A Question about Sex

[TotallyOz]

If you are having sex with a 25 year old guy from Bangkok who has multiple personalities and one of those personalities is that of a 14 year old boy and he switches to that personality during sex, have you committed statutory rape?

[kokopelli]

Maybe rape but not statutory. If a 25 yo with multiple personalities commits a crime he will be charged as an adult not a child. On the other hand having sex with someone who has the mind of a 14 yo such as mental retardation or autism, etc, then that could be rape if you took advantage of their mental condition.

 

Having said that,I don't believe in multiple personality disorder and everything I wrote above is likely pure nonsense.

[TotallyOz]

Having said that,I don't believe in multiple personality disorder and everything I wrote above is likely pure nonsense.

 

I have a friend in LA who is in med school and going to specialize in psychiatry. Her father made a living doing the same and his specialty is multiple personality disorder. She asked me this question as she wanted input from others. Thanks for yours. I think you and I agree here but according to her it is as real as depression.

[Guest thaiworthy]

If you are having sex with a 25 year old guy from Bangkok who has multiple personalities and one of those personalities is that of a 14 year old boy and he switches to that personality during sex, have you committed statutory rape?

This scenario seems a bit ludicrous, but I'll chime in anyway. in the first place, how would one characterize the behavior of a 14-yr old boy during sex? And why is the student suggesting a boy and not a girl? Is adding the homosexual element making it more perverse or sinister? Could anyone recognize this behavior so readily, especially in the throes of passion? Even if one could perceive such traits, could it not be mistaken for mere role-playing?

 

The question sounds purely academic to me. I don't see how anyone could be held accountable in a court of law for rape when the host personality is adult. I find this hypothetical suggestion disturbing, and can only suggest this: if, and only if-- one becomes aware of the other's disorder over time, taking advantage of it over the course of the relationship and with full knowledge of the disorder, only then would it seem improper.

 

My opinion is just a logical one, I have no special knowledge regarding the law or psychiatry. I am biased against the latter and more respectful of the former. I would also hope this med school student will consider another theory to stimulate her studies. This case would play out more like the gimmick plot in a tv crime series than that of a serious student of psychology.

 

As for the validity of MPD, I suspect that deep within the many complexities of the human mind, there lies many such disorders as this one.

 

Michael, I do wish your friend good luck with her career.

[Rogie]

If your hypothetical 25 year old acts perfectly normally apart from a sex-induced reversion to childhood I would say he was playacting. Whether play acting or not, an adult sexual partner who knows the young man has this other personality and persists in having sex is clearly in need of help himself. I have no idea whether he could ever be convicted of rape, but perhaps if the 14 year old personality emerges at random during the 25 year old's daytime activities so that everybody, his family and friends know about it, then somebody having sex with him must arouse suspicion as to his motives and so he'd be in potential trouble if caught. Exactly what kind of trouble I don't know, maybe his age would make a difference, so if the 25 year old's partner was a male of similar age I doubt anyone would object, but if he was 60 years old and the setting was so as to imply some kind of financial inducement, he'd be labelled a pervert by many. Obvious question: How would the medical professionals go about treating this young man. Surely he needs help and that should be the overriding priority rather than a hypothetical case of another person being up for rape.

[KhorTose]

On the other hand having sex with someone who has the mind of a 14 yo such as mental retardation or autism, etc, then that could be rape if you took advantage of their mental condition.

 

Yes, this answer is right on. If this person was being treated for this mental condition and you were one of this person's caregivers, or had knowledge of this person's mental illness and took advantage of that knowledge, then I think you would be culpable. Without that knowledge the worse you would be would be this person's victim. I don't know about you guys, but I have accidentally met nut cases who were out cruising, and believe me, it was no fun. However, like others I am confused by what exactly is acting like a 14 year old having sex. I guess I don;t get out enough to understand the concept. On the other hand, I am sure some of the people who live in Pattaya probably know what that means.

[Bob]

Absent a special relationship status (such as a therapist, teacher, jailkeeper, or the like), there are no laws at least in the west which prohibit consensual sexual conduct with the mentally ill. Absent more (such as the actor actually knowing about or even taking advantage of the mental illness), I don't even see any ethical (non-criminal) issues involved in the given scenario.

[Guest thaiworthy]

. . . there are no laws at least in the west which prohibit consensual sexual conduct with the mentally ill.

Bob is right. The med student's thinking is predicated on fallacious grounds to begin with. I fell right into the trap. But my thinking was more along the lines of a moral issue than a legal one. There are some boys and girls who are more mature for their age, but that is irrelevant as far as the law is concerned. Conversely, there are young men and girls over the age of 18 who are less mature than some under that age. So it stands to reason that anyone "less mature," but legal, may also be considered "handicapped" for want of a better word, which falls in line with Bob's thinking. No law is broken.

 

This thread reminds me of the riddle about a plane crash: 50% debris fallen in US, 50% debris fallen in Canada. Where do you bury the survivors?!

 

Good work, Bob!

[Guest fountainhall]

Maybe we could switch this on its head a little to expand the discussion.

 

You are an older man

[Bob]

So, are older men acting out a fantasy, changing personality, or merely bringing out a part of their personality that has till then been subsumed within the whole?

 

Somewhat difficult to answer as we're dealing with terms (such as personality) that are a bit amorphous. I personally don't see any change of personality (and doubt if anyone is capable of doing that at least in the short term). I just see a guy having fun (doing something that brings pleasure/happiness to himself). Simple as that, no need to analyze or over-analyze in my view.

 

As to the notion of "acting out a fantasy", I suppose it could be phrased that way if what you mean by it is that somebody's doing something here that generally wasn't available in their home country; if, however, you mean something different by that term (such as involving some distortion of reality), then I don't believe there's any "fantasy" involved at all.

[Rogie]

You surely are not playing a role; but are you changing personalities? Are you essentially entering the fantasy world you have dreamed about which you hope will change your personality and thus enable you to change your own reality?

 

I ask because I have seen some people who have moved to Asia change significantly and happily. Yet others seem to find quite major difficulty adjusting to that new reality of on-going sexual gratification and the more youthful role they desire but have trouble coming to terms with.

(My bold type and italics)

 

I personally don't see any change of personality (and doubt if anyone is capable of doing that at least in the short term). I just see a guy having fun (doing something that brings pleasure/happiness to himself). Simple as that, no need to analyze or over-analyze in my view.

 

Could the reason for unhappiness with the new status quo be down to unrealised and quite possibly, as per Bob's comments, unrealisable goals.

 

Can you really successfully change your personality? Like Bob I do not think that's a very likely outcome, not after 50 or 60 years of living in the same skin with your brain hard-wired and thoroughly entrenched in 'who you are'. Maybe that's where the fantasy comes in, and together with a few superficial changes such as altered sleeping and drinking patterns, lots more sex or at least lots more fraternising with young attractive men, the guy thinks he's grabbed a whole new personality for himself but unless he can keep the charade up ad infinitum he'll soon either realise it for what it is ("a guy having fun" to quote Bob) if he's lucky or if still in fantasy mode the cold reality will hit one morning or on the plane back home.

[kokopelli]

So, are older men acting out a fantasy, changing personality, or merely bringing out a part of their personality that has till then been subsumed within the whole?

 

If some of my friends were asked that question they would say that I am acting like a 14 yo. So the sword seems to cut both ways.

[Guest thaiworthy]

I wouldn't call it a fantasy or a changing personality. I would think of it as a cultural diversion that allows gay men of any age to be happy with their lifestyle.

[Guest fountainhall]

if he's lucky or if still in fantasy mode the cold reality will hit one morning or on the plane back home.

I was thinking more about those who uproot themselves to come and live here, as I have done - even though with almost 33 years of adjustment in Asia, I have felt more Asian than British for quite some time.

 

If some of my friends were asked that question they would say that I am acting like a 14 yo.

I am sure some of my friends do think that I act and think a lot younger than my actual age! Some even say I look younger (nice friends!).

 

Like Bob I do not think that's a very likely outcome, not after 50 or 60 years of living in the same skin with your brain hard-wired and thoroughly entrenched in 'who you are'.

I am firm believer in the fact that we create our own reality. So we have it within us to change that reality. But I accept that unplugging all the baggage we were brought up to believe and which has shaped our reality is far from easy. It certainly gets more difficult the older we become.

 

I suspect that those who uproot themselves nearer retirement are in fact mixing fantasy with the emergence of part of their personalities which they have not been able to express in their earlier lives. But the very fact that they are unable to unplug some of those wires makes the transition quite difficult for some. It's not as simple as difficulty in adjusting to cultural and other surface differences. The initial sense of euphoria - the fantasy - does not last because the earlier reality/baggage maintains its hold.