Keeing in Touch with your BF when out of Thailand

[TotallyOz]

I like to get in touch with my BF about once a week to make sure all is ok and they are doing well. For the ones that have internet access easy I prefer that. I also like IM. Most Thais I know have MSN or Yahoo. But, all Thai boys have a cell phone. I find that there are many programs that work with the computer to send SMS anywhere I am at. I use one program for the Mac. It sends up to 160 characters per message and when someone replies, I can choose either the cell phone of the country I am in or a response to an e-mail.

 

I know there are many programs out there but I really like: http://www.smsmac.com

 

Any other suggestions on how to keep in touch?

[Gaybutton]

Any other suggestions on how to keep in touch?

 

What's wrong with a quick phone call?

[Guest pete1969]

LOL. The guy is my BF and we are building a life together, IMO (although these sentiments seem to work a lot better with the current BF than the old one). So, I call him daily, usually more than once. We are a daily part of one another's lives just as committed partners should be.

 

I get very cheap phone cards in the USA from uniontelecard.com. I just recharge one card and keep the same pin. It allows me pinless dialing and speed dialing. I can also keep track of my balance online and recharge online. $20 USD gets me over 8 hours to LOS (enough for two weeks of calls).

 

We also email. Next month he is getting a laptop, so I hope we can webcam chat, so I can see his face. I don't send as many SMS with this BF as with my last one.

 

Like GB, I prefer the phone.

[Guest wowpow]

There seem to be so many cheapo ways to internet telephone these days from Skype to Telebucket and the cost is merely 4 to 6 baht a minute. Why use any other way?

 

One reason can be the time difference which can be difficult and another the varying quality of the lines often superb but occasionally weird

 

[Guest stef]

What's wrong with a quick phone call?

 

 

Well every time I called and ended up talking with someone on the phone, it was just horrible to understand each other. I guess a text message makes it easier. Give them time to answer with a better english.

Now if you speak Thai then wonderful with a phone call

[Gaybutton]

it was just horrible to understand each other.

Now if you speak Thai then wonderful with a phone call

 

Well, what language were you speaking when you were together? Swahili?

[colmx]

Like Pete1969 i could not survive without several phone calls a day to thailand. Usually call Morning afternoon and evening. Most of the time just to say "hi" but others can be 50-60 mis in length

 

I use Voipstunt to call thailand

(www.voipstunt.com Dodgy sounding name but great service)

 

 

[Bob]

Contrary to the majority, I prefer using MSN for the weekly chats with my Chiang Mai friend. It's easy for us as my friend has excellent English skills (verbal and written). For most thai boys, though, I doubt if MSN would be that easy.

[Gaybutton]

For most thai boys, though, I doubt if MSN would be that easy.

 

You might be surprised about that. Most of the boys I know are familiar not only with MSN, but also Hotmail, chats, etc.

[Guest gonefishing]

What's wrong with a quick phone call?

 

Precisely. If he is not worth a regular phone call rather than a weekly e-mail (less than many members post here) then he is not worth calling a boyfriend.

[Guest stef]

Well, what language were you speaking when you were together? Swahili?

 

Gosh I thought I was the only one speaking that language.. .. You are full of surprises dear...

[TotallyOz]

Precisely. If he is not worth a regular phone call rather than a weekly e-mail (less than many members post here) then he is not worth calling a boyfriend.

 

Again your defination of a bf. I much prefer e-mails and IM and text to phone calls. To each his own. Some of you don't get that because people don't agree with your view, don't have the same or better relationship. Enjoy your phone calls. I'll enjoy my texts and e-mails.

[Gaybutton]

Gosh I thought I was the only one speaking that language.. .. You are full of surprises dear...

 

Well, I'm full of something, anyway . . . .

[Guest YardenUK]

There have been 2 occasions when my bf and I have been apart for a short time, and I think phone calls are much better than SMS for 2 simple reasons - firstly, speaking a foreign language is a lot easier than knowing how to read and write, and secondly, because of the first reason misunderstandings are more likely when it comes to the written word.Plus I know it is immensely harder for my bf to express exactly what he wants to say in an SMS simply because he doesnt have the written vocabulary (wheras he can communicate easily by speaking).

 

After all, for those of you who can speak enough Thai to get by and communicate - imagine if you had to read an SMS that was written in Thai, and then on top of that reply in Thai script!!

 

Personally, unless the person is pretty fluent in written English, phone calls are a much less stressful way of communicating for that person.

 

But each to their own

[Guest gonefishing]

Again your defination of a bf.

 

In this case your memory serves you well, as I disagreed with a poster in an earlier thread who described his long-term boyfriend as someone who came to his house to do his laundry occasionally and with whom he had occasional sex, for which he tipped him each time.

 

I disagree with your calling someone a boyfriend who only merits a weekly e-mail when you are away for a number of months not because I am comparing relationships and saying that one is any better than another (to each his own, as you rightly say), but because if you consider that the two of you are "boyfriends" then it is difficult to find a different, appropriate term for a relationship which someone may have which is closer and which means more to them. The term "partner" is not appropriate in most cases now as it has a legal connotation (Civil Partnership) and so means something more specific.

 

Posters on the old Sawatdee Board used the term "Boy Special" (BS), which may be more appropriate to your relationship, otherwise if you consider your current relationship that of "boyfriends" what term you would you use in the unlikely event of your having a more serious relationship?

 

Well, what language were you speaking when you were together? Swahili?

 

 

Gosh I thought I was the only one speaking that language.. .. You are full of surprises dear...

 

I hope you were careful of your pronunciation - "photo" means "penis" in Swahili, so can I see your photo takes on a whole new meaning!!

[Guest stef]

if you consider your current relationship that of "boyfriends" what term you would you use in the unlikely event of your having a more serious relationship?

 

I think " Lover " would be appropriate here.. but everyone has his own definition for boy friend.

I don't see myself calling my boy friend every single day.... but I love him very much ... Nothing wrong at all, without calling someone every single day . It isn't a question of how much the phone call will cost, it is just easier to email or text messages each other.

 

You have a different way to deal with it... that's nice you can really find the right timing to call, without having to call back over and over...

 

I remember 5-6 months ago, I was in Europe and I tried to call my friend's cell phone number in THailand, and the network was always screwed up. there were no way for me to call for days. The easiest way was to get online and email him. I knew he was ok.

 

That you call , text message or even email your boy friend ( or Lover ) , at least you are in touch with him periodically...

 

 

 

[TotallyOz]

Posters on the old Sawatdee Board used the term "Boy Special" (BS), which may be more appropriate to your relationship, otherwise if you consider your current relationship that of "boyfriends" what term you would you use in the unlikely event of your having a more serious relationship?

 

I have been beaten up in the past for using the term "Boy Special". I guess I do prefer that to boyfriend and I use that on this board from time to time. Thais use the term boyfriend when referring to a farang taking care of them. I have heard one Thai use the term "my darling." I like that also.,

 

When in Thailand, I use the term boyfriend as that is what they use for me. Since you only know me from watching me in Sunee and Big C you really have no idea of how I treat someone who is with me long term so you will never be able to define what kind of relationship I have with one or more guys. I have had 3 boyfriends in Thailand that were left money and bank accounts should I come to an unfortunate demise. I am sure you have done the same for your boyfriend. I have also made sure my guys go to school and get an education. Some I have even set up in businesses. Your view of what a boyfriend is and mine may not be the same. And, frankly, since you don't care for me and I really don't care for your smug comments, I don't really give a fuck what you say with any post I make. Your postings are often more negative than they are informative. I hope you are much more nice to the "boyfriend" you are supporting.

[Up2u]

..... I have had 3 boyfriends in Thailand that were left money and bank accounts should I come to an unfortunate demise. I am sure you have done the same for your boyfriend. ...

 

Just curious if you have protections or safe guards built in to your will/trust that so you don't have a timely "accident". Others in a smilar situation feel free to respond too.

 

[Guest gonefishing]

Since you only know me from watching me in Sunee and Big C you really have no idea of how I treat someone who is with me long term so you will never be able to define what kind of relationship I have with one or more guys. I have had 3 boyfriends in Thailand that were left money and bank accounts should I come to an unfortunate demise. I am sure you have done the same for your boyfriend. I have also made sure my guys go to school and get an education. Some I have even set up in businesses. Your view of what a boyfriend is and mine may not be the same. And, frankly, since you don't care for me and I really don't care for your smug comments, I don't really give a f*** what you say with any post I make. Your postings are often more negative than they are informative. I hope you are much more nice to the "boyfriend" you are supporting.

 

I think you must have me confused with someone else.

 

I have no idea of who you are and to the best of my knowledge (judging from your own description of yourself) I have never seen you anywhere, let alone watched you in Sunee or Big C; I am basing my idea of your relationship on your previous description of it, nothing else, and so would not even try to define it. My point, as I thought I made clear, was that I was not "comparing relationships and saying that one is any better than another (to each his own, as you rightly say)", but that I was querying the terminology - a point we appear to be in agreement on if you prefer the term Boy Special.

 

As far as I can recall I have said little to indicate that I "don't care for" you here - again, maybe you are confusing me with others. As for how "negative" or "informative" my posts are, again I can only recall only responding to two of your previous posts: one concerning motorcycle racing, etc, where we clearly disagreed, and the second where you asked what "the deal" was concerning "drive-in movies", where I explained exactly what they were - a thank you or a simple acknowledgement for the latter, while not necessary, would have been nicer than "I don't give a f***".

[TotallyOz]

I think you must have me confused with someone else.

 

You are 100 percent correct. My apologies. I was confusing you with FreeYourMind. Not sure why I did that other than Jetlag and lack of sleep for 2 days. When I am wrong, I say I am wrong and my apologies to you as I fucked up. Perhaps it is old age. Perhaps it was the valium I took to try to adjust to the new time zone. I was in Amsterdam and I don't sleep much here and I go to too many coffee shops. Perhaps it was the boy who knocked on my hotel at 4am in the morning I had met on the Internet. I am off to Brazil now and I'll then be able to sleep it all offf and get adjusted to a new zone for a longer period of time. Please accept my apologies for the mistake and the bitchiness.

[Guest gonefishing]

Thank you. Your apologies are accepted in the spirit they were made.

[TotallyOz]

Thank you. Your apologies are accepted in the spirit they were made.

 

Perhaps too much spirit was why they were needed in the first place. Amsterdam can be a bit too much spirit at times.

[Guest gonefishing]

Just curious if you have protections or safe guards built in to your will/trust that so you don't have a timely "accident". Others in a smilar situation feel free to respond too.

 

In practice this is virtually impossible to do; the only safeguard is that in most countries (certainly the USA, UK, Australia and I am told Thailand) the safeguard is that in the event of a person's convicted murderer being a beneficiary in that person's will they cannot benefit from the will and that part of the estate goes to the remaining beneficiaries.

 

If you are really worried about it, unless the beneficiary is also the executor (or the equivalent in Thailand) there is no reason why they should know the contents of any will; this should ensure both that they do not "kill the goose that laid the golden eggs" or, conversely, do not hang around waiting for something they are not going to get (which, sadly, appears more likely). In my own case, for example, although my boyfriend is my sole beneficiary my executor holds my wills and my boyfriend knows to contact him in the event of something happening to me; that is all he knows and all he wants to know, as he is adamant that it is very bad luck to discuss the subject. The closest I have been able to get to talking about it is explaining that once we are legalised Civil Partners he will be entitled to a guaranteed, index-linked pension in the event of my demise (which he needs to know so that I can have copies of the correct paperwork to forward). It is now a "taboo" subject, which is probably best for both of us.

 

I

[Guest francois]

I am in accord with Stef, naturally, since we speak the same language, Swahili, that is. I call the bf once a week but the calls are short because conversation is difficult. When he or I want to be precise in our comminiques we email but that necessitates translation from Thai to English or vice-versa. Frequently the translations are mediocre at best.

Our conversations have been brief but our love has been long.

Francois

[Guest stef]

Our conversations have been brief but our love has been long.

Francois

 

How cute