Londoner

A "jai yen"( a cool heart) is a Thai Ideal and one which my partner encourages. There is often a moment, sometimes arriving unexpectedly, when I sense that a tear or two is imminent as we prepare for the taxi to the airport. I have now learnt to subdue this by making a joke. And it almost worked last week.

I must have misunderstood; I thought the new entry on-line arrangements were there to expedite matters. My "special" queue has been longer since it was introduced than before. Three weeks ago, it was so busy that a kindly officer took some of us to an underused entry point for Thai citizens. To my left, the "ordinary" queues were stretching down the slope to the walkway. This was at 1600. The amount of time spent with the I.O. seem to me be the same as in the old days. I should add that exit arrangements do seem quicker. No passport departure stamps, I note.

OD is right about those Youtube "why I now hate Thailand" clips. Very tiresome. But the absence of tourists is noticeable....an old masseur mate still on the scene claims it to be worst period he'd seen in the nine years he's been working. Two days ago we ate in my favoured restaurant, Pon's, in Terminal 21- forgive me if you've already read this in another forum- and it was almost full at 1700.The mall as a whole was heaving with customers. But here's the rub; I seemed to be the only non-Asian customer there. My partner claimed to have spotted another falang in a restaurant...but I didn't. As our taxi took us back along Beach Road, we reminisced about our first trips to Pattaya....1995 for me, 2001 for him....and how we were astonished by a dizzying array of lady bars from the Dusit to Walking street, and little else. All but a couple have been replaced by high-end hotels and restaurants. And they are overwhelmingly for Asian visitors. As we approached the rad to Jomtien, the scene was darker, quieter , more down-market, a remnant of the old Pattaya. but without the crowds.

Strange as it may seem in these "quiet" days , the popularity of the gay hotels was such that it was hard to find a room a Ambiance or Le Cafe Royale. Serene was a cheaper gay-friendly option and was blessedly quiet owing to to its being set back from the soi. Penthouse attracted some gay guests but appeared to me to be aggressively straight and was surrounded by noisy lady-bars. The gay hotels served as useful meeting-places for newbies such as I and, together with Cocobanana (later named Panorama), enabled gay visitors to discuss venues and share experiences with more seasoned travelers. My partner and I remained loyal to Ambiance until five or so years ago when Boyztown's late night show bars , as did Macbeth, " murdered sleep." We still miss it but increasing age demands more sleep than was allowed in Boyztown....and that refers to both of us!

The Thais have a "live and let live" mentality, one that isn't a universal virtue. I wish I could say that it was a specifically Buddhist one but both Myanmar and Sri Lanka prove that not to be the case. In the former, the involvemnt of monks in ant-Rohingya pogroms was deeply shocking. And In Sri Lanka, I cannot forget footage of the Civil War with its mass executions. Let us say that it's a very Thai-Buddhist attitude.

OD is right about those Youtube "why I now hate Thailand" clips. Very tiresome. But the absence of tourists is noticeable....an old masseur mate still on the scene claims it to be worst period he'd seen in the nine years he's been working. Two days ago we ate in my favoured restaurant, Pon's, in Terminal 21- forgive me if you've already read this in another forum- and it was almost full at 1700.The mall as a whole was heaving with customers. But here's the rub; I seemed to be the only non-Asian customer there. My partner claimed to have spotted another falang in a restaurant...but I didn't. As our taxi took us back along Beach Road, we reminisced about our first trips to Pattaya....1995 for me, 2001 for him....and how we were astonished by a dizzying array of lady bars from the Dusit to Walking street, and little else. All but a couple have been replaced by high-end hotels and restaurants. And they are overwhelmingly for Asian visitors. As we approached the rad to Jomtien, the scene was darker, quieter , more down-market, a remnant of the old Pattaya. but without the crowds.

Two nights ago, as previously mentioned, Pattaya's T21 was packed. I can't have been the only non-Asian visitor.....but it certainly looked like it.

Yes. My neighbour's son is in his early twenties and gay. Three years ago he visited Thailand for the first time with his boyfriend. His choices of places to stay were significant; Bangkok for the clubs, not Patpong.. Islands for the parties, not Pattaya. And Chiang Mai for sight-seeing.

A couple of visits ago, I found myself in conversation with a guy from my country who had been a regular since the early 2000s. Like many, he'd originally been drawn here by the bars and the opportunities for meeting go- go dancers. Now, he said, he no longer visits bars; he has no interest in ladyboy shows, nor muscle-guys generally and the twink-bars he favoured barely survive. Many haven't of course. So why still come? he says that Bangkok has remained a thrilling , if exasperating city, while Pattaya is hugely-improved. He loves the dining opportunities, the vibrant malls and appreciates the ease of travel from BKK. OK, and the "sanuk" I asked? Apps. Instead of meeting guys in the evening, he meets them in afternoons. Yes, some turn-out to be duds, but we all remember the offed-guy who was fun and tactile in the bar and a cold fish in bed. His benign view of Thailand corresponds with mine, if for different reasons. The last time my partner and I visited a bar was at least twelve years ago and that was to see an old friend.Times had already begun to change. I recall Jim Lumsden saying this to me in Ambiance a couple of years before his departure. He saw the apps as the defining factor; I think there's more to it than that. Nevertheless, our community is changing too. Our overall numbers in Thailand may decline, the age-range may change, but there will still be enough to draw us here, both those with and those without LTRs.

I'd be interested to hear whether the lady-bars are suffering from the same customer shortages. My LHR-BKK passenger lists were once fifty percent or more of single men. Now- and I don't mean just this low season -we are in a very small minority. Perhaps it doesn't matter; it most certainly doesn't impinge on our enjoyment. We find Thailand as welcoming as ever, but it may be that the scene may need to cater for couples as much as for singles looking for company. By the way, and this is merely anecdotal, my impression is that there are more, or perhaps more visible, female couples than before.

One Thailand tourist area that seems to be booming is the north-end of Pattaya Beach Road. We ate in T21 yesterday; the place was heaving and our favourite restaurant, which I'm always raving about, Pon's, was almost full at 1730. Outside, we were unable to find a taxi and had to walk to Big C to get one back to the hotel. I'm coming to the sad conclusion that it may not be tourists who are in short supply so much as tourists like us.

I suspect that "failed businesses" deserves its own thread. How many of us have subsidized one?

The Jomtien Complex was even darker, predictably. Not that it has been humming with activity since we arrived. One experienced worker , who has been plying his trade successfully for five years plus, told me that this was the leanest period he'd experienced.

Thirty years ago, a few months after finally expressing my sexuality following years of denial, I began experimenting with London rent-boys with limited satisfaction. And I then heard about the Amsterdam scene, a scene in which I could maintain my privacy and explore its "houses of boys". In one of them, Blue Boy, near the end of my one hour allotted time my partner and I had a few minutes before the inevitable phone call would end the encounter. He told me about Pattaya. Intrigued, I explored the travel section in Foyles, London and found a guide; "Thai Scene "by MIchael Nottcut. I immediately booked a stay at the Royal Garden Hotel and, if you can forgive the cliche, my life changed. I began by travelling here for that summer vacation. I was able to add further trips, two of which were for only five nights owing to work commitments: I was more resilient in those days. Pattaya had become so important to me that I decided to take early retirement. Three or four trips a year ensued. Once there were five. For nine years I revelled in the freedom and the sheer excitement of the butterfly-scene. Older posters will remember the lure of the Boyztown of that period. Then my life changed again, totally unexpectedly, and I met someone. I had my doubts; my intention had been to continue my easy life of one or two night stands, responsibility -free, playing the field, different guys, new experiences. That was in 2004 and since then, one person and one place has dominated my life. Twice I have been close to relocation and twice I have decided to continue to be a traveler not a resident; I remain a Londoner. I wonder; can other Pattaya-lovers on this forum recall why, when and how they "found" our city? What was it that called them back, again and again? or perhaps, they made the decision to remain here, unlike me? I recall that Amsterdam meeting in Blue Boy as though it were yesterday. A handsome Black British guy in the space of five minutes changed my life with a few causal remarks to waste five minutes. And he'll never know how important it has been to me.

.....and the pricing? And what about the Pets' Hotel ( is that the correct name?) next door. Any information? It's reassuring to see the vacant sites being filled. The new Indian restaurant in the same location apparently has yet to open. Many changes. The launderette that was next to Agate has gone and a massage joint has returned. How many launderettes are now located within two hundred meters? six? Why the sudden increase?

Yes....thanks. David and a mate did a drag-act there. In fact , the first time I met him he was in full drag, something I found rather alarming - not my cup of tea- but I later found him to be a good guy. He was one of that generation that built Boyztown and the Pattaya scene generally after the earlier work of the likes of Jim Lumsden and Michael Burchill. It is right that they should be remembered on this forum.

Wasn't "David in Pattaya" the same David that ran a small bar near (not in) Sunee. Soi Yensabai? And then later Oscars in Boyztown? A nice guy, I recall; and also a performer. He was extremely kind to an American friend of mine who lived nearby and suffered a very cruel illness in the last months of his life. If so, he passed away about seven years ago.

One of my most amusing memories was of being in a Sunee beer bar when word got around that the police were on the way. The doors of the go-go bars- I particularly remember Sundance- were suddenly flung open and the dancers rushed-out, some struggling to put on their trousers as they ran down the soi. Not an easy task. It was like a scene from a French farce. The police never arrived.

I recall Spartacus providing a warning attached to some entries.... "older guys not welcome here." One of the great things about Thailand's section is that it seldom appeared there. If at all.

For me it was MIchael Notcutt's "Thai Scene." Not only listings, including Chiang Mai, but sensible advice on offing and on Thai culture. And a cute guy on the cover.

In Pattaya, where the bars are closer together and the guys live nearby and often socialise after hours, a "bad" falang quickly wins an unenviable reputation, one which follows him from bar to bar. No mamasan would force a guy to accept an off from such a customer. At the same time, and I've said this before, if you speak to ex- bar boys who enjoyed long careers in their profession, you will likely hear very positive reviews of how they were treated.

Apologies.

If you read Michael J. Burchill's book on the early days of the Pattaya gay scene ("Boyztown 1982- 2006"), you can understand just how important farang bar-owners have been in the development of the scene. We have a lot to thank Jim Lumsden, Michael himself and a few others for all that we have enjoyed over the years.

PeterRS's post astounded me; it's almost as if we were in that bar together, that same night. In fact, I was going to post a similar comment but decided not to add to my existing one. Yes, I too was furious when I saw this happening because that night I was in the market. Furthermore, the guy smoked a cigarette, the smoke of which in that small room was impossible to escape. And yes, I learnt (I think from one of the guys, I assume) that he was an owner. Dame Edna would have described a shared memory such as this as "spooky". Perhaps we were the "two customers"?