numazu

Jasper questions: If you can find DTG, sure by all means take him shopping. You might have better luck than me for him to say "yes please". It was all "too expensive" for me . I just have one heart: one big heart with space for many . I try to keep it full whenever I am in Thailand.

As you saw in my trip report, I was with a "boyfriend" in Boyzboyzboyz and we were both treated and entertained by the bar. Toy Boys was also a success for us, a pair. Xboys I was with a boy in the past as well and didn't matter if we were a couple. I think you will be fine with any of the bars in Pattaya.

Day 19 to present: Epilogue I wanted to wrap up the trip report by thanking everyone for the kind words left here as replies, or left as private messages in my inbox. I apologize if I cannot answer every message, but if you want to try to ask me again, I’ll try to answer your question. It is amazing that this thread has reached 20,000+ views as I write this. Has this thread really been clicked on that many times? While I did not write this for you (I wrote this for myself), it’s always nice to know someone out there is reading my crap. From the PMs I’ve received. I know some of you want to meet DTG or CB or even Xboy Guy. All I can say is I respect their privacy and don’t want them harassed. Possibly my main reticence is that I have been very personal with my experiences with the boys, and the last thing I want to happen is for a customer to expect the same treatment from the boys, the way they treated me, and then get harassed if they do something else. Maybe I am overly paranoid, but like I said numerous times that I am very protective of the boys, and vinapu is probably right when saying that me exposing them here may give them a lot of customer traffic, but they are popular boys anyway so maybe I am not too worried about that for now. A handful of you even told me they have met these boys. I am glad you were treated with as much respect and fun by them as I was. So I endured the 15+ hours to get from Bangkok to California, with a layover in Hong Kong. Flying Business Class meant I had the comfort to relax more in a bigger space and take stock of what happened. I had my laptop with me in my backpack so I was able to knock out a few chapters of the trip report. With thoughts still brimming in my head I was able to complete the last day, Day 18, as a first one completed in the 2+ hour flight to Hong Kong. With the experience fresh and just hours behind me, I was visibly crying while I typed it. I didn’t care. I had to take out a few items that didn’t make sense to the whole piece, but the overall feelings are there. And putting my thoughts into paper actually made my feelings for CB more real. On and on in my head I thought, why was I leaving him? Can I really chart a future with him? What about my BF? I then write a chapter about DTG. Memories of how awesome he was come rushing in my head. I write how handsome he is, how smart he is, and how considerate he is. I slowly calm down from my CB haze. OK, this is just how its gonna be. I will fall in love with as many boys as I can that I develop deep connections with. Maybe I will not leave my BF. Maybe this is just a Thailand thing. Maybe when I see my BF’s familiar towering frame, smiling from ear-to-ear, and an expression that says “You’re home!”, I know where I truly belong. Hong Kong Aiport, as I wrote earlier, is like a shopping mall, so my layovers in this giant airport is like going window shopping. I love the business class lounge of Cathay Pacific. I especially love the noodle bar. I have my fill of alcoholic drinks and food, and my thoughts filled with boys and sex, so I sit back and continue on writing the trip reports. Pretty soon it was time to board my long haul flight. Business Class is always fun, and the 13 or so hours in the air is not as bad if you have a full reclining seat. I type some chapters of the trip report for a while before it felt like work. I take a break and get fed a very elaborate meal. After that I decide to enjoy the amenities my seat had, and just watch a movie. I pop in some sleeping pills, put on the available ear plugs and eye mask, recline my seat fully, and get a peaceful slumber. I dream about boys the whole way home. As with my first trip report, I will attempt to summarize my haul: Primary Goal: Be a butterfly – partially met. I was able to meet a lot of boys, but got distracted by two excellent boys, thus offing them multiple nights. B+ Secondary Goal: Have a threesome – success. Although the first one was a success, succeeding attempts were failures. A- Tertiary Goal: Get some tailored suits and shirts – success. I have had the chance to wear the tailored items at work for a month now and they just show the quality and craftsmanship of the tailors at AMAA Tailors in Pattaya. A+ New guys met: 6 - Boy, DTG (3 times), Tong (twice), Toy Boy Thai Guy, KB, TBoy Previous guys met: 2 - Xboy Guy, CB (6 times) Bonus item – If I was butterfly, I could’ve met: 12 (so sad, I could’ve had at least 12 boys if I were a butterfly everyday) Best app hookup: that Filipino guy but this was in Hong Kong Worst app hookup: N/A Best bar experience: Jomtien bar Worst bar experience: Hot Male (because the non-Thais were gone, the bar is actually nice, please go!) Most visited bar: Tawan Bar I wish I visited more: Xboys Pattaya, I did not have the chance to go at all Bar I need to visit again: Jupiter, and I need to off someone in particular (this is for that member who PM’ed me, thank you sir for the tip) Best hotel: that Soi 3 condo Worst hotel: that Pattaya condo, but really, both were excellent. Just had no choice but to put something here Fell in love: 3 times (Xboy Guy, DTG, CB) Hated the Guy: Soda from Tawan, did not off him, but my friend did. Biggest surprise: CB giving me that wooden figurine that sits proudly on my office desk, CB more confident, CB more lovable, Xboy Guy breaking my heart, Jomtien fun… OK a lot of surprises. But the figurine wins. Same same: Airports suck Best sex: CB, that last night Best boyfriend experience: DTG, that first night Best conversation: DTG, about everything This were my awards last February, for comparison: I had plenty of fun writing these reports. As paulsf has told me, this is a form of therapy for me. And its true. It has allowed me to gain the gift of perspective about what happened to me those two magical weeks. It has made me realize what I want out of Thailand. And it makes me want to go for more. Since now I have had many requests to write about my next trip, maybe I will. As a starter rule, I thought I would write about every other trip. Every trip I have in Thailand has an element of sex in it, but not every trip has anything to do with the sex industry. Last April was a sightseeing trip, and hung out with BF and then Myanmar Boy the whole time, so it would not be as exciting to write about as this trip. My next trip is in September, for about 9 nights, and again it is more a sightseeing trip as well, with just one guy the whole time. Maybe I’ll write about it. We will just have to see. Maybe there will be more than guy. Maybe I just cancelled my one-bedroom AirBNB condo to get a three-bedroom AirBNB condo. It may be a bigger condo to house more than one boy. We shall see. I get to LAX, and as expected, the real love of my life is waiting for me. He hugs me and kisses me in the cheek; he takes my luggage cart, and asks me if I had a good flight. I tell him Business Class is awesome. And then he tells me what was going on at work and with our friends. And that was it. No questions about Thailand, how many boys I got, how much money I spent. He doesn’t ask. I think he doesn’t want to know. He just loves that I am back, and we can go about our lives like Thailand never happened. That Xboy Guy did not break my heart. That DTG fixed it back up and lifted me up. That CB made me whole and dared me to dream about a forever with him. This is why I write about it. I can’t tell my BF, my friends, or my family. They won’t understand why I do the things I do in Bangkok. But you do, right? Thank you for understanding. You’ve been great. I get home and start the tedious task of unpacking from an international flight. As I get settled in the house, and start unpacking my suitcase, I take out the contents of my pocket. I have these items in one of the big pockets in my cargo shorts: A condom wrapper, an unused premium lane ticket, the G’s German-Thai Restaurant owner’s business card, some leftover baht, and a flyer from Tawan - Think of happiness, think of Thailand.

When CB tells me these stories, it's not couched as "Thai people are bad" or "Thai people only do this." Its more in the general concern of wanting me to be careful with other strangers. He is full of tips when I am with him. From bargaining at the shops, taking cabs and mocys and Baht buses, and even seeing money boys. The number one thing he tells me is "Please do not die." when I tell him in Line I am offing someone else or taking a plane ride. He knows I am a butterfly, and does not stop me getting other boys. Getting him to be in a threesome with said boys is another matter. CB is unnecessarily protective of me sometimes. CB has a panoply of things he tells me when he shares about some insider money boy stuff. I always tell him I am fascinated by knowing some of the things boys do, the stuff boys say, to get as much money from us. I encourage him to tell me this stories. I am sure he talks shop sometimes with his cohorts, and while I know that the boys he knows are not scammers, some of them have been around the block many times enough to see some of these in action. YMMV. Very true. Another fascinating thing to observe whenever I have intermingling between Thai boys and other SE asian boys. DTG is shocked (surprised with facial expressions) whenever I tell him about the boys I have had good relations with. I tell him about Xboy Guy, and then about Myanmar guy, and then he met CB. He is shocked that I liked a Burmese guy a lot, and when he met CB he then again made the mention of him being Khmer. With CB being prejudiced against Thais and Myanmar boy and CB hating being mistaken as Thai (to the point of tears sometimes), there is obvious inter-country tension between the three nations. I just want all of them to get along. Maybe not in threesomes haha. Although that would be great as well.

Day 18: Me No Like Airports I hate airports. There is nothing about airports that makes me want to go spend any time in them. Maybe it’s the bad fluorescent lighting. Maybe it’s the zillions of people carrying god-knows-what from the smorgasbord of countries they come from. Maybe it’s the tedious security checkpoints that are full of overzealous security agents, invading your privacy, or make you late for your flight. Maybe it’s the overpriced food, overpriced souvenirs, overpriced water. Maybe it’s the clusterfuck that is the boarding procedure before getting on your flight. It could be a lot of things. It’s actually none of these things. I hate airports because it is a place for goodbyes. And the one thing I hate the most is saying goodbye. I always hated leaving home to go to college and having to say goodbye to my mom at our home airport. The first time I said goodbye at an airport to go to college, my mom could not even speak. She just could not believe that her baby boy is all grown up, now moved out of the house, living in a city hundreds of miles away, and charting his own life and destiny without her. It broke my heart seeing her like this for the first time. But I had to be strong for the both of us. This was the start of my hatred of airports. It’s the place where you say goodbye. I was saying goodbye to Cambodia Boy (CB) today. I have grown close to CB these past few days. I’ve said goodbye to him before, 3 times before to be exact, but this particular goodbye is the hardest. As I have said in a previous post, before this trip, he had the unenviable pressure of providing for his family and paying down their debt. Now he is free of this familial obligation, and is beginning to chart a course for his future. As a result, he is now more confident, more engaged, and free to love and cry and just be a boy with me. I like this latest iteration of CB, and excited in meeting the man he is starting to become because of this newfound freedom. I have grown accustomed to his body, his smells, his attitude, his voice and his laughter. I am used to waking up to him, to cuddling with him, to looking at him, to hugging him, and to kissing him. I have looked forward to eating with him, walking with him, holding hands with him, laughing with him, and crying with him. I have become used to seeing the world with him, talking about the world with him, and experiencing the world with him. Simply, I have grown to love him. And now, it is time to say goodbye. Last night, after our love making, I did my best to pack all my stuff in my suitcases. He did the same, carefully folding his clothes in his duffle bag. When we were done he takes out a figurine from his bag. It is a small wooden carving of an animal (not gonna say what). I recognized where it came from. It was from one of the street vendors in Pattaya, in the courtyard near the Aya Hotel. I bought him a wooden figurine for from that vendor before. I forgot what it was I bought him, but I did mention to him that time that the craftsmanship from this vendor was pretty good. He says it was a gift for me. I take the figurine and hug it, tearing up a bit, and the smiling at him. I’m not only accepting a token of appreciation from him, it’s also evidence of how much our past experiences has meant to him. He was thoughtful enough to give me a gift as thanks, but more than that, he was considerate enough to remember a moment in time between us, a moment we shared in our brief time together. He has just raised the stakes. It has just become that much more difficult to say goodbye. So the alarm wakes us up at 8 AM. I hug him tightly and kiss his back. He is still sound asleep. I go to the bathroom and clean up. I quickly dress and wake him up. He can barely open his eyes right now. Creatures of the night are not used to seeing the morning. I remind him that we have to go to the airport in a few hours. He smiles and purses his lips, asking for a kiss. I kiss him in the lips, the cheek, the neck. He sits up, then stands up to go to the bathroom. I hear peeing, then water, then the shower. I try to tidy up the condo. He emerges from the bathroom in a towel. He takes off the towel and starts putting clothes on. He then takes all his bathroom stuff and puts them in his bag. I do the same for my own bathroom stuff. Once we have finished packing, I tell him we have some time to have breakfast. We head to the familiar Foodland Patpong to get our cheap and quick breakfast. On the walk over there, we were quiet. I was too distracted to think about anything to say. I had a 15+ hour flight ahead of me. I was leaving Bangkok. I was leaving him. We get to the restaurant and I get the usual sacrilegious American breakfast. He gets the same thing and orders fried rice for the both of us to share. The order gets in quick (always in this place), and we devour the food. He breaks the ice, saying that he was not sure how he can get from Suvarnabhumi back to Pattaya. I ask him he has not flown to Bangkok from Phnom Penh? He says he only has taken the bus. I google “airport to Pattaya” and find that there is a bus service at the ground floor of the airport. I tell CB that he can take this. I tell him after I check in my luggage I will take him to the bus counter to buy the ticket. He says he can do this by himself and I do not have to go with him. I tell him I want to know he is safe. He says I care for him a lot. I pay up (450 baht) and we get back to the condo. Everything is packed except for the wooden figurine he gave me. I put it in my backpack as part of my carry-on. Cargo this precious cannot be trusted in check-in luggage. I intend to cherish this forever. I text the owner of the condo telling him I am checking out and will be leaving the key in the mailbox near the lobby downstairs. I do a last check of all the rooms in the condo. No worries about a little bit of trash on the floor, but wanted the condo to not look like a disaster area before I left. I leave the unused water bottles in the refrigerator, as I am sure the next tenant will have some use for this. I turn off both aircon units and turn off all the lights. As I farewell gesture, and still in the privacy of the condo, I walk over to the standing CB and hug him deeply. I take his face and give him a deep kiss. I know I will be saying my final goodbyes in the airport, but I thought I’d give him a more thoughtful one in the privacy of the condo. I look at him in the eyes and tell him that I had a wonderful time, and I thank him for everything. I wished him to be always safe and keep in touch. I ask him when he would want his tip. He said it doesn’t matter, I can give it to him in the airport. I kiss him deeply one last time. I then take my backpack and a duffel bag, CB takes my roller bag and his duffel bag, and we are on our way out. At the lobby I drop off the keys, take a pic of the mailbox, send it to the condo owner, and let him know that I am leaving. We then try to get a taxi in front of the condo. We hail one, he does not want to go the airport. Another one, again, he did not want to go to the airport. Third one, I let CB hail the taxi, this one accepts, and quotes 400 baht to the airport without the meter, and we pay the highway tolls. I accept. I’ve been quoted 500 baht before leaving the Crowne Plaza, inclusive of toll fees, so this taxi was a little bit cheaper. We get our big bags put in the trunk and we settle in the back. The taxi driver is middle-aged, and was fairly quiet during the ride. CB and I were quiet as well, lost in our own thoughts, probably thinking about the moments after saying goodbye at the airport, going about our own journeys home, and our own lives away from each other. There wasn’t a lot of traffic today, at 11 AM on a Monday morning. The taxi cruelly gets to the airport in record time. My hatred of airports intensifies getting to the curb. We get up from the car and collect our things. I fish out 400 baht from my dwindling baht collection in my wallet. We get a luggage cart that was at the curb and CB takes the cart and wheels it in the airport. We find the counters of my airline and my flight and see a line at the economy section. Thankfully I got upgraded to Business Class two days before my flight, so we just slide in the premium line. I hand over my passport, load up my two big bags on the scale, get my passport and boarding pass back, plus the fast track ticket to be able to line up at the premium lanes, and I am on my way. It is still 2.5 hours before my flight, so it was plenty of time to take CB to the ground level to help him get a ticket back to Pattaya. We get to Level 1 and we see a counter that has a bus going to Pattaya with a stop close to the Jomtien area for 120 baht (or 150 baht, I don’t remember). I happily pay and ask the person in the counter what time was the next bus. He said there was a bus leaving in 30 minutes but it was full. We have to wait for the next bus, which is leaving an hour after this first bus. I ask CB if this was OK, he said yes, it’s cheaper than taking a taxi. We sit down in the seats close to the counter. I finally give him his tip. As a Jomtien boy, we have come up with an appropriate fee of long time with him of about 2000 baht a night. I have seen him for about 6 days so I give him 12,000 baht. But I was not done. Since he is Cambodian and have dual currency in his country, I give him an additional $200 in 2 hundred dollar bills (the new ones). I usually use the ATM to get my Baht, but have a reservoir of ($100) dollar bills with me in case my ATM (and my backup ATM) does not work. You cannot be too careful. So this ups his tip a bit to about 3000+ baht a night, more like a Bangkok long time tip. This is the most I have given him ever, but I felt that he deserved it. I wanted him to enjoy his newfound freedom and start fresh and new. Its kind of strange that I would pay CB one prevailing rate appropriate for Pattaya boys, and DTG another prevailing rate appropriate for Bangkok boys, but they both have given me the same kind of service, the same intensity, the same results, and definitely the same quality, albeit in different ways. So I felt good about paying them the same. I feel it was only fair, even if for CB, it won’t matter to him as much about how fair this is. To him, it is more money and that is more important. When I give him the $200 I tell him this is because of what he did. I tell him he has taken care of me more this time, and I felt that he deserved this. I tell him I won’t always give him this much money, but right now, I think it is appropriate. He takes it and tears up a bit. He thanks me and hugs me, and says he will miss me. I take his hand and tell him to take care of himself. I tell him to message me everyday, even to just say hi, so I know he is safe. He promises and pockets his bounty in one of his front pockets. I sit with him for about 30 minutes, just keeping him company, and not saying much except to look at each other and ask if the other was OK. I think we have said what we needed to say last night, and what’s left is just the horrible task of saying goodbye. When it was time, I get up, hug him chastely, and say goodbye. While I walk away I look back one last time and I see him looking at me as I walk away. I then continue walking to the elevator as it takes me away from him. I try not to look at him one more time. I speed through the fast lane lines for immigration, get that familiar stamp in my passport, and pretty soon I am in the main hall of the airport. When I see this wonderfully impressive display of Thai culture, I know I am leaving this wonderful country: Did I tell you I hate airports? It takes me away from the ones I love, the ones I cannot stay with permanently, because I have chosen to live a life separate from them. I love them with all my heart, but circumstances and choices find me saying goodbye to them anyway. They know the reason why I have to say goodbye, even though they may hate it. I definitely know the reason why I have to say goodbye, and I definitely hate it.

I want to wrap up my trip report, and I think I have a couple of posts left. But I kind of want to see where this argument goes to. It might be more interesting than my posts.

Answering some Day 17.4 stuff: LOL. Was that alluding to something nefarious that goes on at Thai colleges? Please do tell. I have often convoluted conversations with CB and DTG about what extra things we can do other than just staying at the condo or eating at a restaurant. We get into conversations about doing some travel outside Bangkok, and then we think about going to Chiang Mai or Phuket, and then it turns into going to Singapore or Japan, and then we think about Universal Studios or Disneyland. And then they stop and think what they are going to say next and they stop. And then tell me (1) forget about it, (2) its a lot of money and (3) they'd rather have the money. It's obvious that they want to all these awesome things, and I would love to give it to them, but they become practical about it and we just don't do it. CB can spot a fake a mile away. Don't ask me how. Yes, this is the point for me. I am ultimately spending money on myself, and it makes me feel good spending money on him. It makes me feel good that my boys are well-fed and looking good. I always give them the receipt with the purchase. I want them to have the choice of exchanging the clothing item if they feel they need something else. Not sure if you can get cash for a purchase made by my credit card. But if they can and they return the item and get cash for it, I don't care. It's their gift. If they keep it forever, return it for cash, sell it to a friend, or give it away to a family member, it doesn't matter to me. They got some use for it, and it made me feel good in the moment. They've already paid me back through companionship and amazing sex, so I shouldn't complain about what they do. Holy fuck this is a lot of money. Its like offing 5-7 Pattaya boys.

I can delve into it deeper later when I am off work, but I am a little bit surprised by some of the reaction to the post. Here I thought the post was a (final) love letter to the three great boys I came across that day (two Thais and a Khmer), a 24-paragraph ode to how amazing this place is, and how fortunate I am to get to come here. Instead the one paragraph I have about something that didn't even happen to me got the attention. It even spawned a spin off post. What have I wrought? Scams happen all over, including here back home, the supposed richest country in the world. Being aware of it and sharing it to a willing audience does not mean a blanket judgement on the whole people. I don't tell my friends that all French people are scam artists just because my BF got scammed on the Champs-Elysees in broad daylight, but that anecdote I do tell them so they can make informed decisions when they find themselves in Paris. I always choose to focus on the goodness in all people, because the alternative just sucks. Apologies if you think me sharing one anecdote showed that Thai people are bad. I think my diary and experiences have proven just the exact opposite. I fucking love this place!

Day 17.8: The Space Between Dream Boy Thai Guy (DTG) and I head over to the elevator. My time with him this trip has ended. I make a promise to him to see him again next trip. He says he will wait for me. He tells me he will try to make as much money as he can till the end of the year, and then possibly look for a day job. Dream Boy will still be an option for him to make some extra money. I lament that I may not see him again if he decides to quit being a money boy. He tells me that he wishes that our relationship is not of customer and money boy, but as friends. He understands that this is what he does, but he wishes that I do not stress this fact too much. I tell him I won’t use those words to describe our relationship ever again. I get back to the room and see Cambodia Boy (CB), the amazingly complex money boy, on my computer playing music videos. I tell CB to relax for a bit before heading out for dinner. I promised him a good last night alone, tonight, together, without any other boys, threesomes, or awkward sleeping situations. I’ve seen CB in past trips, and this is probably the 4th trip I’ve seen him, and all 4 trips I’ve seen him on multiple days. He is a Jomtien boy, so off fees are never an issue. And since he is a Pattaya boy, he is one-third to a half cheaper than Bangkok boys. But this is not why I off him so often. In fact, just typing it now, it’s the first time I think I realized that I am saving some money by offing him instead of BKK boys. Apart from being gorgeous, having an amazing body, a perfect butt, respectable cock, and eyes that will just melt your heart, I like him because he is brutally honest with me. The first time I was with him, we were both shy and unsure and it was just a normal customer-boy transaction. Once I was sure of my affection for him, I wanted to get to know him more, and got way more than what I bargained for. I’ve shared about his tales of soul-crushing poverty, about his family, and about his experiences with other customers. What I haven’t shared is his (slight) disdain for Thai people, even if they account for probably a third of his customer base. He rarely has any white farang customers (his choice), and gets offed often by Chinese, Japanese or Thais (and sometimes the odd Malaysian or Korean). His disdain is normally towards Thai working boys. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But sometimes out of the blue he asks about recent offs I’ve had, and whenever it was a Thai off, he would warn me to be wary of Thai boys. He thinks they will try to milk me of my money through nefarious means. For example he has warned me about a certain "cellphone scam", which is similar to the "jet ski scam" in Pattaya. He said certain “evil Thai boys” will bring with them an already broken phone to an off. At some point during the off, said Thai boy will put his cellphone near the edge of the bed, hoping that the customer will knock it off the bed. Since the cellphone is already broken, it will shatter or break when it hits the ground. Guilty customer will of course offer to replace said phone, thus completing the scam. He has a number of stories like this, to my delight and horror. So maybe his disdain for Thai working boys extended to DTG, probably a mixture of having a prejudice against Thai boys, and my obvious affection for DTG. He goes to me and asks me if I loved DTG. I tell him no but I let him know that I like DTG a lot because he is not like any other money boy I’ve met. This was a mistake telling him this, because he asks me if I don’t like him anymore. He says he was jealous because I am able to talk to DTG about fairly complex things and DTG is able to understand and comprehend whatever I throw at him. He says he is “stupid boy” and can not compete with DTG. So I do what I normally do when CB gets into these self-pitying spirals, like when he shared about how helpless he is when he told me months ago that he needed to come up with a lot of money to pay down his parent’s debt (which he was successful in paying off), or when he shared about his tragic childhood and being left in the street to fend for himself (which he was able to survive and come out of): I lay him down the bed, wiping the tears off his eyes (there is always tears), and look him in the eye. And with my best smile, I tell him how happy he makes me feel. I tell him he is a great guy with a lot to offer. I tell him he is smart and I learn a lot from him. Hugging him always helps. I remind him that he is probably the boy I see most often in Thailand. I tell him I see a lot of boys, and I am a butterfly, but I also want him with me a lot. I tell him I will continue to be a butterfly and see a lot of boys. But I will always try to see him, because I like him. I tell him I cannot be his boyfriend, but I can be the next best thing: a good friend. I hug him deeply, and we cuddle in bed, fully clothed. No pretense of sex. Just another opportunity to connect, to deepen our bond to each other. I know how strong he is and how cunning he can become with his customers. But he lets himself be vulnerable around me. He lets the floodgates often because I want him to. He is my catharsis, and I want him to be mine. Of course the cynic in me, in all of us, would think that this display of pity and vulnerability, and the tears that are free-flowing, is another ploy to get more money. If I pity him, I will give him more money. Maybe it is a ploy, another scheme that the predatory money boy has in their arsenal of weapons to squeeze every dollar out of our wallets. Naive or not, I don’t think this is the case. As that famous quote by Maya Angelou says “If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” We cuddle like this for a few minutes and then we decide to have dinner. We shower and then start dressing up for the night. I wear my long jeans again, for his benefit, because he has said he liked how I looked in long pants. I wear one of the H&M shirts that I bought. He wears the long sleeve shirt and pants I just bought him. I hug him and tell him he looked beautiful tonight. He gives me this genuine smile that tells me the worst is over. He knows I am only his tonight. I will try to keep it that way. I decide to go to Mango Tree because I had a blast the last time I was there. It was with DTG that last time. It is 8:30 PM when we get there. We order some seafood, and some festive alcoholic drinks. We laugh and talk about our day. I feel a slight twinge of sadness because this is my last night, but I push them away to force myself to live in the moment. I know he is also thinking this, and tonight’s melancholic episode may have something to do with that, so I try to be happy and smiling, because I know he is making an effort as well. I hold his hand most of the meal. We share everything family style, just the way he always likes it. He takes some pictures and posts them on his Facebook. We finish dinner around 10 PM. I ask him where he wants to go next. He, of course, tells me “up to you.” I tell him, NO, this is our night. What would you like for us to do? He again says “up to you.” We go like this a few more times, and then he says “OK, I know you. Lets go gogo bar. I know u like look boy.” I was kind of surprised by this choice and I tell him that this was not necessary. He continues to insist though, telling me that it was my last night and I wont be able to see gogo bars when I go home. I ask him is he was really sure. He said we should go now. We get on Surawong Rd and head over to Soi Twilight. Its starting to rain, so its time to be indoors. I decided against going to Dream Boy in fear of seeing DTG again. I decide on Hot Male. Actually it was forced upon me. They have very very forceful touts outside of Hot Male who literally drag you into their bar. Actually I had some willpower to resist the touts, but CB did not, and was carried away by the touts to Hot Male. I chased them down into the bar. There were probably about 10 people in the bar tonight. Does this bar ever fill up? I’d hate for this bar to close because of poor attendance. Does Dream Boy just suck the oxygen out of every other bar here on the Soi? Anyway, we get seated at the front, and immediately get asked for our drink orders. We both get beers. We survey the boys onstage. Everyone was in briefs. It was a better selection today, though I still miss the Viets. CB tells me that he doesn’t find anyone attractive. I actually see one boy who is very cute. He looks a little bit Viet. The boy catches me looking at him, and he smiles at me. He is very lean, and he has no fat whatsoever in his body. He could be classified as a twink except that he has a little bit more muscle than the average twink, and has a complete set of abs. His pencil-thin mustache makes him look like in his mid-20s, but I am sure if he shaves it off it’ll make him look bordering on barely legal. CB catches me staring at the boy. He asks me if I like him, I say yes, he is cute. He then asks me if I want to off him. I say not really. Maybe just ask him to have drink with me. Is that OK? CB says of course, and raises his hand to call on the boy. I kind of like CB taking matters into his own hands sometimes. The boy sits right next to me and immediately cozies up to me. He smiles and looks very friendly. He tells me his name and then talks to me in Thai. I say what and he says he thought I was Thai. I tell him I get that a lot, and I assure him I was born in the U.S. He then asks what my heritage is. I tell him and he finds it funny. He points to my face and tells me I look like I am from Chiang Mai. I tell him I’ve heard this numerous times before, and tell him usually people think my looks land me somewhere in Northern Thailand/Northern Vietnam/Southern China. I then tell him he also looks like he is from Chiang Mai. He tells me he is from Isaan, but one of his grandmothers is Viet, that is why he looks kind of Viet. Of course I pick the guy in the bar with a hint of Viet. He is animated and looks me in the eye when he talks to me. I look at his physical presence up and down. He is very sexy, very smooth, with just a hint of treasure trail from his belly button to his underwear. His body, very lean, but with just the right amount of muscle to hold my attention. I put a hand on his thigh, and I feel his warm body pressing against my arm. He gives me a kiss in the cheek, and I get a whiff of his pleasant scent. A good mix of perfume and his own pleasing body scent. His smile is very inviting. I feel comfortable with this guy. He is handsome, very friendly, and looks genuinely engaged to talk to me. There was something very down to earth and humble about his demeanor that I felt instantly comfortable with him. If this was any other night, I would have offed him. If my instincts are right about him, he’d be one of those that will be a multiple night off, delving deeper into his background, possibly making a deep connection with him, as I endeavor to do with boys I like. Unfortunately this is not one of those nights. When I make a promise to someone, I keep it. I promised CB it was just us tonight, and it will continue to be so. So I am honest to this guy, telling him I am with CB and will not be offing him, but I hope I will see him in a future trip. He nods, and I detected a hint of disappointment, but he continues to smile despite this setback. I remain close to him while the Hot Male show comes and goes. I fish out 250 baht from my pocket and give it to him, and thank his for his time. He Wais and smiles. I hope I see him in the future. Butterfly status: Dead I simply cannot be sad about not being able to off Hot Male Guy. The butterfly in me might be dead, but maybe it’s not really who I am. I like meeting new boys, and sometimes get a lot of them, but I also like being fiercely loyal to the ones I already know, especially the ones I have made a deep connection with. Not everyone I off multiple times I develop a deep connection. Sometimes great sex is just that, great sex. But the ones I do I hold on to. So I am holding onto CB tonight. I ask him what he wants to do next. I tell him since we did something I wanted, its his turn to pick what he wanted. He thinks for a minute and tells me he just wants to talk and be close to me. I say sure, where do you want to go for that? At the condo, disco or bar? He thinks about it and chooses "bar." I motion to mamasan and pay for three drinks. I hug my Hot Male guy, say goodbye, and off we go to Soi 4. Thank goodness the rain has stopped. It’s cool enough that I don’t regret wearing long pants. We head over to Soi 4 via Patpong, holding hands the whole way. Silom is less busy tonight because of the rain. We get to Telephone Pub and get good seats. We again get beers and have a pleasant conversation about pop culture, not so pleasant conversations about the future, about my inability to commit to him, about how tired he is being a money boy, and reassuring conversations about our love for each other, about being there for each other, even if I have a BF, and him with his revolving door of lovers. This is a relationship that cannot be defined by just mere words. Best friend? Boyfriend? Lover? These words are just too limiting, or go too far. We head to the condo and make the requisite preparations to make love. And make love we did. As two boys with both the sexual appetite and the drive to create fireworks. As two lovers deeply familiar with every contour of each other's bodies and needs. And as two good friends eager to show each other another way to care. We did not make love like it was the last night of the world, but the last night for us, for now. I have pushed this relationship as far as I could without committing to be his boyfriend. We exist in the nexus between great friends and great lovers. I cannot do anything more for him. Part of me wants to. I have the means to make it happen, and I have the love that is needed to sustain it. But I simply cannot. He is not the first boy I’ve met in this magical place in between. And I doubt he will be the last. Not by a longshot.

Life is too short. Those are the four words that constantly ring in my head whenever I go on vacation, especially when I go to Thailand. Granted I count myself insanely lucky to be able to afford these vacations, it is kind of exhausting to penny pinch and micro manage every baht when you are having a good time. I have a set budget every time I go to Thailand, and 10 trips later, have yet to go over my set budget, so I've been successful in setting expectations for myself and be able to spend money within these expectations. Not every trip is a big money trip. That's when free boys on Grindr, or calling up on friends to hangout, come in. Been lucky that the boys I shop with have not asked for a big ticket expensive item. I imagine if one boy did this to me, I have no problems saying no. Boys like CB are fairly brand conscious and implicitly believe the brand name ones are superior, in looks, quality and the way they feel. He told me that people might not know the difference between the brand name and generic ones, but to him, he knows, and it gives him more confidence on how he carries himself because he knows he is wearing the real deal. Boys like DTG are more practical, and could care less about brand names, and feel it is a huge waste of money to buy them. He is aware of some quality differences but this is secondary to more pressing issues in his life. Both boys have given me a good time in Thailand, and they are so different in temperament and attitude. Variety is the spice of life. A number of posters have told me that they have met DTG just based on my description, which I admit, is pretty detailed. If I were to do this again, I may pull back some of the details more. While I really don't want the boys to be harassed because of my reports, I did find it validating that most of them more or less had a positive experience with him. If I were to guess, since DTG is a latecomer to the money boy scene, and as an adult has had full life experiences outside of Soi Twilight, including getting a college education, he has a more developed moral compass than most. It's very easy and tempting to be cynical about everything that happens in Thailand. I am probably in the more naive side of things. I have no problem with that.

Day 17.4: Retail Therapy Session Dream Boy Thai Guy (DTG), like Cambodia Boy (CB), and like a lot of money boys scraping by in Thailand, need money, and a lot of it, it seems, beyond what they need for their basic needs like food to survive and a roof over their head. They either have families that expect to get money from them (fathers, mothers, wives, etc), or dreaming of starting businesses that take them out of poverty (taxi service, t-shirt printing, tour business for example), or even saving up for the future (to buy a house back home to call their own, or enough money to go *back* to school, or even to leave BKK or Pattaya and live somewhere cheaper, or buying a mocy). It could be a combination of any or all these things. Some nefarious reasons like supporting a drug habit exist of course, as well as other reasons I can’t even fathom. So here we are, at H&M in hi-so land Siam Paragon, with prices of clothes ranging from 600 to 1000+ baht for shirts, 1000 to 2000+ baht for jeans, and more or less for shoes. Prices that seem run-of-the-mill to two-week millionaire farang, but mean life and death to the boys. DTG is seemingly frozen in time and unable to enter H&M. He looks at the prices of everything, splashed in big font sizes in signs all over the store, and is reminded of how much he needs the actual money for himself, and not to spend on frivolously overpriced hi-so clothing. He takes some steps back and looks unsure what to do next. I ask him if he was OK. He said he was but he said he has forgotten how expensive the items here are. I tell him not to worry about cost for now, let me worry about that. I make it easy on him, pointing to his simple shirt, well-worn jeans and tattered boots: you can buy some things to replace what you are wearing right now. You will probably look better in new clothing, and the better the look, the better farang will feel about being seen with you, and maybe they give you more money. He smiles at my logic. He then asks, almost apologizing, if it was OK if he gets some jeans here. I say it is fine and to ask CB if he needed help. I’ve only been once to an H&M, and this was at my last trip to Amsterdam. I messed up the t-shirt I was wearing trying to juggle coffee and an ice cream cone, while sightseeing with friends. We ducked into the closest H&M and I got myself a simple white shirt, the cheapest one I could find in the whole store. It was on sale for 6 euro. So my second time in an H&M is in Thailand, and a world away. I start my shopping slow at first, but pretty soon I find some items interesting. A t-shirt here or some shorts that look nice, pretty soon I find about 5 or 6 items on my arm, ready to go to the fitting room to try them on. CB spots me, carrying some items himself. He asks me if he could help carrying my items. I tell him I am fine, but he takes my items from me anyway and follows me around the store while I look for more. I make one more circuit around the men’s section and I tell CB I am ready to go to the fitting room. We both head there with our items to try them on. We see DTG heading out of the fitting room seemingly satisfied with the jeans that he has chosen. I tell him if he could wait so we can do some fittings. CB and I both go in adjacent fitting rooms and try our stuff. I go through my items and I hear CB say my name and ask me to come out. I put on a shirt and peek out. He is in his new pants and new shirt, looking so cute. He asks if it looks good on him. I say it is looks great. He looked very GQ. I go back to my things and decide to buy two shirts. I am the last person who needs any new clothing, but what the hell, these look good on me. I get out of my fitting room and return the 4 items I was not going to buy to the attendant. I look for DTG and he is looking at a rack of t-shirts. He sees me and hands me the pants he wants to buy. I look at the price, it is 1200 baht. Not bad I think. I bet he looks amazing in these. CB then finds us and gives me his jeans as well. Same 1200 baht. I ask him if he liked the t-shirt that he was trying on. He said no. So I take the two jeans and my two t-shirts and pay the cashier. It is 3400 baht for the whole thing. I then tell the boys we are going to Uniqlo. I am guaranteed to find something there. DTG checks the mall directory and leads us to the store. I love this store. I could easily bust my budget just getting new cute things here. And since they have Asian sizes, for my Asian body, I almost exclusively just buy my clothes in Asia, and mostly from this store. The small sizes in the US are sometimes too large for me, if not in the chest area, the length is usually too long for me. The first time I was in Hong Kong I went hog wild with the availability of cute clothes in Asian sizes. I am more measured now with the shopping, but still get one thing here and there once in a while. DTG and CB roam around the racks and displays looking for their one thing. I do a loop as well, and pick out three shirts that I like. I also pick out 2 shirts for my BF. He is a medium in America, but a large here. 20 minutes later we convene in the center of the store. CB picks up a nice long sleeved shirt that was 800 baht. DTG is empty-handed. I ask him where is your one thing? He said he is thinking about getting shoes but doesn’t think it would be right to get them. CB asks to see them, so we head over to the shoes part of the store to look at what DTG picked out. He showed us two pairs that he thought would look good on him. CB liked the high tops shoe, and commented it looks similar to what DTG was wearing now but obviously not in tatters. DTG then tells me it is too expensive. I look at the price, it is 1500 baht. I tell him it is not a problem and quite frankly he needs new shoes. DTG then hesitates, and tells me he does not want to get them. I ask him why. He hesitates again, trying to think of what to say next. CB recognizes some tension in DTG and leaves to get us some privacy. DTG and I both sit down on the benches where people sit and try on shoes, and I ask him what is the problem. He tells me that he feels guilty for spending my money. He tells me that he thinks it is a waste to buy these expensive things. He pauses and then tells me the truth: that he would rather get the money than me buying the shoes. He then apologizes for saying this but tells me this is why he rarely has customers buy him anything. It’s like our conversation a fews days ago about me taking him to Japan, and him telling me I rather give him the money I would spend on him on the vacation. I look at him and make my intentions clear. I tell him I am buying him clothes as a token of my appreciation of how good he has taken cared for me these past few weeks. I say “If you don’t want to pick an item, that’s fine. But I hope you give me this chance to thank you some other way other than giving you money. I know you will not buy anything for yourself, and everything you earn goes to someone else. So this is my way of forcing you to buy something for yourself, with my money.” He laughs at this. He then says he understands why I am doing this. I tell him I see his tattered shoes and worn pants. I want to at least do something about it. He tears up a little bit when I said this. He gets up quickly and tries to look for CB. I wait for a minute and DTG and CB get back and look at the shoes again. After a little bit of deliberation, DTG chooses the high tops and says he is done. He takes all my shirts, CB gives him his shirt, and we both go to the cashier carrying all the merchandise. When we get to the cashier there was no line. He puts all the clothes down and talks to the cashier. While the cashier rings us up, DTG chats her up. Pretty soon all the other Thais behind the counter join in the conversation. I obviously can’t follow the conversation, but it seems that they were having a good time. The cashier rings us up and looks at me and tells me the total in Thai. I get my Visa from my wallet and she says a few more things to me in Thai. I just smile. I look Thai today. DTG says something, presumably answering her question. I was not sure how much I paid at the moment, but at the airport the next day, I find the receipt of my purchase in my wallet and realized it was a little over 5000 baht, enough to get a VAT refund. I wasn’t asked by the cashier if I wanted that yellow form, and since I had my passport with me, I would’ve been able to get the refund form, and I could’ve gotten a few hundred baht back for my purchase, but it didn’t occur to me at the time of purchase. DTG takes the bag and we are done with Uniqlo. I tell the boys that we will walk to MBK so I can buy some souvenirs. We peek outside and see that it was raining, so I decided to punt on going to MBK and not walk all that way. We go instead to Exotique Thai on the fourth floor of Siam Paragon. It has the basic Thai souvenirs you can ever need, and the cost is not as bad as you would expect from a store in Siam Paragon. I buy a few things for friends and family, and it cost me half what I spent at Uniqlo. The boys rearrange all the shopping bags between them, and I didn’t even have to carry anything. I offered to take some of the bags but they did not want me to lift a finger. We queue up at the taxi line outside of Siam Paragon. The rain has thankfully stopped and the sidewalk is a little wet. It takes us a while to get to the front of the line, but thankfully we had DTG to talk to the driver and get us back to the condo. When we get to the condo DTG pays for the fare. I tell him he did not have to do that, but DTG said it was just 80 baht. Back at the room, DTG and CB take their new clothes from the bags. CB takes off his top and wears his new long sleeved shirt proudly. DTG takes off the tag from CB’s shirt. DTG then puts his new shoes and pants in one bag. CB goes to the bathroom. DTG and I sit in the couch. At this point it is almost 6 PM and DTG says that he should go so CB and I have our night together. I take 3000 baht from my wallet, as well as 650 baht for the off fee. He takes both and hugs me. DTG then asks about my plans immediately after getting back home. I tell him the truth and elaborate on my next few weeks, which will be very busy working, traveling and other things. He is intrigued by some of what I said and asks more questions about it. CB quietly comes out of the bathroom and sits down on the dining room table. DTG and I continue our conversation about my plans. He tries to understand my job and work and we continue like this for another 15 minutes. I then get up and tell DTG I will call him when I get home to keep in touch. DTG tells me to message him whenever I want and he wants to see me again next time I am in Thailand. I hug him deeply and tell CB I will escort DTG down to the lobby so he can leave. CB smiles at both of us and says goodbye to DTG. Was that smile a little bit forced? To be continued

From what I understood he visits his family for a few days in the week and maybe this is what he meant by having a kitchen. But I didn't ask him in detail. Never had a problem with boys trying out sit down restaurants with me, but then again I only get this far with the boys that get comfortable with me anyway. And about ignorance, for the longest time I never used my spoon to eat traditional Thai/asian food, being the American kid that I am. I quickly figured out its just easier to use it in tandem with a fork, especially with soupy curries and what not. There have been some cases where DTG encountered straight friends while with me, either a neighbor or a former coworker or friend. Maybe because I am younger but he didn't have a problem introducing me sometimes. There was even a time me and CB and DTG were walking on Silom and he encountered a neighbor, a Thai woman with her toddler. No problem there. Maybe its DTG particularly. And he ate a lot at Fuji when he was an office worker. I have encountered a friend (albeit gay) while being with a boy or two. If it was a family member maybe I'll have a problem, but was not at all embarrassed talking to my friends with the boys. This is one of the thing I could do better: limit eating food in more expensive restaurants. But part of me does think that it is a vacation and just like in my other vacations, with friends or family or my BF, I do not even think twice of spending money on local foodie spots. So maybe I should not think about this too much and just enjoy my 400 baht soft shell crab.

I will tell you in a future post what was CB's reasons for wanting to sleep on the couch that night. Two boys in a bed is less of a fantasy for me than having two boys to have sex with at the same time. I am a very light sleeper (and have a slight case of insomnia), and both CB and DTG, having been in the same bed with me before, know my quirks when trying to sleep. I have managed the insomnia thing fairly well in Thailand, but two boys in my bed might affect me. Having said that, I may have to try that at some point in my next trip, the way my planning is shaping up right now... #32 is a looker for sure, and I understand why my friend PNGguyBKK bought him a beer. I would consider offing him next time if given the chance. chancellor, do you have experience with him? Please tell if he is a good off or not if you have . I agree, I live for the street food in Thailand. It's not obvious last trip, as I decided to treat the boys every meal. Apart from the unfortunate choice of McDonalds that one time, I usually eat street food when I am alone, or with certain boys who insist on having it, usually after dancing or drinking. I promise anddy to buy you a $2 treat in December! About the cliff-hanger, I have to chop up these posts somehow, because this one was getting long, so why not at a period of possible conflict?

Day 17: The Morning After Today is my last full day in Thailand this trip. I’ve had 9 days like this in the past, but this one seems to be the most bittersweet. I’ve grown accustomed to my constant boy juggling, grown fond of Dream Boy Thai Guy (DTG) and Cambodia Boy (CB) and all the supporting cast, and will miss the gogo bar hopping staring at impossibly gorgeous boys. Like I said in a previous post, too much of a good thing may be a bad thing, so this fantasy vacation has to end eventually for me to retain a sense of reality and sanity. But onto the matters at hand. I wake up with a warm body next to me. For a split second, I forget who it was I was cradling. Smooth skin? Smells great? Could be anyone. My hand travels to his pecs. They are big, round and muscular. Maybe it’s a Tawan guy? My hand then travels to the abs. Six big, prominent, and round bumps. Hmmm, some of those Tawan men have big, steroid bellies. This one had abs that were naturally muscular. My hand reaches for his ass and feels his hole. Slippery and warm. I guess there’s still some lube in it from last night. He can’t be from Tawan then. I open my eyes and I see DTG sound asleep. We did not shower after sex, because DTG did not want to disturb CB in the living room, which explains the still lubed up ass. I then realize that DTG is like Tawan guy without the attitude, as much as CB is like a Jupiter boy without the difficulty. I have two boys with me looking like boys from my two favorite bars, without actually them being from there. I’ve built a connection with these two guys. I wonder if it was possible to have the same deep connections with actual Tawan or Jupiter boys. While I’ve great success offing boys that were sexually compatible with me, I haven’t had success with the deep connection part of the equation, at least with the guys I’ve been interested in offing. Maybe next time I will give other guys a try. In the meantime, these two perfectly suitable alternatives for those bars are more than enough for now. I suddenly remember that CB is in the living room. I get up carefully, put on my briefs and quietly open the door and silently tip toe into the living room. The aircon is on, but the living room is kind of warm. I see the temperature from the aircon remote, its 25 celsius. I guess CB likes a warm room. I see CB sleeping, still wearing long pants and my t-shirt from last night, splayed all over the couch. I approach him, and he stirs. I squat down to his level, trying not to wake him, but just wanted to see him sleep. He is a pretty boy, even when sleeping. His long lashes still standing out of his pretty face, his small but firm chest rising up and done with his breathing. After probably 10 minutes I hoist myself up from the squatting position. The wooden floor creaks under me when I do this (have I gotten fat). CB wakes up from the noise, and immediately looks up at me. “I’m sorry. I did not want to wake you.” He closes his eyes, and then fully opens them again, and reaches one hand to me: “Come here baby.” I sit beside him, cradling his body, putting out a hand to stroke his cheek. Did you have good sleep? I sorry you sleep here. He says “It OK. I cum a lot last night.” What? Did you have boy here? “No, I alone last night, I hear you. I chuck wow and cum a lot.” I then realized that he couldn’t have had any boys here last night because I had the condo key cards in my wallet, in order to get back into the unit if he left, or to operate the elevators, or to get back into the building. My wallet was in the bedroom with DTG and I. I felt so guilty! Not because I wasn’t part of his orgasm, but because he had to do it alone without my, or anyone’s help. I ask if he was horny last night. “Yes. But in my room I no chuck wow alone. I only chuck wow with customer. Last night can cum because I no need customer.” I understood what he wanted to say. He saves his cum for customers, so he rarely jacks off alone. Maybe its good that he can do it by himself, free from pressure from other customers, and just did it for his own happiness? Maybe its actually good he was alone, albeit listening to my and DTG’s sex sounds? I repeat the promise he made me make for him. That it was just going to be me and him tonight, my last night this trip. He smiles and replies “Thank you baby. You love me.” I put the cherry on top and tell him that I needed to shop for souvenirs for friends and family back home, so I will take him and DTG to the mall today and they can get some clothes they need. He smiles gets even bigger. I know him well. CB then says he will shower and get ready. While he does this, I go back to the bedroom and cuddle with DTG. Me going back to bed and the noise from the bathroom has woken up DTG. He looks at me and smiles, and then he realizes that there is another boy in the condo. He figures out that it is CB who was showering. He asks me if CB is OK. I tell him yes, he was fine. I tell them about CB telling me he chuck-wowed while we had sex. DTG makes a face and tells me it should be CB in the bed not him. I assured DTG everything is fine. CB and I go way back, and it’ll take more than this to affect our friendship. CB is done and emerges from the bathroom and changes in the living room. DTG asks if he could go next. He says he has lube up in his ass. I said I know, I felt it this morning. He pretends to be shocked and kisses me. I go to the living room and see CB dressing up in his usual trendy style: long sleeved blue shirt, skinny jeans and boots. I make some coffee for the group. I make two cups and give CB one. I sit with him and have some light chit-chat while DTG is getting ready. Soon it was my turn. I turn on the shower and wonder how much the condo’s owner’s water bill is going to be this month. I hurry up, fully aware that there were two gorgeous boys out there, no doubt hungry, and hopefully being friendly to each other. I come out in a towel and see CB and DTG having coffee, both fully dressed, looking at the internet in my laptop, pointing to the screen and laughing. I look to see what the hubbub was about. They’re on facebook, looking at a video. Its a series of videos of cats sitting in boxes. Cat videos are universally funny, apparently. I put on my Farang Wear™ and I take my passport with me. I am going back to DTAC at Siam Paragon to get international roaming on my Thai phone. I tell the boys we are going to go shopping at Siam Paragon. We should probably have lunch there as well (it is 1 PM). CB takes all the used coffee cups and puts them on the sink to wash later. We all check ourselves in the mirror (I look like shit compared to these boys. Oh well.) and head on out. DTG suggests we take a cab to the mall instead of taking the BTS. I read about Thai guy’s aversion to walking all the time in this forum, so this was not surprise. The BTS Sala Daeng station is only a 10 minute walk from the condo. But since the 22 baht fare to Siam station is 66 baht total for all of us, we might as well take a cab and probably pay the same price. He gets a cab in front of the condo right away, talks to the driver in Thai, DTG sits in front with CB and I in the back, and we are on our way. Thankfully not a lot of traffic today, and we get there in no time, 62 baht later. I hand DTG 80 baht, he returns 20 baht to me and adds a 5 baht coin to my 60 baht and hands it to the driver. Siam Paragon is busy on a Sunday afternoon. Lots of Thais, Asian tourists, and a sprinkling of farang in the mall. I decide to take the boys to a favorite of mine in the basement level with the food court. I’ve had good luck eating at Peppery Thai Bistro. The boys look at the menu and find items they like. So we ask for a table and the receptionist says about 10 minutes. While we wait, she asks if we can put in our order so they can work on it and not have a long wait in the table. We all pick seafood as our mains, DTG orders a salad and veggies to share. We get seated, and we get asked our drink orders. We make some small talk. CB has been to Siam Paragon just a handful of times. DTG usually finds himself in the mall once or twice a week, most probably with a customer. I ask the boys what they usually eat when customers aren’t around to foot the bill. They say the same thing: street food. DTG says he has a kitchen but doesn’t cook. He does not have the patience nor the time. CB does not have a kitchen at all. But they both say they know how to cook. Thai/Cambodian food. I tell them one day I will ask them to cook for me. They both say yes. They both will make some lucky bastard’s great husband someday. Kind of sad that it’s not me. It was never going to be me anyway. After lunch we go to DTAC to get me some international roaming. More customers today but I get to the English speaking rep pretty quickly. He asks for my passport and my phone number. After a few clicks on his computer he asks if my name was this Chinese sounding name. I said no, this is my name (Western-ish name). He shows me his computer’s screen and shows a photocopy of a Chinese passport, with a Chinese woman pictured. I tell him that is not me (obviously). He looks at my American passport. He tells me no problem. Sometimes they recycle unused numbers, and I guess my number was registered to this person before. He changes the number’s ownership to my name, and then activates the international roaming. I ask to top up my account with 1000 baht as well. He makes it happen and I get two text messages confirming the roaming and the top up. It was a quick and efficient transaction. On to the main task at hand: shopping. I was not going to buy souvenirs in Siam Paragon. It’s too hi-so for what my idea of Thai souvenirs should be. We will walk to MBK for that. But it’s perfect for clothes shopping for the boys. And while I did not need any more clothes, I will be more than happy to buy these two guys who have endured my foibles these past few weeks, the clothes they want, as a token of my appreciation. I will give them money too, don’t worry, but they wont go to these shops to buy clothes on their own dime, so I am assuming this is a treat for them. Before we continued on, I tell them the rules: they can get one thing in the store we are going to. They are OK with this. I intended on going to two stores so that’ll be two things each boy. Even if I am being generous, I’d like to be sane about it. We find the H&M first, and since this is CB’s mother ship, he darts into the store like a mad man. DTG meanwhile, is stuck at the entrance of the store. He wasn’t walking forward, just surveying the crowd inside the store. I ask him if everything was OK. He looks at me, looks at the store, and looks at me again. To be continued.

Hehe, it'd be a huge complement for me if someone asked me "how much for sex." But I get your point. Not sure if it was obvious that CB was with me (or with DTG and me) before CB went to the bathroom, but CB made sure it was obvious once he held my hand while #32 looked at us, when he told me about this. Death By Forsaken Boyfriend: sounds like the perfect title for my next chapter haha. One forum member has playfully accused me of being guilty of youthful enthusiasm (at 35, i don't know how young that is). I admit I am horribly naive at times, and any other sane person would not make the foolish decisions I have made this trip (two whiskey bottles! two boyfriends in a queen sized bed! paying for sex!), and past trips (eating gogo boy cum! punching a lady boy! offing a boy while suffering from food poisoning!), but at that time, it made total sense to make those decisions. Hey, I'm still alive to tell the tale. I only let me hair down like this 8 weeks in a year. I'm actually pretty stable and conservative back home.

Thanks guys! The feedback is greatly appreciated. When I started these trip reports, I wasn't sure how it was going to be received. But the majority of the feedback has been pretty awesome. Wasn't sure if being overly personal was the way to go. I'm glad it was the right way to go about my reports. I will endeavor to continue these, maybe every other trip so I don't get burned out. I think that my experiences are great enough that writing about them was fairly easy for me. Again, hopefully this trip report inspires others to write about their experiences as well.

Day 16.8: Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd All three of us, virtually hand-in-hand, head to Surawong Rd via Patpong, from Soi 4. A good cry always washes away frustration and trouble, and that episode seemingly (at least to me) behind us, we skip towards Patpong, stopping by to admire the ladies, tourists, and “cheap” merchandise. We go by Silom Tattoo, and thankfully they were busy with a customer, so I was not tempted to get my tattoo. Probably not a good idea to be nursing a tattoo bruise, on top of juggling two boys, tonight. Though it probably would be something I would foolishly do on a first week in Thailand, but now, as I limp my way to America in these last few days of my vacation, I’m glad that I get to at least make one good decision tonight. Cambodia Boy (CB) is more talkative now, and engaging Dream Boy Thai Guy (DTG) more. We pass by Soi Twilight and DTG points to that general area to tell CB where his bar was. CB says we should go into the Soi later. Right now though, I wanted to go to Jupiter. I wanted to bring my two gorgeous boys to a place with more gorgeous boys. I wanted to surround myself with beauty. We get there 20 minutes before the show, and got good seats to accommodate us three. I sat first, DTG sits to me left, and then CB sits besides me as well. I’m the meat in a gorgeous boy sandwich, just the way I like it. The Jupiter boys were onstage, advertising their lean, tall and light-skinned wares. The usually suspects were there, though #60, the presumably arrogant ass, was not there, probably offed early. The stunner was there though, no number again, I guess never to be offed by us mere mortals. Both were described here: http://www.gaythailand.com/forums/topic/10424-bangkokpattaya-june-july-2016-trip-report-to-butterfly-or-not-to-butterfly/?p=93111 I’ve said this before, but because I wasn’t offing anyone tonight, and already have my boys, Jupiter is probably the best bar to go to if you just want to admire the visuals and the show production values in a gogo bar. The boy visuals never disappoint, they are always gorgeous. The numbers also never disappoint, a combination of drag queens with superior lip-synching skills, as well as well-crafted sensual boy numbers. I was having my own personal boy harem sitting on opposites sides of me. If I am with a special boy, watching a boy show, I like to hold their hand as a way to connect during the show. My conundrum tonight was: who do I hold hands with? I had to have a hand free to be able to drink my 350 baht alcoholic drink. I can’t hold both their hands, it will look weird. So I don’t hold hands with anyone at first. And then DTG holds my hand, I had no choice but to take it for a while. I talked to CB the whole time this happened. And then I would take my hand away and then hold hands with CB, while talking to DTG. I’m trying to give equal time and attention to the boys. I was looking at the boys onstage, and was talking to both DTG and CB which boy they thought was cute. They both thought the stunner was cute, and some of the other tall and lean ones we all thought were good looking. CB then said “All boy here good looking. I like the bar.” I tell him I like it too. I notice #32, who I have never seen before, looking good. He is light skinned like most of them, had big thighs and a handsome face. He has a sort of pony tail/man bun thing going, which doesn’t work on everyone, but on him, it looks hot. My friend PNGguyBKK narrates about #32 here: http://www.gaythailand.com/forums/topic/10409-jupiter-last-night/?p=92560 I tell CB that I think #32 is handsome. He concurs, says he looks like “man.” The place slowly fills up before the show begins. DTG, to my left, had space beside him so it was filled with some Asians, who quickly learned that DTG was handsome so they kept staring at him all night. CB to my right sat at the end of the bench. The boys onstage went through their horrendous first number (narrated in the link above), and then when they were done, scattered backstage. Some boys hung out in the audience, hoping they could be called on by a punter who may find them attractive. So #32 and another Jupiter boy stood close to the door, where CB was also sitting close to. While the numbers were starting, I notice #32 trying to talk to CB in Thai. CB initially ignored him, but pretty soon talked to him in English. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about. I was too busy looking at the stage during the numbers. CB then stopped talking to #32 and takes my hand and squeezes it. A brief comment about the numbers. Well-crafted as always, but there were some boys who were present last time I was here, who weren’t here now, including the good dancer last time who captivated the whole bar with his moves and big erection. I missed his presence, but other boys took his place and was equally competent, if less hot than him. One standout number for me was also the simplest one, just two gorgeous guys, with enormous erections bulging in skimpy briefs, gyrating to the song “Fantasy” by Black Box, Youtube here: [media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iKUOvLHmPs[/media] The song perfectly encapsulates what Thailand is for me: a fantasy that can't be erased. It's just a plane ride away. It was a simple number: two boys gyrating to a great song, but they were in perfect sync, their bodies glistening under the warm lights, enticing us, telling us we are going to have a good time with them. The lyrics of the song perfectly sums up what the bar, and frankly, Thailand is, for most of us: Every man has a place, in his heart there's a space And the world can't erase his fantasies Take a ride in the sky, on our ship fantasy All your dreams will come true, right away To me, this song perfectly encapsulates what Thailand is to me: a fantasy that I am more than willing to take a ride in. Meanwhile, CB told DTG and I he was going to the bathroom. It takes him a while before he gets back, possibly about 15 minutes. I ask him what took him so long. He told me #32 followed him to the bathroom, and talked to him a bit. He told CB that if he did not get an off tonight that he wanted CB to join him and possibly other boys to go out tonight dancing and drinking. He was told he was cute and should go with them later. CB told them he was with his BF (that would be me). I see #32 in the corner, looking at us. CB said he didn’t like #32. CB said #32 was “man on the stage and woman off the stage.” I just laughed at this description. The stunner boy was then part of a special number with three drag queens. Only wearing tight briefs and an erection, he lays down on a bench. The drag queens invite three punters from the audience to come up onstage. They then take three gummi bears and put one on stunner’s lips, his tummy, and his crotch. The three punters are supposed to take the gummi bears from the stunner, with their lips. It was a nice way to ogle at stunner boy in his semi-full glory. The punters were all shy, but were able to take the gummi bears from the different parts of stunner’s body. I was jealous of the punter who was able to put his lips on stunner’s crotch. No matter, I will be doing this with my own stunners soon. The shower number was pretty good as well, because none of the usual boys were there, so there were new boys almost naked, gyrating wet and getting a full soap down. A boy number sometimes gets stale when you see the same boys doing the same numbers, so this shower scene is pretty good. We leave when the show ends. We exit through Soi Thaniya and talk about the circus that was going on in the Soi: lots of girls and the Japanese men who admire them. We laugh at the spectacle of it all. DTG then recommends us go to Soi 4 to get a drink before retiring to the condo. It’s before 12 midnight so there was still a lot of night to be had. We get there and we were all in good spirits. Everyone was talking, laughing, and partaking in the great night. We get to the Soi, Telephone Pub was full, but there were three seats free in Balcony Pub. We sit and order our drinks (beer, whiskey coke, espresso martini). DTG also orders some food to have while we are drinking. The food comes and soon we want to refill our drinks. We probably had three drinks in total with the food before we decide to go home to the condo. Seemingly in good spirits, I am thinking, is a threesome going to happen? I told CB and DTG separately that it was just going to be DTG and I tonight, but maybe moods have changed. We get to the condo and we start getting comfortable. DTG goes to the bathroom first to shower. That is when CB says that he hopes that it’s only DTG and me tonight having sex, and he won’t be joining ud. I ask do you want to join, he says no, he thinks I will have more fun with just DTG, and then says DTG is not his type. I do not force things on boys so I accept this. CB then looks at the bed and tells me there is no way three boys can fit in the bed. It’s a queen-sized bed, and it does look cramped when I try to lay on it with CB laying beside me. I miss the king-sized bed in Crowne Plaza (Advantage: Hotel). CB then suggests that he sleep on the couch tonight. I look at him and tell him are you sure? I would rather I sleep in the couch and both of them just in the bed. CB says no, I am the customer, I should be comfortable. CB then says he is OK with staying outside on the couch as long as we can have some alone time, just the two of us tomorrow. I promised him this, and since I planned on doing this anyway, I was OK with it. I made sure CB was OK with this arrangement. He seemed to be matter-of-fact about it, and seemed happy that he can think of this scheme for me. DTG comes out of the bathroom and I tell him what was going to happen tonight. DTG looked a little bit surprised and goes to the living room to ask CB if he was OK with this. CB assured him that it’s ok, just have fun and make me happy. DTG wasn’t really sure if he was OK leaving CB out in the living room to sleep. He volunteered to sleep outside once sex was done. I assured him that CB was OK with this, and I will have alone time with him tomorrow night. I then shower and go to the bedroom after. DTG has closed the bedroom door, and is just under the covers. He sees me finishing so he goes to the bathroom and takes the paper towels for wiping the the cum later. He also gets water from the fridge to bring to the bedroom. I think he wanted CB to have his privacy and didn’t want to get out of the bedroom to get these things and disturb CB. Before I retire to the bedroom, I go out to the living room and see CB wearing his headphones, listening to music, laying on the couch, with his eyes closed. I go next to him and he opens his eyes and says “Hi baby.” I ask him if he was OK like this, he says “No problem baby. Have fun boom boom please.” I ask if a customer has done this to him before, he says some times. He then smiles and then gets up to kiss me. I kiss him back and tell him to get some rest. He smiles and lays back down. I turn off the living room lights and leave him to his thoughts. I then focus my attention to DTG. I take off my towel, DTG does as well. The pecs, abs, face and smile, all still there, all still working for me. We try to be quiet during our love making, during me topping him, and including during DTG’s usually spectacularly noisy eruptive orgasm. I tell DTG he didn’t have to quiet down during his orgasm. DTG says he did not want to disturb CB. We laugh at this and kiss. DTG takes some paper towels and wipes me and himself down. He sets the towels on the floor, turns off the lights, and cuddles with me. I think this will work. I wonder if it working out in the living room. I will know tomorrow.

I love the sex, don't get me wrong, but I'd take these great experiences over quickie sex sessions any day. Even if tears are in the equation. Haha, well I was always in shorts, so long pants was a step up. Why not date two guys? Drama is not welcome of course, but the resolution, I think, made it worth it. To me, it's all worth it in the end. Again, it's all about the experiences. While I do not look to create conflict, it happens, and I make every effort to diffuse it. Maybe I am naive, but it always works out in the end. Damn it, with this visual, its going to be a long 5 weeks for me before my next trip . I agree though, there is no feeling like it in the world. Thanks for the kind words. I am not a good writer (I wish I was). I just narrate what happened. The way you distill it made me realize how close i was to having a ruined night with my anger. Glad I am easy to forgive. Probably! It is totally possible. You are not the first one to say this, I've had other guys tell me that they have met DTG, or CB or Xboy Guy, based on my description of them. I guess since I am very descriptive and vivid with my narration, my naivete that i can protect the boys' identities probably is probably in vain. I hope this doesn't get the boys harassed. Again, your mileage may vary, and my experiences with these boys may be different from yours (better or worse). Agreed, no shortage of Cambodians, sometimes into a lot of drama and waterworks, in Jomtien, like CB . abang1961, yes, maybe he is high maintenance. But I let him, because I want him, as well as any other boy with me, be themselves while with me. Yes, I am paying them to be with me, but they are also not robots, and I'd rather have them be themselves than just grin and bear it around me. I am rewarded with a certain trust and openness that they don't usually expose to a typical customer, and more often than not, I actually get much better sex out of them this way (again, your mileage may vary, just my experience). Yes social etiquette is important in a lot of situations, but if you are with friends, as I think I am with the boys, sincerity and authenticity, to me, is more important.

Day 16.4: The Crying Game I did say at the beginning of this day that I was going to take it easy. I was going to coast through these next two nights just basking in the glow of the “love” of a cute boy. not looking for any fireworks or conflict, just a relaxing and calm time. Instead I get greedy and ask two cute boys to accompany me tonight. Let’s see how this goes. I tell Cambodia Boy (CB) to prepare for dinner. I told him Dream Boy Thai Guy (DTG) was coming to the condo around 7 PM, so we better get ready. It’s 6 PM now, and we just spent the rest of the afternoon just hanging out, having shallow conversation about pop culture and deep conversation about his horrendous customers. I tell him about DTG and what he was about. He was half listening and looking at his phone. I stop and go up to him and kiss him. We make out. I try to tidy up the condo and then shower. I get done and wear a t-shirt and long jeans. I didn’t want to look like crap compared to both CB and DTG so I am at least wearing pants. CB sees this and comments on how cute I looked. I tell him it’s just pants. He says he doesn’t like me wearing shorts, but he understands I am used to colder climates. He asks if I am wearing this because of my boyfriend DTG (that’s what he said). I tell him he is not my boyfriend and I am actually wearing this for you because you always dress so nice. He kisses me and says that I need to wear long pants more often because it suits me. And then he disappears into the bathroom to get ready. Pretty soon it is 7 PM and I get a Line text from DTG telling me that he at the condo lobby. I leave the room and hurry to get down to the lobby. I see DTG in his simple white shirt that hugs his muscular chest, long jeans and his boots that look old and in tatters. He flashes me his trademarked zillion watt smile and I immediately remember why I am drawn to him in the first place. The level-headed money boy. We take the elevator to the room. I hug him and he lets me, but points to the camera in the elevator. I tell him they have probably seen worse things before. I then tell him that CB might be in a mood. I tell him I think CB does not want to share me with you, but is letting me anyway. I tell him that CB and I had a threeway with a straight guy and it was perfectly fine. And then we hung out with a straight bodybuilder and he got along great with him. But I attempted to have a threeway with him and the gay Thai twink and he had a problem. DTG says maybe he has a problem with me having sex with other gay guys, because gay guys have a possibility to get attached to me. I tell him its probable that is the case, and I think he doesn’t want to share. DTG then tells me he doesn’t count because he is bisexual. I laugh and tell him it doesn’t matter. I can’t date any of you anyway because I already have a BF. We get to the room and CB is still in the bathroom. We sit down on the couch and I talk about my Pattaya trip. After 15 minutes CB emerges from the bathroom in a towel. He sees DTG and scurries into the bedroom. After 5 minutes he opens the bedroom door, in a one of my black t-shirts, his skinny jeans and boots. I ask him why he is wearing my tshirt. CB says he wanted to match DTG and myself in tshirts. He didn’t want to be the odd man out. CB looks infinitely better in my tshirt than I could ever look in it. Its funny we are the same size even if my build is more muscular than his. I decide that we should go to G’s Bangkok, the German-Thai restaurant on Soi 4. I really like the food and the beers so we make our way to the Soi. On the way, DTG and I continue talking but CB does not join our conversation. The restaurant was almost full on a Saturday night but we were lucky that one of the tables was vacant. We get seated and the owner is there again. He introduced himself to us, and he doesn’t remember me from earlier, but that’s ok. He probably has seen so many faces in two weeks between my visits, that he won’t recognize me anyway. We look at the menu and I point to CB the Thai section so he can choose the food he likes. DTG also looks at the Thai section of the menu. I know what I want. We order the food (all seafood, excellent), and the owner asks if we wanted some beers. DTG and CB gamefully looks at the selection in the drink menu and asks questions about what tastes they will expect from the beers. I’m glad they can at least have a similar interest, even if it is beer. I get a modest glass of IPA, DTG gets a large glass of pale ale, and CB gets a gigantic boot of German beer. You can take a Jomtien boy out of the Complex, but you can’t take the Complex out of a Jomtien boy. DTG and I continue talking, and sometimes I ask CB a question and he responds. But CB mostly is silent, mostly on his phone, and is not participating in the conversation. DTG sometimes talks to CB as well but CB can’t just get into it. As we wait for the food, the owner comes to us and asks all of us where we were from. Los Angeles. Bangkok. Phnom Penh. He had stories about all three cities which made us laugh. He and I then talk about how awesome Thailand is. He talked about condos and I told him I was looking to buy one here. He had some suggestions for me. It was a pleasant conversation. Before he left, he told me that it is obvious that I was having fun, and pointed to the two boys. I tell him they are awesome boys, he says I am lucky because they are very good looking. We get our food. CB then gets a phone call. He then proceeds to have a full-on conversation in Khmer while we were eating. DTG and I at first ignore it, and just continue talking. But towards the middle of the meal, it was getting to be rude. CB wasn’t loud, his voice was low enough that he wasn’t disturbing the other tables. But he was being rude to us, the two other people in his table. DTG was not saying anything about it but could see I was getting frustrated. He holds my hand to calm me down, and continues to talk to me. DTG is the adult in the table. DTG and I finish our meal. Since CB was still busy yapping away it takes him time to finish his meal. DTG and I continue talking while we wait for CB to stop talking and eating. All of a sudden, the owner comes and takes out three mini glasses and sets them in our table in front of us. He then gets a bottle of something that tasted like Jaeger and poured the drink in the glasses, for the three of us. He said it was free, and hope I wasn't too frustrated about what was happening, pointing to CB. I laugh and tell him I am fine and i thank him for the free drinks. I wasn’t fine though, and was mad as a hatter inside, but was not showing it. CB gets off the phone and slowly finishes his food and beer. I was glaring at him but he wasn’t paying attention to me. DTG continues to hold my hand and trying to calm me down. I never get mad at all. I’m so laid back and easy going. I think this is why some of the boys like me. But now I was angry. I was mad at CB for being rude. I pay up (1700 baht), and as we leave, I tell DTG I will talk to CB about his behavior. DTG whispers in my ear, don’t be angry. I kiss him and then as we leave the restaurant, I take CB aside and tell him what was on my mind: that I was really angry at him for taking a phone call for the length of our meal. For not talking to us, and for not paying attention. I tell him if you don’t want to be here, just go back to the condo and DTG and I will continue through the night. CB bursts into tears. I did not expect this. We have had angry words before. We bring out the worst, as well as the best from each other. I was expecting him to fight back, to tell me why I invited DTG here, why was I not true to him. But no, he starts crying. He then tells me: “So you are like this. Now I know you. You are bad man. I think you good, but no you bad.” I ask him what he is talking about. Why am I bad? You were the one that was rude. “I was talking to my mother in Cambodia. Is it wrong? Now you are kicking me out of the condo. Where am I going to go? I have no money?” I was taken aback. I was not kicking him out. Its clearly a misunderstanding of my English and they way I said it to him. I made it clear to him, in simple english phrases, that I said that if he wanted to go to the condo and stay there, it is fine, instead of being miserable with us. I told him I would never kick him out. I could be angry at him, sure, but never would kick him out and leave him high and dry. He says “I can stay? You want me to stay?” Yes, I never asked you to leave. I just think you are unhappy with me and DTG. He hugs me tight, on Soi 4, in full view of others. And cries some more. In between he says “Thank you. I want talk to my mother. I am jealous of Thai Guy. I’m sorry.” I hug him back. This is clearly deeper than just misunderstanding of what I said. He was kicked out of a situation before, without money, without options. And it was his dad, when he was 15, because they found out he was gay. I suddenly remember this story he told me last year, about being kicked out of his home. Having to fend for himself. Sell himself. And then having them go back to him and ask for money. Soul-crushing poverty. I stop hugging him to look at his tear-stained face and tell him that I would never abandon him. I will always treat him right. Even if he infuriates me sometimes, its just anger. I can be angry. I tell him maybe because I care for him a lot that I get angry. I never get angry with any other boy. I get angry because I have feelings attached to his actions. I tell him this, and make this promise to him. He calms down, and then smiles and says that he is “crazy boy.” I tell him yes, he is, but I love his crazy. He wipes away the tears and composes himself. He then tells me he will go to the bathroom at the restaurant. I then see DTG, standing about 10 feet away, just waiting, with a look of worry in his face. I go to him and he asks if CB was alright. I tell him he will be and everything is fine. I smile, genuiniely this time. DTG says if he needs to just go, since there is something obviously going on between CB and I. I tell DTG that I’ve known CB for a long time. There is history, and this has happened before. I assure DTG that I want him to stay. CB comes out of the bathroom, looking like nothing happened (they have their youth to thank for this!). He is smiling widely, knowing that I will never abandon him. I meant it too. Now, the night can begin. To be continued.

Busy weekend to be able to post continuation. But wanted to share tonight's activities. Here is a surreptitiously taken photo in a bar I was in (posted solely for the eye candy, nothing to do with Thailand), showing an example of the USA's paltry gogo boy scene. It doesn't compare to Thailand of course. Hahaha. Maybe it's better in your U.S. city. Plus points if you can guess what U.S. city I am tonight

This is an awesome story bucknaway. We fully expect you to post a trip report here when October comes. I'll be in Thailand and Cambodia or Myanmar in September.

Ugh. It's not that bad, and you will read about it in a few days (busy at the moment), but certainly the grief that came out of it is my fault. That would be a boring movie . As vinapu has said, the boys are in Thailand, and half the fun is looking for the boys to have fun with. My reports depict my own experience with the boys, and they might be different with other customers, maybe better or worse than how I was treated. The joy of Thailand is there are hundreds, maybe thousands of boys like this. Hopefully you can make your own great memories with your own boys. He is. I think I was lucky to have met him, as I am with the others boys I've met this trip. He keeps in touch everyday on Line, often with photos. With my experience, Long Time is highly recommended. There is just so much you can experience about a good boy. My solution: sleeping pills and earplugs. Never heard Tong snore. Had a very good night sleep with him. I heard from CB that I snore a lot. He says he doesn't mind.

Day 16: Bangkok Tales Time flies when you’re having fun. I can’t believe I have only two nights left in Bangkok, and back to California I go (sort of). The last few nights of a Thailand vacation for me means I begin to wind down, having checked most of the boxes I set out to accomplish before this trip started. First threesome? Check. Night at Jomtien Complex? Check. Off a Tawan star? Check. Get my heart broken a million pieces? Triple check. Now its just a matter of slowing down and taking time to smell the roses. The energy expended boy-chasing, the inertia needed to form connections with the boys I like, and the anxiety of preparing to go back home, is enough for me to not take too much risks in my last few days here. I get another night of full rest. I wake up at 8 AM and surprised I wake up early. Then I turn to Cambodia Boy (CB), and see that while he is sleeping, he doesn’t have the blanket on him. I feel his hands and its ice cold. I took the covers from him last night and now he’s freezing cold! I pull the covers to his side and cover him up. I give him a full hug to help him warm up. I drift back to sleep like this. 10AM and I wake up again, entangled with CB. The aircon in the condo is fairly strong, so its very conducive to cuddling (Advantage: Condo). CB, half-awake, whispers “How are you baby?” in a very endearing way. I wish I can wake up everyday like this. I try to put aside thoughts of me leaving soon and just focus on the boy. I say I am good. I ask him what he wanted to do today. He said nothing in particular, he will just “follow me”. I told him I just wanted to relax today. We cuddle, and then it soon becomes a make out session, and then it soon becomes a chuck-wow session. We both cum while kissing, appreciating some tenderness early in the day. He cums first, and all over his chest and tummy. I aim towards him, also summing all over his chest and tummy. All the cum on his lean frame quickly drips down on the sheets. Thank goodness for the washer and dryer in the unit (Advantage: condo). He stands up, maneuvering his body to carefully not letting any more of the cum drip off his body. He goes to the bathroom, pees and showers. I see some drips of cum on the floor. We are both huge cummers. I strip the bed of the linens and stuff them in the washer/dryer. He emerges in a towel and tells me if he can stay in the bathroom while I shower. I say sure and disrobe and enter the shower. With the shower having transparent doors, he can see me and I can see him. While I shower I see what he is doing: his daily beauty regimen. The flawless skin, bright complexion, and trendy hair obviously needs to be maintained to keep himself employed. He told me before he prides himself of not needing to wear any makeup, like most of the gogo boys out there. Onstage, under harsh lighting, and under intense scrutiny of discerning customers, gogo boys need every trick in their arsenal to look delectable for us. After showering, CB is about done with his regimen. When he is done, he tells me his lifestyle is not conducive to maintaining great skin. As a Jomtien boy he drinks a lot for work, and sometimes, after his bar closes, he goes with his Jomtien mates to continue drinking at Jomtien beach, often till dawn and even after that. Coupled with not getting enough sleep and not eating as well as he would like, acne and circles in his eyes are always a concern. So he takes care of his skin when he can. Whatever he does with skin, it works, because he is smooth all throughout. Not a blemish in sight on his light brown skin. He loves parading in the condo naked. I love that he parades in the condo naked. He tells me he is hungry, but he does not want me to take him to an expensive restaurant. He worries that I spend too much money on my vacations. I tell him I appreciate the concern, and I think of a cheap place to go: Foodland in Patpong. We put on clothes, me in horrible Farang Wear™ , him in a nice white crisp long-sleeved shirt, skinny jeans and boots. I decide to at least wear jeans tonight to match his fashion. We get there and there were about 4 other people in the restaurant with us. We look at the menu and take our time choosing. I decide to get the American breakfast (because I am gross) as well as a Thai omelette, CB decides to get a chicken curry thing, fried rice and soup for both of us. We obviously ordered a lot and when the order comes, all the plates could not fit our table. Waitress asks us to move to a bigger table, because we order too much. Eating with CB means eating family style, we share everything and have a hearty conversation about pop culture. He is curious on how popular certain stars he knows are in the U.S. I tell him what I know. We finish, completely satisfied, and I pay up. Its 650 baht for the feast we just had. He then asks me if we can walk around the area so he can see the lay of Silom in the daytime. We both are fascinated with what nightlife spots look like in the daytime. I show him Patpong, and describe to him what it looks like at night. We stop by Silom Tattoo on Patpong and talk to the guy there about a tattoo I wanted to get for my upper left arm. He initially quotes 5500 baht. Kind of pricey but CB immediately haggles and gets the price down to 3500 baht. I tell the tattoo artist we will come back. I am not ready to get a tattoo right now, but at least I know its still a possibility. We walk on Surawong Rd and tell him where Soi Twilight is. We walk by and not a lot of activity on an early afternoon. Some Bangkok Massage boys are out in their familiar white wife beaters and shorts. We leave the Soi and cross the street to get back to Silom. We cut through to Soi Thaniya. I tell him what this street looks like at night. He tells me this Road is familiar. Then he points to one of the cheap hotels on the Soi and he tells me he usually stays in one of the cheap rooms in that hotel. It costs him about 300 baht a night to stay there, and there is no aircon in the rooms he stays in. He tells me he stays there if things are particularly slow in Pattaya and there are no customers, or if the cheap Charlies are the only hits he gets. He goes to Bangkok and stays at the cheap place and gets on Grindr/Hornet/PRomeo to look for customers. He sometimes does not need the room anyway because he usually gets long time with his customers. But he is glad the room is there in case something happens. He usually gets some customers this way, but does not want to stay in Bangkok full-time because he says it is too busy and fast-paced for him. He likes Pattaya’s sleepy vibe, he likes working in Jomtien Complex, and he likes his bar, his boss, and loves his Khmer friends. He also admits that Bangkok is more difficult to navigate than Pattaya, and sometimes his customer’s hotel is hard to find, that he gets in trouble for being late a good number of times. I wonder how many boys do this sort of thing to earn money. I tell CB that we should go to Silom Complex to go to the DTAC store there. I need my Thai phone to have international roaming (for private reasons). On the way, Dream Boy Thai Guy (DTG) Lines me and asks if I am back in Bangkok. I get so focused being with CB, I forgot that I promised DTG I will see him before I leave. I ask CB if it was OK to see DTG tonight. I do not expect a threesome but I want DTG to stay at the condo. I even show CB a photo of DTG. CB says it was fine. He then asks me to promise that I am his and not DTG’s. I told him yes, I am yours, you have nothing to worry about. I don’t know what he means by this. He is fully aware that I have a BF. Yes I am his, but only till Monday. He will get his tip at the end regardless. I find out later that there is more to this than just saying “I am his.” Another one of my failures, failing to see what “Saving Face” looks like. Unknown to what was coming, I text DTG that I am with another boy today, but he is OK (saving face) with you coming tonight. DTG then calls me. I answer and he immediately asks me about CB. I tell DTG, in front of CB, that CB is an amazing guy, smart, kind, Khmer, and wicked gorgeous. This makes CB laugh. DTG says he really wants to see me before I leave but is unsure with CB there. I tell DTG not to worry and just meet with us. We agree on meeting at 7 PM for dinner. We get to DTAC and they could not help with my roaming inquiry, but they tell me to go to Siam Paragon and the DTAC there can. So we take the BTS to Siam Paragon. BTS is busy today, with the Sala Daeng station filled with people. The trains are filled wall-to-wall as well, and we almost could not fit in the car we go into. Luckily its only two stops away. I grab on a rail, and CB grabs onto my shoulder. Pretty soon we are at Siam Paragon. Back home I try to avoid going to shopping malls back of home because of a number of reasons. Somehow here in Thailand they are less of an issue for me. Siam Paragon, MBK and Terminal 21 are favorites of mine, and if retail therapy is needed, I duck into one of those malls and spend an entire day with my favorite boy of the trip. I tell CB that maybe we can go to shopping trip tomorrow, my last day. It’ll be a good chance for me to buy little trinkets for the BF and some friends and family back home, as well as buy CB and maybe DTG some stuff as thanks, and to remember me by. CB, who has an expensive habit of spending money on nice clothes to maintain his pretty boy look, and tries to get customers to be pay for them, won’t pass up this opportunity. He has been game for just about anything I throw at him, though sometimes not without difficulty, so why not brighten up his day with a day of shopping. We get to DTAC and at reception I tell the reception guy what I needed. I get a number to get in the queue, I notice that my ticket has “English Speaking” on it. CB sits with me waiting just playing with his phone. My number comes up and I tell the customer rep about my need for roaming. He tells me its not problem but he says he needs my passport. I of course did not bring it with me, and I even forgot my colored photocopy of it that I usually bring with me all the time. I apologize and tell the guy I would just have to come back to get my passport. We spend the rest of the afternoon in the mall, just window shopping and spending time together. We get back to the condo and continue bonding over music and pop culture. Pretty soon it is time to prepare for dinner. I take the clean linens from the washer and prep the bed for three people tonight. I think to myself, I get along great with DTG with my time with him, and I get along great with CB as well, surely DTG and CB with me will be even a greater time right? I guess I'll find out tonight. To be continued...

Thanks for thinking its well crafted. Not sure how it translates when I put it out there. It is fairly time consuming to write these. It helped that I finish a first draft of about 3/4 of the trip before I got back home. It also helped that I went to Hong Kong the first part of my trip, that's when I finished that first few days of writing. I would also write in my free time, between boys, the drive to Pattaya, and the million hours I was flying back home. I just do a lot of proofing and rephrasing before I post. Some fall through the cracks obviously.

Haha about the phone. I am one of the culprits that let technology ruin their vacations. I am ceaselessly connected to the outside world, including my work, the news, my friends, and the boys, during my time with friends and other boys. With my BF, probably half the time together we are on our phones talking about what we see in our phones. Maybe its my generation? Some of the boys are sometimes connected when I am with them. Its part of the experience for me sometimes. But we know when to put our phones down . Also, my job is in tech (partially), so being connected is second nature. I wish I could stop though. Is that some kind of record: 10,000 views in 2 weeks? I'm assuming its not unique views, otherwise I may have underestimated the Gaythailand population. Anyone have an estimate of how many unique people log in per day, members or anonymous?