Gaybutton

Ohhhhhhh, you're supposed to eat it. Damn! I've been resoling my shoes with it.

Your post is making it seem as if you want to break up with him, but can't bring yourself to actually do it. Am I interpreting that correctly?

Granted, but I also wanted to see if anyone else is hearing the same thing or has seen news I hadn't seen. I think I made it quite clear that there has been no news and the only place I heard this was from this one bar owner.

3000 baht and you haven't even met him? I would not meet him or even communicate with him again if I were you. Lvdkeyes is right. This stuff about not having money to eat is nonsense. Yes, they can go to a Wat, but that usually isn't necessary. The boys take care of each other when the chips are down. He is probably living with at least two or three other boys. I don't think the others or his friends are going to let him starve while they're eating. You can buy Thai food from the street vendors for 20 baht. If he was chatting with you online, then he most likely was in an Internet shop. He had the money to pay the Internet shop, but had no money to eat? I don't think so.

Other than eating my cooking, I can't tell you the most disgusting foods I've seen because I can't tell what most of it is or what it is made from. The three I can identify: Blood - I mean pure raw blood. I've seen some of the rural people buy a hunk of beef, extract the blood into a bowl, and eat it as is just as if it was soup. All I could think of was Dracula. Bats - I've seen them put up nets at fruit farms to catch fruit-eating bats. But waste not, want not. Once they catch them, they grill them and serve them, head and all. The third one has a name, but I forgot what the name is. It's the roasted unhatched baby birds. Sometimes they eat it raw too. To me, that is the most disgusting of all. I can't even look at them eating it.

In my opinion it's one thing to cover expenses of the boyfriend himself, but I make it clear from the outset that I'm not here to be the family ATM. If it's a question of life or death, that's something I would probably cover if I can, if it is the immediate family or someone I know the boy is very close to. But when it comes to weddings, funerals, etc, the family is on their own. That's the family, not the boy, and there is no way I'm going to take responsibility for the family's financial problems. Others do. I know many farang who have paid for major home repairs or even brand new homes for the family, cars, motorcycles, farming equipment, have paid for them to open businesses, paid off their loan shark debts, etc. That's great if that's what you wish to do and if you have the financial means to do it. But I don't have that kind of money and in keeping with learning the hard way, I've discovered that once you let it start there is no end to it. I've also seen many well meaning farang let themselves get trapped and they often end up broke. I've also seen too many times that once the money runs out, so does the boy. I think it is best to establish an allowance that you'll give the boy and make sure he understands that any money he wants to give to mama comes out of his allowance, but nothing from my wallet beyond that. The problem is where you want to draw the line, but wherever that may be, it is best to make it abundantly clear at the beginning of the relationship. That way the boy has been informed as to what you will and will not do. The trick is anticipating all the possibilities and then sticking to what you told him.

In my opinion there is only one strategy that heals - time. The more traumatic the breakup, the longer the time required to get over it. Sometimes you can never really quite get over it, but given enough time you can at least live with it. Life goes on. I think the worst thing to do, if you know a breakup is inevitable or it at least should be, is to put it off. As difficult as it may be, if it needs to be done, then get it over with. I think many of us have been there, and that includes me. I seem to be great at learning the hard way. In my case I delayed and delayed, forgave and forgave, and meanwhile everyone I knew could see that I was in a relationship that was spiraling from bad to worse and there was no end to it. Everyone could see it, that is, except me. When the moment finally came, it was one of the most difficult things I've ever been through. The guilt feelings I went through were terrible, even though I knew I had nothing to feel guilty about. Then, about a month or so later, that's when it began to change to 'what in the world was I waiting for?' Your friend will go through hell for awhile. But that will pass. Believe me, the hell of breaking up is a lot better than the hell of trying to continue a destructive relationship. Supposedly, when he was waiting for Eisenhower to decide whether to keep him on the ticket for Vice President or drop him, Richard Nixon finally confronted him and said, "Mr. President, there comes a time in every man's life when he has to either shit or get off the pot." I think the same holds true if the time comes when it is necessary to break up. I think the best thing, really the only thing, you can do for a friend who is going through it is to be there for him when he needs you and especially when he needs to talk. And if you're a true friend, that means you're available 24-7 until he can cope.

I hope he is wrong, but he seemed very sure about it. All we can do is wait and see. I have not seen or heard anything about this except from him. Let's hope no news is good news.

I hope he's wrong, but last night a Thai bar owner told me that yet another massive Red Shirt rally is planned for Bangkok on July 14, less than a month from now. I have no way to know if that is true, but he seemed to know what he was talking about. Keep your fingers crossed, folks. Enough is enough!

The point is they can ask if they so choose. Just take some sort of proof of address with you when you do the address report. If they do ask, now you have it. If they don't ask, you take it home again. No problem.

The only response you're going to get from me when I see a put-down post like yours is if you ever do it again, your post will be out of here as soon as I see it and so will you. If you can't state your views without trying to put down others, then there is no place for you on this board. You ought to know by now there is no way I tolerate such posts and you also ought to know I warn only once.

Not only that, but Thai law and enforcement thereof tends to change and they're not above grandfathering in certain things. That's what caused the scare a few years ago when Thailand was saying they are going to go after farang who had bought condos under corporate names. Fortunately, that didn't happen, but there is nothing to say that it can't happen at some point in the future. It could happen years from now. It might never happen. But it could also happen tomorrow. That's part of the problem. I agree with the Suze Orman quote. And I take it even a step further in that even if you do understand it, who's to say it won't all change before the end of the term of the loan?

I don't understand your logic on this point. How can it not matter? If I cannot own the building, then in my opinion there is nothing to pursue. If this person intends to collateralize the loan with the building itself, but if it turns out that you cannot own the building, then if he defaults on the loan, how can you protect yourself and recover your money? I would think even if you can own the building, but he defaults on the loan, now you would have to go through a major hassle involving attorneys, the land office, the courts, and Lord-knows-what, not to mention having to try to sell the building yourself. I could be wrong, of course, but if I'm holding the paper on a building I cannot own, then if he defaults on the loan, I'm holding worthless paper. I'm not saying it's a bad investment. Maybe it's an excellent investment. But as far as I'm concerned, if I cannot own the building, then include me out no matter how good the investment might be.

I'm with you. I couldn't care less about it either. I didn't vote because from among all the choices, none fit the bill for me. I've learned that whenever I write a poll I always leave an option for "other." No matter how thoroughly I think I've covered every possibility, there's always somebody who has something different from what I thought of.

For me it would depend entirely on what the person did, why he did it, and what effect it had on me. You didn't provide any details, so it's difficult to answer. If you don't want to tell us what happened, can you at least tell us if what he did was something he did to you or something he did to someone else? Also, whatever it was, can you be certain he actually did it instead of someone else, but he's getting the blame? Can you even be certain he did whatever it was at all? I regularly get accused of things I haven't done right here on this board, such as banning people, deleting posts, etc. Can you be sure the same kind of thing isn't happening to him? Also, did you find out and confront him with it or did he admit it to you voluntarily? Is he denying it or apologizing for it? Is he trying to do anything to make amends for what he did? Can you tell if he is genuinely sorry for what he did and wishes he could turn back the clock and undo whatever it was? Some people are genuinely sorry - not sorry for what they did, but very sorry they were caught. For me, all of those kinds of things would be factors as to whether I could or could not forgive and/or forget. I'm the type who is more likely not to forgive, or at best forgive, but not forget. I've been burned too many times in my life to be a forgiving soul anymore. Again, it depends on what all the factors would yield, but I'd say nine times out of ten, I don't forgive and just drop people who I know intentionally did me wrong. I've done that with Thai boys and I've done it with farang friends, even close ones, when I discovered I had been wronged, used, and lied to deliberately.

I don't disagree with the gist of what you are saying, but my first question would be whether it is legal in Thailand for a foreigner to buy an entire building in his own name or establish a corporation in his own name and buy it that way. Is it? I really don't know. I know that Thailand has gotten quite strict about foreigners establishing corporations for the purpose of buying property. I also know that applies to housing. But I have no idea whether that also applies to commercial property.

My God, man. Aren't you even capable of posting on this board without uncalled for, unnecessary put-downs?

I appreciate that. I write those articles in hopes that they may help others. It is always gratifying to know it was worth the effort. By the way, if any one wants that article or any others I've written, I don't keep them on the web site. They are available by Email request at: gaybutton@gmail.com

You should report that profile to Gay Romeo. There are many reasons why he may have written that in his profile. It could be just as you said, a dumb kid. It could be he simply is being honest about his age despite breaking the Gay Romeo rules. It could be that he really is 18 or 19, but wants people to think he's 16 if he believes that will attract more attention to himself. Whatever his reason may be, my advice would be don't walk, but run from that profile.

Most likely, any time a farang is involved, you must pay . . .

Well, there's "Toto" too . . . The Lizard of Lez? Tin Would Man? Auntie BM? Yellow Prick Rode? Poppers? The Foreskins? Miss Gulch?

That's not quite true. It depends partially upon which Wat at which the boy wants to be a monk. Many Wats require the boy to pay for robes, housing, study materials, etc. The costs can be quite variable. That party is also variable. If they can afford it, they want a parade and a party as the boy goes off to be a monk, the bigger the better. I've seen Thai parents spend every baht they've ever been able to save in their lives to put on such a party - food and drinks for entire villages. Often, they'll spend everything they have on it even if they're living in a hovel in dire need of repair. The parade and party comes first. Most of the time, those parties are held at the Wat itself and all the equipment necessary to stage the party and parade is rented from the Wat.

I would not recommend "Totally Oz" as a screen name because these days OZ represents Australia. In your case, maybe "Totally odd"? Here's something for your Wizard of Oz collection: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPuwnyep51Q

Police Have 3 Days to Investigate Foreigners Published: 15/06/2010 A judge has given police three days to investigate two foreigners held for nearly a month for allegedly violating an emergency decree during bloody, anti-government protests. Briton Jeff Savage and Australian Conor Purcell are being held for their alleged roles in street clashes between red shirt protesters and government forces that left almost 90 dead and more than 1,800 injured during two months of demonstrations. Police asked the judge to extend their detention for another six days, but he authorised an extension of just three more days, in keeping with the emergency decree's detention limit of 30 days. Police have 3 days to investigate foreigners

I don't know. I also don't want to find out. Again, I urge checking the ID card of any boy of questionable age. I've seen some of those under-age boy ads on Gboysiam too. I don't know what those boys are looking for, why Gboysiam allows under-age ads, whether a sting is ever involved, or anything else. What I do know is I would not recommend even responding to such ads under any circumstances.