PeterRS

Where did you dig up that nonsense? I have never shielded my romantic life from anyone. Of course I bring and have brought boyfriends to parties and other social events like going to restaurants, concerts and musicals, or even just to the supermarket and other shopping trips. We have been on vacation together to various parts of the world. In that sense I am perfectly open. A man with another man. You just did not read my initial post properly. What I stated was essentially that I do not go around with a banner on my back stating "I am gay!" as it seems so many in LA do. But if anyone asks, I tell them. I do not lie. I do not make excuses. My life is far from "emotionally taxing" and I live perfectly openly without "hiding". But I live in a part of the world which is very different from LA (thankfully) and I live my life very happily my own way. Not your way. Please read before making such rather silly assumptions.

As I stated, where is the Democratic Party? Cowering out of fear! You add that it is the people who will rise up - but they too are afraid and you have little faith in them. So it seems you are ready and willing for the USA to become a virtual dictatorship. If the Democratic Party is such a bunch of wimps (and I know some certainly aren't) then the 75,017,613 million people who voted for them are now being sold down the river. Trump and his MAGA idiots are certainly a massive problem. But every political party needs strong leadership, and the Dems have abandoned its base by not providing anything like effective leadership.

Respectfully I dont agree with that in the slightest. What did you expect me to do? Go around telling everyone, "Oh by the way, I just want you to know that I am gay?" That's just nonsense. I cannot think of anyone of those many hundreds I worked with throughout my career or who I called friends and acquaintances who ever considered being gay was a subject I would not be comfortable discussing. There is a virtue and it's called being polite. Few people, certainly in Asia where I have spent most of my life, are as openly assertive and questioning as gay men in Los Angeles.

And I have to repeat what i have already written. Where on God's good earth is the Democratic Party? They are clearly a bunch of wimps. I have no doubt they may have some great leadership potential but every one of them seems terrified of being emasculated by Trump's barbs. Somene should be out front at least acting like a leader. If they wait even another few months, campaigning for 2026 and 2028 will be underway and they will be in danger of disappearing. A two-party state when one is clearly terrified is virtually a dictatorship. The USA needs a third political party - reform of the existing machinery of elections will clearly never happen without one.

That is something i should perhaps consider, but one reason I bought this apartment is because of the view and , crows notwithstanding, I will not have that view interrupted. It is the bedroom which is affected now and I have some twisted strips of coloured reflective paper being installed at the side tomorrow. Plus I will soon have my solar bird deterrent. Hopefully these will work.

I made a rule soon after I admitted to myself that there was no possibility I could be bisexual or get married. I do not tell anyone I am gay. If they guess and don't mention it to me, that's their business. If anyone outright asks if I am gay, I will not lie. I will tell them I am. But it is remarkable in my experience how few people guess you are gay - well, when you reach your 50s, 60s and even 70s and do not have a steady girlfriend - it surely has to be 99% certain you are gay, doesn't it? On the other hand, once some people realise you are gay, making both gay and straight friends becomes a good deal easier.

The above is the subtitle of a book published last week with its main title The Last American President. I guess most readers here will not feel the need to read this short new book as much has already been commented here. But it has received extremely good reviews. Not having read it, here is the opening blurb - "The Last American President rips open America's wounded democracy to expose a terrifying truth: Donald Trump isn't an anomaly—he's the inevitable product of a system engineered to fail. This searing investigation reveals how a man forged by childhood trauma, pathological narcissism, and calculated cruelty didn't hijack democracy—he was handed the keys by those who should have been its guardians. "Hartmann uncovers the unholy alliance between Trump's damaged psyche and America's rotted institutions. From Fred Trump's brutal parenting to Roy Cohn's lessons in shamelessness, from a Republican Party that traded principles for power to billionaire donors who treated democracy as a profit center, this book exposes the assembly line that manufactured an authoritarian. "But this is about more than Trump's past—it's about America's future. As climate catastrophe accelerates and fascism spreads globally, Hartmann reveals the nightmare scenario: a second Trump term that doesn't just end American democracy but also triggers irreversible planetary damage. Through meticulous research and unflinching analysis, he shows how political cowardice and corporate greed created the perfect storm that could extinguish humanity's last chance at survival." And from one of the 13 amazon reviewers all of whom have unusually given this book 5 stars - "I’ve read over a hundred books on the cultural divide in this country and the rise and rule of Trump, but never have I seen the variables that have led to our current crisis woven together with such insight and urgency."

Aniki in Taipei was allegedly as great, something I find a little hard to believe as it catered mostly to Chinese rather than expats. But I never visited and it is now closed for good. Hutong in Hong Kong also gets very good reviews. But no sauna in Asia of which I am aware has anything like the range of facilities Babylon offered.

The railing spikes work most of the time, but I still get crows occasionally banging into windows. Yesterday I discovered a solar panel outside bird deterrent on amazon which I have ordered. East to fix to the wall and the sound it emits which humans cannot hear is supposed to be very effective. We will see! Hopefully it will not affect @Olddaddy when he finally makes it to sleep on my balcony!

I only once had Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream. I know it is hugely popular but I just didn't like it much. And that's the only reason I would not buy it. Nothing to do with Unilever. Not sure if there is anything against Movenpick ice cream which I love, but it is just too expensive, more so in Bangkok than Haagen Dazs!

An important point. I re-read @Ruthrieston's post several times and tried to imagine myself in his situation. Coming from a loving family with a brother and a sister, both eventually happily married with children and grandchildren, I actually cannot put myself into that situation no matter how hard I try. I think if my brother had acted that way and I had even seriously considered suicide just once, I simply could not forgive. I have in the past forgiven others for actions against me. But in a case such as that described, I could not.

And I am certain the one leader who is mildly smiling is Xi Jin-ping. Not that he would wish to see a war between China and the USA. But the weaker the USA becomes, the stronger is his country.

Very true. But then he had ruled like a tyrant for 30 years.

Once again you quote without any reference material! But I'll accept that, however unlikely, Putin may have changed his mind in the previous five years. There is an excellent book Collapse: The Fall of the Soviet Union. As it confirms, Putin definitely did declare in 2005 that the collapse of the Soviet Union was "the biggest geopolitical catastrophe of the century." That book by Prof. Vladislav Zubok was shortlisted for the Pushkin House Book Prize awarded for the best non-fiction writing on Russia in the English language. Zubok is one of the world's leading experts on the history of the Cold War and the Soviet Union. This is a long wide-ranging work but his conclusions will come as a surprise to many. Firstly, while the west felt Gorbachev was a leader they could work with in ending the Cold War, indeed something of a hero in their eyes, Zubok exposes his faults and character flaws that ensured his instrumental role in the process of destroying the Soviet Union. In contrast to many flattering biographical accounts, Gorbachev was a man bllinded by his idealism, striving for recognition by the liberal west and yet with an inability to acknowledge his own failures. It is worth quoting a series of excerpts from the book dealing mostly with another issue - In early 1989, the Soviet rules for foreign travel were radically relaxed. It was no longer necessary to grovel and conform to Soviet authorities, including the Party and the KGB, in order to obtain permission for a private trip abroad. During the first half of 1989, the number of approved applications for exit visas reached 1.8 million, three times more than two years earlier . . . The majority applied for a foreign Soviet passport and a permit to leave the USSR and return— for the first time in their life. Bureaucrats and officials, directors of enterprises, cooperative managers, academic scholars, scientists, artists and actors rushed under the rising curtain . . . Scholars have studied this phenomenon exclusively as a factor in bringing the Cold War to an end. Yet, it also delegitimized the Soviet system . . . Most Soviet diplomats, KGB officials, and military representatives abroad had become habituated to navigation between the West and their homeland; they lived in a kind of controlled schizophrenia. Gorbachev traveled abroad several times in the late 1960s and 1970s, and began to see a humiliating gap between the abundance in Western stores and a dearth of goods in Soviet ones. Yet this was nothing compared with the shock that thousands of Soviet people experienced when they crossed Soviet borders and visited Western countries from early 1989 onwards— many of them for the first time. For first-time Soviet travelers to the West a visit to a supermarket produced the biggest effect. The contrast between half-empty, gloomy Soviet food stores and glittering Western palaces with an abundant selection of food was mind-boggling. Not a single Soviet visitor was prepared for the sight of pyramids of oranges, pineapples, tomatoes, bananas; endless varieties of fresh fish and meat, in lieu of a butcher cutting chunks from bluish hulks from a freezer; efficient cashiers with a smiling attitude, instead of rude saleswomen doling out greasy cans and jars to a long line of desperately hungry customers. And then actually to be allowed to touch, to smell, to savor! A severe aftershock awaited Soviet visitors upon their subsequent return to the Soviet Union, and to scenes of misery. This experience changed Soviet travelers forever. Western standards, unimaginable before, immediately became the new norm. Soviet realities, part of everyday habit, suddenly became “abnormal” and therefore revolting, unbearable . . . The most consequential eye-opening experience occurred to Boris Yeltsin. In June 1989, he asked the American ambassador Jack Matlock to help him visit the United States . . . The tour began in New York on 9 September 1989 and covered eleven cities in nine states. This visit was more intense than Khrushchev’s “discovery of America” in 1959. And it was to have even more impact on the fate of the Soviet Union. Available accounts of Yeltsin’s journey vary from stories of drinking bouts, scandals, and gaffes to descriptions of his eye-opening experiences. All of them were true . . . The United States was the first country that Yeltsin had ever visited outside the Soviet Union on his own rather than as part of an official Soviet delegation. He was feted and dined by wealthy Americans, flown by private jets, and stayed in the houses of American millionaires. Although he expected the lifestyle of the super-rich to be a never-ending feast, the real shock for him was his impromptu visit to Randalls discount supermarket, on the way to Houston Airport. As a regional party secretary, Yeltsin had spent years battling with lack of food supplies in his Sverdlovsk region. His greatest achievement had been to establish a system of poultry farms near Sverdlovsk that supplemented the meagre diet of workers in the industrial plants and factories. Randalls supermarket amazed him. This was an average place where the poorest American could buy what even the top Soviet nomenklatura could not back home. In the sweltering Texan desert Yeltsin and his entourage entered an air-conditioned paradise. The aides saw Yeltsin brooding, as if he was thinking: “Does this cornucopia exist every day for everyone? Incredible!” Collapse: The Fall of the Soviet Union by Vladislav Zubok is published by Yale University Press As Angela Stent, author Putin’s World: Russia Against the West and with the Rest, writes - "In this provocative, deeply-researched retelling of Mikhail Gorbachev’s turbulent six years in the Kremlin, Zubok challenges the conventional wisdom that the USSR was destined to collapse. He attributes the demise to Gorbachev’s ideological messianism, his failed reforms and repeated policy zig-zags. A must-read for those seeking to understand how a nuclear superpower could have imploded peacefully—and why today’s Russian leaders are so determined to restore Russia’s great power status.”

It is a debate that appears in politics with conderable regularity, particularly if you live in Canada, Australia, New Zealand and other countries which were at one time colonies of Britain and now members of the Commonwealth. Still King Charles is their Head of State, despite numerous attempts to replace the British monarch. By all accounts, Queen Elizabeth was popular despite anti-royal political movements. And Charles seems to be doing a decent job. His son Prince William, it would seem, will carry on that tradition as he remains a popular heir apparent, even with concerns over his wife's long cancer treatment and the public not knowing from which type of cancer she suffered. All is not well in British royal circles, though. Thought to be the late Queen's favourite son, the once dashing Prince Andrew (nicknamed Randy Andy) is now all but avoided like the plague. Although he distinguished himself during the Faklands War, virtually since then he has been a near disaster at everything he has done. And like many others, Epstein has capped the lot. He had befriended Epstein long before the Florida jail sentence. But he then kept seeing the guy and there is one now famous pic of him and Epstein walking in Central Park. He claims that he had flown to New York to do the "honorable thing" by Epstein to tell him face to face that their friendhip was over rather than sending an email. This came long after the "other" famous pic, that of him with his arm around the young Virginia Giuffrey (who committed suicide in April earlier this year) as Epstein's fixer and now jailed Ghislaine Maxwell looks on with a smile. Andrew looked as though he might weather these storms until he decided to do what became a totally disastrous one hour television interview in 2019, the intent being to show the British public how innocent he was. This full vdo is available on youtube but this shortish analysis by a body language expert illustrates where he shows that he is basically lying throughout much of it. In the last week, though, it is this foolish man's disgraceful divorced wife who has yet again shown for the umpteenth time what an idiot and conniving jet-setter she actually is. She runs through cash like water. As a reminder, in her time in a sting operation she had attempted sell access to the royal family for a stash of cash, been photographed on a beach lounger with her financial adviser licking her toes, had an obsession with Tiger Woods and chased him across America . . . and so on. As revealed a few days ago, though, her Epstein moment is now just one of the best of the bunch, it shows her as the fickle-headed, no brain, massively extravagant over-spending idiot she has usually been portrayed to be. She knew Epstein well and had borrowed considerable sums of money from him which were never paid back. Two newspapers had published a 2011 email to Epstein. A few weeks earlier she had in an interview stated unquivocally that she had broken off all contact with him. even denouncing him. She claimed their friendship had been a "gigantic error of judgement" and he had been rightly jailed. The newly released email shows that this was all a massive sham. In her email she writes basically asking his forgiveness. "I humbly apologise to you," for what I said. "I know you feel hellaciously let down by me. You have aways been a steadfast, generous and supreme friend to me and my family." Allegedly she wrote this ridiculous email after Epstein threatened to sue her for defamation. And if you believe that . . .! That anyone in his position with Maxwell and Andrew being so close to the Queen is farcical. But then the awful Sarah Ferguson is just a one-woman farce. All of which illustrates how lucky the UK was when King George VI had to take over the throne when his stupid brother abdicated to marry the dreadful Wallace Simpson. There were clearly concerns when his daughter Elizabeth succeeded him at such an early age, but she went on to became a much-loved world figure. Had Edward VIII or Andrew got near the throne, goodness knows what might have happened to the UK. But it is not just in the UK where someone in royal circles like Prince Andrew has been able to thrive. In Norway, the son of the Crown Princess has been charged with 32 criminal offences including rape, and faces up to ten years in jail if found guilty. The former King of Spain Juan Carlos, who restored the monarchy after the Franco fascist regime, fell victim to a scandalous long-term love affair with a beautiful foreign businesswoman 25 years his junior. When finally exposed, it was discovered he had set her up in an apartment close to the Royal Palace, showered her with expensive gifts and wrote letters telling of his monotonous life with Queen Sofia. He was forced to resign. On the other hand, when we see the likes of Trump, Erdogan, Robert Mugabe or Paul Biya of Cameroon, Is there much of difference, apart from the presumed ability to kick one out at the next election? I don't see much movement to get rid of the dictators Edogan, Mugabe or Biya. In those cases they have so rigged the system they have basically become dictators. Trump seems to be doing his best to do likewise! Even so, if Heads of State were elected, I think there could have been some sort of revolution in the UK had Margaret Thatcher or Boris Johnson been elected to a Head of State position. Clearly you win some, lose some. I am more in favour of an elected Head of State, but not if they happen to be a former senior politician. They have already tasted too much power!!!

How dreadful to read your story! I was growing up ten years earlier when it was not common to see openly gay men. Even then they were usually called "poofs". A pharmacist in a shop at the end of our street was one of the few gay men we knew of. We heard tales of his attending a gay club, the only one in the city I believe, but this was always spoken of furtively. In these very changed days, I often wonder how these men managed to survive.

There are times - very few - when I wonder if what has happened in Russia following the fall of the Soviet Union is at least in part the fault of the West. It is clear from a lot of relatively recent accounts that at the start of the Cold War the West seriously overestimated the Soviet capabilities. Soviet propaganda was working overtime and many in the west actually believed it. With Gorbachev in power, this was even more well known. The Soviet Union was in dire straits, as I could see during my two visits at the end of the Cold War with so many people out on the streets desperately trying to sell their household goods - even pots and pans. The West had no desire to see the Soviet Union continue and was certainly glad when East Germany and other countries in the Soviet bloc were able to break away. But that left Gorbachev and his reforms in disaster territory. Russia was isolated and that led to Yeltsin's sudden rise to the top job. I can recall George Bush Snr. saying on television with a glint in his eye, "The Cold War is over. We won!" Sure the West won, but it left a Russia holding a large nucear arsenal and not much else at that time. Instead of gloating, could not the West have aided Russia in some way to build up a country which could become close to an ally rather than an adversary? That necessarily assumes that Russia would have wished for and accepted western assistance. But by leaving Russia to its own devices it all but ensured the rise of a man like Putin, a man who believes to this day that the end of the Soviet Union was a disaster.

Like @TMax I never felt challenged after realising I was gay during my late school years. But it was a time as @jimmie50 points out when there was a lot of homophobia about and the anti-gay legislation in England and Wales had only just changed. So I was in my own little closet for quite a few years, opening up only to less than a handful of close friends and a few sexual companions. I sometimes did go out with girls to parties at university but never in a true dating sense. I even felt bad for them because my eyes would usually only be on one or more other guys. I have never felt bisexual and even today I find it slightly strange that one person can be sexually attracted to both women and men. There are some readers on this Board who have told us they first married and have children. I often wonder if the children felt any 'different' when their parents divorced and they took up with men instead. I did meet one fascinating guy here in Bangkok. He is from Vienna, had great jobs there and then in New York, was married with two daughters, but was filled with angst knowing that he really preferred guys. At one low point in New York he stood at the apartment window and was serously considering jumping out. Thankfully he didn't. The next day he confessd all to his wife who then told him it was something she had suspected for some time. They divorced amicably, he moved to Bangkok, within a few weeks had found his gay partner and moved to a lovely house outside Chiang Mai. Once when I was having dinner with them, his two grown-up daughters were staying. All seemed perfectly happy. I hope it is true of those in a similar situation.

That was a great choice (although I know that there were family reasons). The Mezquita in Cordoba is surely one of the world's great buildings, a large double arched mosque into the middle of which the Christians placed a Cathedral after they kicked the Muslims out of Spain. In the 16th century Spain's King Charles V lamented, "You have destroyed something unique to make something commonplace." Although today it is certainly not comonplace. It is totally unique. The first time I based myself in Madrid for a week, I would go to out of city towns in the mornings like Segovia and Toledo and then spend the rest of the days exploring Madrid. In Toledo it started to rain and so I got a slightly earlier train back to the city. Seeing a cute Chinese guy, I sat across from him. At one point I opened a conversation by saying "I see we have the same Guide Book." Hearing a slight Singapore accent, I added, "I can tell you are probably from Singapore." To which he replied, "I know you come from Hong Kong!" I was floored! It turned out he had been a young civil servant in Singapore, part of a team with which I had held negotiations some years earlier. Since then, he had left the government, grown his hair a bit and was spending a few months travelling around Europe! Amazed at this coincidence, I invited him for dinner, but he said his girlfriend was waiting for him in Madrid. Bummer!

I travel in the opposite direction and prices have definitely risen significantly. In 2019 I got a Qatar business return flight to a UK city for 77,000 baht. It was a special limited time offer and had to be booked a few months in advance. But it was perfect for me. Now it is virtually impossible to get a basic Qatar ticket for under 120,000 - this despite their having 5 daily flights ex BKK including one A380. Whereas prior to Covid the price included seat selection and lounge access, now these are extra costs if you choose the cheapest fare. So that 120,000 becomes closer to 135,000. There was an offer the other week for 12% off if booked within a very short 5-day period period giving validity up to end March. EVA and Finnair have better prices but my destination is not London and having to transit Heathrow with a separately purchased BA ticket can be very expensive if flights are missed due to late arrivals etc. I have a desire to spend a few days in Oman. Reviewers give Oman Air's business class high marks but it is expensive. I may decide to try Emirates new Premium Economy and then change aircraft for economy on the short extension to Muscat. Price has certainly become more of a factor now that my stock of free miles is close to zero.

Yes, the balcony was waiting and a nice chilled bottle of white wine. Very quiet area here - apart from the bloody crows in the morning. But I see you have already gone back to Pattaya. I seriously think you should have taken me up on my suggestion of Moscow. @Moses makes it sound idyllic for gay men. He could also be your guide.

Yes the layouts have clearly changed. Personally I never liked the idea of Hua Hin being in the original list because there had been no posts for something like 18 months. Plus surely the word "Businesses" was a bit strange given that most of the comments were much more general. And there was no heading for other parts of Thailand that readers visit or are considering visiting. I certainly recall being confused about where to post about Chiang Rai and the North, the Dansai Ghost Festival and a great stay at the Marriott in Khaolak with its fabulous beach and nearby James Bond Island. I assume these can now easily be posted in the general Thai forum after the main cities. May also be something to do with the merging of the Thailand and USA sites some times ago. Seems to make more sense now and rather follows the format of the Latin America and Gay Asia forums. Although do those who visit one Latin America site find the word "Businesses" strange in that forum? Maybe makes more sense also to merge the two Latin American forums, or is there a case there for a separate "Businesses" forum? Just my view.

I miss the original Babylon big time, but was never as much a fan of the newer one as I know most readers were. Did you ever go to Chakran in its early years? With its Moroccan theme, it was more along the lines of the original Babylon plus it had a huge jacuzzi and a small swiming pool. And the vast majority of patrons were Thais. It took a while before it was discovered by other Asians and expats. Lying on a lounger by the pool sipping a vodka tonic as I watched the boys in their towels come down the open staircase on the opposite side was both incredibly relaxing and incredibly tempting. In many respects it was similar to having drinks in the bar area at the top of the original Babylon.

With respect i think it is wrong to call the Maldives a "gay hostile" country. I am sure plenty of gays go there, particularly from Asia as there are non-stop flights from several Asian airports. If you are a gay couple and staying in a water villa, I cannot imagine anyone showing any form of anti-gay sentiment. But it is certainly expensive! On the other hand, if you are basically anti-Muslim because of its anti-gay rhetoric, then you deny your chance of visiting many countries. I have been to Petra in Jordan (amazing!), to Marrakesh and Agadir in Morocco, to Doha for several days and for two weeks in one of the most amazing countries with the loveliest peoples (apart from its regime) I ever visited, Iran. Even Istanbul, another totally fabulous city, would be out of bounds now as Turkey under Erdogan has bascially reverted to being a Muslim State (with 99% of the population being Muslim). There are of course thousands of other places to visit and enjoy. I note in another forum that you are on a cruise that will stop in Bali. Indonesia, as you will be aware, is the largest islamic country on the planet. Sure, Bali is an almost unique relic of the Hinduism that spread throughout Asia prior to the founding of Islam and the vast growth of trade between Asia and Middle Eastern Islamic countries. Even so, Bali remains subject to Indonesia's laws which are relatively gay-hostile! And Muslim Java is also on your itinerary!

Before I came to Asia I made two close friendships with work colleagues. Neither knew I was gay then, although probably suspected it. Both were married, one with four children and the other with five. On many visits to the USA after I moved to Hong Kong and they - separately - to the USA, I tried to fit in long week-ends with one or other and their families. Long before then, I had realised that both my friends were bisexual. One, a very senior executive, had even told his future wife about his bisexuality before their marriage and she both understood and accepted it. When working in the US, he would take one afternoon off each week to meet up with and pay an escort. The other would never have dared tell his wife. Yet sometimes he would show me a gay DVD when staying in his US home when his wife was out shopping. How and where he hid his gay porn I have no idea, but with a wife and 4 kids roaming around the house he must have been especially careful. He had never told his wife about being bisexual and I don't think she ever discovered that 'secret'. Both marriages were actually very strong and lasted for decades to the end of their lives.