How to catch a cheating boyfriend?

[Guest anonone]

I went through the boyfriend experience about eight years ago. It was at the end of my first trip to Pattaya and I had offed a hot 18 year old from the Kaos gogo for three nights. Before I left for home I bought him a phone (this was when phones were not in general use) so as to keep in touch.

At home I was obsessed with the need to get back to Pats and see him again. We talked on the phone every couple of days and he agreed to be my boyfriend, on receipt of me sending money via Western Union. I managed to arrange a six week period where I had no work after some two months at home. Stupid I know but thats what Pattaya does to blokes like me.

On arrival in Pats I rented an appartment and he moved in with me bringing his stuff from a shared room near Tukcom. For about two weeks I was living the dream - plenty of sex and sitting on Dongtan beach with him wearing tiny speedos and getting admiring glances from other older gays sticks in my memory.

Things did not last - he became moody and more demanding for presents and money and less willing to submit to my sexual demands and wanting to spend time with his friends. I decided to dump him and one night he refused to rim me so I told him to leave. There was a shouting match but he went and I hired a taxi to take his things to his room.

After a few days I resumed gay sex mongering, but avoiding the areas where he circulated. II kept my phone off and did not reply to his texts. I never saw him again.

It was costly in money and emotion but I never went BFE again during the twenty or so visits to Thailand and Pattaya.

I concur thats its impossible to have a relationship when separated by the age gap and a different culture.

 

 

I think age gap and cultural differences can be worked out but for BFE to succeed  it must be great degree of emotional involvement for both sides not just lust and desire for steady income stream.

 

Otherwise both sides will start being bored pretty fast. Tried this on my last trip and liked it but I did not get carried over and we parted our ways both happy I guess, I was for sure.  

 

There is a diffference between hiring a full time sex partner (BFE) and actually having a Thai Boyfriend...at least in my mind.  Seems like you both were in BFE and did not have a boyfriend..and had differening degrees of success with your BFE.  There is absoluttely nothing wrong with BFE, but please don't base your opinion of the viabilty of actual relationships on your BFE experience. 

 

It is possible (and fun) to have a Thai BF, regardless of age difference or culture difference...if you actually enjoy each others company, have shared interests, and in fact love each other.  Not always easy....involves compromise....sometimes we "fight"...you know, just like any other relationship.  If we ever break up, it will not mean that such a relationship is not possible.  Hell, any relationship is fraught with pitfalls and many never go the distance.  It doesn't mean the love was not "real", nor that a lasting relationship isn't possible. 

[NIrishGuy]

"Not always easy....involves compromise....sometimes we "fight"...you know, just like any other relationship."

 

Amen to that Brother ! I'm currently in "fight" mode with my questionable better second half Asian BF right now ( something to do with his BF deciding to fuck off to Thailand and Bali fucking for month I believe but that took about about two weeks to get to that WAS the actual cause of our ongoing fight of course with a mountain of drama being thrown in along the way just to ensure I couldn't actually work out what was wrong and have an adult conversation about that - god forbid eh !

 

But yes it cracks me up when smug bastards / friends here in my Country all think they know it all when if you mention to them some minor tiff you might have had over breakfast over him forgetting to put the milk back in the fridge or some nonsense they look at you in a "well, are you surprised, I mean what do you expect when you're with one of those Asian guys and I'm right in saying he is younger than you....isn't he ?   

 

As if they have some god given right either to comment at all or that they know SO much more than you and that their relationship with their wife / girlfriend / boyfriend is better and is of course a REAL one, whereas the guy you're with well "hell, sure it's only one of those Asian guys you're with", absolutely does my head in, like THEY don't fight with their partner ever ??

 

The fact that he works 12 hours shifts in our local hospital, doesn't matter as there's always that knowing look as if to say " oh don't worry of course we all know he's just your money boy / here for a passport / insert any other racial slur" - of which none are true of course as he's already a British permanent right to reside long before he met me and works his ass off to provide for himself and doesn't get and more importantly would be horrified at the thought of taking a dime from me ever.  But hey never let the facts get in the way of a good old racist character assassination of someone just because they fit your negative stereotypes eh !!  Grrr ok rant over !  lol

 

And anyway I still just think that deep down they're just jealous as when they fight with their fat ugly wives and it's all over they still end up with just a fat ugly wive who's just that little bit more pissed off with them for the next week, whereas when we fight I've always the great make up sex to look forward to so fuck them I win !  lol

[Guest anonone]

"I'm currently in "fight" mode with my questionable better second half Asian BF right now ( something to do with his BF deciding to fuck off to Thailand and Bali fucking for month"

 

 

Classic.  LOL

 

My BF has long ago accepted my sexual appetite and views it with some amusement.  Now we save fighting for the really important things...you know, what movie to go see or how long it takes him to primp and prime before going out. 

 

Actually, it has been a long time since we have gotten into any major disagreement.  We get along well and understand each other more then I would have thought possible. 

 

And it doesn't hurt that I still find him one of the sexiest Thai boys I have ever met. 

[vinapu]

It is possible...if you actually enjoy each others company, have shared interests, and in fact love each other.

I agree with you and it's why I said it must be great degree of emotional involvement 

[kokopelli]

Perhaps I am naive or just an idiot, but I have never understood the idea of saying all new members are trolls.  I don't see this and don't understand it. 

 

 

 

Z is often right on many things but I often think a little too quick to jump the gun on trolls. 

 

Maybe the question is are all new members trolls or are all trolls new members?

 

On this forum there have been a number of new members trolling. If the OP posed his question as rhetorical then valid but that was not the case. He even changed his posting name when answering one of the questions posed by a member. So what was that about?  Looking to get caught??

 

Nonetheless I suppose many of us have wondered what the bf has been doing or who he has been doing while we are gone.

And, no doubt, some are insanely jealous. I know one farang who was aghast that his boy du jour was not in love with him.

When it come to Thai bf what does love have to do with it?

[kokopelli]

 

 

But yes it cracks me up when smug bastards / friends here in my Country all think they know it all when if you mention to them some minor tiff you might have had over breakfast over him forgetting to put the milk back in the fridge or some nonsense they look at you in a "well, are you surprised, I mean what do you expect when you're with one of those Asian guys and I'm right in saying he is younger than you....isn't he ?   

 

As if they have some god given right either to comment at all or that they know SO much more than you and that their relationship with their wife / girlfriend / boyfriend is better and is of course a REAL one, whereas the guy you're with well "hell, sure it's only one of those Asian guys you're with", absolutely does my head in, like THEY don't fight with their partner ever ??

 

 

 

 

Irish, I have experienced the same type of reaction with friends back in the home country. Their relationship is oh so pure even to the point of not having sex but oh so judgmental  of my relationship with by Thai bf. I finally  had to tell one of them to keep his mouth shut with his slurs and comments about my bf.  Probably jealous since the only sex they get is with Mary Fist.

[Guest]

Z is often right on many things but I often think a little too quick to jump the gun on trolls.

Maybe I am sometimes too quick, but in this case, quite a few others are making the main call.

 

My main point was intended to be how many handles should one person be operating on a single board?

 

[incidentally, unless my memory is failing me, at least one post has disappeared from this thread].

[TotallyOz]

Maybe I am sometimes too quick, but in this case, quite a few others are making the main call.

 

My main point was intended to be how many handles should one person be operating on a single board?

 

[incidentally, unless my memory is failing me, at least one post has disappeared from this thread].

 

IMHO, one person should not be allowed more than one persona on any board.  I have always said that when there is definitive proof of a person using multiple handles, they should be deleted. But, that is a high burden.

[firecat69]

Bottom line, I don't care.  This has been a pretty interesting and informative thread .  If in fact it was started by a Troll, it has morphed into something quite interesting and that is what Message Boards are supposed to be about.

[Guest alwaysnick]

If you're so insecure and unduly possessive that you need to spy on your boyfriend then he probably has no respect for you. Get some balls and be a man. 

 

What are you going to do if you catch him chatting to other guys? You'll probably get all psycho and he'll have an even clearer reason to break up with you. 

[a447a]

I enjoy a QBFE - a quasi boyfriend experience...lol.

 

I spend my holiday with the same guy every time I go to Pattaya. We meet at 2:30pm and he goes back to his room at around 1 or 2 in the morning. And I think that's why we never have any problems. We don't spend the entire holiday together. He needs time apart and so do I. I think if we lived together it might be different.

 

I met him by chance. I'd offed a guy from Eros and the next night I was sitting in a beer bar and he came up to say hello. He had this really handsome guy with him. I just knew he was the one. Next night I went back to Eros and there he was! Unfortunately, he was sitting with a customer, but as soon as he left I called him over. And surprise surprise! He turned out to be hung like a donkey! We chatted for quite a while in the bar and I just loved his personality. Unlike many of the other guys in Eros, he was quiet and reserved. I sat there holding his cock, actually feeling a little guilty. Should I be doing this, I thought. I offed him and the rest is history.

 

At first he was very shy (still is) and although we talked a lot he never spoke much about himself. He always seemed guarded. Now he tells me everything - including stuff I'd rather be didn't...lol. He's completely open about everything and is a great conversationalist. He's also very knowledgeable about what's going on in the world and often surprises me with what he knows....and sometimes what he doesn't know! After all this time we still have lots of things to talk about. Luckily, his English is quite good.

 

He's a veteran of the bar scene - he's worked at a number of bars over the years - so I find his insight into what goes on there fascinating. And he's told me some interesting things about some of the more weird customers he's had over the years.

 

Anonone, are you still with that cute guy? I'm guessing you probably are.

[Guest anonone]

Yes, still with the same guy.  4 years now. 

 

I like your new expression....QBFE .  Great.

[NIrishGuy]

A447a said....."I sat there holding his cock"

 

See, and who said that romance is dead !!   lol

[a447a]

Lol

[kokopelli]

 

 He turned out to be hung like a donkey! 

 

 

At first I thought I had a similar encounter with the same shy and reserved boy. But after reading that donkey bit I was very wrong.

[biguyby]

Really??? If I were him, I'd head for the nearest 7-Eleven to get free sex, because all the boys there are lusting after my fat ass.

lol - I've met a couple of guys in the 7-Eleven but in my case they weren't interested in my fat ass but really liked my thin wallet

[ChristianPFC]

Can you both elaborate on your 7/11 guys? There is one near where I live, I could easily find out when he works (just take note every time I pass and assemble his work schedule), but then I would have to get to his counter and talk to him while other customers are waiting and pass my phone number?

[biguyby]

I met my first 7-Eleven cutie at the now demolished X-Zyte Disco on 3rd Road Pattaya and after the first meeting I would call into the shop on Soi Buakhao where he worked and arranged to go for a meal or drink when he had finished work.

 

I met another very cute and friendly guy at the 7-Eleven on Buakhao Soi 15 just behind the Avenue Shopping Mall I came out of the shop and he was standing outside on his break playing with his phone I had been served by him in the shop a few times so I just stared to chat about his very nice iPhone etc etc. just to clarify the liaisons were NOT free I tipped 1000 baht short time to both cuties. Both were over 20 years old with ID.

 

I still see the Soi 15 guy occasionally.

[paulsf]

I have a 7-eleven across the street from my apartment in Bangkok and another one down the block. They both have only female employees, so no luck here. But I notice when I go in at 2am with bf, he gets a lot better service than me. Suppose it helps he speaks Thai.

[Gaybutton]

I would have to get to his counter and talk to him while other customers are waiting and pass my phone number?

 

I don't think trying to pick up a 7-Eleven boy while he is waiting on other customers is a good idea.  This is one time I would suggest holding off until he's not waiting on people.  As long as you're busy making note of his work schedule, talk to him when there's nobody waiting to pay, when he's not at the cash register, when he's restocking, when he's on a break, etc.

 

You could also just go in and buy something often enough that you can smile and say something quick as he's taking your money.  He'll get to recognize you.  It shouldn't take long to see if the "vibes" are good.  If they are, just slip him a piece of paper with your name and phone number on it, while you're paying, and say "I hope you will call me when you have time."  I've done that even when it was the first time I was ever in the store.  Sometimes I do get a call and sometimes I don't.

[TotallyOz]

I don't think trying to pick up a 7-Eleven boy while he is waiting on other customers is a good idea.  This is one time I would suggest holding off until he's not waiting on people.  As long as you're busy making note of his work schedule, talk to him when there's nobody waiting to pay, when he's not at the cash register, when he's restocking, when he's on a break, etc.

 

You could also just go in and buy something often enough that you can smile and say something quick as he's taking your money.  He'll get to recognize you.  It shouldn't take long to see if the "vibes" are good.  If they are, just slip him a piece of paper with your name and phone number on it, while you're paying, and say "I hope you will call me when you have time."  I've done that even when it was the first time I was ever in the store.  Sometimes I do get a call and sometimes I don't.

 

You had me scared when you were talking about slipping him something.  For a moment, I had a Bill Cosby moment and thought the worst but then you brought it back home with slipping him your number.  I do think this is a good way to do this and again, I think Gaybutton has given excellent advice. 

 

I'd only add that if he have another Thai boy, have him chat him up to see if any interest. 

[kokopelli]

 

 

You could also just go in and buy something often enough that you can smile and say something quick as he's taking your money.  He'll get to recognize you.  

 

If you visit the 7-11 on regular basis then try leaving some of your change as a tip to him which might perk his interest.

And don't forget the Family Marts in addition to 7-11.

[Gaybutton]

You had me scared when you were talking about slipping him something.

 

You only have to be scared of that if I'm meeting you . . .

[Gaybutton]

try leaving some of your change as a tip to him

 

ChristianPFC leave change?  That'll be the day . . .

[abidismaili]

lol - I've met a couple of guys in the 7-Eleven but in my case they weren't interested in my fat ass but really liked my thin wallet

 

Doesn't that go for all?

They do it for the money or the money they silently expect coming their way. Unless you are young yourself. Most moneyboys I talk to say they have as upper limit 60. So then that limit surely must apply for the non-moneyboys. If a 60+ guy picks up a 7-11 boy than that boy is 40,  or - if he is around 20 - than he wants or expects money and you will not get him a second time if you did not pay the first time. Mark my words.