The new politics of desire

[TotallyOz]

 

Sexuality meets globalisation _ Thais are getting involved in more international relationships but the dynamics are changing

The face of Thai sexuality is changing in small fault lines that may soon represent a seismic shift in the way the Land of Smiles is viewed.

 

While the perception of international relationships here in some Western eyes may be of older, overweight, oversexed tourists trawling bars for Thai partners, the post-Vietnam era cliche of American servicemen on R&R is being challenged by and is also accelerating new trends.

 

The sexualisation of Thais in foreign eyes has had an effect on international partnerships, as Thais try to distance themselves from the misperception of being tied to a foreign partner for monetary reasons.

 

As citizens of a middle-income country where status is important, middle class Thais have much to lose or gain by being involved with a foreign partner. In this light, several trends are emerging. Thais seeking foreign partners are more often gazing over the fence at East Asian partners. The "white Asian" ideal is gradually replacing the "white European".

 

There is more migration to the countryside, with German and Swiss enclaves in Isan and Thai village women struggling to fit into life in the austere towns and cities of northern Europe. Even as such migrations increase, their demographics are changing, as many Western men are younger and willing to forsake jobs and connections back home to build a new life on the farm.

 

Young Western women are also finding holiday romance in Bangkok's backpacker areas and the beach full moon parties, with Thai lotharios more than willing to accommodate them for the night or the length of their holiday.

 

The Thai middle class has grown quickly and continues to expand. With the rise in income and education, Thais have more access to international trends and popular culture, and globalisation and social media are playing a major role in the changes.

 

From the popularity of English in texting and Facebook to the pop culture tsunami of the Korean wave, the signs of globalisation are everywhere.

 

We have Korean beauty products, Japanese manga and Hollywood movies, and many celebrities are luk krueng or light-skinned _ that is, those that look more Northeast Asian or Western.

 

Spectrum spoke to those at the coalface of the changes, as well as anthropologists and academics who presented papers on transnational romance recently at the International Conference on Thai Studies, and these are their stories.

 

EASTERN PROMISES

 

"He looks uglier than five years ago!" says Apple* of Barry, her long-time American boyfriend. "And we have a lot of communication problems."

 

Apple's first foreign boyfriend was a Frenchman she met on the internet. After only a short message exchange, he abruptly flew to Bangkok to be with her.

 

"For two months it was nice, but it was like a holiday romance for him. Bangkok corrupted him," she says. "Eventually he fell in love with a massage girl."

 

Another complaint she has about being with Barry is that sometimes waiters and clerks assume she's Barry's bargirl.

 

Like many young middle class women, though, Apple has lost interest in dating Thai men. "They have an ego," she explains, "where everything is about them. Foreigners see themselves as part of the wider world. They have hobbies and other interests.

 

"But farang [culture] is still far away," she adds. "Asians are closer."

 

Apple, 30, works for a fashion magazine and is looking for a Japanese man to replace Barry. She finds men in Korean and Japanese dramas and movies "dreamy".

 

"The image is kind, gentle and handsome," she says. "I know it's not the reality and more of a media depiction.

 

"Also it's the 'whitening' culture," she adds. "Maybe because the Chinese in Thailand do well in business and popular culture. It makes whiter skin more appealing."

 

Woramon Sirinopakul, 23, works for a television station and thinks nationality is less important than it used to be. "I've started to consider each person in his behaviour rather than culture," she says. "Now it's very easy to meet foreigners. For culture, the more unique, the more attractive."

 

As for dating Thai men, she is equivocal: "Thais are fine as long as they have something to talk about. The big advantage is I can say anything without language problems."

 

"But all my life I see ton of bad Thai men. For a date, yes," she concludes. "But for marriage, no."

 

Ms Woramon finds Europeans "artistic and charming" and more attractive than Americans, who "tend to think that everything is easy to understand like a Hollywood movie". The British are especially appealing to her: "The different accents are charming, and I like Brit-pop."

 

Along with British, though, she finds the most attractive men her age to be the Japanese. "I know not every Japanese man is attractive," she says, "but media from Japan _ manga, anime, movies _ is what I love to consume. We'll always have something to talk about."

 

For middle class Thai women or gay men, says Dredge Byung'chu Kang of Emory University in the US, who presented a paper at last month's International Conference on Thai Studies, being seen with an older Westerner often lowers their perception of status, in their own eyes or those of others, because of the country's high-profile sex tourism industry and its roots in the Vietnam War, when the women with the most proximity to Western men were those offering sex for money.

 

Today, large numbers of Western men still come to the Kingdom for sex and some hotels and restaurants have posted "no Thai" policies to distance themselves from the sex trade.

 

Still, the number of Asian sex tourists visiting Thailand probably outstrips the number of Western ones.

 

In a country where the line between appearance and substance is indistinct, the way a relationship looks matters. Thais with means try to avoid being seen as someone's "bargirl" or "money boy", both to avoid judgement by waiters, shop clerks and other strangers and to be recognised on their own merits.

 

Whatever the truth of an arrangement, there is less of a stigma risk when seen with a Far Eastern partner.

 

THE NEW GAY MALE

 

This look to the Far East is especially apparent on the gay scene.

 

"Asians are more similar in culture," says Beer, a 32-year-old dentist. "It's easier to communicate. Their way of thinking is easier to understand."

 

Beer would still consider dating Thai or Western men, but he is largely attracted to "looks, way of thinking and status" _ which equates well with Far Eastern men. "If I love him enough I can adapt to anything," he adds. "But you simplify your life and there's less to overcome if you have similar status."

 

Ken, a 32-year-old travel writer, still prefers Westerners, and says he finds the Korean look "too fake and homogenous".

 

But when asked to name celebrities he finds attractive, he cites Nadech "Barry" Kugimiya and Pope Thanawat, who both have a "white Asian" look, as Mr Kang describes it.

 

Some gay Thais, just like straight people, enter relationships with foreigners to improve their socioeconomic status.

 

Thailand's position between wealthier and poorer countries in the region, he argues, shapes new partner preferences.

 

Mr Kang's research focuses largely on the changing choice of partners for Thai gay middle class males.

 

He loosely defines the middle class as earning between 7,000 and 70,000 baht a month.

 

He cites four main reasons for the gradual lean towards the East rather than West: the regional flow of media and commodities, the internet (notably sites such as gayromeo.com and fridae.com, both used by Thai men to find Asian partners), discount airlines (especially AirAsia) and regional alignments and politics.

 

Gay tourism has expanded greatly in the region in recent years, helped along by circuit parties that help connect Southeast and East Asian party-goers.

 

"East Asian partners are associated with high economic status, modernity and cultural similarity," Mr Kang says.

 

They do not have the nergative status attached to many Anglo-Saxons.

 

"Even when middle class Thais have farang partners, they often hide this fact from family or friends.

 

"Other Asians can be interpreted as friends while farang are more likely coded as sexual partners. Farang are sexualised via the very Western gazes that sexualise Thais."

 

According to Mr Kang, the list of partner preferences mirrors the economic status of its citizens so that Japanese, Koreans and Hongkongese are prioritised over Chinese Singaporeans and Taiwanese, who are preferred to Chinese Malaysians, mainland Chinese and Vietnamese, while other Asians, especially Burmese and Cambodians, are considered undesirable.

 

This results in some dissatisfaction when image doesn't match the reality, such as in relationships with Korean men, who in Korean soap operas are seen as soft, sweet and romantic but in life can also be aggressive, impatient and stubborn, says Mr Kang.

 

For the rest of the article:

 

http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/investigation/252745/the-new-politics-of-desire

 

 

 

[Guest thaiworthy]

Damn! Now I've got competition from Koreans and Japanese. Isn't my skin white enough? As if I didn't have enough competition in the U.S. I'm not sure this article convinces me that my image as a trophy farang is any more tarnished because of globalization, but what have N-Eastern Asians got that I haven't? It's just a romanticized view of them seen in in the media. Or is it just a narrower gap between cultures just for being Asian? Mebbe. I really don't know. I can only speak as a 13-year-old tourist. I was shocked to learn there are any stigmas at all by Thais-- of Thais with westerners.

 

There isn't much else to say about in this article that I didn't already know. I do believe more farang are relocating to Isaan. The farang population itself is becoming more geographically homogenous. Once gay farang men find boyfriends, this becomes more relevant.

 

Also I agree with the insecurities: Thai boys worry somewhat that their farang boyfriends may dump them for younger, prettier boys, while the farang worries the boy loves them only for his money.

 

The article doesn't mention when the dynamics fail and farang leap to their deaths from balconies. Where is the disillusion from such globalization? Can't the chic upstarts from Korea and Japan face failure? Are Thai perceptions that fickle? Will their fellow Asians become as ugly 5 years from now as we are seen today? Are Thais really that shallow? I can't accept that.

 

Altogether, I would have to say the new politics of desire represent only a small fraction of the Thai people. If I didn't, I wouldn't be interested in Thailand.

[Guest]

Shouldn't be too long before the Chinese middle classes start looking abroad for brides, with an unfavourable male to female ratio.

[Guest buckeroo2]

I can only speak as a 13-year-old tourist.

 

Wow! - A 13 year old tourist posting on our fair board. Maybe you can come to Sunee and give these underage Thai boys a run for their money.

[Rogie]

Shouldn't be too long before the Chinese middle classes start looking abroad for brides, with an unfavourable male to female ratio.

I'm sure you are right Z.

 

Here's an interesting glimpse into modern-day China - with a clear trend in favour of materialisation, coupled to easier ways to get a divorce, things are looking grim for young Chinese men who are in danger of being priced out of the market.

 

China tries to stop women marrying for money, rather than love

In China's booming cities, prospective husbands are now routinely vetted about whether they own a house, and preferably also a car, before a match can be agreed. Tying the knot without a house as part of the deal is jokingly called a "naked marriage" and widely thought to be a risky choice.

 

"I would choose a luxury house over a boyfriend that always makes me happy without hesitation," said one 24-year-old contestant on If You Are the One, one of China's most popular television dating shows. "And my boyfriend has to have a monthly salary of 200,000 yuan (

[Guest]

China tries to stop women marrying for money, rather than love

 

I also thought that might have been an issue, but didn't raise it yesterday.

Of course if the Chinese women go for the money, the middle class straight males should have no problem in finding brides at home, whilst the poorer ones will struggle at home and not be able to "buy" one abroad either.

[Rogie]

Of course if the Chinese women go for the money, the middle class straight males should have no problem in finding brides at home, whilst the poorer ones will struggle at home and not be able to "buy" one abroad either.

That's probably a fair assessment.

 

The article was focussed on urban Chinese in the 'booming cities' as they put it.

 

I would imagine what holds there is light years away from the situation in rural areas - I'd guess life will go on there much as it always has for a fair bit longer.

 

I don't know how a poor heterosexual male living in the country with no assets and unable to travel or acquire a mail-order bride will fare in the marriage stakes, faced with a sexual imbalance. I don't know if they have arranged marriages these days, if so that's another consideration, although there's probably a few men who would breathe a sigh of relief to have 'courting' rituals done away with.

[Guest thaiworthy]

Wow! - A 13 year old tourist posting on our fair board. Maybe you can come to Sunee and give these underage Thai boys a run for their money.

 

Correct. I should have said 13-year tourist.