BjornAgain

As in "Ghantee-Wallah".

Yes luxury hotels have moved with the times. Certainly the pre Rocco Forte owned (2003) Brown's Hotel in London did in the great suites, however since his sister, Olga Polizzi organised their refurbishment, I believe the old ropes have gone. Certainly Claridges did in some of the suites up to the early 2000's as use to work next door and was chatty with the Front of House smoking gang. In fact had to ask them on a couple of occasions to get them to tell their Glaswegian head chef to "move his fecking Black Horse from the loading bay" as it was blocking access. Remember staying at a Hunting and Fishing Lodge up near the River Dee in Scotland in 1997 that still had the ropes. Just tried to Google it, but can't find it or remember the name. I quite sure a few still exist, but most likely you could count them on one hand.

Phones, perish the thought. One pulls the bell rope my dear fellow.

Take a look at GayHK.Com

To be honest, I have Grab as a backup, as always use Bolt. The broadcast message 15 minutes prior to your booking time doesn't surprise me, as the impression I get most drivers use the App for extra income, rather than be a full time private hire driver. To have pre-booked the driver, knowing the Thai culture of Timekeeping, this would be a very tall order in terms of reliability.

Just done a quick comparison between Bolt and Grab. From my place in Jomtien to Swampy, Grap quoting 1548THB, but Bolt only quoting 1068THB. Both Apps now have a Schedule option, so you can pre-book in advance.

3000THB currently. Ferry is still 30THB. Both costs are one way. Double for return.

In terms of beach, then Hilton has easy access. However, I personally wouldn't go in the water at either Pattaya or Jomtien, as water quality isn't up to Western standards, black water, especially after it's rained. For a cleaner beach head out to one of the islands, if you choose Ko Lan, top tip, get the Baht Bus when you arrive and go over to the other side (West) of the island. Boats from Bali Hai Pier. As @Olddaddy says, use Bolt or Grab. Bolt has more cars / bikes then Grab. Just download from your preferred AppStore. Same for the Baht Bus, still 10THB, but talk of increase to 20THB soon. Straight down Beach Road from the back of the Hilton and get off at Soi 13/4 and walk up. Have stayed at the Hilton a few times. The 'smash & grab' breakfast and evening buffet is fine, the roof top restaurant offers a great view for a sundowner or meal, foods not bad either. Not stayed at the Intercontinental so can't compare the 2. Have a good trip.

Was about to suggest Silver Lake Vineyard which is just south of Patts if you're travelling down this way. Unfortunately; just checked and is now permanently closed. Shame as the onside restaurant wasn't bad, and they have a B&B, so you can over do it and not have to travel. From the few bottles of Thai grape wine I've tried, found them Sec as opposed to Brut. However did find Knight Black Horse Cab Sav red is a decent drop at 400-450THB a bottle (Big-C or Lotus). It's actually Australian Cab Sav which is blended with 5% locally grown Roselle, this allows them to bypass the 100% import tax, so your saving 300+THB a bottle against the imported Aussi stuff. Be careful, as you need to read the label on the back of the bottle to ensure it's the Aussi stuff, as their labels tend to look the same, otherwise you're end up with a bottle of Thai sticky. There winery is based in north BKK if you fancy an excursion.

Up on Business early October, just compared Suite with Breakfast, costing 18,362THB for 2 nights in Croom, whereas same at the Hilton with a pool only costing me 9,039THB. Think I'll keep with Hilton. Interesting the Croom website says Gym, but no photo as to contents. Also no pool. I think @reader is right, the Japanese men on expense accounts will be the majority of the clientèle.

Or as they use to say in ancient Rome, "Philosophum non Facit barba".

Having perfected the Japanese art of sumo as a kid, I can retract my gentleman's sausage and cajones upside my pubic arch. Free haircuts all round!

That's me out, as the security on my phone bans QR codes due to their risk. You don't know if it's a Website link or an automated login to a website or download an App, activate GPS or WiFi, instigate a phone call or even compose a message (e-Mail or SMS) etc. Despite their surgence in popularity, I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole.

As @bkkmfj2648 says, have a rummage on AirBnB, having said that put 3 months in from 1st November, and the prices are well out of order. Might be best to look for 2 different Condos or even 3 once you know your dates. Had some work couple of years ago in Johor Bahru and Singapore, stayed in JB for 3 months. Got a cracking AirBnB deal for a 1 bed, gym, pools, WiFi, and being AirBnB type rental Elec & Water part of the rent. £350 pcm. I've found most AirBnB hosts don't register you with immigration, so you might have fun & games with the local immigration when extending your Visa after 60 days. (Assuming you're 60 day Visa Exemption on arrival). Either that do a border bounce or use an Agent. Anyway, best of luck.

Classic case of Wag The Dog, if you've not seen the movie well worth tracking down (Robert DeNero, Dustin Hoffman, Anne Heche, Denis Leary, Directed by Barry Levinson and music by Mark Knopfler, released in 1997). Paints an accurate picture of US politics and how it's run. If you have seen it, "There's no B3 Bomber".

To be fair in @reader's defence, the more sensational story of a burly Swiss farang doing an Eric Cantona Kung Fu kick (Jan 1995) creates more column inches than what came out in this weeks court case. The tragedy of the event, is despite what we all believed at the time from the initial social media posting picked up by the local and then the national press, Farangs behaving badly and all that, that's the story the vast majority of people will always remember. Not the fact the alleged victim over fabricated the event.

Judging by the report in yesterday's NationThailand taken from the court transcript, CCTV footage showed there wasn't a kicking, also the Dr. was on the 2nd step up from the beach, so not physically possible if 'David' was on the top step. Also the Dr.'s witness who provided a statement was different from the Dr.'s statement, so no collaboration. Plus the Police report hi-lited if the man did kick the Dr., she would have landed on the beach, as opposed to standing up and walking away from where she was sitting as shown on the CCTV footage. Also the bruise on the Dr. 's back submitted as evidence was never medically verified, so dismissed in court. Just goes to prove the total inaccuracies people believe in from Social Media, although antisocial media is more apt an expression.

Not trying to boast, but I'm a regular standard average type of guy!

Knowing Thailand and Quality Control don't always go hand in hand, anyone recommend a good German one as Durex are no longer made in the UK by the London Rubber Company, but here in Thailand as well?

Use to use Nam's Taxi, however they stopped supporting Don Meung Airport, so I switched to Pattaya Cabs. (www.pattayacab.com). Not really Limo's, but they use Toyata Fortuner's or Camry's). Found them totally reliable. About 1800THB. However if you're after the full Limo experience, then Airports of Thailand Limosine service is probably what you're after. (aot-limousine.com). BMW 7 series, you'll be looking at 6000+THB.

Meena Health Massage in Soi Chaiyapoon (aka Soi Pothole) in Pattaya has a good reputation for 'breaking in' first timers.

Couldn't agree more. Next International G&T day is 19th October.

Current line-up from Nine Spa.

Back in the early 1980's LWT on a Sunday evening would show 'Clive James on Television' a sartorial view of the weeks TV plus accepts from the recent Japanese game show Endurance. Bollocks were popular then as well.

You must have a trust worthy face. Got pulled over leaving Dubai a number of years ago, hands and rucksack came up positive on a random swabs test. Escorted into a back room for questioning. Luckily had photos of that morning activities at the Jebel Ali Shooting Club where I had been on the indoor range as well as the Skeet trap. Despite washing my hands they would probably be positive for the next week. Luckily the Security guys had a laugh. Having said that, quite often get swabbed, Sydney in March, HK last October. Think I have an unlucky face, or a known profile!