ONLY A GAY PERSON WILL UNDERSTAND THE AGONY I'M GOING THRU.

[Guest shyatfirst]

thank you williewillie . for your posting. I can go on and on about it all but im worried that it would become boring . however I will now give a lttle more insight to the problem , yes I finally got the courage to say goodbye a while back after finding out he wanted to care for someone else for 2 months. I mentioned about the 4 year old kid that suddenly arrived intpo the household. and was told it was the sisters kid, now so many things didn't add up I rather suspect that it is actually his kid and there is no sister , I think he is married or the girl in prison is actually his gf or whatever,.

 

And yes in the last 3 weeks I have been plagued with sms messages from him asking for help telling me his grandmother (looking after that kid ) is sick in hosp[ital. and he needs 6000 baht to pay for the room in khon kaen hospital. then 1 week ago he asks again for another 8 000 this time its for a supposedly 5 acre sugar cane farm he owns in udon than and the money is needed for fertiliser for the cane.

 

OH and more about the house I bought that I was tricked into buying .

 was initially told that it was his grandmothers house but his mama forged the grandmas signature on the papers and borrowed from a loan shark in the village,

 I smelt a rat about that part because I went with him and this so called  loan shark to the government office to change over the title deeds and the loan shark( incidentally he did not strike me as a loan shark but in fact was a wealthy retired business person in the village ) spoke a little English and just happened to say to me when the bf went to toilet , "that he was a bit sorry having to sell the house as he had been trying to sell it for 6 months and he wanted to try and keep it in the family if he could , but as my bf was pestering him to buy it he relunctantly agreed to do so.adding  TO HELP THE BOY OUT now that he had a farang BF (ME)

 

Oh wait theres more in fact much more to the lies and deception this prick laid on me while I was his pet ATM... AAAGGGHHH  whats the use of crying after one has been scammed. but I will tell you this , never ever again will I be so trusting and free with my money as I have been with that PERSON. LOVE ITS ALL BULLSHIT . ONLY LOVE PART OF IT IS "HIS LOVE OF MY MONEY AND STUPIDITY.

[Bob]

I can't judge whether this is a total windup or an actual true story but, presuming it's the later, the scenario presents naivete that's simply breathtaking.

[Guest shyatfirst]

well BOB if you are saying its not true then do you want to meet him for yourself and see how you go ???????  BECAUSE IT FUCKING TRUE EVERY WORD AND Pal for your info theres plenty more juicy details for you to gloat over if you want ???>

yews I been a stupid trusting caring old fool .. but have I been the only foreinger that's been suckefd into a situation like this believing in someone that displayed the hihhest principles and so much emphasis he showed me him being a devout Buddhist.  A PROFESSIONAL LIAR SCAMMER AND CHEAT. by manipulating my softness and good hearted nature, because that's what kind of person I am. AND I PAYED THE PRICE FOR MY TRUSTING NATURE, so please back off slinging insults at me for being so gullible. not everyone is hard and string willed

 

   NOW YOU KNOW WHY I WAS BEGINING TO GET APREHENSIVE AND DELAYED ABOUT LETTING IT ALL OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE ON THIS FORUM

[Guest shyatfirst]

I apologise for sounding rude and the use of bad language previously with what I posted. It upset me very much after I finally got up enough courage to start to let some of it out as I have now done. only to read that I am being called a liar and that what I tell is not true. if you people could only know just how soft hearted and compassionate I am then you would realise why I was such an easy target. ok sorry again . its all still very raw to me and im trying so hard to move on from it.but I do take offence in being humiliated further than I already have been by that person . I certainly do not like copping a double dose by people on this site..

[farangyai]

ShyatFirst said:  I am not trolling , fake or telling lies. please believe me.

 

It would be much easier to believe someone if it didn't take two weeks to tell at least some basic facts of the story.

 

As others have commented, we have no way of knowing whether it is true or not. Assuming it is true, you are not the first one to be professionally lied to in the Land of Smiles. Don't let the Buddhist atmosphere fool you. Many on this board could point out to you the signs that you were being scammed and you should certainly see them all in retrospect.

 

The best thing anyone can do is to learn from their mistakes and MOVE ON. It sounds like there were many missteps in your situation as you seem to have moved apparently totally unaware down the path of the scam. How would you change that next time?  Rehashing it and beating yourself up over it serves no useful purpose. But it is useful to analyze the situation and learn what you could have done differently. If some Thai guy wanted to latch onto you tomorrow- what would you do differently??

 

Tell yourself you just paid for a very expensive course on how not to be scammed.  Now- what did you learn?

[kokopelli]

Shyatfirst; good to read that you have overcome your shyness  by sharing your misfortune with us.

 

My only advice, based on my experiences, is to change your cell number so impossible to receive any more calls and SMSs. Also if he has your email then change that. Yes, it is a nuisance but well worth it. I have done this more than once to rid myself of pests.

And yes, do go elsewhere on your next visit to avoid any contact with this guy.

[Guest Guideneeded]

What an awful situation. I'm really sorry to hear you have been subjected to this kind of deception.

 

A stark reminder of just how gullible we can be when blinded by love.

[Guest shyatfirst]

UPDATE. yes this is a very bad situation I find myself in. Its on my mind 24/7. I am taking notice of everything that is suggested by you guys here and it does help with having someplace to let it all out on. I really will have to consider changing phone number and break off all communication with him. Just to give you some update on things, I mentioned about him asking me recently for 6000 for his grandmas hospital room in kohn kaen, well being the fool I am I actually did send it to him 1 hour after he asked me for it. I have copied and pasted his actual request to me but its in thai so I had to translate it on google.

 

I also mentioned just a few days ago he asked me for another 8000 this time for a 5 acre sugar cane farm he reckons he has in udon thani. this is the first I ever heard about that cane farm but I told him NO way could I send him just at present. Then he completely lost his temper and kept screaming at me on the phone saying I HAD TO COMMIT TO HIM 100% and kept saying it over and over again and he was completely irrational and kept saying  commit to him .. in the end I hung up and not said another word since to him. that was on the 15th January.

 

then on the 16th January I got this sms from him. this time it was in English so I imagine he had someone write it for him because he cannot write English. only very little, most communication by sms or emails I have to translate into english on google. here are some of the things I have been subjected to lately. (I copy and paste them here to try and prove the truth about what ive posted.

 

 

   ( about wanting another 8000 for sugar cane farm ( never knew about any farm until now)

 

16. Jan. 2014 - 22:08

It you sure to sen me money for that I will go to see you for sure but I dot think you can do.

 

 

 12 .Jan. 2014 -  11:20         ( 4 sms this is about 6000 bt he asked and I sent him, supposedly for his grandma in hospital. )

 

เขาป่วยมากผมส่งเขาไปขอนแก่น

ผมขอยืมเงินคุณก่อนผมจะส่งคืนให้คุณในเดือนมีนาคมเพราะผมตัดออย

 

ตอนนี้ค่ารักษา 6000 บาท ถ้าไม่จ่ายก่อนเทียงวัน จะเพิ่มขัึ้น 2000 ต่อวันเป้็ค่าห้องน

 

ได้โปรดช่วยผมด้วย โปรดให้คำผมด้วยผมจะได้โทรบอกรถมารับ

[Bob]

Let me get this straight.  You post a message on this board on January 5th saying you're in agony and you've been scammed and cheated by this guy.  Now you say you're still sending him money on January 12th? 

 

The January 12th money, supposedly, was for his grandma in a hospital.  Have you ever heard of the 30-baht health scheme (which almost all rural grandmas use)? 

[Guest shyatfirst]

that's correct I sent the money for his grandmother hospital, expences. because I have met her many times ( 87 years old) and felt compassion for her, He told me he had her transferred her to a none govt hospital in khon kaen for better treatment, yes I do know that thais don't pay at government hospitals, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt because of his pleadings to me for help..

 

Yes since 16 December from when he told me that time he was going to care for this other guy for 2 months when it all started to hit home on me. From 16 December up until when I first posted on January 5th was when everything started to come home to me the enormity of the situation I had got myself into, however after the 16th January was when I realise beyond any doubt I had to get out of it all. so I began to post everything the last couple of days on this site.

[Alexx]

Alright, that story by itself could be true, private hospitals are more expensive and the care people tend to get under the 30 baht scheme often isn't all that great. That said, you really have to come to a decision if you still want to believe him and help him, or not.

 

If the answer is no, do go ahead and cut off each and every way he can contact you - otherwise it's pretty much guaranteed that he'll continue to suck you in with pleas for help, true or invented or (most likely) a combination of both.

[Guest shyatfirst]

 The final update.

                              I take this opportunity to thank everyone here who gave me the advise on my position. I overlook those comments that were no flattering to me but hey I can understand why some would think it to be over the top and not factual. I have heeded the advise of many and have removed and destroyed both sim cards from my 2 phones and now have a new number. I have deleted every email and set up a new yahoo email a/c.

 

So people I want to put it all to bed and behind me and do not want to continue boring everyone here with it all any longer. The more I keep writing about it all just gets me more cranky with myself for being a complete idiot for so long. From now on I have the experience to understand about thai boys and what their real agenda is in wanting a "farang boyfriend". and I will take everything that' they tell me with a grain of salt.

 

Hopefully any future postings by me will be happier postings. Now I have to come to a decision where to go for the holiday from 14 march. as much as the thought of just staying in Bangkok sounds ok on the surface, however I don't know a thing about there and being alone would be a bit of a challenge I think because I do not know any places  and finding suitable hotel / guest house close to where the "action is could be a bit of a worry. so now I want to put it all to bed forever once and for all ... THANK YOU AGAIN EVERYBODY      

[traveller123]

I suspect it won't make you feel any better but I would like to re-assure you that there are decent loving Thai guys out there.

I started coming to Thailand on holiday about 8 years met a couple of guys who I very soon realized were only interested in money.

5 years ago I met my current partner who is 35 years younger than me.

He never asked me for money, but one evening I phoned him from the UK and asked him where he was - he told me he was in a bar where he used to work and when I asked why, he said he was borrowing money because his mum was very sick and he wanted her to go to a private hospital

I told him I would send him the money (20,000 baht) - I don't know why I did it, but I instinctively knew he was different from the other guys.

It was the best money I have ever spent.

When I returned to Thailand 6 months later he took me to visit his mother and she was very sick and passed away 5 months later.

We took our relationship very slowly until we were both sure.

He came to live with me in the UK for 2 and 1/2 years where we had a Civil Partnership ceremony.

When I was sure we were both committed and he, as well as me, knew our good and bad points we bought land (in his name with a 30 year lease for me) in Isaan and a year ago built a house.

He is a great guy and really considers me and for my part I have to be prepared to trust him and appreciate he needs to see his friends and speak Thai or Khymer without me around.

For what it's worth, my view is don't give up on Thai men, its possible to meet  'the real deal" but take it slowly particularly with the financial side of things.

[vinapu]

greedy and scheming supposed- to- be- lovers are not endemic to Thailand, they are everywhere. 

 

Thai boys just happen to be easier available   as country has reputation as gay Mecca and draws us from all over.

 

Mixture of lust and guilt makes us more   susceptible to open wallets so  some are taking advantage of situation and creating skillfully holes shayatfirst and others falling in and doing it willingly and with pleasure before is too late.

 

Two happy endings here - shayatfirst finally came to his senses or so it looks like and traveller123 story confirms that decency can be found everywhere and Thai boys are as decent as as any others, thanks God they have less body hair and softer skin  though !

[Guest shyatfirst]

:good:and you forgot to mention they usually have bigger dicks, well the few thai ones ive seen anyway (especially isanites)

[vinapu]

:good:and you forgot to mention they usually have bigger dicks,  

nice to see you back in regular , not depressed form !

 

As long as I'm concern small dick is OK as long as is attached to nice face and body

[Guest MikkeS69]

Hello everyone!

I just returned home one week ago from the land of smile after visiting Pattaya for 2 weeks.

I found this site while browsing the net and was looking for fellow mates with similar feelings like ShyAtFirst.

When I was in Pattaya I found this kind man named Gak. I fell in love with him and so did he with me.

We had great sex and it looked like we shared something special.

He was hard working man. Had 2 different  jobs and suportting his family.

He had a dream to change his life and future and move to Europe.
In order to achieve that he needed to learn german language.  The course costed 32000b but he did not had that money.
He was about to sell his motorbike in order to get into that course. I gave him the money for that course.

Then my vacation was over but we had good connection all the time after I returned home... chatting in whatsapp and I called him many times.

Then his grandpa got sick and there was suddenly a hospital bill 26000b. Again he told that he has to sell his bike.
I was about to send more money but I thought that I have to check some details first.

I asked him to send me a picture of his german teacher... never received it... and the price of that german course was something else on the website of that school.

Last Saturday I noticed that my man was much closer to me (Grindr shows the distance) and I realised that he is in Bangkok. I asked over Grindr how long is he going to be in BKK. He replied that he is at work in Pattaya not in BKK... and Grindr shows the wrong location. I wondered that abit... And he was very hurt when I did not believed him.

Finally I found his GayRomeo-account and saw some guestbook entries. I contacted one of those entry maker and found out that he was dating my man same time as me and I found out some of his stories were lies.

After that I chatted with my Thai love in the last time. When I told him, that I have found out some bad details,  it was for him just a cold end of his game with me and he said "bye forever". All his stories were lies. Btw He was attending  a foamparty in BKK,

It was small amount money to me... I don't regret that but the feeling when you found out that you have been scammed and it has so much to do with your deep feelings, love. There was never love on his side. It was just a game for him and that he was trying to get my money. He was good on what he was doing. But I think in Pattaya it is always about the game how to get the money from foreigner.

This is also somewhat sad moment for me and that is why I wrote this as my therapy and shared this with you guys...

 

[williewillie]

It's really sad when the old farang is broke and deep in debt. Some of the worst cases end up homeless beggars living

on the charity of others. Many become flying farangs. There are men like this living in church shelters and orphanages

in Pattaya. No visas, expired passports and ruined lives.

But, my boyfriend is different and even though I am 50 years older and morbidly obese, I know it's real and every word he

says is the gospel truth. He told me he only likes very old men with hairy bodies. He has my PIN number, credit cards,

bank accounts and all my cash, about 10 million baht. My new iPhone iPad and 5 baht gold necklace are missing and there's

no furniture in the house, only another family who claim they bought it. He won't have sex with me and says he doesn't

like sex. I am lucky to have found true love but I sure miss having a roof over my head and hot water and food.

But, love is all you need.

[Guest abang1961]

Yes the tales go on and on.

It is sad that time and again, some fresh-on-board farangs fall for the same experience.

I am Asian and it is sad that for every Thai out there who is scheming on others, they always have a sick parent, a dying bovine and lots of younger siblings.

 

Mike, sad to hear your story but glad it is all over. Just one question, the German course cost THB 32000.  That is a whole lot of money down the drain... most language courses should be within the THB 10000 range (maximum)... Never mind, lesson learnt.

 

So for well-off farangs, give whatever you desire.

For the rest of us, give sparingly.

[Guest shyatfirst]

to mike S69 I have just read your posting and I can understand how you must feel , it leaves a sour taste when you find out the truth about someone that we cared and did so much for doesn't it ?. one thing for sure I will be much more cautious about what I am told in future by any thai gays.. lesson leant the hard way  both for you, myself and no doubt many other foreigners who go to Thailand looking for something and someone special in life.

[Bob]

While some of these events MAY have happened in Thailand, I don't see any of the alleged events as either "Thai" or "gay." This stuff happens everywhere with straight and gay couples although it's fairly obvious that it happens much more often in areas with a higher percentage of sex workers.  

 

I'm not sure if williewillie is attempting to paraphrase a moral lesson or is actually indicating that he has given his a "boyfriend" his pin number, credit account information, all his cash, etc.  Whoever does that with anybody who's not a long-term partner is just being plain stupid and, if it happens to involve a "boyfriend" in a long-distance relationship, I'd raise the ante there to felonious stupidity.  Somewhat the basis for a future story involving a "Darwin moment."

[kokopelli]

Mike, thanks for posting your experience. It is a good reminder of what most of us have gone through at least once, and often many more times.

 

Bob, I hope that willie-willie was joking! I just lent him 100,000 TB to send his boyfriend to London for a summer scholarship program as part of his studies at the University in Bangkok.

[williewillie]

Of course, just kidding but there are lots of brain dead farangs who fit my tongue-in-cheek profile. Many times more

heteros but plenty of gay suckers too.

Too much temptation is foolish any place in the world but to overwhelm dirt poor teenagers is asking for the shaft.

You can't buy love, only rent it.

 

Nobody learns, even many of those who have been scammed and the games go on. The worst suckers don't even get any sex

Just love talk, trust me talk and maybe a kiss on the forehead.

It all boils down to denial. After all my boy is different.

[vinapu]

Mikkes69, look at bright side, sex was great and by your own admission money given to him was not that much to you, I'd say lucky you on both accounts.

 

You are not first one taken for  a ride and will be many more, may be that's  the price  some people need to pay  for buying nice illusions, cherish memories of bed activities with him and move on. Nice revenge you took by posting his review in he GR section.

At least you contributed a bit to more just distribution of world's wealth

 

I agree with williewillie, it seems nobody learns, everybody thinks his boy / girlfriend is different.  

[Alexx]

Mike, sad to hear your story but glad it is all over. Just one question, the German course cost THB 32000.  That is a whole lot of money down the drain... most language courses should be within the THB 10000 range (maximum)... Never mind, lesson learnt.

Yeah but see, that's a very good point! When you're fresh from "Farang Land", 32,000 THB for a language course doesn't sound like a lot of money. It took me quite a while of actually living in Thailand to get a good idea about prices here, and even more importantly, to put them into perspective regarding typical Thai salaries.

 

That said, some Thais have serious money and the fees some of the private schools and universities charge are quite high. So while 32,000 THB is an outlandish demand coming from a regular (low-income) Thai guy for a run-of-the-mill language course and therefor certainly warrants caution and scrutiny, some people do pay that and more for their education.