Can You Read English

[kokopelli]

Here is something I copied from the New York Times attributed to Steven Pinker.

 

"yxx cxn xnxndxrstxnd whxt x xm wrxtxng xvxn xf x rxplxcx xll thx vxwxls wxth xn "x" (t gts lttl hrdr f y dn't vn kn whr th vwls r).

 

I wonder if a non-native English speaker, such as Christian, would have difficulty in reading the above?

 

For me I still cannot figure out the "vn" or "kn" in the above or maybe it is a typo or msspllng in the original article.

[Guest thaiworthy]

I wonder if a non-native English speaker, such as Christian, would have difficulty in reading the above?

 

For me I still cannot figure out the "vn" or "kn" in the above or maybe it is a typo or msspllng in the original article.

In the first sentence "vn" is "even" because "x" replaces the vowel "e." The sentence in parentheses has no such x, since the vowels are merely removed, so "kn" means "know" from the context, although "w" is not a vowel, so that could be a typo. Any proofreader could easily make a mistake trying to check those sentences!

 

Xf thx sxntxnce wxrx in Gxrmxn, Chxstxxxn cxxld prxbxbly rxxd xt mxch bxttxr!

[Rogie]

The sentence in parentheses has no such x, since the vowels are merely removed, so "kn" means "know" from the context, although "w" is not a vowel, so that could be a typo.

They probably get round that by saying any vowel sound qualifies. The 'w' is effectively silent although a non-English speaker seeing that word for the first time would see the 'w' and know! (that it is a long 'o' and not a short one).

[ChristianPFC]

I can read at about 80% speed (compared to normal text).

 

There are similar experiments, where the first and the last letter of a word are kept in their position and the letters between them are scrambled.

 

This picture loosely fits the subject:

 

[kokopelli]

I can read the above quite well, if I take off my glasses!

[Guest fountainhall]

That one's quite easy if you sit back a bit from the computer screen.

[Rogie]

I just tried peering at it close up and it's impossible to make out the words even when you know what's written!

 

I also find it clearer when reading from 2 or 3 feet away from the screen to look away slightly so you are seeing it out of the corner of your eye, rather like we are told is best for viewing the stars . . .

[ChristianPFC]

In this context, in Thai language there is no punctation and no spaces between words.

 

OnceIgotusedtoit itdidntposeanyproblemtome

 

AndletsnotforgetpostsbyLMTUpostinghereasHeyGay

whichareoftendifficulttodecipherwithpongspostsadistantsecond

 

Crosswords are quite tricky for non-native speakers.

[kokopelli]

It must be that LMTU has been too long in Thailand and has acclimatized to the Thai style of writing.

 

Surprisingly I was able to read what Christian wrote but, for the learner, it must be tricky to read Thai with only a limited vocabulary.

[ChristianPFC]

I have a book about homophones in the English language. It contains a poem where many words are replaced by homophones.

 

I don't have the book at hand, but a quick serch on the internet gave this:

 

Homonym Poem (Oronym)

 

An Ode to the Spelling Chequer

 

Prays the Lord for the spelling chequer

That came with our pea sea!

Mecca mistake and it puts you rite

Its so easy to ewes, you sea.

 

I never used to no, was it e before eye?

(Four sometimes its eye before e.)

But now I've discovered the quay to success

It's as simple as won, too, free!

 

Sew watt if you lose a letter or two, (edit: two, too, to)

The whirled won't come two an end!

Can't you sea? It's as plane as the knows on yore face

S. Chequer's my very best friend

 

I've always had trubble with letters that double

"Is it one or to S's?" I'd wine

But now, as I've tolled you this chequer is grate

And its hi thyme you got won, like mine.

 

Janet E. Byford

 

(the poem in the book was different from this)

 

Finding a word replaced by its homophone is always a special delight for me. I found examples in real life for these:

 

waste/waist, male/mail, peace/piece, semen/seaman, nose/knows and others

 

to give so. a piece of one's mind

to have one's peace of mind

 

Let me use this occasion to thank LMTU, who has been an especially rich source in this regard.

[Guest fountainhall]

Finding a word replaced by its homophone is always a special delight for me.

Love it! I had a friend who delighted in replacing "numbers" in words by the next highest number. So "constipated" would become "constipinineted." Not nearly so amusing, though, as there are far fewer possibilities.

 

I think English must be one of the most confusing languages to learn, not only for homonyms but especially for its frequent use of idioms.

 

Years ago I was having dinner with three friends in Tokyo, all of whom spoke very good English. Over dessert, I suggested that we go to a disco later and that I felt like letting my hair down. My friend Toshi sitting on my left was clearly a little confused at this, but then quipped, "Yes, I think it's time I got my hair cut as well."

 

Another teasing word 'game' in English is: how many times can you use the same word consecutively in a sentence? I can remember one with five, but I believe the maximum is six.

[kokopelli]

Christian; Eye am knot sew shore ewe are germane butt ewe rite like Ann American? Eye like two reed yore posts. Does this make cents two ewe?

[Rogie]

I've always had trubble with letters that double

Being in Thailand I don't have a dictionary to hand - is trubble a real word

 

Another teasing word 'game' in English is: how many times can you use the same word consecutively in a sentence? I can remember one with five, but I believe the maximum is six.

Do you mean the same word sound - if so how about

 

four for four, four four for four, fore

 

not intelligible in the slightest degree unless you know the question,

 

what is the cricket score and what time is our table reservation

interpretation: the score is 4 runs for 4 wickets and the 4 of us are scheduled for 4 minutes past 4 in the front section of the dining room

[Guest fountainhall]

Do you mean the same word sound

No, it must be exactly the same word - not just the same sound.

 

Never heard of trubble being a word!

[Guest fountainhall]

An example is this.

 

A bar owner is getting a new sign for his pub, the Cock and Bull. When the sign painter sketches it out, the landlord looks at it and says:

 

"Can we have more space between "Cock" and "And" and "And" and "Bull" please.

 

Any advance on five?

[ChristianPFC]

Christian; Eye am knot sew shore ewe are germane butt ewe rite like Ann American? Eye like two reed yore posts. Does this make cents two ewe?

Christian; I am not so sure you are German but you write like an American? I like to read your posts. Does this make sense to you?

 

I can't add to the the five same words in a sentence, but I like sentences like

 

The soldier deserted his dessert in the desert.

(The solider left his pudding in the Sahara.)

[kokopelli]

 

The soldier deserted his dessert in the desert.

(The solider left his pudding in the Sahara.)

 

Christian, are you implying that the soldier was "pulling his pudding" while on duty?

[Rogie]

A bar owner is getting a new sign for his pub, the Cock and Bull. When the sign painter sketches it out, the landlord looks at it and says:

 

"Can we have more space between "Cock" and "And" and "And" and "Bull" please.

 

Any advance on five?

Not really but if I were to use your fine effort as a launching pad. . .

 

Instead of the Cock and Bull the pub is called the Cock and Hand (not very likely I would agree but the word 'hand' is quite common as part of a pub's name).

 

However, the old sign had lost the letter 'h' from hand, consequently we have the following dialogue: When discussing the new sign, the landlord affectionately refers to it without the 'h', an alternative explanation has no missing 'h' but the landlord has a habit of droppin' his aitches!

 

"Can we have more space between "Cock" and "And" and "And" and "and" please.And if I were to stretch credulity to breaking point, the signwriter's name is Andrew, shortened to 'And' of course!

[Guest thaiworthy]

There is a restaurant chain in south Texas known as "Cracker Barrel" which I affectionately refer to as "Crack Or Barrel." Admittedly though not quite as humorous as the other above examples.

[Guest fountainhall]

the landlord affectionately refers to it without the 'h'

Nice thought and those speaking the Londoners' Cockney dialect regularly drop their 'aitches. But I regret it does not count since all the words must be the same - not just look the same!

[Rogie]

There is a restaurant chain in south Texas known as "Cracker Barrel" which I affectionately refer to as "Crack Or Barrel." Admittedly though not quite as humorous as the other above examples.

And why not throw a nice bit of cheese in to complicate matters - cheesy crack or cheesebarrel

[ChristianPFC]

Christian, are you implying that the soldier was "pulling his pudding" while on duty?

Sorry, I don't get it. What is "pulling his pudding"?

[Guest thaiworthy]

Sorry, I don't get it. What is "pulling his pudding"?

It's like spanking the money. If you don't know that one either, look it up on urbandictionary.com. Here's the pudding one, though pretty elementary, I'd say:

 

Definition

 

Obviously, Koko spends a lot of time thinking about his pudding.

 

Freshly cooled pudding will appeal to you Christian, since you like uncut, the pudding will develop a skin on top!

[kokopelli]

It's like spanking the money. pudding will develop a skin on top!

 

Ahemm, it is "spanking the monkey" not the money.

 

Pulling your pudding is similar to the Thai expression "flying the kite". I am sure in German there are many similar type expressions. Enlighten us Christian.

[Bob]

Pulling your pudding is similar to the Thai expression "flying the kite".

 

Ah, the old "chak waaw" (ชักว่าว) expression (literal translation meaning to fly a kite although the word "chak" means to pull or tug and, of course, the "waaw" means a "kite").

 

Not sure if I mentioned this before but asked a Thai friend what would be the Thai words or idiom for female masturbation. He said: "Dtok bhlaa." Pretty funny as those are the Thai words that literally mean "to go fishing."