The Farang that got away in Gay Thailand

[TotallyOz]

Last night I had a Thai friend I have known for a while to my place. He is sweet and adorable. He is also very sexy and intelligent. He is a great combination of many things. He came to me for advice. I was hoping he had come to me for more than just advice but I take what I can get.

 

He is a student in Bangkok and only comes to Pattaya when he has a long vacation. He met a farang who he took a liking to and vice versa. They were only together for less than one week. The farang told him that he would take him off from the bars permanently and he would not have to work his regular job when he returned to university in 2 weeks. The boy was happy. The farang offered to pay for tuition of 80k baht per year, a monthly stipend of 30k baht and take care of all other expenses related to living in Bangkok. In return, the farange got weekends and the only requirement was for him to spend 2 days on weekends with him and to never go with another customer again.

 

The deal was set and all was great with both parties. The boy went back to his bar to get his salary for the month as was told another customer was waiting for him and it was one of his regulars. He decided to see him one last time and went off from the bar. According to the boy, the farange that had offered to take care of him had paid his off for the bar for that night and had given him 3k baht to be with his friends. Since this was a regular customer he didn't want to be rude and say no. He went with the customer. The farang found out about it and said to him, "Here is 1k baht for you and I wish you a good life." The boy was heartbroken and the tears flowed.

 

When I spoke to the boy, he was still sad and he said that this was the opportunity he had been waiting for. It was his chance for a good life with someone he had a good time with. When I asked him why he went customer after having such a sweet deal presented to him, he said, he did not want to be rude. He also confessed that he went to an area of town that he didn't think the new "boyfriend" would see him. In truth, the new "boyfriend" had someone see him and then confronted the boy the next day. He admitted his mistake and said he was sorry. To the farang, he was no longer interested in a relationship with someone he could not trust.

 

To me, I have tried to instill the value of honest in all of my "boyfriends." It is a hard concept for many of them. The nature of the business is often to tell what you think others want to hear. When you run across an exception to that rule, you don't know what to do and you don't know how to handle the situation.

 

I have one Thai boyfriend that has been living with me for one year now. He is not the perfect boy in any sense. He is sexy. He is funny. He is sweet and he has one of the biggest cocks in Pattaya. But, he is not gay and I much prefer someone with me that is gay. He has made it with me so long for one reason. When he tells me something, I believe it. He has proven this to me over and over. When he has something that I don't want to hear, he still tells the truth. To me, this is far more valuable than other qualities. I once asked him why he never lied to me. He said it was simple. When he first moved in with me I told him as long as he told me the truth that I would be OK. He said he believed me. I told him that he was right. I have been through my fair share of other relationships since and yet this one is still with me. Why? It is not the fact that when he shoots a load, it goes over his head and hits the wall behind the bed. It is not the fact he used to win big cock contests. It is not the fact the he is fun to be with. It is the fact that no matter what he does or says, what he tells me is the truth.

 

I sat in a bar last year with an English man who wanted to meet a dancer. He looked to the boy and said, "my friend tells me you have a beautiful ladyboy." I had not told him any such thing. The boy nodded his head and said yes. The man then gave him 100 baht and said, "Go away. I don't want boyfriend with ladyboy." The boy was crushed. His honesty, even though by trickery, caused him to loose a potential client. I called him over and apologized and made it clear that this guy was not my friend and I had only met the guy that day and I did not tell him anything about the ladyboy. I tipped the boy well and looked at the man and said, "you are a asshole. I hope you get the "boyfriend" you deserve" and I walked out of the bar and never spoke to him again. I see him occasionally and he has a "boyfriend." The boyfriend has one of the most beautiful ladyboys in Pattaya. But, he said the right words to the man and the believed him. The game continues.

 

It is often hard to believe what someone tells you. I have learned to believe little of anything I am told by Thai boys and by Farangs. Most of what comes out of their mouth is fabrication or fantasy talk. But, on that rare occasion when an opportunity of a lifetime presents itself, all the past games and lies will factor into what decision each party makes.

[TotallyOz]

I was watching TV the other day and a mafia movie was on. The guy was in love but wanted to tell his new lover about his past life. She stopped him and said, "what happened in the past is the past. It is what happened since the day you met me that is important."

 

If we all come to the table with this mentality I think we are a lot better off. People will become the person you treat them. If respect and love is shown, often they will respond accordingly. When I was into the NYC escort scene I had many customers tell boys that before they met them all they were was a whore. Once that is said, those words cannnot be taken back. If you treat someone like a hooker, that is what you will get. If you treat them like a friend you are likely to get that in return.

 

My Thai friend was treated very well. But, it was new to him. The treatment was new. The possibility of a new life was dazzling. He made a bad choice. Hopefully, he will learn from that and not make others.

[Guest jomtien]

 

What your thai friend did, in going with an old customer, was indeed a mistake.

 

What your farang friend did, I feel, was far worse.

 

Offering a boy a good life and then snatching it back seems petulant to me. This is too much like saying "I own you and you will do what I say". Too many farang get pleasure from throwing money around and treating the boys like pieces of meat to satisfy their own ego trips. It's a shame.

 

This is, of course, my own opinion and not a particularly popular one at that

[TotallyOz]

What your thai friend did, in going with an old customer, was indeed a mistake.

 

What your farang friend did, I feel, was far worse.

 

Offering a boy a good life and then snatching it back seems petulant to me. This is too much like saying "I own you and you will do what I say". Too many farang get pleasure from throwing money around and treating the boys like pieces of meat to satisfy their own ego trips. It's a shame.

 

This is, of course, my own opinion and not a particularly popular one at that

 

I tend to agree with most of your statement. But, in this case, they came to an agreement. The agreement was breached by the Thai Boy. The agreement was then invalidated by the breach. I didn't see it as treating the boy like a piece of meat. I saw it more as a smart move on the farangs part. He knew there would be trouble ahead. Why spend more money in order to come to the same conclusion?

 

That being said, the Thai boy was a great catch. It appears they both missed out on a good thing. But, what could have happened could have been easily avoided if the Thai boy had not wanted to try to get another 1k baht short time. But, that is just my opinion and I am sure it is not the popular one.

[Guest jomtien]

 

Maybe it had more to do with going with an old customer he liked one more time and less to do with getting another 1KB. In any case it was an unrealistic deal. If a farang can't bend a little any relationship is doomed. It's too bad....in both directions.

 

 

[JayBee]

The situation - "offering a boy a good life and then snatching it back" - is indeed an extreme one and the penalty harsh, but I sympathize with the farang. The answer to "is someone reliable and trustworthy" is really yes-or-no. "Mostly," "generally," "usually" and the like are all just the same as "no." For the farang, the first indication that the boy viewed his new arrangement as flexible was enough.

 

Plus, the boy understood perfectly well the risk he was taking when he decided not only to do it, but do it on the sly by going to what he thought would be a "safe" area of town. I'm not sure I buy the "didn't want to be rude" bit either.

 

[Guest Hedda]

Good relationships are based on trust and devotion, something that takes time to build, not abiding by the terms of some agreement or "contract" made during the rush of some old farang's infatuation with a sexy body or a young thai's thinking he has found the pot of gold.

 

The oral arrangements such as discussed above are not worth the paper they aren't written on.

 

Farangs who insist on extracting promises of sexual monogamy or exclusivity are either delusional or realistic enough to be setting the stage for their eventual exit from the relationship without too much guilt.

 

Most young Thais who agree to these arrangement do so without the slightest intention of honoring them. They invariably think that what the farang doesn't know won't hurt.

 

Straight people have pre-nuptial agreements to protect both parties after the honeymoon is over. Gay men don't have that luxury, especially the old ones who think they can keep some young beauty happy and faithful once he is out of sight. And most Thais flaunt the terms of the agreement because they think that no farang could possibly be stupid enough to take such promises seriously.

 

If it's true that all is fair in love and war, that goes doubly in Thailand ! My bet is that both parties to this reltationship that got nipped in the bud got what they expected and deserved. They can both be thankful it happened up front, not after wasting years and money of a doomed experiment.

[JayBee]

Most young Thais who agree to these arrangement do so without the slightest intention of honoring them. They invariably think that what the farang doesn't know won't hurt.

This is true of more "conventional" arrangements too. Several Thais with "regular" jobs and boyfriends (that is, not ones who support them financally) have told me that they trust their BFs not to fool around on them - telling me this, that is, while naked and in bed, or soon afterwards.

 

Of course, this is hardly a Thai phenomenon.