Suckrates

Question appears after My story............................. Grandma took the day off from work Friday and went to the beach. Gorgeous day, and I was looking all sunkist and "schmexy" so decided to viisit my local sex club that night. Wearing my best "push up" briefs ( its always good to lure in those superficial queens) I made the rounds and scoped out the pickins..... After awhile an OK, average lookin guy in a tank top and boxer shorts (I am always suspicious of guys that wear tank tops to sex clubs) skulks his way over to me and says "do you like to suck big cocks" ? Under my breath I replied " obviously you Don't know me", but since small talk is not fashionable in these venues, I actually replied "UH-HUH"..... He say's "lets go to a room", and takes my hand (oh NO he didn't) and leads me to an empty room. He pushes me down on the settee, positions himself in from of me and pulls out his "average" looking cock. OK, so not what I expected, but I was there already to proceeded to Suck.... He starts talkin and saying, "Ooooh baby thats the kind of blowjob I came here for", and "you're a good, fucking cocksucker"...... But then it happened.... he says "suck that BIG fucking italian/Brazilian brown cock"... Well I spontaneously gasped, and burst out laughing, which he interpreted as me GAGGING, and says "Yeah, that's it faggot, GAG on that BIG cock".... WELL ! Question: What has a guy ever said to you during sex that made you snicker, chuckle, giggle, or laugh out loud ??? BTW - his BIG cock was something like THIS.....

Thanks for the replies guys.... I really thought it was ME, or my failing eyesight.... People often call me the perennial "Doubting Dora". But often the guys I view look like the Pillsbury dough boy brothers of the guy in the pic ! Thanks for clearing up my inquisitive mind !

For awhile now, something has plagued me, but finally decided to ask you guys and see "if its only me" or if I am onto something ? On the Flirt-4-Free site, the preview photos of the guys are always so Hot: they are often ripped and muscular. However when i click to view, what I find is a "less" ripped and muscular" version of the pic, often looking like a guy thats let himself go, or ate too many Mickey D's before going on camera. Does the site re-touch the pics to draw you in ? (I wanted to say "mislead" but that would be crude). I dont see the point to that because if the guy you see on Cam is unappealing, you wont donate. , Often the guy I see on cam is "unappealing".... This happens pretty often.... So, what gives here ?

To summarize, and thank you for the link: 5'6", 190 lbs, NO kissing, NO rimming, sexually confused, a little bit Sissy, not always SAFE sex...... Got it !

spoken like a true bottom...... stand in line hon, most of us are looking for a BIG ONE and cant even find it for FREE . Hope you are wearing comfy Shoes ?

Meet GAY MAN GROUP !

Whew..... For a moment, without my glasses on, all I saw was a blurry "Farewell Readers", and Adam smith.... My heart was racing with excitement as I thought, "could it be, could it Really be" ???? That crazy perverted Bitch is leaving the Boytoy realm ???? I immediately started to think about HOW I would redecorate her vacant Avatar spot, and what I would wear to assume the position of TOP (not in that sense) pussy Here ! But then as my glasses settled on my face I saw it, Alan Rusbridger...... Who the fuck is THAT ????? and WHO cares if he is leaving the Guardian ??? I didnt even know he Worked for that condom company anyway. Well Adam, welcome back ! I'll take down the gold lame' curtains from your avatar real soon.....

Ain't It ???

Happily for me, a trip to Mars isn't on my "Bucket List".....

Introducing MISS SWITZERLAND......

thank you for your kind assessment Missy.....

Do My Pits Look "Twinkish" ??? (Feel Free to Taste Test)

More "frosting" lookin.....What it actually boils down to is that Adam smith "is Full of SHIT", and Piss, and a bagful of Farts...Everything else he posts is just a smokescreen, and I doubt even HE knows what he is actually talking about ! I think its the Chardonay, or the Hennessey, or just maybe its a big ole "doobie" ????? Grandma is nothing like Adam.... I have style, I have grace, and always have a smile when I put someone in their place.... Yes, i do post what I like, but do take into consideration, especially on THIS site, since its soooooo fucking specific, what the viewers want to see.... If you go "over there" and look at my gallery posts, you will NEVER see a twink from me on those pages.... In fact, as for myself, twinks were NEVER in my repertoire of choice before BOYTOY, and I discovered those fresh "chickens" have HUGE gobblers...... So now, if it stretches my mouth, I dont give a flying fuck how many rings there are around his cock... (that's an age reference) Saying that me and Mr Smith are alike is....

Speaking for myself, hard to swallow is an understatement. And that coming from a person that can deep=throat a 12x8 dick with nary a flinch. But Adams stuff, I not only GAG, but often regurgitate, and thats only after I've spent a hot minute trying to figure out what the fuck he was saying. So lookin, I always appreciate that you try to spread "frosting" on every stale biscuit here, but Adams stuff being the reason we all show up crosses the Line.... I show up to find a good feud, learn what all you guys are throwing your money away on, and throw shade at Daddy ! Oh yeah, and to bask in the lushness of Axioms accolades ........ Thank you all for Having me !

I can't watch it now. I am on the phone with the Chinese "take-a-way"........ You know how Grandma loves her Candlelit Suppers ?

Oh Lordy, who knew this story was in Volumes ?

I feel like eatting "Chinese" !

Zzzzzzz, wake me when it's OVA !!!!

Fuck, is everyone here turning into Adam ? Now what the hell am I gonna do with all that information ? I dont remember it ever coming up over dinner !

Kim Kardashian releases her FIRST "unretouched" photo !!!! (NO surprise Here )

At least How Grandma Imagines it !

SON SWAP DAY......

then the "Sparkle" would be gone !