Londoner

The food is good and well-priced. And I enjoy the location. There are times when I wish to observe the soi rather than particpate

You did the right thing. The falang's behaviour reflects badly on all of us. It is often remarked that the guys we were meeting twenty, even thirty years ago were more anxious to please; "unspoiled" if you like. Maybe what happened in more recent years is that more falangs have arrived who have less respect for them. And their reactions to falangs generally have become more cynical. That small minority have affected us all.

I have similar impressions of Paradise. Not much of a venue in terms of decor but I have found suitable (that is, twink) masseurs who have delivered good service.

My boyfriend refers to a straight top who is a MB as a "man-man".

I've hired a car on a few occasions when I've been in CM, not so much for the city as for Doi Intanon and other scenic trips. I find driving in the city a nightmare; the one-way system around the Old City invariably defeats me. The last time I was driving, I had to hire a tuk-tuk to lead me back to my hotel. Never again. On the other hand, if you're staying at the Lotus (the gay one) or Mercure, travel at night is not easy if you are dependent on tuk-tuks.

I was guilty of panic after both my father and my older brother were diagnosed with prostate cancer. My PSA rose at every test I had (at one stage six-monthly) but, now, after a full body scan cleared me, my perceptions have changed. The specialist told me he didn't want to hear from me unless my PSA reached 8.0; hitherto, a reading of 3.0 gave me concern. I now have yearly tests and my reading continues to rise but I no longer worry. By the way, I was interested to note that tests in my GP's surgery which sent to the local hospital for analysis were always significantly higher than those in two different hospitals where I saw specialists..

I'd be interested to know whether other falangs have experienced the transition (evolution?) from a sexual to a platonic relationship with a Thai that Steveboy reports. I've made that journey too, and it has worked out well for both of us. I've always thought my experience unusual.

It is quite clear that successive US administrations have indulged big business far too long. They have too much political power and so they can manifest their contempt for the public in any they wish...until public opinion causse them economic pain.

It may be partly due to one incident but I fell less comfortable with my boyfriend in Patong- Paradise notwithstanding- than in any other pace we've visited in Thailand.

My advice is not to assume that a guy you meet in a bar and take off is dishonest. Take reasonable precautions (with valuables for example) , treat your new friend with respect and kindness, pay him the going-rate - or more if you wish- and relax. Most of the guys are trying to make an an honest living in difficult circumstances; a newcomer to Thailand will soon learn how important parents are to them and how much of the money they make is immediately sent home.

Which hotel did you use? And was Paradise busy?

In answer to Michael's post, my answer would be yes.. I spent an hour in one of the bars with a mature-seeming guy with excellent English . When I wished to off him, he told me he was eighteen. I checked his ID and it showed that he wouldn't reach that age for another three months. The bar was well aware of this. No one, and particularly newbies, should take any chances, as ryanasia correctly says.

Am i right in concluding that Arena no longer has slim, gay guys available? That was my impression when I went there in February....previously, there'd always been a few.

But who's calling the shots? police or junta?

Dear abidismali, Offing a guy from a bar, or even via hornet, is not the same as picking-up a stranger on the street; his identity will be known. Don't worry! just take normal precautions with money and valuables. If you are nervous, stay in a hotel where the ID card is held. Tarntawan in Bangkok and Ambiance in Pattaya for example. In twenty years and seventy plus stays, I've never lost a baht. And even if some of the guys I've offed have performed poorly, I've never met a nasty one...except a cheeky little bugger who wasn't satisfied with 1500 for ST and went off in a huff. He wasn't menacing though, just annoying. You are safer with a MB in Thailand, particularly from a bar, than anywhere else I can think of.

I saw a hi-so Thai take a group of guys from the stage in Toy Boys a couple of years back...they sat in a row playing with their mobiles. Five of them; it meant that there were only six left on the podium for the rest of the customers to enjoy. Ostentatious and selfish behavioiur. I've also seen similar behaviour in Xboys and, worst of all , many years ago in Solid, when five of the eight present were sitting down with a falang and were "out of circulation".

I have a small keyboard to use with my tablet....but after one trip depending on it, I bought a Chromebook....not that much bigger and much better.

Perhaps he could try being the bottom....though I don't like to think how .

You may laugh, but that has happened to me in Pattaya and the price I gave was 1200. Admittedly, it was an to old friend whom I'd not seen for some time and had offed from Wild West for old times sake....but he did say it. And he took the money!

The possibility, however small, of VD and Hiv infection is why I would advise the use of condoms. It's up to you whether you take the risk. However, we have a responsibility towards the guys we pay who may not be aware of the risks.

To my chagrin, I had to send some money urgently to my bf....Western Union were giving 40bht to the pound. A record?

The submarine is just what's needed to keep the monks and the Red-Shirt farmers at bay.

Surely the rooms above the bars in Sunee are full or tenants? the problem is that most of them are asleep until 1500.

My boyfriend and I visit CM regularly; we both love it. The only gay-scene venues we visit are massage joints. Our favourite is Paradise which is within walking distance of Thapae. However, even fifteen years ago when I was single, I found the gay scene diasppointing compared to Bangkok and Pattaya. Its venues are spread-out, for one thing, and usually don't get going until 2230 or later. I used to stay at Lotus (the one near Adam's Apple, not the huge one near the shopping mall). Adam's Apple was, by the way, the place to be in the late 90s with sixty or so dancers and a full house of punters regularly. Students from CMU would come , resulting in the audience being as cute as the performers! We love CM for its laid -back atmosphere, its beautiful and ancient temples its markets (Anusarn is our favourite) and its excursions to mountains, forests and rivers.

I'm surprised at the lack of emphasis on the availability of partners in the afternoons. My meetings (Hornet or Romeo) take place in the afternoons; my evenings are spent with my boyfriend in restaurants and other places of relaxation- not gogo bars. This is partly due to the fact that, now I'm older, i'm more "up for it" in the afternoon but also due to my lack of interest in Pattaya's beach. When I was single and visiting Pattaya twenty years ago I relied on the go go bars- and of course they were more interesting then- but found the afternoons rather boring. I suspect that without the advent of the dating sites, I would no longer be spending any time in Pattaya.