Gaybutton

The following appears in the PATTAYA MAIL: _____ South Road Gets New Parking Rules 1,000 Baht Fines Begin Oct. 1 Sawittree Namwiwatsuk Fed up with parked and double-parked vehicles choking traffic on South Pattaya Road, police will impose new

That's what I do too. While I realize that plastic bags take about 50,000 years to break down, when I consider the number of plastic bags in use worldwide every day and the futility of the "if everybody refused to use them" argument, I don't feel guilty about accepting plastic bags and shopping without carrying around my own shopping bag. I use the plastic bags I get for trash can liners and as garbage bags. As far as recycling is concerned, at least in residential housing areas you don't have to worry about that. Every day, usually several times per day, garbage pickers come by, go through everybody's outdoor trash cans, and take just about anything that can be sold or recycled. There are plastic recycling centers in Pattaya. There's a large one close to where I live. That's where the garbage pickers take all the plastic they gather and sell their load for whatever amount they can get.

It's interesting, but I don't see how the ability to read that is of any practical use if they are still charging farang a different price. I think that's outrageous, by the way, to be charging farang 4 times the price the Thais pay. For me, the ability to read Thai would be most helpful trying to read signs or menus that are entirely in Thai. I'm fortunate in one respect, and that may have a lot to do with why I never tried learning to read it. On my street there is a Thai woman who speaks English fluently. When I do have a question or receive mail written in Thai, I can simply consult her.

We can all debate over whether it is best to learn to read and write Thai before, or in conjunction with, attempting to learn to speak it. My Thai tutor, and I thought she was excellent, advocated learning to speak it before worrying about learning to read and write it. I think I speak Thai quite well in comparison to the average farang, but to this day I cannot read or write in Thai. On a practical level so far I have never had a need for it. However, I do wish I had learned to at least read it. It would certainly make things easier. But since I am able to communicate well enough to be satisfactory for my own needs, I doubt I will ever make the effort to learn to read it, although I know I should.

Well, do you still love me . . . ?

Too bad she didn't respond with a coy look and a "So am I."

HeyGay is definitely right in that the whole point of what they are trying to do is crack down on those who try to use these visas as a means of getting around the long-term visa requirements. They want to get rid of as many scofflaws and deadbeats as they can, and with good reason. One thing is certain. Thailand does not play games with immigration and visa issues. While the average traffic cop might spend a good portion of his day trying to get, shall we say 'tips,' it is an entirely different matter when it comes to immigration. Something I have never understood is just why they set an age minimum of 50 as being eligible for the retirement visa. I don't understand what difference one's age makes if he can prove he can financially support himself, is not in Thailand committing crimes, and is trying to legitimately live in Thailand. Technically, anyone who has ever taken someone off from a bar has committed a crime in Thailand. If someone has the financial means to live in Thailand and wishes to do so even if he is only 25 years old, what difference should his age make as long as he can meet all the other requirements? A person could have made his fortune by then or could have inherited a lot of money. The minimum age requirement is on my "I Don't Get It" list.

You may not need them as much as you think you do. I have a feeling that those for whom certain phrases on the list would be appropriate, those who are most likely to be with you at night, just may have been with a few others at night before and probably already know most, if not all, of those phrases in English.

Since when is having a phone number a requirement or a 60-day visa? I know of no tourist or non-immigrant visas that require a phone number. On some applications there is a space for a phone number, but if people don't have one they just leave the space blank. If they insist on a telephone number, if you don't have a phone of your own giving the number of a friend or your hotel is acceptable. I know of no requirement to even report a lost or stolen telephone. Also, if you give your own phone number, I know of no requirement to turn on the telephone at all if you do not wish to do so. Also, a 60-day visa is a tourist visa. They ask that an initial address be provided, but there is nothing that says a tourist can't travel around the country at will and there is no requirement for anyone to report an address change on a tourist visa. I do think, however, that immigration officials are going to be a lot tougher on people who enter the country on back-to-back tourist visas.

Posting news items is permissible as long as the source is cited. Commentary of any kind regarding His Majesty the King, other than wishing him well, is not acceptable on this message board.

It's been a very long time since anyone asked for this. I wanted to upload it as a .pdf file, but the system won't allow for .pdf uploads for some reason, so here it is. You'll have to copy it from here: ____________________ Gaybutton's Phrase Book It is always appreciated very much when a "farang" tries to speak some Thai. The various phrase books I have seen are helpful, but many phrases you wish were there simply are not. The following is a brief list of phrases you really need. You should be able to easily use these phrases or put them together to form sentences that will greatly help communication between you and your host. There are plenty of phrase books available in Thailand for additional words, along with web sites. I have written these as phonetically as I can. These are not official transliterations. As a matter of fact, the official transliterations are usually quite confusing, so here you'll get "Gaybutton's transliterations." Don't forget to print out these phrases and take them with you! Farahng - a foreigner (many people say falahng – either one works) krap - the polite "phrase-ender," used only by males ka - the polite "phrase-ender," used only by females Kapkhun krap - Thank you (if you are female, end with "ka" instead of "krap") Khun - you (also Mister or Miss) Sawat dee krap - hello, goodbye Pom poot passah Thai mai dai - I can't speak Thai Pom poot passah Thai neet noy mak - I can speak Thai only a little neet noy - a little bit Sabai dee roo - how are you? Mai - no, not (used to make phrases negative: hee-yoo=hungry, mai hee-yoo=not hungry Mai chai - no (same as ‘incorrect') Chai - yes (correct, and make sure you raise the tone as you speak the word) Krap - yes (agreement) Pom - I, me Krap pom - yes sir, yes ma'am Khun cheu (pronounce the "eu" like the oo in ‘book.') arai? - What is your name? Pom cheu - My name is Krai - who (pronounced just like "cry") Tahm-mai - Why? seu - buy, purchase Ah-yoo tao rai? - How old are you? Pom ah-yoo ..... bee - I am ..... years old. bee - year Mai kowjai - I don't understand Pom kowjai - I understand Kowjai mai? - Do you understand? Khun hee-yoo khao mai? - Are you hungry? Pom hee-yoo khao - I am hungry Hee-yoo nam - thirsty Khun dongahn arai? - Do you want anything? Khun yahk dai arai? - Do you need anything? Arai - what yungai - how nee arai? - what is this? ahnee - this jing-jing - really ye-um jing-jing - really excellent! Khun dongahn bpai nai? - Where do you want to go? bpai nai? - Where are you going? Pom ja bpai pai . . . - I am going to . . . Pom dahngahn bpai pai... - I want to go to ... Bpai nai mah? – Where have you been or Where are you coming from? Wun-nee - today keurn-nee - tonight proong-nee - tomorrow taw-nee - now Bahng-tee - maybe Bahng-krang - sometimes Mai-koey - never (This word is rather difficult for English speakers to pronounce. If you try to say the word "curry," without the "r's" you'll be close. Maikoey. Try it) gin - (pronounce with a hard 'g') eat deurm - drink (pronounced somewhat like the word "doom," with an "r" in it) mai ow pet - No hot spices in my food, please. sao - (pronounced as in São Paulo, Brazil) - sad moho – angry go-hoke – lie ( as in tell a lie) keeneeow – cheapskate burr-toh – telephone number Sam-khan - important rawn -hot now - cold (make sure to raise the tone as you speak the word) Fohn toke- raining Jep - pain, painful khun soo-ay (you're beautiful - NOTE: raise the tone "ay". If you lower the tone, you will be saying "ugly.") Khun law - You are handsome Khun law mak - You are very handsome Khun law mak mak - You are very, very handsome Mai bpen arai - That's ok, that's all right kaw tote - I am sorry Tow-rai - How much? Ah nee tow-rai? - How much is this? Peng - expensive Mai peng - not expensive, cheap Tee-nai? - where is? Khun yoo tee-nai? - Where are you? Hawng nam yoo tee-nai? - Where's the restroom? prah-wah - because lah-oh - we, us lay-oh - already, before Mee - have Mai mee - don't have Reu - or lah - and (pronounce the 'a' as in the word 'bat' or 'at' or 'cat') ta - if mak - very, much mak kwah - more than noi kwah - less than meu arai - when ja - will (as in future tense) Sa-nook mai? - Are you having fun? Are you enjoying this? Mai sabai - sick, ill yah - medicine (pronounce the 'a' as in the word 'bat' or 'at' or 'cat') Kawng kwan - present, gift sa-nam-bin - airport too-ra-sap - telephone dton-mai - tree polla-mai - fruit bur-ree - cigarette fy-shak - cigarette lighter kawng khun - your kawng pom - my, mine nam – water nam plow – plain water (drinking water) hawng nam - bathroom, restroom Choo-way - help Pom ja choo-way khun - I will help you. Khun puk yoo tee-nai? - What's your address? lahng - after eek - again, another pom kon dee-yo - I am alone dee - good dee mak - very good mai dee - bad, no good pahn-ha - problem ah-teet - week doo-wun - month gone - before (pronounce as in 'Gone With the Wind') bee gone - last year bee nah - next year ah-teet gone - last week ah-teet nah - next week chawp - like (enjoy) arroy - like (food) mai chawp - don't like khun chawp - do you like...? pom chawp - I like..... a-hahn - food lahn a-hahn - restaurant check bin krap - the check, please (in a restaurant) pee - the informal way to address a person your own age, or older, if it is a stranger, such as a taxi driver or restaurant employee. nawng - the informal way to address a person younger than you. If you are not sure whether the person is younger or older, use your best guess! yahk dten rum mai? - Would you like to dance? sum-rup khun - This is for you (when giving something) mah - come khun mah jahk nai, krap? - Where do you come from? Pom mah jahk Ah-mehr-ree-gah - I come from America. glup mah - come back proong nee glup mah - I'll come back tomorrow mai ow - no thanks, I don't want Pom kaw poot gap..... - I would like to speak to......(on telephone) mai yoo - he's not here proong nee, lao ja pop gahn way-la tao-rai? - Tomorrow, what time should we meet? way-la - time soon - zero neung - one song - two sahm - three see - four haa - five (extend the syllable, pronounce the word like a drawn out "hah," and the tone should be a falling tone) hoke - six jet - seven bairt - eight (pronounce it like the word "air," with a "b" at the beginning and a "t" at the end) kao - nine (practice getting the tone right. If you use the wrong tone, then it sounds as if you are using the Thai word for either "rice" or "glass." Of course, if you are using the word in context, you will be understood even if you get the tone wrong.) sip - ten sip-eht - eleven sip-song - twelve sip-sahm - thirteen yee-sip - twenty (this can also be shortened to simply "yeep") yee-sip-eht - twenty-one (or "yeep-eht") yee-sip song - twenty-two (or "yeep song") yee-sip sahm - twenty-three sahm-sip - thirty see-sip - forty haa-sip - fifty loy - hundred song loy - two-hundred song loy see sip-eht - 241 loy sip haa - 115 pahn – thousand muhn – ten-thousand sahm pahn hoke loy jet sip see - 3674 _____________________________________ Rak - love Pom rak khun - I love you Pom rak khun mak - I love you very much. Pom yoo mai dai ta mai mee khun - I can't live without you. Pom kee-toong khun - I miss you, I missed you Pom ja kee-toong khun - I will miss you joop - kiss smoke - oral sex ga-see-en-lay-o – I am retired jai dee – good heart gawd – hug ta-lawt chee-wit – the rest of my life or all my life goo gik jeu jee – make out tae-ang – playful sexual touching chock-wow – masturbate nom - breast

Law of Gravity Addendum If a tool is particularly heavy it will roll into the least accessible corner only after it first lands on your toe. Law of Shoe Gas When you accidentally rub your shoe on the floor in such a manner that it sounds like you just loudly farted, when you try to repeat the action so that people will realize it was your shoe, no matter how many times you try you cannot reproduce the sound. Law of Facial Speck Whenever you try to tell someone they have something on their face, you can never get them to rub the right spot. Law of Letter in Your Mailbox The more serious the social situation, the more likely you are to have to pull your underwear from the crack in your ass. Law of Lost Ideas When you wake up in the middle of the night with a great idea, by morning you will have forgotten what it was. Law of Retorts You will always realize what you should have said after it is much too late to say it.

Next time, so will Geezer. In the past you had to supply the photos yourself. Within the past couple years they installed a new system and now it's all done with computers, which means you need to be there. Geezer probably renewed his license prior to the new system. My own license is still one of the old types. Also, apparently they are also requiring a few physical tests, such as reaction time and that sort of thing.

Perhaps so, but the hotels have been suffering lately and high season is not expected to be of much help this year. If you like the Marriott it's at least worth checking to see if they are offering any deals. Since you are planning a longer than average stay, they just might. Can't hurt to check.

Oh, come on. There's a big difference between slamming and obvious kidding around with each other. In all honesty I have no idea what the size of Jomtien's dick might be. The one time I had an opportunity to check I left my magnifying glass at home . . .

If you're willing to pay that kind of price, why not consider the Marriott Hotel? It's right next to the Royal Garden shopping mall. There is actually a door connecting them. The location is good. You're within easy walking distance to the Pattayaland bars, or lady-boy go go bars such as Stringfellows, practically next door on Soi Yamato if you're into that. You're within an easy baht bus or motorcycle taxi ride to Sunee Plaza and the beach. You're also close to good restaurants. The Marriott has one of the best breakfast buffets in town. Casa Pascal is right across the street. If you want to stay at the beach area instead, then the Rabbit Resort or the Avalon Hotel would be good choices. The Avalon is only a few steps from the gay beach area. The gay beach are begins literally right out the door. The Rabbit Resort is at the end of the gay beach area, which is also right outside the door. You would simply go outside and sit in their area or walk toward the Jomtien Beach road and the next several concession areas are all gay beach.

Actually, it's Tuk Com, not Tut Com. Let's see, 5000 baht cash deposit payable via Western Union, fees to have your bed linens changed, over-charging at check out, and a staff comprised of "Valley girl blonds." "You'll have to do better than that." -Merlin, 'Excalibur'

I would, but there's not much to tell . . .

I don't know. Would you care to have me reveal to the world the size of your own? I won't do that, though. You already have enough to be embarrassed about . . .

That's all I ask. Ok, problem solved . . . I hope.

Fine, but be damned careful about what you say. The one caught right in the middle of these disputes is me, and that's not a position I appreciate being placed in. I didn't post these things, but I'm always the recipient of the complaints and I'm the one living here and having to deal personally with these people. It places me in a no win situation. If I leave these posts alone, I'm the one who has to take the heat from the victims of the posts. If I do something about the posts, I'm the one who has to take the heat from the message board end. Either way, through no fault of my own, I end up taking the heat. Meanwhile, none of these posts came from me in the first place. GT has advised me that when this kind of issue comes up, he prefers that I just make the post invisible rather than edit anything out. From now on that's what I'll do. It's his board and I'll abide by his wishes.

Actually, he is Scottish. A few minutes ago I received a response from the owner of Corner Bar. He said his bar has not been sold and the person who posted that it had been sold never spoke to him at all. I was asked to remove the portion of the post that claimed the bar was sold and I have done so. I have also heard from other bar owners. I have to ask that people do not post personal information about others or rumors about business dealings. I was asked to make it clear that if a bar owner wants his business dealings posted, he'll either post it himself or will contact me and ask me to do the posting about it. I ask that my request voluntarily be honored, so that I won't have make sure it is forcibly honored. Ok? Thank you.

I agree with you. There is one little problem, though; trying to figure out just what the Thai way is.

I'm not surprised. This kind of inconsistency is so typical of just about everything in Thailand. Because I was always asked to produce the letter when I renew in Pattaya, until the above posts I assumed that it's a requirement at all immigration offices. I've never attempted to renew anywhere else. And since apparently only Pattaya requires it, the banks have managed to cash in. They all have the template for the letter in their computers. All they have to do is add your name and account information, and then print out the letter . . . for 200 baht.

Bully for their policy. What can they do about it if you refuse to pay? Cancel your service? Isn't that why you were there in the first place? Welcome to the latest addition to my "I Don't Get It" list.