BigTopMe Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 i met a guy in Bangkok gorgeous beautiful sweet (a little moody lol) We spent 10 days together He never asked for money but i did but buy him a 4ooo baht birthday gift Now im back home in the states and he says he needs money to pay his rent i dont if its get farang money or he is really in trouble its only 154 dollars but i don't want him to think I can pay his rent every month at the same time if he is in distress i don't want to not help him Advise help me please Bigtopme Quote
Guest timmberty Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 i wouldnt pay it, unless its money you can afford to waste .. but then im not very trusting of people .. i ask silly questions like why is it almost every boy that gets offed from a bar seems to have a birthday during a long off ... why is there almost always a disaster somewhere in the family .. you say yourself the boy is goodlooking, goodlooking enough for you to off him for 10 days not the sign of someone whos going to be skint ... some of these boys make a fortune . id imagine yours will. bty 154 dollars is a lot of money for a bar boy room rent .. even more so as most of them live 3 or 4 to a room. Quote
Rogie Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Timmberty's advice is fine and many would agree with what he says. However, if you send him what he's asking which is about 4,500 baht, together with the 4,000 baht gift, you'll have given him approx 8,500 baht. Add to that meals, drinks and entertainment, etc which no doubt you payed for so that'd add up to over 10,000 baht. Just supposing you had negotiated a daily tip in advance, what would have been fair? Many people reckon 1,500 - 2,000 baht a day is reasonable. I think, provided you make it clear this will be a one-off payment of his rent, and bearing in mind you had an enjoyable time in this young man's company, that if you send him this money you will still have got yourself a pretty good deal. TotallyOz 1 Quote
TotallyOz Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I agree with Rogie. I'd pay it and make sure he "knew" it was a one time thing. However, if that money is not going to kill you, it may help him a great deal. Quote
firecat69 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I agree with Rogie also. After all it is almost Xmas and it sounds like he gave you a lot more pleasure then 4000 baht. Tell he should consider it a one time gift from Santa. Quote
Guest HeyGay Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I'd pay it if he's the best sex you've had and he sends you wild with his looks and body, like many if us here we have paid many rents in the past well they said It was for rent, but if he is a guy who you feel us not robbing you and others go for it, if he makes you happy if you had a son I'm sure you would do the same, especially if you can get here on a regular basis, if not and you feel you have a wonderful regular Skype meeting with him a big YES. It will give you both a good feeling inside. Quote
Guest thaiworthy Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Rogie, Firecat and Michael are right. If you had tipped him 2000 baht for each of the 10 days you were with him, sending him just 10,000 baht now would be a bargain. He never asked you for money? Send it. He earned it, he deserves it and if you couldn't afford it, I doubt you'd even have mentioned it here. That's just my own assessment, or opinion, since you are asking for advice. Thai guys are wonderful people. I don't know what we'd do without them. We'd certainly be mighty lonely, or at least I would, that's for sure. Quote
Guest fountainhall Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Have you thought about how you will get this money to him? If you don't have internet banking facilities on a Thai Bank account and he needs the money now, you may be in for a costly transfer. Do you have his full Thai name and bank account details? 154 dollars is a lot of money for a bar boy room rent If he got no money during the 10 days apart from a birthday gift, it does not sound to me like he was a bar boy. Quote
kokopelli Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Heck, my bf's rent is 7000 TB/month including electric. 4000 is a bargain. If you plan to return any time soon and plan to hook up with him then send him the money. Can send by Western Union for about $21 USD or MoneyGram for $13 USD. If you don't see him in your future still send the money and block/ignore all his further emails, SMS etc. Quote
Bob Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Heck, my bf's rent is 7000 TB/month including electric. That might be about right for Bangkok but it's very high for either Pattaya or Chiangmai. As I understand it, many of the boys have rooms for 2200 to 3000 baht a month and often there's 2 or 3 sharing that. My bf's apartment here in Chiangmai was in the standard apartment builidng and cost 2,300 baht a month (plus utilities) whereas, when he worked in Bangkok for 6 months, his room there was almost half as big but still cost 7,500 per month. As to the original post in the thread, I can't fathom how any of us could offer advice given the paltry information given. He's known the guy all of 10 days? What arrangements/agreements were made before the OP left Thailand? Is the boy a barboy and going out with other falang? Does the OP know the boy well enough to be aware that he doesn't have other falang sending him money? If the OP has only known the kid for 10 days and there were no agreements prior to the time he left, I see no obligation at all nor can I believe the OP even knows enough to actually make an intelligent decision as to whether to send money or not. On the other hand, even if the OP knows precious little, he at least knows more than the rest of us and I suppose whatever he does is up to him. Quote
Guest jomtien Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 If he got no money during the 10 days apart from a birthday gift, it does not sound to me like he was a bar boy. Spoken as one who doesn't live in Pattaya Quote
Guest fountainhall Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 You mean it's common to take out bar boys and then leave them without any tip after 10 days? But the OP said "he never asked for money"! Quote
Guest jomtien Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I'll introduce you to my friend from New York. He visited here about 7 years ago and met a boy he liked. Spent whole time with the boy who, oddly (hah!), refused to take any money. Today the boy has a house full of furniture in his hometown, a motorbike, a plot of land and god knows what else! A smart boy can judge the future potential of a farang! Sort of like opening a department store with massive discounts, counting on future sales Quote
Guest abang Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 The issue here is NOT the amount of money. It is the validity of the request. You guys (the generous ones) are right. Even if he did not ask for a single cent during your stay there, he truly deserves a reward. However, it is vital to stress that this is an ONE-OFF gift. ** I remember an incident many years ago when I was a struggling undergraduate. My parents paid for the tuition fee but I have to find means for my daily expenses. No.. I did NOT offer my body.. that was unheard of during my young days. I did part-time tutoring and guess what, part-time modelling. Of course, those were the days when I had my 6-pack abs... Lastly to the TS, "A friend in need is a friend indeed". You may be his lifesaver - if his story is true. Quote
Guest fountainhall Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Today the boy has a house full of furniture in his hometown, a motorbike, a plot of land and god knows what else! A loss leader, I think the retail trade calls it! Quote
Guest timmberty Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 abang you say the boy truely deserves a reward !! can you say why he deserves it ?? he got paid for what he did .. id be more inclined to say the o.p. deserves a reward for looking after the boy .. rather than the other way around.. Quote
Guest Motel69 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I've been to Thailand a few times already this year. And each trip I've spent with the same guy. He makes me feel ... awesome. Intoxicatingly so. At my age I couldn't put a priceon that feeling. If he asked me for a little bit of money like that, I'd send it plus a little extra ... and tell him he deserves a lot more. Quote
Guest timmberty Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 motel there are loads of boys who would make you feel like that if you pay them enough .. it could well be a self esteem thing ... i dont need someone to make me feel good .. i dont mind paying someone to have sex with .. but im aware enough to know its just sex .. the falling in love stuff is great for them as it will mean more money for them ... ive no idea how old you are .. but do you need to feel special ?? and if he makes you feel that good .. why not send him more money .. do you need to be asked ? bty i used the word aware not self aware ... so im not him Quote
Guest thaiworthy Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 abang you say the boy truely deserves a reward !! can you say why he deserves it ?? he got paid for what he did .. id be more inclined to say the o.p. deserves a reward for looking after the boy .. rather than the other way around.. I don't agree. How did he get paid? OP says he asked for no money, but does not say if the birthday gift was solicited. However, to me, a GIFT is something you give voluntarily, so I can't see how this can be considered payment. If you want to accept it as payment, that works out to 400 baht a day! My, we are a hard-hearted bunch. I'm sorry, I just don't see how many of these glaring incredulous statements apply. I am aghast at some of the things that have been said here: Spoken as one who doesn't live in Pattaya He met him in Bangkok. What's Pattaya got to do with anything? That might be about right for Bangkok but it's very high for either Pattaya or Chiangmai. As I understand it, many of the boys have rooms for 2200 to 3000 baht a month and often there's 2 or 3 sharing that. My bf's apartment here in Chiangmai was in the standard apartment builidng and cost 2,300 baht a month (plus utilities) whereas, when he worked in Bangkok for 6 months, his room there was almost half as big but still cost 7,500 per month. Once again, what does Pattaya or Chiang Mai got to do with anything? He spent 10 days with him, pure and simple. "Paying his rent" may be simply saving face for some other reason for why he needs money. The fact that he mentioned rent at all shows a little sincerity. Personally, I wouldn't need to question it. The real reason may be more complicated and harder to say in English. Who cares? When we earn a salary at our job, the boss doesn't ask us what the money is used for. Sorry, Bob. I just can't see your thinking here. Spent whole time with the boy who, oddly (hah!), refused to take any money. Today the boy has a house full of furniture in his hometown, a motorbike, a plot of land and god knows what else! Just plain cynical. We're talking a one-time payment here. ------------------- However, these guys got it right: Great attitude, gentlemen! The issue here is NOT the amount of money. It is the validity of the request. You guys (the generous ones) are right. Even if he did not ask for a single cent during your stay there, he truly deserves a reward. I've been to Thailand a few times already this year. And each trip I've spent with the same guy. He makes me feel ... awesome. Intoxicatingly so. At my age I couldn't put a priceon that feeling. If he asked me for a little bit of money like that, I'd send it plus a little extra ... and tell him he deserves a lot more. However, it is vital to stress that this is an ONE-OFF gift. Motel69, as far as I'm concerned, someone should give you a medal, and I wish it could be me. Quote
Guest Motel69 Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 No, no, no. It's not a falling in love thing. It's a fantasy thing. Like going to a movie and allowing yourself to believe the characters and story are real. So when I'm vacationing in Thailand and meet some 21-year-old whose eager to come back to my hotel, who is just phenomenal in bed, who then likes to stay awake well into daylight hours just laying there and talking, I let myself believe, hey, this hot, young Adonis really thinks that I'm the one whose hot. But at 51, I know I'm not. If I were, the same thing would happen to me in all the other gay bars I go to around the world. But it only happens in Thailand. And it's not that he's making me feel good about myself, that he's making me feel "special," that he's raising my self esteem; he's triggering my endorphins (I'm sure this is mostly due to the nightly two-hour-long sex marathons), making me feel like I'm on Ecstacy. While I haven't used that recreational pharmaceutical for more than a decade, I do remember it being expensive. An entire week's worth would've been probitively expensive. The guy's rent is actually very little. So if he made me feel like I was the star of my very own action movie, if he kicked in an entire week's worth of endorphins, then, yeh, I'm more than willing to help him out with his rent. And I also know that it's probably not really rent money, that it's much more likely to be pocket cash. Oh yeah, calling it "rent money" also keeps that fantasy alive. And there are not "plenty of boys" who could make me feel like that if I pay them enough. There are very, very few. So if the original poster happened to meet someone who helped him have a great trip to Thailand, my advice is to keep in touch with him so maybe the two of you could hook up again if you're ever back in Thailand. I really hate the go-go bar scene, but I was in one a while back, saw a really cute Cambodian, took him out for drinks and ended up back in my hotel room. But the sex was awful. He clearly wasn't into someone my age. Plus, he didn't enjoy the sex at all. In fact, he kept chanting, "Come now. Come. I want you to come. Come now. Come." It made me laugh. It did not kick in any endorphins, and the guy wasn't any fun to be around. And I can't imagine paying for sex gets much better than that. So, timberly, please go ahead and keep paying guys for sex. I'm sure the experience is just phenomenal. At least for you. Quote
Guest timmberty Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 thaiworthy maybe you are right .. i might have read the whole thing wrong .. ive assumed the boy was taken from a bar .. rather than someone the op met in a street or a bar or resturant etc ... if thats the case then me being me would still be cynical .. but i can't understand why a 50 year old would think a 20 year old has fallen in love with them and wants to spend 10 days away with someone he doesnt even know .. i mean who wouldnt ?? motel you pay for the fantasy i pay for the sex .. whats the differance ?? you probably pay more and hurt more after the guy has gone .. you ache about a love lost ? i enjoy the sex and move on .. its a game .. enjoy it as you will .. but please dont try to make out you are better than me because you play it differently . Quote
Guest thaiworthy Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 When I read the OP's situation, I did not get the feeling he was in love. He may have already made a decision and is looking for confirmation here. But love? At least not on the surface, it doesn't appear so. I did not see any emotional pleas, but I guess I could be wrong about that. I hate making assumptions. Quote
Guest jomtien Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Just plain cynical. We're talking a one-time payment here. Not cynical at all if one reads the whole quote! My point was a money boy can be smart, and adjust his game plan if a real prospect shows up. I have a lot of respect for the ones that actually think ahead to a long range plan. Just curious. Does it hurt to be aghast? Quote
Bob Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Sorry, Bob. I just can't see your thinking here. ..........Just plain cynical. We're talking a one-time payment here. Had you bothered to read Koko's immediately prior post (which part of my comments concerned), you might have understood the thinking. Or, if you bothered to read the rest of my post which dealt with the original post as I noted, that might have helped too. Regardless, I understand your statement that you don't like making assumptions, a comment you made right after you made a fair number of assumptions. Neither you nor I (or maybe even the OP) knows enough to suggest one way or the other whether any payment should be made (which, of course, was the point I was trying to make relating to the original post). If/when the OP chooses to fill in the details (presuming he even knows the relevant details), then perhaps somebody can choose to offer an informed opinion as to the wisdom of the payment or whether others' views are "cynical" or whatever. Quote
khaolakguy Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Ditch the paranoia, the fear that you might be taken for a ride, the dread of being sucked into a whirlpool of future commitments. You had fun with someone who, by the very nature of living in Thailand, has a much lower earning threshold, who, never having asked for anything since you have known him, asks for a little help............ Help him NOW! And don't labour the "it's only once" bit either! Just make light of it. "I've never paid anyone's rent before, but making an exception this time....." and do it NOW, what's to think about?! Quote
