Guest shyatfirst Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Hello to all, ONLY A GAY PERSON WILL UNDERSTAND THE AGONY I'M GOING THRU. I need to tell my story how I have been used cheated scammed by a guy that I considered to be boyfriend over many years, and its come to the point where its at now I don't know where to turn... I have been wanting to get it all of my chest as I am somewhat of a loner and I don't have any where else to turn for some understanding and possible help except online forum. I know about that other thai visa site forum but I don't want to post it on there because I think most of the people on it are straight guys and I think they would humiliate and scorn me with insensitive remarks and comments. After reading every postings I could find on this site it seems that most of the topics are of happy experiences that gay people have had on visits to Thailand. Unfortunately my experience has not been a happy one and its really got me down and its ripping my guts and heart out .BUT I don't know if this particular forum and site is ok to post it on as I cannot see any other posts from anyone detailing being with a topic such as my one. IS THIS FORUM OK TO POST MY SITUATION ON , hopefully a moderator or whoever can advise me if to proceed and let it all out on this site. I am not trolling , fake or telling lies. please believe me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abang1961 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 So what is your issue? How can we understand if there is no background scenario painted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest buckbee Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Welcome to the forum shyatfirst and sorry about your situation. As AB61 wrote above we don't know what happened. This forum is fine to post about your situation, that's what its for to discuss things and then we maybe able to offer our opinions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest trailrider Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 abang is right. You must give us more info for us to understand what you require as advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zombie Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Being scammed by a B/F is not unique to you. Assuming you are genuine tell us your story in detail as there are plenty of astute posters here who can give their opinion. vinapu and KhorTose 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinapu Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 get if off your chest, this alone will bring some relief, there were stories like yours before , zombie is right. This forum is not famous for insensitive remarks and comments - it's why lots of us are here so raise your head and not be afraid KhorTose 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Not my business to tell somebody not to treat the board as a "Dear Abby" column but it may not be such a good idea. As far as I know, not too many posters here are trained with dealing with depression and/or mental health issues and, additionally, I'm doubtful if the OP can distinguish good advice versus bad advice. OP (Mr. Shy), if you're really going through something you feel is really serious, your best choice is likely to talk it over with a qualified psychologist or, at worst, with a close friend who actually knows you and may be familiar with your situation. Just my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexx Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Yes, just post it to get it off your chest, that's a good idea. It might even serve as a warning for others. vinapu 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinapu Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Bob, I don't believe you wanted to say that I'm doubtful if the OP can distinguish good advice versus bad advice. Like all of us he can, he should and he must distinguish between those two. Well trained professionals, well meaning friends and street wise strangers can only do and tell us that much . At end of day it is us who will be living with our choices, either made under influence of others or made solely by us because we did not want to hear what others have to say. kokopelli 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Bob, I don't believe you wanted to say that Yes, I did and I meant it with good intentions. Our and other message boards are sometimes great places to turn for general information, some camaraderie, and often entertainment. The OP, however, is apparently talking about having difficulty dealing with some personal "agony" and crisis and, if his situation is as acute as he suggests, I don't believe turning to any message board as a method to try to resolve it is a very wise choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest buckbee Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 That's true Bob but he's already turned here, picked GT and made his decision and asked if we can help. He feels that he needs to get it off his chest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firecat69 Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 He has certainly not responded to the positive replies so may have decided to keep it private or it may have just been a big put on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I initially had some of the same thoughts, Firecat, but honestly don't know one way or the other; regardless, presuming that the OP's partial description is relatively true, I hope he gets it resolved satisfactorily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinapu Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Whatever he decides, it's clear from posts above OP has our understanding and support Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shyatfirst Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 thank you to all that have replied. I have taken notice of all that has been said and I will tell it all that's been going on. But please I must emphasise that I am genuine , that I am not attempting any sympathy. I am not mental and don't feel the need for psychiatric treatment. But I know that I am somewhat depressed and have been for some time now and I don't intend suicide or self harm just very upset and feel so down for being so trusting and stupid,. at the same time for not listening to my instincts and my suspicions over the last 3 years about "him".. It will take me hours to type it all out so please bear with me people thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest buckbee Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Hi, no problems, post away when you feel ready, some of us may have been in your situation and maybe able to help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokopelli Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 ....... just very upset and feel so down for being so trusting and stupid,. at the same time for not listening to my instincts and my suspicions over the last 3 years about "him".. Welcome to the club. KhorTose 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KhorTose Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Welcome to the club. Probably the biggest club in the world. If you haven't had it happen to you at some time, you probably have never really lived. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinapu Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 see shyatfirst, consolations are flowing from right, left and center Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luvthai Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 When dealing with thai guys we have all been thru the lie and cheating part. But it does harden you and make you tougher in future dealings, there are good ones out there but family and peer pressure on them is very real and make it hard to deal with them honestly. I am now a confirmed butterfly and find that It is easier deal with the darlings as one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangyai Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I agree with LuvThai above. I am also a confirmed Butterfly and find it much easier. I also have a few Thai friends where the only expectation is to hang out and have a good time together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangyai Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 ShyatFirst- I think we have identified the problem in your relationship. If you communicated by email, your bf probably got married and had a family in between your messages and lost interest and concluded you were a fake. kokopelli 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williewillie Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 ShyatFirst- I think we have identified the problem in your relationship. If you communicated by email, your bf probably got married and had a family in between your messages and lost interest and concluded you were a fake. Bf might have died of boredom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shyatfirst Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 SO SORRY EVERY ONE I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO WORK OUT HOW TO COPY AND PASTE ONTO THIS SITE, I HAVE BEEN USING ANOTHER TYPE OF WORD AND IT NEVER ALLOWED ME TO COPY AND PASTE. NOW I HAVE FOUND OUT HOW TRO DO IT>>>>, the reason why I did not proceed with my story is because I settled down after a week or so from it all and as it was going to end up a lengthy article I guessed it would have become a bit boring to read it all. however if you and others are really wanting to hear it then I will post it. but I do realise from what someone else had posted that I would not have been the only person that has been scammed lied to and cheated by a thai guy that was considered a boyfriend. to give you personally just a little insight to what happened . last year he talked me into buying a house in his village si that we could live there each time I was in Thailand. After I bought that house (in his name ) I came back tpo Australia , when returned to Thailand I discovered that he had moved his while family into the house, consequently no room for me.I have been sending him so much money by western unioun amounting to no less that 390000 bht over the last 16 months. then as a final blow to the deception by him I was going back to visit him in December 18th. when I was on phone to him on the 16th December he informed me to put off coming there until march as he would be busy CARING for his thai friends ENGLISH BOYFREIND for a couple of months. ( the English guy was arriving on the 20th December and staying for 2 months. so I ask you haw the f**k would you feel if supporting someone for 2 years with so much money , buying property for him , then being told he was busy caring for some other guy . who he tells me there has nothing been going on between thenm both.. man oh man there is so many other things as well . including a 4 year ol;d kid that suddenly came on the scene that I was told was his sisters kid and she working in Bangkok. then 2 months latter find out the sister is actually in monkey house (prison khon kaen for dealing drugs. and it goes on and on ..., DO YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE ?? , I really don't need any more upset.by being refered to as a fake or con that has been posted about me here... ive cooled down and now trying to move on from that disaster relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williewillie Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 It's good you finally posted at least part of the story. It does no good to advise a newbie farang NOT to go crazy over a boy. Everyone has to learn for themselves and make all the mistakes. Everyone is certain that their boy is different, that the love/lust they feel is real and mutual, that the boy is waiting for them to return and doesn't have sex with anyone else. Some farangs have been taken for millions, it's an old story and very commonplace. Few farangs escape the game unscathed . Forget him or else he will sucker you back in with apologies and sweet talk and you will get fucked over again. Of course no one listens and the game goes on and on. By the way, there are plenty of farangs who lie to the boys, even borrow and steal from them, of course cheat on them with their friends and leave the boy stranded in a ditch. It is far from only a Thai thing. vinapu 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
