Living in China vs. Thailand

[TotallyOz]

Kittyboy brought up the fact that he lives in China in Christian's thread. I didn't want to derail it but I hope he or others will give some information about living in China.

 

I have been fascinated with China mainly due to the posters on this board and their visits to the country. However, it is not a place that I would consider moving permanently.

 

What makes China better or worst than Thailand? Is it easier to live there? Do you find the laws more constricting? Is the cost of living similar?

 

For retirement, I have really only considered Thailand and Brazil but I would be very curious to know what others that have moved to China experience.

[Guest Kittyboy]

I appreciate your interest. 

I like living in China for many reasons. 

I live near Macau and there is a friendly expat community here. Most of my friends are hetero and me being gay has not been a problem I have a boyfriend who is accepted by my friends here. BF lives 400 KM away. We do not live together and that works for both of us. 

 

Gays and lesbians are very closeted here...sort of like the west 50 years ago. There seem to be few if any religious prohibitions against homosexuality...it is just different and the Chinese just sort of can not understand. There is a strong familial responsibility to produce offspring as China does not have a social safety net so the children and grandchildren are expected to care for the older generation. I think the fear is that a gay son will not produce an heir that will carry on the family name and help care for the older parents. 

 

The food is OK. 

The cost of living especially apartments varies greatly by location but where I live rent is cheap. 

Being close to Hong Kong and Macau wages for my profession are high. 

Overall I am having a good experience. 

 

However, it is very difficult to stay here without a work permit so retirement in china is a problem 

 

Overall, I think I would rather be in thailand but I have never lived in thailand so I do not know 

 

 

Chinese guys are cute but I still think the sexiest guys in the world are in thailand. 

[Guest fountainhall]

Unlike Kittyboy, I have never lived in China – unless you count Hong Kong as China. But whereas it is part of China now, it was hardly comparable to most of the mainland when I lived there.

I have been a fairly regular visitor since my first trip to Guangzhou way back in September 1979. That was totally absorbing as the country was still getting over the Cultural Revolution and most of Deng’s reforms had yet to be put in place. Walking close to Shamian Island was fascinating. In the early 19th century, this was where the foreign merchants had to live when they traded with China from August to March each year. During the summer months, the foreigners had to return to the more Mediterranean friendly territory of Macau at the mouth of the Pearl River. The Opium Wars put an end to all that.

But I have witnessed in Guangzhou and elsewhere the astonishing development of China in little more than 30 years. Unlike Kittyboy, I think in general I find most Chinese boys sexier than most Thais. To each his own!

As for living in China, I can only report second hand. I have two sets of close friends living there, both gay couples, both Western/Chinese. One couple living in Shanghai has been together around 20 years now and they would not live anywhere else. Never once have they said they found it difficult to be gay. They have many gay friends. On one of my visits, the American was organizing a drag show with some money boys for a local charity event! On another about a dozen years ago, I joined them and their friends for dinner trying out a new Chinese restaurant – 12 gay guys and one fag hag! It was great fun! The boy sitting on my left was gorgeous – tall, slim, long hair, great smile. It turned out he played full back for the Shanghai professional soccer team. Jokingly I asked him if he had a manager, and that I would offer if he hadn’t. Turned out his manager was his boyfriend sitting on his left! What a bummer!

The American in the other couple has been in China for about 5 years now. He is much more in the rural heartland where he is a teacher. Like Kittyboy, his student boyfriend lives far away much closer to Hong Kong, but they are able to get cheap flights and can usually spend each weekend together. They do not have so many gay friends – but some. In neither city have they come across any antagonism to their being gay, either from the general population or officialdom. I expect, though, that a greater degree of discretion is required than here in Thailand.

Would I live there? I once thought about it when I was doing a two-year contract for a client in Shanghai who suggested I buy an apartment. I decided I preferred Hong Kong – yet another missed opportunity as that apartment would have risen in value several times over.

If I were to move from Thailand, though, I’d prefer Taiwan to mainland China – for a whole host of reasons which I need not go into. Anyone who has seen my pics of the Taipei Gay Pride Parades will have a pretty good clue! 

[Guest Kittyboy]

As a frequent visitor to Thailand my experiences there are vacation experiences and generally good.

 

In contrast I work and live in. China...by choice I do not want to live in the USA again.... So the rhythms of my life are very different here. I go to work and have good days and bad days. Wed. Is often a frustrating day for me as my housekeeper comes that day and upon arrival at home I am always prepared to find something strange that the unfashionable mind of the cleaning lady has done. I usually smile and think what the fuck was that woman thinking... But I do smile. I have a friend staying with me..usually she hangs up the laundry in the spare bedroom. Last week it was in the bathroom...the bathroom was so crowded with laundry I could not take a shower or use the toilet....hmmmmm... What the fuck was that woman thinking...but I smile.

 

The bid cities in Thailand are as cosmopolitan as bkk and the smaller cities are as cosmopolitan as udon. I live in a small city 1.5 million and I am happy here...but it is my friends and coworkers. They are a good group of people and we all live close to each other..we go out to dinner, drink, work together.....etc. in bigger cities in china the expat communities are more spread out and let close knit. I suspect the same in Thailand..

 

I think about retirement in Thailand...pattaya or bkk being the obvious choices...but I think I would do better in a smaller city with a more cloe knit expat community. Thoughts on the issue of where to live or preferences to live would be appreciated.

 

On a final note..the men in china are cute and available. I am 53 and guys in their 20s often hit me up with lines like man with the fat I like....

[Guest fountainhall]

Wed. Is often a frustrating day for me as my housekeeper comes that day and upon arrival at home I am always prepared to find something strange that the unfashionable mind of the cleaning lady has done

 

Sounds just like Thailand! Clearly in rural China, Chinese logic is as incomprehensible as Thai logic. You'll be quite at home here on that score! 

 

the men in china are cute and available. I am 53 and guys in their 20s often hit me up with lines like man with the fat I like....

 

Thanks for backing up what I have said in quite a number of threads. For many Asians, age is not the issue it is in the west.

[Guest Kittyboy]

It is a mix..some Chinese are only sticky rice but I have found a large number of local boys who want western bf and being older is not an issue. The wages are low here so I make more money and pay for dinner, entertainment, etc... There is less of a money boy culture here.

 

I sort of like Thailand better in that I know I am paying for short term sex.....here sometimes I think I am out just for fun and the boy thinks.. I am the ONE !!!

 

I do have bf now but I still like to look

[Guest Kittyboy]

As an aside my bf is 32 and I am 53. I think I am too young for him. His ex is a 69 year old gwm. They lived together for 8years.

[Guest Enchanter]

I would never choose to live in China. Except maybe in Hong Kong which can be nice. 

[KhorTose]

I think about retirement in Thailand...pattaya or bkk being the obvious choices...but I think I would do better in a smaller city with a more cloe knit expat community. Thoughts on the issue of where to live or preferences to live would be appreciated.

Two cities immediately come to mind. Check out Chiang Mai or Hua Hin. I live in Chiang Mai, but have been to hua hin on two occasions and think you would find more of a close knit community here in Chiang mai. Chiang Mai is rather unique in that this community is composed of both straights and gay expats that often mix with each other, unlike other places I know of in Thailand.

[TotallyOz]

Two cities immediately come to mind. Check out Chiang Mai or Hua Hin. I live in Chiang Mai, but have been to hua hin on two occasions and think you would find more of a close knit community here in Chiang mai. Chiang Mai is rather unique in that this community is composed of both straights and gay expats that often mix with each other, unlike other places I know of in Thailand.

KT, why is this do you think? I found the same is true in most Southern cities in the USA but in larger areas like NY and LA, it is VERY segregated.

[fedssocr]

I love that in China 1.5 million people is considered a "small" city!

 

I have an expat friend who has been living for 7+ years in Taipei. He really likes it there and I can see why. I think it might be tempting to a degree as there are so many things I enjoyed about the place in my short visit last year. Headed back for a longer time this year. Not sure I could ever live there or anywhere else in Asia though for a variety of reason. 

[KhorTose]

KT, why is this do you think? I found the same is true in most Southern cities in the USA but in larger areas like NY and LA, it is VERY segregated.

You should make this a different topic. Both NY, LA and SF started out with a ghettoized gay community, and as they grew they did not mix by tradition. Seattle did not start this way and gays and straights are mixing in the bars, discos, restaurants, etc. Think the same may be true for Chiang mai as Seattle and other cities where gays did not have a certain section of town. However, I notice that in SF and LA this separation is slowly breaking down and I think the norm will eventually be no more separation.

However, there is a group of gays---you can say followers of the late jerk Henry Hay (in my opinion based on talks with the man)---that think this is destroying a unique gay culture. I could go on and on about how wrong this man was, but should be another topic.

[Guest fountainhall]

I have an expat friend who has been living for 7+ years in Taipei. He really likes it there and I can see why.

 

Having spent another 4 days there just last week, it reinforced my own view that I'd choose Taipei over the mainland. The guys there are unbelievable!