Trip report Jan/Feb 2025 - Cebu & beyond - Research if an elderly gay retiree can live comfortably in Cebu

[floridarob]

1 hour ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

This is what I do not like about the Filipino people – they are not taught how to think outside of the box and to take CONTROL when something goes wrong or goes in tilt.  Perhaps they are indoctrinated to not own a situation and empowered to fix it?

100%

I worked with them on the cruise ship and they would only quote Policy and Procedure....I tried to explain that that is a guide, a roadmap.... and if a bridge was washed out on the road you'd have to find another way around.....yet they would drive straight into a washed out bridge because they can't think outside the box 🤷‍♂️

Ever call into a call center and they read the stupid scripts and take forever to service your call, omg

[macaroni21]

@bkkmfj2648 A few things crossed my mind as I read your wonderful reports; you've probably thought of them too, but I'd like to know how you weigh these issues:

1. Seeing the empty field around your tower block and noting your comment that the seaside town is only half built, do you anticipate noisy, dusty construction activity right in front of your balcony in months/years to come? I am aware that you do not yet have a long lease on the apartment, but you seem to like that block and apartment.

2. Although I don't consider a one hour commute all that bad - it only requires proper planning for one's own errands - I wonder if it will deter grindr and other contacts from coming to you? Maybe a higher rate of no-shows? Maybe you'd have to cover their Grab cost to and fro (which may add USD 30 to your outlay each time). Especially if the hungry boys are mostly working in the business outsourcing industry of IT Park.

[bkkmfj2648]

3 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

re you planning on going over to Dumaguete?

They apparently call it "Dramagette"because of the expats fighting each other 

No - as one of the Philippine YouTube bloggers that I follow just had a MAJOR blowup in Dramagette (Dumaguete) and I do not want to waste my time there.

Also, when I checked some months ago, I could not find a Jomtien type of place with condos directly on the sea in Dumaguete so I ruled it out.  As there are more than 7.000 islands in the Philippiines I need to be very selective.

Remember the Marathon runner that I met in Cebu city that I wrote about in my 12 January post? 

He recommends that I go and check out Subic, Zambales as he said that they have hirise condos directly on the beach

[bkkmfj2648]

4 hours ago, floridarob said:

Ever call into a call center and they read the stupid scripts and take forever to service your call, omg

And this is funny to hear you say this when the Philippines has been the primary GLOBAL benefactor of the BPO - Business Process Outsourcing call center phenomena.  First it was India and then that did not work out as hoped.  So, the world picked up many of their BPOs and moved them to the Philippines.

I was part of the management team that created our internal BPO in Budapest, Hungary in 2008 and 2009.  We lifted and shifted expensive work processes that were being performed in our expensive HQ in Rome, Italy and moved them to Budapest, where the labor arbitrage (cost savings) was around 66%.

Some of our sister organizations had tried the India route but it did not go well due to the version of English accent that they speak there and consequently, they had to leave India after a while.

4 hours ago, floridarob said:

they would only quote Policy and Procedure....I tried to explain that that is a guide, a roadmap.... and if a bridge was washed out on the road you'd have to find another way around.....yet they would drive straight into a washed out bridge because they can't think outside the box 🤷‍♂️

Ever call into a call center and they read the stupid scripts and take forever to service your call, omg

What you wrote above also applied to our newly born internal BPO in Budapest - as they were formerly a communist country where they were VERY prone to follow the Policy and Procedures manual too exactly, which caused an uprising in our Rome, HQ office.  So, to mitigate this cultural barrier problem, we brought many of the Hungarian staff over to Italy so they could learn about the Italian way of doing things:

• let's meet to have a coffee,
• let's discuss what appears to be the problem,
• let's look at the Policy and Procedure manual for the "scappatoia" = loophole or work around to make it happen,
• if one cannot be found, let us ask a powerful bureaucrat for a "deroga" = waiver to said crazy policy,
• ironically this worked, because we discovered that in the Hungarian language, they also have a similar word = "kiskapu" = little gate = loophole - that they used to get around the lazy communist bureaucrats, 
• once the Italians and Hungarians understood that their respective cultures had already invented words to get around nasty bureaucrats, who have way too much time on their hands with the attitude of:  "I am a powerful manager and I will make all of your lives miserable and codify it" they LOVED each other and then our new in-house BPO was then loved by our Italian HQ,
• we later found out that the Hungarians were better at their "kiskapu" talents than our Italian staff with their "scappatioia" skills --> truly a match made in heaven.

How can we find this secret for the wonderful Filipino people ?

 

[EricV]

Filipinos are actually very creative in finding solutions - just wait till you need a contractor to fix something in your place or your car...you'll be amazed...

The problem is that in corporations, the employees are not empowered. And worse, in many cases, they will be punished for any mistake they make or policy violation. If they break something by mistake in the course of their work, the cost will come out of their salary - even if it is a month or two of salary... 

Also, most (regular) Filipinos abhor confrontation... So, don't be too harsh on them. If something just doesn't make sense, just smile nicely, say no problem, and keep going... 

[floridarob]

2 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

How can we find this secret for the wonderful Filipino people ?

I think it's burned into them....I notice the same "mentality" with my pinoy friends in the USA

[floridarob]

2 minutes ago, EricV said:

The problem is that in corporations, the employees are not empowered. And worse, in many cases, they will be punished for any mistake they make or policy violation. If they break something by mistake in the course of their work, the cost will come out of their salary - even if it is a month or two of salary... 

Not unique to the Filipinas 🤷‍♂️ 

Yet they will die by it....

[bkkmfj2648]

5 hours ago, macaroni21 said:

I'd like to know how you weigh these issues:

1. Seeing the empty field around your tower block and noting your comment that the seaside town is only half built, do you anticipate noisy, dusty construction activity right in front of your balcony in months/years to come? I am aware that you do not yet have a long lease on the apartment, but you seem to like that block and apartment.

To answer your good question, I need to refer back to the Megaworld Mactan Newtown master development plan document, which can be seen here at:  https://yourhome.ph/property/the-mactan-newtown/

in the part of the document labeled: "Site Development Plan".

From my corner balcony, which is at the end of Tower A of my OPR complex and next to Tower 4 in the primary Newtown Blvd complex there will be NO construction between our 2 complexes as there is just not any physical space available. 

However, that empty field (indicated in the blue circle below) faces towards the Mactan Shrine, which affronts the Magellan Bay - and as you can see from the extracted portion of this immediate area of the master development plan there are NO new condos slated for that area.

However, there are 3 sites under construction (for which I can hear construction noises), which are for the:

• Mactan World Museum,
• The Pearl Global residences,
• and, see below updated map - new addition - the massive NEW Positano Mactan development

None of these 3 additional construction sites will block the view of the OPR tower that I am in - which means that for the other 3 towers in my complex they may have obstructed views.

I do like this end of the hallway unit - but I do not like facing the Magellan Bay, as it is not as majestic as the other sea views.  I would much prefer to face the Hilutungan Channel that separates Mactan island from the Olango island as shown in the below map.

I have not noticed any dusty conditions on me or on my balcony.  The noise from the Mactan Shrine of the youngsters playing their boom boxes and dancing and having fun is more loud than the distant construction noises.  But no noise to bother me from sleeping - as the city noises of honking jeepneys and motorbikes with loud exhausts are prevented by the Megaworld Mactan Newtown private security force from entering into the township - it is super controlled.

On 4 February, I will move to the building across the street, One Manchester, for 2 nights, which will put me right next to the The Pearl Global residences, which are currently being built - so I can assess again the noise and line-of-site from that condo unit as it is supposed to have a beautiful balcony sea view.

But, I am thinking that when I return from Boracay, to try and rent an AirBnB that is facing the sea that is towards Olango island so that I can assess which sea view is truly better.

5 hours ago, macaroni21 said:

2. Although I don't consider a one hour commute all that bad - it only requires proper planning for one's own errands - I wonder if it will deter grindr and other contacts from coming to you? Maybe a higher rate of no-shows? Maybe you'd have to cover their Grab cost to and fro (which may add USD 30 to your outlay each time). Especially if the hungry boys are mostly working in the business outsourcing industry of IT Park.

I do not know if it would deter the local trade that resides back in Cebu city to make the 1 hour journey to Mactan Newtown - but I am sure that I would need to add 1,800 pesos (for taxi) to their charge of 3.000 pesos to come all this way.  However, I do notice that there is some local trade available - but to date I have only availed of 1 person so far, the kindergarten teacher - as I have not been feeling too horny of late - these things happen to us elderly retirees.  Hopefully, my horniness will return soon.

Plus, we need to remember, that the Mactan Newtown township is a tiny spec on Mactan island, which is primarily made up of Lapu-Lapu city, which has 520,418 residents, and if 10% are open to gay things - then that would be 52,000 potential possibilities.

 

[bkkmfj2648]

23 minutes ago, EricV said:

Also, most (regular) Filipinos abhor confrontation... So, don't be too harsh on them. If something just doesn't make sense, just smile nicely, say no problem, and keep going... 

Hi @EricV, I agree 200% with what you wrote.

But, what should have I done in the case of the Metro department store staff created crisis situation? 

They were literally blocking me from leaving the 6th floor to get back into the Ayala mall - which unfortunately only goes up to floor 4 and I was on floor 6 in the Metro department store.

I had no choice but to tell the security guard to move out of my way - to walk with my luggage on the immobilized escalator - as the only other alternative, the elevator was malfunctioning because they overloaded the only single elevator by taking the escalator out of service when the store is open. 

Perhaps they should do escalator maintenance after the mall closes at 10pm ?

 

[bkkmfj2648]

Day 35 (01 Febuary 2025)

 

I wake up to discover that the health of my Thai boyfriend has deteriorated.  He now has a fever and is shivering and has a very sore throat.  He gets one of his friends to go to the pharmacy to buy him some medications and throat sprays and lozenges.

Breakfast in my room and I do some work on my laptop.

For lunch I walk over to the Mactan Alfresco open air food market and I order a strange dish (when I am in a new country I like to try new things).  This dish is called Pinakbet, which is an Ilocos vegetable dish made of okra, eggplant, bitter gourd, squash, tomatoes and bagoong (shrimp or fish paste).  It was yummy – but I forgot that sometimes that I do not like okra – especially when it is too stringy and hard to chew down into digestible pieces.  So, some of the okra was easy to chew and some were not.

While they were preparing my meal I walked over to the Pickup coffee truck to order a Pickup Crème Latte – large – so good.

I walked around the Mactan Newtown township checking out the various parking lots to see where I could put my to-be rented motorbike.   I noticed that they all have the same pricing scheme of 30 pesos (~ $0.51 USD) per day for motorbikes.  Not bad.  All of the township condo buildings do not provide parking to non tenants (which us AirBnB “refugee” people are).

Now the big question is why am I not calling a Grab car to bring me to the Q Adventures motorbike rental shop?

I hate when I get in these procrastinating moods.  I feel that it is based on fear of riding a motorbike in a foreign country.  Back in Thailand, I will only ride a motorbike in Jomtien or over on any of the islands – where I feel relatively safe.  I won’t drive a motorbike into Pattaya city as I just don’t feel safe and capable enough.  Out here on Mactan island, the traffic is relatively calm – so I should not be afraid.

My silly objective is to ride out to where Mactan island ends at its most exterior point.  I come from Long Island, in New York, and I loved driving out to the most extreme point of the south fork, to Montauk point.

I know myself – I just need to be ready to do it and it can only happen when my confidence is ready….

So, as a substitute and being a good procrastinator, I decide to walk over to the Mactan Shrine – which is only a 10 minute walk from my condo building.  It is what I see when I stand on my balcony and look towards the sea (Magellan Bay), as the monument sits at the edge of the lagoon that becomes the eventual bay.

The Mactan Shrine park is surrounded by this mysterious perimeter fence with the face of the Lapu-Lapu warrior, that I could not resist to take my picture with:

You enter and it is free other than the people on entry who try to get you to rent one of their umbrellas for anti-sun purposes.  I did not rent one. If you are a history buff, then this is an interesting place from a historical point of view.

First point of interest is the monument where the Lapu-Lapu local men repulsed the Spanish invaders and killed Ferdinand Magellan in 1521 – the first time that Filipinos killed Spanish invaders.  Behind the stone is a depiction of the battle that ensued.

The next point of interest is the Mactan Shrine, where part of it is missing, when the nasty super typhoon, Odette, struck Mactan and Cebu, in December 2021.  What is fascinating is that this shrine was built in 1866 and survived for 155 years quite well until the year 2021.

Next point of interest is the Lapu-Lapu monument which is quite impressive.

Towards the water are the mangroves and lagoon that go out towards the Magellan Bay.

Other points of interest is the tourist souvenir area and I picked up a new sea shell necklace – I am a sucker for those and my previous purchase was on Koh Tao (Turtle Island) back in Thailand – but it is already starting to fall apart.

I also note that the park is quite full of Filipino youngsters congregated in groups off in the perimeter edges, where there is some shade, dancing, listening to music, and having a fun time with their friends – it is a very high energy happy place.

Lastly, here is a photo from my OPR balcony of the Mactan Shrine illuminated at night – notice the blue firefly types of lights in the background – those are attached to the mangroves to give it that mystical and magical look.

To learn more, I share this link:

https://pinkflushedcheeks.blogspot.com/2016/07/an-afternoon-at-mactan-shrine.html

I go back to the Mactan Newtown township to get some dinner at my usual An’Dale food cart to eat my preferred meal = Cebu Chorizo Shawarma.

Return to my room and I check up on my Thai boyfriend and there is no improvement.  I try to push him to go to the doctor and/or hospital - and I believe that he will eventually do so, as you can only shiver for so long before you surrender and ask for help.

With that, I call it a night.

 

No massages or extra-curricular activities today.

 

Day 35 (01 Febuary 2025) concluded.

[Travelingguy]

The Thai guy who lives paycheck to paycheck regardless of how much he makes or what bills he has is not going to change.

The passive aggressive Filipino who smiles as they stick to the script and you get nowhere is not going to change.

People very rarely change in fundamental ways, and that includes you and me.

Cultures are even harder to change.

So we have to accept people how they are.  That does not mean that you cannot set boundaries in your relationships, but life is too short to be trying to change people. 

[EricV]

@bkkmfj2648 I think you did exactly the right thing by going past the security guy down the escalator. 

Your story sounded very familiar - I've been in that situation, having been sent in circles, getting upset and doing the common sense thing in the end anyway.

Now, I try to do the common sense thing before I get upset and while I can still smile at the person asking me to do something non-sensical... better for my heart & everybody involved...

A little rule bending here & there will make your life in the Philippines a lot easier...

@Travelingguy

[bkkmfj2648]

1 hour ago, Travelingguy said:

Cultures are even harder to change.

but as I wrote earlier in this thread - you can find peace and harmony when you can find ways in which the 2 cultures have something in common.  In what I posted earlier in this thread - that magic was in linking 2 different cultures that were clashing by what they had in common - which was their internal word for "loophole" = "scappatoia" in Italian and "kiskapu" in Hungarian.

I have yet to discover this way to find magical harmony here in the Philippines - but what @EricV says is sage advice.