Will Westerners Ever Understand Japan?

[Guest fountainhall]

Japan can often seem a strange country – and with good reason. Its language is difficult to speak and even more so to write (there are three different forms of the written language, and the characters are often all mixed up). Its surface formality and politeness often masks an aggressive interior. The fear of losing face means that when asking Japanese for directions to your hotel or a specific store, you are likely to end up miles from your destination. Giving wrong directions with a smile is infinitely preferable to admitting they do not know!

 

For entertainment, we know about the thriving sex scene, with its gay bars, host bars, escort services, saunas and the much smaller hattenbas. We know about the girlie bars, female escorts, schoolgirls being kept by older men, massage parlours and brothels. Even about the young male host bars where many gays would drool at the sight of the galaxy of gorgeous men on display. Sadly, these are reserved for older women who pay very handsomely for their company and the services they provide.

 

Another aspect of many Japanese is loneliness and a difficulty in interacting with others. The in-bred cultural norm of the square-peg being bashed into the round hole has been an aspect of Japanese life since before the samurai and the era of the Shogun. Japanese are expected to conform. The group always takes precedence over the individual. The group must be protected at all costs.

 

Those who have difficulty conforming or fitting in often go to what we would regard as extremes to avoid confrontation – or even just situations which will make them feel difficult. We have seen news footage of young men and women who remain locked up in the bedrooms of their parents’ small homes, refusing to come out for years. Or of salarymen going off to work each morning in their crumpled business suits and returning late in the evening telling their wives how difficult the day has been in the office. Only they have not been going to an office. They have been out of a job for months, their days spent in parks, totally unable to face up to the reality of admitting to their families that they have failed.

 

As the country’s more than 20-year recession since the boom days of the late 1980s continues unabated, more and more entrepreneurs have found ways to assist their countrymen face up to their loneliness. Fed up of the cost of young male or female escorts? How about renting a pet for an hour or two? Yes, you can do that! The Ja La La Café in Tokyo’s Akihabara electronics district is just one of a growing number of Cat Cafes which provide you with an hour or two of intimate encounters with a feline. Mind you, it will cost around US$12 per hour. And when you take your ‘friend’ back to the café, it will no doubt run into the arms of its next ‘customer’, leaving you with that empty feeling – almost like you get when time’s up with the bar boy of your choice, I suppose!

 

150 companies are now licensed in Tokyo alone to hire out animals and other beasts. (Well, how else would you describe a beetle? Yes, you can hire them, too)! Want a dog? Simple. You pay the hire fee and a deposit (in case you eat it???). In return, you also get some tissues and a plastic bag (very practical), and given advice on how to handle your temporary rental friend.

 

Rental of human interaction of a non-sexual nature is also on the rise. According to this BBC article -

 

Very popular at the moment is the Campus Cafe, where men go to socialise with female university students. It is cheaper than the upscale hostess clubs in which businessmen and politicians drink whisky with women in kimonos, although that is a business which is in crisis because of the recession.

 

Only a small proportion of the trade involves sex. Most hostesses are flatterers not prostitutes and customers come to find comfort in their words, not in their arms.

 

One specialist agency is known as Hagemashi Tai, which translates as I Want To Cheer Up Limited. It rents relatives.

 

Actors are despatched to play the part of distant relations at weddings and funerals. For an extra fee, they will even give a speech.

 

But the firm's services do not stop there. It can also provide temporary husbands to single mothers who want them.

 

The website says the ‘dad’ will help the children with their homework. He will sort out problems with the neighbours.

 

He will take the kids to a barbeque or to a park. He could also appear at the daunting interview with a nursery school head teacher which parents are required to endure in order to persuade the principal to give their child a good start in life.

 

http://news.bbc.co.u...ent/7818140.stm

 

And if you are a woman soon to get married, never fear. There is a service for you, too, when you can practice with a rented husband “although whether this involves seduction or sock washing is not exactly clear.”

 

Another thread in this forum discusses cultural differences between East and West. Since it was all but totally isolated from contact with the west for nearly 250 years, is this one reason for Japan being the most culturally complex country to comprehend?

[Guest thaiworthy]

Fountainhall, could I interest you in Rent-A-Mom? My mother is a delightful person, who, for a small fee, can tell you to chew 32 times and don't take such big bites at every meal. She will ask you if you've washed your hands, and check for dirt behind your ears, often saying there's enough to grow potatoes. She will complain about your driving, cry on cue when she's hurt by the slightest thing you say and make you feel all the more guilty if you try to resist even one of her suggestions. Want to hear stories about the pain of your birth? No problem at all. How about sharing an embarrassing moment you had as a baby when you shit thru your diapers in Church? All this can be had for you personally at a very reasonable rate. However, nagging is optional and involves a surcharge.

 

It seems there are things other people do for hire that I would never want myself. So now I've given you now something that ranks high on my list of things that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, let alone for pay. But then, you never know, do you? One man's nightmare is another man's dream and all that. But if Thaiworthy's mom is anything like Thaiworthy, you are in for a double treat, for only double-time rates, but why anyone would endure torture like that is beyond me.

 

So I'm thinking of moving my Mom to Japan so I can cash in. If you think Japan is a strange country now, just wait till my Mom gets there.

 

I hope you enjoy my Mother's company the next time you visit Japan. And don't forget to tell her she is getting younger every day. That is obligatory. If interested, please PM me.

 

BTW, I have Paypal.

[Guest fountainhall]

can tell you to chew 32 times

You too? That was my maternal grandmother's mantra, dished up every Sunday in my pre-teen years.

 

I think I'll take a rain check on your Mum. My wallet is not too full at present. And I need to use what's there on some other delights to tickle my fancy here. I'm sure you understand

[pong]

Fountainhall, could I interest you in Rent-A-Mom?.

Read the other day that in SE=Sweden they have started a ''rent a granny'' program. Seems to work both ways: stubborn teeners get a chance to explain what all those new gadgets are theur hard-working parents get a break from having to face those subborn faces (and they can be very, very like that overthere). The grannies earn a little pocket money to add to their generous penions.

Abbout Nihon/Yipun: have met enough of cute and less cute etc. young Japanese here in BKK to get an understanding. many tell they come here to escape all the rigours of how to behave in JPN. And grab the chance on that slice of freedom in many respects.

PS- JPnese pho gets sooooo boring all the same after 2 DVDs-even if they have re-re-touched to show the bodyparts that are non-allowed there.

[Guest fountainhall]

they have started a ''rent a granny'' program . . . teeners get a chance to explain what all those new gadgets are . . .

 

Now that's exactly what I need here - as long as he is cute as well as being technically savvy

 

JPnese pho gets sooooo boring all the same after 2 DVDs-even if they have re-re-touched to show the bodyparts that are non-allowed there.

 

Totally agree. You constantly need to have a finger on the fast-forward button. I find the maddening thing about most vdos is they stick to just a handful of basic, routine, well-worn (worn-out!) formulas. More than a bit like the inflexibility of everyday life in Japan, perhaps? Porn mirroring life?

 

I admit that I quite like one or two of the vdos but only when the guys are really cute. Field's Surf, Surf Revolution 7th Mix is a favourite because the guys seem to have some real feelings.

[KhorTose]

Want a dog? Simple. You pay the hire fee and a deposit (in case you eat it???).

 

Okay, worth a smile

 

One specialist agency is known as Hagemashi Tai, which translates as I Want To Cheer Up Limited. It rents relatives.

 

I don't know about anyone else but I've got several relatives I would like to get rid of. Why would anyone want additional relatives?

[Guest fountainhall]

I've got several relatives I would like to get rid of. Why would anyone want additional relatives?

I heartily recommend living thousands of miles away if you have difficult relatives! But in Japan, the present generation probably doesn't have many relatives. The country's birth rate has been in decline for decades. By the 1980s, the rate fell below 1.5 per woman, effectively introducing negative growth. So maybe I should register with one of the agencies to do weddings as a long-lost uncle! . . . What? . . . OK, a long-lost great uncle Could be a nice little pension boost!

[pong]

anohter pretty sad aspect of JPNese society are their look-kreung: half childs-JPNese and western. Or at least that is what they all told me when I got pretty close to them for a while here in BKK. They kind of gathered up in summer to be among themselves in a non-agressive environment.

But on a milder scale the same was told by nice girls who shunned the idea of only being OL: office lady. Compared to the Thai at least they can think more independently.

[Guest snapshot]

Interesting take on Japan, FH... It's an amazing culture and a lot of fantastic things have come out of it but geez, there's a lot of disfunctionality in it. Japanese guys are very sexy and friendly but I find them a little more challenging to relate to and get to know than other Asian nationalities.