner and told him he could invite his mates of he wanted to. Of course, he did.

One night a dozen or so of us went to a huge outdoor seafood restaurant in Pattaya and we had the all you can eat buffet. Drinks flowed freely.

At the end of the evening they all thanked me profusely. Not one of them asked for a tip. And tbh, it didn't even occur to me that a tip would be in order, as I had not offed them from the bar; it was their choice to come and enjoy a free meal.

I ditto what you wrote above @a-447

My former, PMB (Primary Money Boy) - but now my Thai boyfriend - when I would invite him and his friends out for drinking and/or eating - I would pay for the entourage but no "appearance fee" was ever requested or expected.  The invited guys got more out of the experience by being seen by their friends with this crazy farang (me) out having fun and drinks.  It was good for their image and social media feeds.  And it was good for me as I enjoy the entertainment and the associated ใจดี (Jai Dee) credits.

[Vessey]

I often hand-out appearnce fees and have done so for years; not only boys, but ladyboys and particularly girls where the practice is perhaps more deep rooted.

The simple logic is that I am paying for their time during their 'working' hours. 

For me it is almost always done by prior arrangement.  For example, take my friend Y who works in Toy Boys. He is a fairly popular boy, but feels the low season Doldrums as much as any.  Y is a regular visitor to my room for STs each holiday, and has been for the last five or six years, and I am very fond of him, although he is not my boyfriend. 

If I drop into his bar and he is there, then unless he is already 'busy', I call him down for a drink. If I have no other particuar plans for the evening I might ask him if he wants an off +500 baht (I am not as generous as colmx haha), and he almost always does. So I am taking him out of his bar, perhaps to go and eat and/or visit other bars, or even go 'dancing' later on.  At the end of the night, he gets his 500 and often another 100 in small change for a Bolt. 

He might have sat around all night in his bar and had no other customer, or even drinks, but it's his choice to come with me or not. But he knows he will get fed, paid and have a good time for the next few hours. For me, I have a lovely, fun, companion with me for the rest of the evening. Ok sometimes that evening extends back to my room and the tip is then commensurately bigger for overnight cuddles and/or sex as you would expect.

Such appearance fees work well for me and the boy; win win!

What Colmx justifiably complains about is when boys appear at your whisky table in places like Sinlapin or one of the many Karaoke bars, and then expect a hand-out at the end of the evening, then I usually say no, but maybe give a little taxi money if they have been good fun. If I see other boys in a bar who ask if I am going 'dancing' later and want to come, then I will usually say quite clearly that it would be on a  'drinks only' basis, so it is up to them if they show.

[Min]

On 1/27/2025 at 4:47 PM, Vessey said:

The simple logic is that I am paying for their time during their 'working' hours. 

When I took J. to some place, he often asked if a couple of his friends could tag along. The first time that happened, I asked him if I was expected to give them tips and the answer was NO. However, if some of the boys were not freelancers and it was their working night at the bar, then I was also asked to pay for their off fee (300B or 400B per person)

[ggobkk]

Some folks are greedy/needy and push the limits

[colmx]

Thanks all for your input here, and glad to hear that this practice is not widespread or starting to proliferate!

On 1/27/2025 at 6:58 AM, macaroni21 said:

@colmx might it be that whoever you asked to invite his friends over somehow hinted to those friends that you would be paying for their time and company?

Possibly, but it happened on 3 different occasions and there were different people involved in the third

On 1/27/2025 at 9:47 AM, Vessey said:

What Colmx justifiably complains about is when boys appear at your whisky table in places like Sinlapin or one of the many Karaoke bars, and then expect a hand-out at the end of the evening, then I usually say no, but maybe give a little taxi money if they have been good fun. If I see other boys in a bar who ask if I am going 'dancing' later and want to come, then I will usually say quite clearly that it would be on a  'drinks only' basis, so it is up to them if they show.

Perhaps i need to be more clear about the 'drinks only' basis going forward.... lets see at songkran!

[Travelingguy]

Just say no.

[Olddaddy]

On 1/29/2025 at 3:49 AM, Min said:

When I took J. to some place, he often asked if a couple of his friends could tag along. The first time that happened, I asked him if I was expected to give them tips and the answer was NO. However, if some of the boys were not freelancers and it was their working night at the bar, then I was also asked to pay for their off fee (300B or 400B per person)

That's reasonable I think.

But it wouldn't be reasonable if they asked for a later tip/fee for their time especially if they asked to go and you bought them drinks 🍻 

Of course you would have to make it clear before taking them.

I usually get them to sign a document saying they understand the conditions & terms and have it witnessed ✍️📝

[Slut1215]

Well I would strongly urge people who encounter such cases to politely say no. It’s ridiculous. Unless one needed the numbers then maybe

[vinapu]

26 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

 

I usually get them to sign a document saying they understand the conditions & terms and have it witnessed ✍️📝

smoking weed again? 

Don't forget to date  document, otherwise it may not be legally bound

[vinapu]

18 minutes ago, Slut1215 said:

Well I would strongly urge people who encounter such cases to politely say no. It’s ridiculous. Unless one needed the numbers then maybe

Or feels burden of unspent money? 

[Slut1215]

Just now, vinapu said:

Or feels burden of unspent money? 

Then we urge those guys to find vinapu who would teach them the basics of the stamp collection.

[vinapu]

3 minutes ago, Slut1215 said:

Then we urge those guys to find vinapu who would teach them the basics of the stamp collection.

I don't charge for tutorials nor expect any freebies in exchange. 

[Slut1215]

All the more they ought to. Hehe

I know I learnt a lot reading your sharings in here over the past years. And want to say thank you Vinapu!

[vinapu]

1 minute ago, Slut1215 said:

All the more they ought to. Hehe

I know I learnt a lot reading your sharings in here over the past years. And want to say thank you Vinapu!

I'm just nobody called names like " KFC man" on the street by all and sundry. 

[Slut1215]

You do know non descript always plays well. 
 

Names are just names