Living and working in Bangkok: 3 months

[ChristianPFC]

(Posted on gaybuttonthai and SGT as well, but I recently learned that several members here rarely read other forums, so I will share here as well.)

 

Living and working in Bangkok: 3 months  

 

Now I have been living and working in Bangkok for 3 months, and here is a report about my current situation.

ChristianPFC is fit for tropics. I could live and work in Thailand permanently. (Some people on the forums say that holiday is fine for them, but they cannot imagine living here.) After previous stays in England and France, I was prepared for a third world country, and I can cope with tropical weather as well.

I can walk 15 minutes in the full sun without excessive sweating. If I can get in aircon after these 15 minutes, I will be fine. However if I have to climb the stairs to fifth floor (my room), I will sweat significantly. But I prefer too hot to too cold.

By moving to Thailand, I have achieved some of my aims in life:

1. I can wear flip-flops most of the time outside or no shoes at all in my room, I only have to wear closed shoes for work and when I go to immigration/embassy/... No more socks, no more laces, no more bending down to put shoes on and take them off. Wonderful!

2. Never be cold again (in the sense of winter in Europe). Here it is warm (often too warm), or cold in the sense of fresh (aircon).

3. Can eat mangosteen, tom kha gai and other Thai food and fruit every time I want (but on the downside, cheese and chocolate from Europe is very expensive).

4. Sex is available any time and at reasonable prices. But I still have not been able to have someone come to my place in time. I didn't have good sex for a while, and now I am hesitating to spend money in Bangkok bars (that would be drink up to 300 Baht, off fee 500, tip 1500, then taxi to my place 20 minutes and 150 Baht, the boy might be reticent to go that far and/or ask for another 150 Baht for taxi back, simply too much if it starts with expecting poor sex for a lot of money). I have to wait until I'm in a better mood.

5. I don't have to pay TV license. In Germany it's in the range of 800 Baht per month, and nowadays it's a "media fee" that every household has to pay, even if you don't have a TV or computer or radio (except if you are blind and deaf, then you are exempt).

I mainly eat Thai food, about 90%. Once or twice a week, I treat myself to Italian food or expensive Thai seafood or have some cake. I now need 3 meals per day, when I came for holiday 2 or sometimes even just 1 was enough (plus some snacks). Unfortunately, I have to take most meals alone. In France, we went eating in a group and had many interesting conversations during lunch, which I miss very much. In addition, the pizza with goat cheese and the salmon were to die for.

I lost a few kg (I was slim before, now even more) and now all my trousers are too wide, so I had to buy a belt. My physical condition is excellent, I reached or excelled results from 12 years ago. The only problem is that there is no place where I can run for 2 hours or more to prepare for possible participation in the Pattaya Marathon.

I now use aircon (25 degree Celsius) every night. Last month I experimented with fan, I can sleep with fan, but why suffer at 30 C or more when I can have aircon every night for about 800 Baht per month. My room heats up during day, when I come home it's 33 C inside, and even after hours of using fan, inside still 32 C and outside 30 C or less.

My Thai improved slightly. Still serious problems with listening and understanding spoken Thai, especially on the phone or with background noises. But I can sometimes get the gist, and I guess it will take just some more months until I get useful information by listening to Thai people talking about me assuming I don't understand what they are saying.

Thai people in my area are friendly, I sometimes get an invitation for drinking or eating. They have genuine interest in me, are happy that I can speak Thai. Unfortunately, there is a mismatch: those interested in me are either too old, too young, not my type or female. Those I have a sexual interest in show low interest in me, often totally ignoring me. However considering that there are more then 10 who I would like to invite to my room, and some of them live in the slum (no work, no money), there must be one or two who would be happy to go with me for a few hundred Baht, but I don't know who and how to approach the matter!

It's like opening an oyster, you need one point where you start. Some cute boys play basketball, so I can't talk to them while they are playing. After the match, they go home for showering and don't come back. (If there was group showering after the match, I would overcome my aversion to ball games.) When we exchange a few words, there is no subject that I can use to invite them to my room. Except for one, who asked me if I wank and how big my cock is! Unfortunately he is not my type, otherwise I would invite him for a demonstration.

I finally get some calls per week from boys who would like to meet me (for sex for money). I always envied those who complained that they constantly get calls, because I rarely got one when I was in Thailand for holiday. Unfortunately, there is a mismatch: either I am not free or he is not free or traveling would take too long or he is not so much my type that I would like to see him again.

My sex life is going down. Contrary to my expectations, more prostitutes (now over 80%, when I came here on holiday it was 50%), and the last good sex has been a while ago. My idea was to meet two or three boys per week from gayromeo or camfrog or from real life for free or cheap, find a boyfriend or move on or stay fuckbuddy. Complete failure. I still haven't managed to get a single boy from my area in my room (to study English and Thai, and then probe if more is possible), can't use camfrog (no own computer, no webcam in internet cafe, no pro version) and results on gayromeo are disappointing.

I calculate my chances of ever finding a boyfriend very low (details in a separate topic).

Whole series of events go wrong. Last weekend in Pattaya may serve as an example. Friday night was ok (I offed a waiter, so I could not be sure that there are no tattoos and no body hair, back in my room his body was exactly as I like it, but he did not show any activity in bed). For Saturday I had planned to meet one boy during day and one at night (both barboys I know from previous trips). One was away during day and one was not available. At night, I went to the boy's bar, he was there, taking part in contest, so I could not off him. I waited till after 1am when he left the bar, but he had other commitments. Other bars were closed already, so I called another boy. He did not pick up, but why I was holding my phone I heard someone call my name. It was another acquaintance I would love to get in bed with again. While I was chatting with him, the boy I called minutes before called back (vibration, I did not pick up). After some chat (and a lot of drama, this boy has by far the highest drama to sex ratio of all my Thai friends) I realize his plans for the night do not include me. Actually, I think he does not intend to go with me again and is just teasing me and looking for drama. This has been going on for half a year (drama and teasing) in real life, on phone and on skype. I should move on. I tried my best:

He: "When do you go back to Bangkok tomorrow?"
I: "Up to you!",
He: "No, I mean when do you leave Pattaya?",
I: "We can leave whenever you want.".

But he wanted to go to disco with his ladyboy friends from Obsession bar. Nothing for me (too late, too loud, and they would probably present me all the bills, I would still have to go to bed alone, anyway I wasn't invited - I have fallen that low, I am not even invited to pay the bills!)

A stroll through Sunee (about 2 am) shows very little remaining activity. But then I walk past New Sawatdee Boys which is still open and that looked promising earlier that evening (but I prefer gogo bars where I can see the boys in underwear, I rarely go to beer bars). So I went in and a boy sat next to me. I could not find any fault with him in the bar and he caught me in a moment of emotional weakness, so I offed him. Back in my room, hugging, cuddling, kissing, affection exactly as I like it, but seen in light not so much my type. He called me a few times, now I have to prepare him that we will not meet for sex for money again. At New Sawatdee Boys, there is no way I can escape him because I walk past every time I am in Sunee. Fortunately, he will go back to his home province in four weeks so time will solve this problem (a boy who is everything I want, but not my type!). So I won't be lumbered with him for long.

That might be a consolation to others. Getting laid in Thailand is not only about age and looks, even speaking Thai does not improve my current situation, neither does living and working here. It's more about attitude and how much money you are willing to spend. A friend of mine goes to Hua Lampong railway station and kind of says: "You, you and you, want to come with me? Free beer, cigarettes, food, 300 Baht for sex." Two of them say yes, one says no, and 15 minutes later he is in his room with them. Others go to Soi Twilight, Boyztown or Sunee or gay discos, and for a few thousand Baht they spend the night surrounded by Thai boys who tell them they love them and want to become their boyfriend. Both cases are not my style, I make elaborate plans that fail most of the time.

I have a lot to catch up regarding electronics. Not having an own computer is cumbersome (use internet at work or in internet cafe), I will buy one soon. (Update: finally bought a laptop, now I just need internet.) In addition, I will need a new mobile phone, that will be quite a jump from my current one which is from around 2005. Then I will be able to use GPS and googlemaps and access internet from my phone and will try out grindr and similar applications and read and send SMS in Thai. Actually, I would rather study Thai with local boys (really, not just as a pretext!) and have sex with some of them then being in the internet two hours a day or more.

Work is so-so (that's optimistic, work-wise I have quite a low as well, but I won't bore you with details).

Expenses are higher than expected, I spend about 30,000 Baht per month (detailed expenses will follow in a separate post), and that is without saving for retirement or health insurance (I have health insurance from my employer, I don't know how much this covers). Add one-time expenses (my lost passport will cost about 10,000 Baht, I will buy a computer soon), and I spend all money. For flights back to Germany, I will have to use money I saved when I was working in Europe.

Summary: my main objective for my relocation to Thailand was to have sex regularly, for free or cheap (definitely not Soi Twilight prices) and maybe even find a boyfriend. So far, complete failure in all aspects.

[Bob]

Many of your stories remind me of the kid (Linus?) in the Peanuts cartoon that always had a cloud over his head.  Things rarely went well for him either.

 

I have one question, though.  Since you live and work in Bangkok, why bother going to Pattaya so much?

[Guest]

Thanks for the report, an interesting perspective.

 

I presume the opportunities for sex will arise, in time.  However, it seems like a good idea to find some additional reasons for wanting to be in Thailand. That way you will enjoy it more and you might have something helpful to say in interviews when you decide to move on.

 

Also, longer term a young(ish) professional would generally aim to be saving some money, rather than just scraping by. Enjoy yourself for now, but sooner or later you might want some travel or other bigger ticket expenses.

[TotallyOz]

Summary: my main objective for my relocation to Thailand was to have sex regularly, for free or cheap (definitely not Soi Twilight prices) and maybe even find a boyfriend. So far, complete failure in all aspects.[/size]

Great post christianPFC. Thank you.

 

I do not think this has been a failure at all. It is a learning curve and you seem to be ahead of the curve. That is great. The other things that you desire will find their way into your life when you least expect it. But, I bet it is still an amazing fucking journey!

[Guest Kittyboy]

Congratulation Christian - I remember your postings on sgt when you talked about making the move.

I live in china and moving here was a difficult but rewarding decision.

 

Good luck.

[TotallyOz]

I have one question, though.  Since you live and work in Bangkok, why bother going to Pattaya so much?

Christian will have to answer this reasons for this but when I lived in Bangkok for a year, I loved it and love the many things about the city. But, it was nice to get off to Pattaya to visit friends and the bars. I loved the gogo bars in Pattaya so much more than any of them in Bangkok. When I was in Bangkok, I found I spent more time in the massage houses and not as much in the saunas as I hated the price of drinks, the pushy mamasans and the cost of it all. Pattaya was always a great place to visit, enjoy and have sex.

 

Plus, there were more farangs that I grew to know over the years in Pattaya and I always enjoy catching up with them.

[Bob]

Don't get me wrong, Michael, i don't see anything wrong at all about hopping down to Pattaya or elsewhere on occasion.  Christian's reports, though, seem to be filled with his happenings in Pattaya (one sorta gets the impression that he's often down there trying to get laid) and I'm just wondering why he feels the need to go there to get that done.  Plus, if expenses are a concern (with Christian, it seems to be a pathology at times!), wouldn't it be cheaper to stay mainly in the city where you live and work?  I'm just curious as to his thinking.

[a447a]

It may also be worthwhile to bite the bullet, open your wallet and find a place closer to the action.

Living so far out, whilst cheaper, may be limiting the action a little.

[ChristianPFC]

I spend about one weekend per month in Pattaya. If everything goes alright, it turns out cheaper than going to Bangkok bars. Even if it costst the same (including travel and hotel), it feels cheaper. It's more compact (Baht bus 10 Baht from Central Pattaya to Jomtien where I stay or anywhere else, compared to 160 Baht and at least 20 minutes from Silom to my place).

 

Living close to my workplace has priority. I can walk in 15 minutes from my room to work. That saves a lot of time and money compared to people who have to commute, and there is no traffic (and therefore no traffic jam) on my way to work. Just compare: I go to work and back five days per week, but I go out only on the weekend, and then to different places, so living more central would cost more rent and time and money for commuting.

 

My current work situation does not satisfy me. It serves to get a foot into Thailand, but I will have to look for something else to move on. Apart from that, I am satisfied with my move to Thailand.

[t0oL1]

ah sounds like you have fallen into the proverbial "barrel full of cocks"

and come out sucking your thumb, so to speak.

 

seriously, half the excitement is in the hunt/chase/window shopping.

 

certainly there must be something local. a pool hall, gym, internet shop, mall

to cruise. usually in an internet shop i amazed how many browsers are open to

gay.com, gayromeo, etc. 

 

further interest in your new profession.

guessing it wasn't  what you intended.

 

always noted an opening (almost every visit there) in Bkk Post @

Chulalongkorn University for your field of expertise

[zombie]

OP writes:

 

"Summary: my main objective for my relocation to Thailand was to have sex regularly, for free or cheap (definitely not Soi Twilight prices) and maybe even find a boyfriend. So far, complete failure in all aspects."

 

-Whilst I was mildly entertained by your posting OP, at the same time it irritated me. The bottom line is, you like many others come to live in Thailand with insufficient money and then you moan about your failure etc. Cash is king in Thailand and if you do not have enough, then you will always be dis-satisfied.

 

Why don't you go to work in somewhere like Saudi or Hong Kong; make your fortune, and then come and live in Thailand when hopefully you will have sufficient income to enjoy all that Thailand can offer.

[Guest scottishguy]

Zombie, you fundementally misunderstand christianpfc.

 

He does not live cheaply purely out of necessity - it's his mission in life!

 

If he were rich he would still not live the high life - he would be one of those people who, when they died, the neighbours would find the tea bags and toilet paper hanging on the washing line for re-use, and £3/4 million in the bank because they never spent anything.

 

I can say this because I have observed his habits on these forums for some years and it's the main reason I and many others find him amusing.

 

[zombie]

SG: perhaps you are right and I do not understand the OP. I do not know him. I just got the impression from his own words he claims to have so far failed on his main objectives for being in Thailand. My point is that his admitted failure is in my opinion due to his lack of money. But if what u are saying is that he actually has the money but is just too miserly to spent it, well I agree that puts a wholly different complexion on things. And it does seem to be the case that Thailand attracts quite a lot of cheap charlies.......

[Guest fountainhall]

Location certainly seems to be one of Christian's problems, but then he's happy to be very close to his work. I doubt if he can have it both ways in BKK, though, unless he starts looking more seriously for guys in and around his area. Aren't there massage places nearby - or within reasonable commuting distance? How about shopping malls? Universities? As I believe he said, it makes no sense for most guys from the usual bar areas or Saranrom Park to travel to the other side of the city unless the tip is good and the return taxi paid.

[ChristianPFC]

certainly there must be something local. a pool hall, gym, internet shop, mall

to cruise. usually in an internet shop i amazed how many browsers are open to

gay.com, gayromeo, etc. 

 

always noted an opening (almost every visit there) in Bkk Post @

Chulalongkorn University for your field of expertise

 

Internet shop might work in Sathorn (when walking past, I can see gayromeo open), but not here. Everyone is playing online games or facebook, and they are absorbed in it. No way to chat someone up.

 

An anecdote: I am often looking at pictures that could be called pornography (gayromeo, bangkokbois), and one day I had a about five-year old sitting next to me, he looked at me reproachfully, and then continued playing a war game with a lot of blood, explosions, knives and guns.

 

Could you give a link to the opening in Bangkok Post, couldn't find it.

 

My OP ist is not about lack of money, I just thought it would be much easier to hook up locally if you live and work in Thailand. I earn enough to enjoy my time here, but with unforseen (stolen passport) or one-time (new laptop) expenses everything is spent. Others would be happy to be in such a position!

[Guest]

But if what u are saying is that he actually has the money but is just too miserly to spent it, well I agree that puts a wholly different complexion on things. And it does seem to be the case that Thailand attracts quite a lot of cheap charlies.......

Sadly our board is attracting quite a lot of people who write critical & provocative comments without even reading what is written earlier in the thread.

Christian clearly specified that comparing monthly earnings & expenditure, he's spending all he earns.

[Guest scottishguy]

My point was (and I clarify it for Zombie's benefit) that even if Christian had lots of extra cash he would not splurge out on luxuries.  It's just not in his nature - with Christian, every penny is a prisoner. I'm not being nasty or hurtful - it's just what I have observed and the fact he "liked" my previous comment seems to bear that out.

 

[t0oL1]

Sorry Christian but the job ad was always in the actual Bkk Post Classifieds newspaper,

as I would read it for free @ LCR in Pattaya while people watching in the lobby.

 

Yes if you were already in Sathorn, I can see why differing interests @

internet shops in your area. 

 

Just was guessing you were way up i North Bkk having taken that job

@ Chulalongkorn that I always was kind of tempted to apply for.

[zombie]

My point was (and I clarify it for Zombie's benefit) that even if Christian had lots of extra cash he would not splurge out on luxuries.  It's just not in his nature - with Christian, every penny is a prisoner. I'm not being nasty or hurtful - it's just what I have observed and the fact he "liked" my previous comment seems to bear that out.

 

I appreciate the clarification SG.

[Guest Devint6669]

Thank you for the report, it was a very interesting to read.  I really like your presentation and you opinion, sometime it's been hard for to also to adpat to the language wall that we encounter here in Thailand.  But when you realy start to understand this country, once you adapted to the language you will feel that  everything will seems to be right..

 

Don't be scare

[Guest scottishguy]

To be fair, Christian has made big efforts to learn the Thai language - I gave up after Linguaphone lesson #1 !!

[ChristianPFC]

Update

 

Some recent encounters show that my situation (sex-wise) is improving.

 

On a trip to Singapore (former ICK, Ramkhamhaeng), I saw several cute boys and hooked up with one of the. He was there with two friends, I came alone. It didn’t run optimal, but I still count it as success. He and his friends stay in Lamlukka, Phatumthani province, about 20 km taxi ride from Ramkhamhaeng. So we went there (I paid for taxi) to his hairdresser shop, where his friends slept on the floor in their street clothes, whereas we slept on the couch that could be converted into a bed. There was no bed linen and the fabric was rough, of course I hadn’t planned for this. We used a very basic piece of cloth as a cover. The bathroom was very basic as well. Luckily, I had condoms stored in a place where I could find them blind, so we did not have to switch on the light and interrupt his friends’ sleep.

 

We plan to meet again, but I am forseeing travel times, expenses and misunderstandings regarding place and time of meeting. It will probably be easier, faster and cheaper to go to the disco again and meet someone else. Several phone calls followed, but he’s so difficult to understand on the phone, I will postpone it until I have phone that can send and receive SMS in Thai.

 

Another trip to Saranrom park was successful, now the fifth trip there in a row, unprecedented! On average, I have to go three gogo bars to find one boy.

A weekday trip to DJ-station showed that there are enough customers and that I can get to bed at 4am and work normally the next day without problems (at least if I don’t do it every day). There was one boy who quickly revealed that he works at X-Boys, I took him home (1000 Baht for long time is reasonable).

 

On one day I met the two cute fishing boys (see Songkran report) on my way home from work and tried to invite them to my room, no way! So I made an appointment for 8-9pm to come back to study Thai and talk. I was there at 9:02, they were nowhere to be seen, doors were closed, then I asked around and was told that they were already sleeping. Couldn’t make it up! But it gets better. Diagonally opposite lives a Burmes women who can speak Thai, but not read and write and who works in the area. She invited herself to my room and even asked if she could stay overnight (if I understood correctly). We met at 7pm (on a different day, 10.05.2013) and I told her she can come to see me at 8pm. 8:10 I call her, no communication possible, only background noises, TV, kids. 8:30 she calls back, we agree to meet in 10 minutes at the 7-11. I have to go there anyway. She is not there, no further phone calls.

 

I can generalize this for many of my Thai acquaintances: absolutely no management of time and place, meetings by appointment are almost impossible. Even one hour later and 1 km away is beyond their ability to manage place and time!

 

Had some more phone calls with Ice (the boy from the Saranrom threesome and foresome with the older transvestites). Someone will have to travel, next time it will be he, not me, even if I pay the taxi fare for him. We got close to meeting one evening for cinema (and sex later), but then he called again and asked for 600 Baht. Here I am again in a situation that is cheaper and faster and easier to look for someone else on Saranrom park than meeting him again on appointment.

 

Generalisation for phone calls with my Thai friends: they are conducted in Thai and I have serious difficulties to understand, usually there is significant background noise. I shall get a phone that can SMS in Thai, so I can write SMS instead of calling, that should make communication much easier.

 

And there was the boy from gayromeo. He lives in Sathorn, so I took taxi to his place. The taxi driver advised me that it would be faster and cheaper to go to Mor Chit and take BTS from there instead of going by taxi all the way to Saphan Thaksin. I never had this before, I followed his advice. The boy called me exactly one hour after I messaged him on gr that it would take me one hour. I was on the BTS near Surasak. This time the phone call was easy to understand. Then near his place I called again, we met at 7-11 and went for dinner. Management of place and time is possible! The pictures on gr were looking fine, but on meeting him I found he was not so much my type. Back in his room, we talked about Thailand, Thai language, his studies and homosexuality. He has sex about once per month, usually with boys from gayromeo. I was thinking I was the only one who does not get laid as often as he would like to, and all others have regular orgies to which I am not invited! He was finally begging me for sex ( I don’t have this often), but he was not my type, so I said goodbye.

 

A few days ago, one of the fishing boys asked me for 20 Baht which I gave him. The following day, he asked for 30 Baht, which I gave him. Now this turns interesting, I finally have a point where I can approach the matter and maybe finally get his father/uncle/other male relative/older friend to pimp him and his brother/cousin/friend/whatever out to me (because the situation was so that I could not give him the money without others seeing it, but he was aware of it).

 

I could update every few days, but I will stop here, you get the gist.

 

Sometimes I think I am in a “Radio Yerevan” joke like this:

(Yerevan – capital of Armenia. These jokes were popular in Eastern Germany and the Soviet Union.)

 

 

 

Question to Radio Yerevan: "Is it correct that Grigori Grigorievich Grigoriev won a luxury car at the All-Union Championship in Moscow?"

Radio Yerevan answered: "In principle, yes. But first of all it was not Grigori Grigorievich Grigoriev, but Vassili Vassilievich Vassiliev; second, it was not at the All-Union Championship in Moscow, but at a Collective Farm Sports Festival in Smolensk; third, it was not a car, but a bicycle; and fourth he didn't win it, but rather it was stolen from him."

 

Is it true that ChristianPFC met a handsome Thai boy and they had great sex and no money changed hands? In principle yes, but…

[Guest]

It will probably be easier, faster and cheaper to go to the disco again and meet someone else.

True love......

[Guest fountainhall]

Fantastic report, Christian! So much fascinating detail that we don't usually see from other posters. I am delighted you are finally getting 'more', even if you still have some often amusing (and I am sure for you 'frustrating') encounters en route from initial contact to bed. And I do like the Yerevan joke! Do please give us more of your future adventures.

[ChristianPFC]

Yesterday, 19.05.2013, I met the Burmese woman again. Her house was on the way back from the shopping centre to my room, so I told her I would pop in on my way. Everything reported further is translated from Thai, she seems to be fluent, but can’t read and write.

 

The room is in the slum, but the rent per square meter is about the same as for my room. She earns 12,000 Baht per month and sends back 2-3,000 to her parents. I asked to see her passport: valid only for Thailand, T-L visa, permit to stay for 2 years, born 1987, and sex M. Face and voice did not allow me to determine his sex, but now the passport shows it’s a man.

 

We chat (often requires repetition, still I can only follow half of it, with Thais I could resort to writing, but here I have to do with the spoken word) and then he asks to see my room, so I invite him to follow me. In my room the chat turns to boyfriend/girlfriend, it turns out he is gay. I show him some pictures of my Thai friends (or boys I had offed) on my laptop, then he asks if I have “gay clip” (Thai euphemism for gay porn). I have that as well and show him some videos with Japanese, Philippines and Thai. He is very interested.

 

Finally, the conversations turns to what I like (sexually). I have to decline offers to get sucked, fuck him or get a handjob. He is absolutely not my type. It would be shorter to list reasons why elephants can’t fly than to explain why he is not my type. Life in Thailand has plenty of twists. If I wasn’t an atheist already, I could lose my faith over this.

 

But he knows about a gay disco or other kind of venue (entry is 160 Baht) in Lam Sip (?) I haven’t heard of or I just can’t match the spoken word with a name I read somewhere. So we will go there some day, he knows how to get there by bus 554.