How much would you spend on a thai boy?

[Guest gonefishing]

I never thought of that, but I think for the most part gonefishing is right about "farang" living here and in a relationship, but not in one with a boy that started as a holiday romance, and that includes me. I'm sure there are a few, but not many.

 

I LOVE that idea, gonefishing. Find an orphan. Now that will save you a ton of money . . . unless of course he lies and tells you a few dead water buffalo stories first to get what he can out of you while the getting is good.

 

A very good friend of mine has his own solution. He always says, "If you want love from a Thai boy, rent it for a night or two and then send him on his way."

 

GB,

 

interested to see that you have a similar experience about holiday romances continuing (or not) once farang come to live here. I am sure, too, that there must be some but, apparently like you, I have yet to meet any - I wonder why? ... and, co-incidentally, my boyfriend is an orphan!

 

As far as those on holiday are concerned, I concur with your friend's solution - but not for those living here, or they are missing out on the chance of something very special.

 

But of course, maybe a difference is he never worked in a bar and I didnt find him that way.

sometimes fellow posters need to chill out and calm down....

 

You say he isn't poor - you do not know frankly....

 

And as a matter of fact i have seen my bf almost every day - it is not a long distance relationship

And your last paragraph completely distorts what i was trying to point out - see my first sentence above - I am not saying bar boys are somehow socially inferior. I feel you have read far too much into what i posted - the spirit of the post was just to show that it is not a life of fear, lies and heartbreak when we find a Thai boyfriend.

 

Y UK,

 

no personal offence meant, but if you did not consciously mean anything demeaning about bar boys / ex-bar boys then why not only bring up the point about your bf never working in a bar but emphasise it with "of course", clearly inferring that it does make a difference to you and, you presumably believe, to others? Maybe now that you are calm and chilled you may wish to re-consider either your views or that part of your post.

 

You are quite correct - I do not know how poor he is and may have jumped to the wrong conclusion. Maybe you spent your 3 weeks with his family in a home-made shack, with no water, no electricity, and no furniture or bedding except that given out by the government or charity, as many poor rural Thais do - as my boyfriend did, after he left school at 12 to earn 800 baht a month before he left to try to find a better life in Bangkok and then Pattaya where he happened to work in a bar (while still remaining proud of his background, being Thai, and genuinely amused about all aspects of his life).

 

When I referred to "those supporting their boyfriends from afar" I was referring to them, not to your personal relationship about which I knew nothing. Many who do so justify it on the same grounds as the expense of supporting a wife or family if they were straight, and I believe that this is a valid point.

 

My last paragraph clearly referred not only to you but to all (including "some of my friends") who consider that it does make "a difference" whether a Thai boyfriend worked in a bar or not. I was not distorting or reading far too much into what you posted; I had no need to as merely repeating that particular line of yours was sufficient.

 

I do agree with you 100%, however, that "it is not (necesarily) a life of fear, lies and heartbreak when we find a (genuine) Thai boyfrend" (my additions).

 

at age 23, I'll feel horribly old if he ask me for money than what I'm offering to help. It's just a feeling, I may look at it different if I'm 4x. definately.

 

It's not him - it's me, I think I liked him because he's good looking & I could be a butterfly. If I'm going to be cynical in a relationship, I'll be definately a heart-breaker.

 

noy9000,

 

To be brutally honest, for age 23 you do sound "horribly old" before your time. If, as you say, his primary attraction to you is that "he's good looking & (you) could be a butterfly" why are you burdening yourself with this sort of relationship and responsibility? Get on with enjoying your life while you still can before it is too late.

 

my boy friend whom iv'e know and loved for over 6 years goes like this ...

 

b'b,

 

if your definition of a "boyfriend" is someone who eats and sleeps at your house when he wants, can do his laundry at your house, and whom you have paid sex with when you want, then it differs from mine. Nothing personal, just that a boyfriend means different things to different people.

 

[Guest noy9000]

noy9000,To be brutally honest, for age 23 you do sound "horribly old" before your time. If, as you say, his primary attraction to you is that "he's good looking & (you) could be a butterfly" why are you burdening yourself with this sort of relationship and responsibility? Get.

I 'think' I like him because he is attractive. There're other supportive reasons, maybe because he have been saving me some money also (I'm finally learning how to take the public transport & also bargaining etc), I would had thought he may want me to bring him to a restaurant - but he brings me to a street side stall.

 

The Ram. university fees, I thought i will be 5-6,000thb. he corrected me, he's taking 4 subjects - so it's about 2-3,000thb. evidently, i'm somehow impressed. I wanted him to go to Wall street for english lessons, so, we can communicate better. He opt for AUA, because it's cheaper & AUA has been his 'dreams'. go figure.

 

Okay. The story is over, he is acceptive of me being not taking care of his family & will not talk about them in front of me (I believe he means 'try'). It's going to be 2-3,000baht for his university fees, 5,000baht for AUA fees (I want him to go for 6 weeks course), &, 7,000baht monthly. Of course, I'm willing to bring him for shopping trips sometimes - that wasn't said.

 

The point is - he never come across greedy, always, quick to comment that I'm giving him too much money; yet when he ask me for a minimal sum of money (2,500thb for the last 1), I got all suspicious. Damn! I really should just shoot myself. The overall money spent was lower than I was willing to pay, yet, I got fussy.

 

Maybe it's attractive.ness, maybe with some time spent together now - there's a feeling going on, I don't know. I know when I said I want to move to Phuket today, he asked : "are you sure?", "i think if you go to phuket, i go back to Chiang Rai". (According to him, Ram university 's education can be done by distance learning - I don't want to verify this 1).

 

"Okay. go back to Chiang Rai!" he smiles away.... Tonight, i'm feeling abit, well, in love. Afterall he did compromise totally to me (hey! I'm doing him quite a favor too, right?). I really feel like sinking into it, but, I want a rope that I can pull to shore.

 

Life is really not - like a boy? rent him & forget him.

[Guest francois]

Like Gonefishing my bf is also an orphan! Hope were not dating the same boy?

But even orphans have grannys and sisters, etc who are always in need.

 

But back to Noy9000's orignal question, I think 10,000 Baht/month is a good deal to pay for someone attending the universite and language school, etc.

 

Wish I could do that my Little Orphan Prince.

[Guest Aunty]

Aunty. I don't know why you did this for him - you didn't say -

 

Let's just say I need all the merit I can get. Honey when I read the bible, I'm looking for loopholes.

 

 

I'm glad you had the fortitude to withstand the constant pleas for even more money. You made a deal and insisted on sticking to it, and that's really the only way.

 

I totally agree with you, and I think your whole take on not supporting the family is absolutely spot on. Look if one is very wealthy it doesn't matter. What's 250,000 -300,000 Baht a year, it's chicken feed. But for those of us with more regular incomes taking on that kind of burden is just unsustainable and will ultimately kill the relationship. My other concern too is that if one agrees to fund a family rather than a 'boy' one is actually taking on the responsibility for that entire family for as long as the relationship lasts. If one gives money to buy food for the baby this month, then one becomes obligated to give money next month for medicine for the baby, and then clothes for the baby, then bedding etc., etc., etc. And if one is paying for the sister's baby, how can one possibly refuse to pay for the other sister's doctors visits? And then when the relationship ends, the economic impact is felt across a much greater number of people and the loss of face to the 'boy' is just that much larger. I don't feel comfortable with this. I very much like the medical practitioner

[Guest gonefishing]

Like Gonefishing my bf is also an orphan! Hope were not dating the same boy?

But even orphans have grannys and sisters, etc who are always in need.

 

francois,

 

glad to let you know it is definitely not the same one! Mine has not been in Pattaya for 7 years, has lived with me for the best part of 4 years, with only the very occasional day away, so we will not be fighting over him! I did "know" another orphan working in Pattaya around 7 years ago, with a tattoo around his left upper arm and whose father was killed while working in the Border patrol police, however, so you never know!!

 

No grannys, etc, and the sisters did little to look after him when was growing up, so any obligations he feels he has there have been paid in full.

 

Best of luck.

[Guest namjai]

The only thing I have not been asked for in the past is "My farang is sick and needs money", but all of others I have heard.

 

Just be careful with your money and your heart.