Amnesty for cross-banned?

[Guest thaiworthy]

So it is. What confused me is the posting time in that first post which says 1:00 pm. Scooby's quote puts it at 12:53. If that seeing eye dog can read, then I hope it can tell time, too.

[Guest fountainhall]

What confused me is the posting time in that first post which says 1:00 pm. Scooby's quote puts it at 12:53.

 

It's not only the time of that first posting. Look at your post #24 timed at 12:38. Then look at jomtien's reply. It quotes your post as being timed at 12:31. Now look at all other quotes from earlier posts, and you note that  all times are given as being 7 minutes earlier than posted. Does this mean we are all getting younger? 

 

I have said before I believe there is something wrong with the editing software, especially when it comes to quoting from other posts. This seems to reinforce that view. As an example, quote from an earlier post and then try erasing the first part of the text. If you mistakenly try to erase beyond the first letter (by highlighting the first words and then using delete, for example), you not only lose the quote, you lose your entire answer and flip back a page.

 

I also thank Scooby for clearing up the issuing of banning. I think it is now time for shamahan to take the matter up privately with Scooby. If he wishes to continue the discussion here, I suggest he need to be quite a bit more specific.

[Guest shamahan]

I am very pleased with Gaybutton response to this topic. Every board owner is entitled to run their message board as he sees fit.

I have to admit that unfortunately I cannot participate in most of the message boards (and not because I am being banned).

For my taste most of the participants do not show tolerance to views of others and it is pity cause majority not necessarily correct.

I hope that Scooby will allow to my friend to participate here.

As for me, I am back to my cave. Good bye.

[Guest]

I hope that Scooby will allow to my friend to participate here.

Scooby is usually rather tolerant with posting privileges. People do not get thrown out for no good reason.

 

If we consider this thread alone, we have a new member who has made:

1 A number of inaccurate accusations.

2 Insulting criticisms of the existing board content.

3 No significant positive contribution himself.

 

Now if someone carries on like that, with an agenda merely to cause trouble, what's the value in allowing continued participation by that member?

[Guest thaiworthy]

Now if someone carries on like that, with an agenda merely to cause trouble, what's the value in allowing continued participation by that member?

 

It is the poster's perceived value. The best way to complain is to proclaim persecution:

 

For my taste most of the participants do not show tolerance to views of others and it is pity cause majority not necessarily correct.

[Guest fountainhall]

Good-bye!

[KhorTose]

I too wish to compliment Gaybutton for coming on this forum and setting the record straight.  It was a nice thing to do.

Mr. Shamahan I can guarantee that if your friend joins this web board he will be welcomed by me, until he proves that his addition to this site is detrimental, and then I will only challenge him or ignore him.  I will not advocate for his removal unless he blatantly violates the rules of this board.  As for you, I am reminded of others who live in a cave, and think it is time for you to get some sunlight. 

 

[Guest fountainhall]

"to share his incredible discoveries . . .

"his voice is a distorted echo . . .

"his body is a grotesque shadow . . .

"they cannot understand his fantastic stories of the world . . . to them it will never exist."

 

I could have sworn that was BL! 

[Guest Chithai]

IP addresses are easily seen on most any site by the site owner, and even if a person's using a "ghost" go-between site to hide their address, their style (or behavior) will usually give them away soon enough. The way I see it...if they behave, who cares if they remain a member.  I know personally of one flaming a**hole that slings mud at me and my blog and still posts constructive and kind comments. Go figure.

 

Perhaps I’m stepping in on an ongoing conversation that extends beyond the breadth of this thread that I’m unaware of, but as an observation from an uninterested third party it would seems to me that if you are having difficulties with one of the readers on your blog rather than using vulgarities about him on a third party site it is possible you may provoke a more gentile response from him in the future by discussing your issues directly with him in private.

 

 

As well-intended constructive criticism, not being familiar with your blog I would be unlikely to bother visiting it after reading the comment you posted here; I realize I may be old school but I was taught that a gentleman is capable of expressing himself without resorting to the use of profanities. I only mention this because I took some time deciding which of the forums dealing with gay Thailand I would join and this one appeared to be the most agreeable in the manner in which members conducted themselves. I do hope the opinion I formed was not in error.

 

 

On a more general note, I have participated on internet forums for years and seldom have run across the issue of banning members until recently when I began looking at several that covered gay Thailand. Is this the norm for this area of interest? And if so, why is that?

[Guest thaiworthy]

And if so, why is that?

 

Put simply: Familiarity breeds contempt. The free dictionary defines this to mean if you know someone very well (through their posting) or experience something a lot, (through similar interests) you stop respecting them. Things are compounded immensely by the fact that most posters are anonymous and use multiple handles, which complicates the issue. The average age of posters may be a factor, but not always and this is only my opinion anyway. People can be bitter about an unglorious past, or be jealous of someone who appears to have (or be) something greater than they. Add to the mix a plethora of gossip and innuendo and you have the makings of a virtual world where all these surface in the form of one or two members. They have absolutely no self-control, no self-worth and no other life but to accelerate their actions toward banishment.

 

If you want to know more, read the board rules. Banished people have blatantly and overwhelmingly disobeyed them. It can be as simple as that.

 

Concerning Bao-bao, he tried your suggestion. It didn't work. I'll let him defend himself, but he is widely-respected (my opinion) among all the boards and I hold him in the highest esteem.

 

Behavior on boards is prone to problems like this everywhere, not just Gay Thailand. I can't believe you have been so lucky as to not having been exposed to more of it. Perhaps you can help change all that here. Good luck, sir! Hope you stick around.

[KhorTose]

Perhaps I’m stepping in on an ongoing conversation that extends beyond the breadth of this thread that I’m unaware of, but as an observation from an uninterested third party it would seems to me that if you are having difficulties with one of the readers on your blog rather than using vulgarities about him on a third party site it is possible you may provoke a more gentile response from him in the future by discussing your issues directly with him in private.

 

 

As well-intended constructive criticism, not being familiar with your blog I would be unlikely to bother visiting it after reading the comment you posted here; I realize I may be old school but I was taught that a gentleman is capable of expressing himself without resorting to the use of profanities. I only mention this because I took some time deciding which of the forums dealing with gay Thailand I would join and this one appeared to be the most agreeable in the manner in which members conducted themselves. I do hope the opinion I formed was not in error.

 

 

On a more general note, I have participated on internet forums for years and seldom have run across the issue of banning members until recently when I began looking at several that covered gay Thailand. Is this the norm for this area of interest? And if so, why is that?

Okay, first question is how long have you been a member of the gay community and how long have you been in Pattaya? 

Just kidding, but other boards like Thai Visa do have rules, and they do ban members when they don't follow these rules so I am not sure if exactly what you are asking.  Is it more common on the gay boards.  Never did a study on it, but it may be as the gay boards in Thailand are mostly men, versus the family boards on other sites.  Single gay men do seem---to me---to challenge each other more then a mixed board.  however, i repeat I have never done a study on this.

[Guest fountainhall]

Perhaps I’m stepping in on an ongoing conversation that extends beyond the breadth of this thread

 

All positive contributions that help to develop a discussion are welcome.

 

it would seems to me that if you are having difficulties with one of the readers on your blog rather than using vulgarities about him on a third party site it is possible you may provoke a more gentile response from him in the future by discussing your issues directly with him in private.

 

I assume you are referring specifically to baobao's blog and the earlier comment he made on this thread. I have to admit I do not read baobao's blog. I have, however, seen near vitriolic attacks on him/his blog on other boards. If the attacks were limited to appearing on his own blog, I would agree with you 100%. However, when the poster concerned makes them openly on third party sites, I think baobao - and every other poster so treated - has every right to defend himself on those particular Boards.

 

I realize I may be old school but I was taught that a gentleman is capable of expressing himself without resorting to the use of profanities. 

 

I agree with both you and Oscar Wilde, “The expletive is the refuge of the semi-literate.” However, you and Oscar Wilde - and perhaps some other posters here - are of the old school. Certainly you will not find the profanity here that you do in some other gay thailand sites - one in particular which will remain nameless.

 

Sadly, as we all know, in this day of the internet, on-line dating, twitter, facebook, posters with multiple handles and personalities and the like, the manners of yesteryear have been superseded by the language of instant, faceless communication. Irony, saracsm, the sharp scholarly retort in answering a perceived slight or a disagreement has been replaced by the language of the gutter - and sometimes an especially foul one. When certain posters reply to a post on a Board or a Blog with a series of posts in a manner that uses such language in the extreme and continues so to do, what is the gentlemanly way of defending oneself? A polite PM suggesting that he desist from such profanity in future? Once again, it is sad that the effect of such an action will be absolutely zero. 

 

That is no argument for fighting profanity with profanity. And despite the occasional differences on this Board, you have clearly discovered that this is the least 'profane' of the gay Thailand Boards of which I am aware.

 

I have participated on internet forums for years and seldom have run across the issue of banning members until recently when I began looking at several that covered gay Thailand. Is this the norm for this area of interest? And if so, why is that?

 

The Posting Guidelines on this Board are very clear. As with almost all Boards, if the rules are broken, posting privileges are withdrawn. I imagine it has to be roughly the same on all Boards - if they have rules. The number of posters banned from this Forum in recent years is, I believe, two - and that was for flagrant violations. Is that a large number? Perhaps you might consider giving us an indication of Boards you have been reading which have not banned members.

[Bob]

Loosen up, gentlemen.  Seems somewhat silly to me to get into lectures about "profanity" and how a gentleman should act just because a single reference is made to a "flaming a**hole."  If that gets anyone's skirt in a knot, perhaps a little valium would help.

 

But, as noted, any semi-literate poster here simply doesn't use profanity.  Well, at least I never fucking do.  

[Guest thaiworthy]

Balderdash!

 

I didn't mean to say that. I don't even know what that means.

 

Loosen up, gentlemen.

 

But I can say that the subject of lubricants belongs in the condom thread, Bob.

 

And I really think FH was just trying to be helpful.

[Bob]

And I really think FH was just trying to be helpful.

 

I knew that and part of my comments were tongue-in-cheek (which typically requires no lubricants....). 

[Guest fountainhall]

I hold no grudge against Bob! Never have. We may have violent disagreements from time to time (or I am sure we should have had even if I cannot recall them), but we resolve them in the proper gentlemanly manner - usually pistols, with Khortose acting as the indifferentem (Latin = unbiased  ) referee! Little wonder my medical insurance premium is now so high!

 

When a scholarly poster like Chithai joins the discussion, I think a little considered and scholarly response is called for.

[KhorTose]

I hold no grudge against Bob! Never have. We may have violent disagreements from time to time (or I am sure we should have had even if I cannot recall them), but we resolve them in the proper gentlemanly manner - usually pistols, with Khortose acting as the indifferentem (Latin = unbiased  ) referee! Little wonder my medical insurance premium is now so high!

 

When a scholarly poster like Chithai joins the discussion, I think a little considered and scholarly response is called for.

Sorry, but I suspect Bob has more money then you so I cannot be indifferentem, but  with the proper payment I would become partialitatem.  Sadly, then you may find that your pistol may not be loaded.  However, Bob may not have enough money for me to put up with many jokes like his "tongue in cheek joke" at the end of page 2 of this thread. Peeing my pants laughing does not make me happy.

[Guest fountainhall]

Sorry, but I suspect Bob has more money then you

 

I'd lay all my savings on that!!

 

Sadly, then you may find that your pistol may not be loaded

 

In which case, peeing in my pants would be the least of my worries 

[Guest Chithai]

Thanks Thaiworthy, but with all due respect I can not agree with your reading of the proverb that familiarity breeds contempt. Its origin comes from one of Aesop’s fables, the lesson of which is that the fear of the unknown is reduced through getting to know it better. It is a positive application of the principle, not one that excuses showing a lack of respect for something or someone you have come to know well.

 

I can understand the causes you cite (being anonymous, age, bitterness, jealousy, gossip and innuendo) for acting in a reprehensible manner but none of those are a justifiable excuse for poor behavior. At the same time, while they do show a lack of character, I don’t believe they automatically signal a lack of self control, lack of self-worth, or having no other life. Unfortunately we all at times act from some of those causes.

 

I’m not familiar with the specific actions that have been the cause of banning members on these boards, though the banishment act itself is a hot topic on several right now. As I mentioned before, in my past and current participation on boards covering other interests, doing so is an extremely rare occasion if it happens at all. Perhaps Robert Kennedy’s statement "Every society gets the kind of criminal it deserves. What is equally true is that every community gets the kind of law enforcement it insists on" is applicable in this arena, but that still makes me ask why. Being anonymous, age, bitterness, jealousy, gossip and innuendo are certainly not only found among those who use the internet to discuss matters pertaining to gay Thailand.

 

As for bao-bao I’m not sure how widely-respected he is if the post I referred to is any indication of the man’s mettle. It struck me as being mean spirited and I commented on it because it struck such a jarring note in the discussion. But then that is a first impression. Perhaps familiarity with his persona through future comments will breed respect rather than contempt.

 

Fountainhall, I was referring to the gentleman’s comment on this thread. I am unfamiliar with his history or of the attacks you mention. However, I saw no evidence of that type of behavior in this thread. Perhaps he would better serve himself by defending himself when said attacks are specifically made, or on those boards where you say he has been attacked. Please understand I am not attempting to pick on the man, but offered my opinion regarding the comment he made and how someone unfamiliar with his history perceived it. Sometimes we can become set in our ways and don’t realize how we appear to others unless someone speaks up. Since the gentleman’s tag line includes a link to his blog, which is usually a form of promotion, I thought some constructive feedback might be beneficial to him.

 

As for defending oneself in a gentlemanly manner, one can rise above the occasion or stoop to the level of baser folk. Truth always wins out; an honorable man seldom finds need to defend his honor or actions. The message boards I have participated on in the past are both business and general-interest related, some of which are geared toward gay men. On occasion a disagreeable member makes an appearance, which is always short-lived. Not from banning but from the lack of response he or she receives.

 

And Bob, profanity for its shock value in humor does have its place. It just falls flat when the humor is lacking.

[Guest thaiworthy]

Thanks Thaiworthy, but with all due respect I can not agree with your reading of the proverb that familiarity breeds contempt. Its origin comes from one of Aesop’s fables, the lesson of which is that the fear of the unknown is reduced through getting to know it better. It is a positive application of the principle, not one that excuses showing a lack of respect for something or someone you have come to know well.

 

This is my understanding of the idiom, and yes-- it's origin does come from one of Aesop's fables. Of course it is fear of the unknown. That is at the very base of many problems among people. People on boards don't want to be known better. The moment they try, they are met with contempt. The positive application of the fable is obvious. We should all be more friendly and get to know each other better. It's the outcome that is the problem and that's why I answered your question the way I did. Originally, yes, the fables did teach positive lessons.

 

But Aesop's story hardly supports the current shade of meaning - at least not on the surface. Language is dynamic, and words become associated with new subtleties as time passes.  Perhaps our challenge is to explore the meaning of the word contempt.

 

Here is a link of some modern-day examples and why I used it to possibly help answer your question. I still feel it is appropriate.

 

 

 It's Monday morning.  You are a leader.

 

Youíve been dealing with people for a long time.  You understand the cycle.  Youíve experienced it.  That initial enthusiasm over a new friendship.  The heady excitement of a common goal.  The wild possibilities.  The shared hopes and dreams.  The birth of great expectations. 

 

Time passes.  You become familiar.  Familiar with the territory.  Familiar with the fundamental realities.  Familiar with the foibles, and the quirks, and the missed deadlines and the less-than-acceptable commitments.  Familiar with the cast of characters and their frailties.  Dreams fade.   Hopes dim.  Expectations drop.  Predictions turn from spectacular gains to heavy losses. 

 

Contempt creeps in.

 

The whole process can cause you to put up your guard.  Drive you into isolation.  It can fill you with gloom.  It will paint the future in the dark colors of doom. 

 

It happens in marriages.  In churches.  In corporations.  In education.  In families.  In the political arena.  In the professions.  Among artists and managers and musicians and writers.  Familiarity breeds contempt.  No wonder Aesopís phrase is still in regular use.

 

Contempt is human nature.  It happens.  How and why can be a mystery, but I do know this: contempt is poison.  It is toxic in any relationship.

 

While we all may feel contempt from time to time, at various levels of intensity, effective leaders must eliminate it.  Root it out. 

 

It will kill your friendship.  It will destroy your marriage.  It will derail your project.  It will devastate your staff.  It can rob you of your own health.

 

Familiarity should rather lead to understanding.  Mutual respect.  Deeper caring.  Greater effectiveness.  Maturity.  Long term growth.  More genuine affection.

 

But familiarity also breeds contempt.

 

And contempt is the sworn enemy of success.

 

Deal with it.

 

Today.

 

http://www.kenkemp.com/leaderfocus/LFJUL01_02.htm

 

You asked a question and I answered it. I gave you my honest opinion for a more timely use of the fable. It is regrettable you didn't agree with it. Maybe we can strike an accord on some other subject sometime soon.

[TotallyOz]

As for bao-bao I’m not sure how widely-respected he is if the post I referred to is any indication of the man’s mettle.

From all the conversations I have had with others, he is greatly respected. I think he is a great writer and GIVER of information. Speaking of The Giver, I just finished part 2 of The Giver series by Lois Lowry called Gathering Blue. It was fantastic. Can't wait to read the other 2 in that series. (throwing out literature here so I can at least appear to others that I am well read).

 

I have a potty mouth and have been told from time to time on boards to behave. LOL I hope all this is not over the use of a few bad words. Maybe I am just not as intellectual as the rest of you to figure this out. Where is Khun Jovianmoon to lead me on this thread?

[Guest]

On a more general note, I have participated on internet forums for years and seldom have run across the issue of banning members until recently when I began looking at several that covered gay Thailand. Is this the norm for this area of interest? And if so, why is that?

Members VERY rarely get banned here.

 

As for your question, why is the subject discussed so frequently on Gay Thailand boards? The answer is in your question.

Clearly some members join with the specific intention of asking questions about other bans. Hence it is discussed.

 

In this thread alone, we now have two virtually new members questioning board policy on bans.

 

One of those joined a few days after the last ban.

The other new member joined today and within 9 minutes made his first post on the matter.

 

Why is this topic of such interest for "new" members?

Would they both be in any way connected or communicating with ex-members?

[kokopelli]

As for bao-bao I’m not sure how widely-respected he is if the post I referred to is any indication of the man’s mettle.

My experience is that bao-bao is very widely respected. One of the best of posters and blogger.

 

I found his use of "flaming a-hole" most descriptive.

[baobao]

Perhaps I’m stepping in on an ongoing conversation that extends beyond the breadth of this thread that I’m unaware of, but as an observation from an uninterested third party it would seems to me that if you are having difficulties with one of the readers on your blog rather than using vulgarities about him on a third party site it is possible you may provoke a more gentile response from him in the future by discussing your issues directly with him in private.

 

 

As well-intended constructive criticism, not being familiar with your blog I would be unlikely to bother visiting it after reading the comment you posted here; I realize I may be old school but I was taught that a gentleman is capable of expressing himself without resorting to the use of profanities.

 

Chithai,  to be completely honest here, there is no reasoning with - or gentle responses possible from - the person I referred to, but it's nothing that needs discussing further on this forum and I'm sorry I brought it up.

 

I support your line of thinking, though, and also feel that the gentle approach is usually the best one - hence the nickname "bao bao", which I was told long ago means "gently". If you read my blog you'd quickly see that, and you're welcome to visit (and comment) any time. The person I mentioned visits regularly and comments, though I can't for the life of me figure out why if they despise me as much as they claim to - that's what I didn't make clear. Sorry.

[Guest fountainhall]

As for defending oneself in a gentlemanly manner, one can rise above the occasion or stoop to the level of baser folk. Truth always wins out; an honorable man seldom finds need to defend his honor or actions. The message boards I have participated on in the past are both business and general-interest related, some of which are geared toward gay men. On occasion a disagreeable member makes an appearance, which is always short-lived. Not from banning but from the lack of response he or she receives.

 

I do not agree with your statements - and that is borne out by experience, alas. But since you raise the matter of gentlemanly conduct and disagreeable posters disappearing due to lack of response, may I direct you now to two sites - Bahtstop and Sawatdee-Gay-Thailand - where the poster known as Beachlover (aka Snapshot) has made a sudden reappearance. I might add - a loathsome reappearance. Indeed the moderator of Bahtstop has made what I believe is one of his rare interventions by editing the post as it constituted "a personal attack . . . as well as pattern of posting that could be interpreted as stalking, attacking, insulting or unduly abusing others." 

 

On SGT the said poster has been up to his usual tricks of dredging up ancient posts and adding his two cents worth – often, you will note, distinctly ungentlemanly – as in the following:

 

“I know lots of young gay guys who enjoy visiting Thailand. Some of them go year after year. They just don't go anywhere near the sleazy prostitution stuff so you guys in Pattaya are less likely to see them.”

 

“abhorrent underage shit”

 

If ever there was proof that your idea of gentlemanly conduct does not work on the internet, I much regret that this is it.

 

I trust the owner and moderators here will be aware of what is happening elsewhere and be on their guard.