Low Cost Airline Boss Wants Nobel Peace Prize!

[Guest fountainhall]

There’s a lengthy and highly entertaining interview in this morning's Guardian newspaper with David O’Leary, the controversial boss of Europe’s most successful low-cost airline, Ryannair. Yes, he’s the one who suggested generating even more profits by charging for going to the toilet, a plan that has not been shelved, merely put on the back burner, the article tells us.

 

The writer puts the suggestion to O’Leary that “he is one of the world’s most evil people, enticing millions . . . to jet around Europe, befouling its air with carbon emissions and defacing its landscape with excrescent airports.” This follows from a quote from French philosopher Blaise Pascal who once wrote: "All human evil comes from a single cause, man's inability to sit still in a room."

 

"For fuck's sake," says O'Leary. "For a start, the French have never produced a great philosopher. Great wine maybe, but no great philosophers. Ryanair is responsible for the integration of Europe by bringing lots of different cultures to the beaches of Spain, Greece and Italy, where they couple and copulate in the interests of pan-European peace . . . We're bringing cultures together!" counters O'Leary. "There hasn't been a war in Europe for 50 years because they're all too busy flying on Ryanair. I should get the Nobel peace prize – screw Bono . . ."

 

"Nothing destroys the environment like two world wars. The idea that we're destroying the environment is nonsense. My cattle probably cause more carbon emissions than my fleet of aeroplanes." One of Ireland's richest men, O'Leary breeds Aberdeen Angus cattle and horses. He winks. "That'll get Guardian readers going."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2011/nov/18/ryanair-michael-oleary

 

As for those toilets,

 

"I still want to do that, but it rests on a misperception to suggest we'd make money from charging for using toilets. We'd give that money to an incontinence charity."

Instead, Ryanair would make its money, he claims, by stripping two out of three loos out of every plane, and installing six extra seats. He says that would lower all the fares on every flight by about 5%, making Ryanair more attractive – if only in price terms."

I am waiting for the day when all tickets on Ryannair are free, but passengers have to pay for even more extras than they do now - including the right to wear clothes.

[Guest]

David O'Leary, the controversial boss of Europe's most successful low-cost airline, Ryannair. Yes, he's the one who suggested generating even more profits by charging for going to the toilet

 

Obviously written by a football fan.

 

David O'Leary = Former Arsenal defender & unsuccessful former manager of Leeds & Aston Villa.

Michael O'Leary = Boss of Ryanair.

 

Michael seems to operate on the basis that all publicity is good & seems to be building a very successful business. I believe Ryan Air carry more international passengers than any other airline on the planet.

[Rogie]

 

I believe Ryan Air carry more international passengers than any other airline on the planet.

 

Pretty amazing so many have fallen for the blarney. I wonder, has Fountainhall ever succumbed?

[Guest fountainhall]

I wonder, has Fountainhall ever succumbed?

Never! And never again will I take Air Asia! In Europe I have taken Easyjet, though, and enjoyed it.

[Guest]

Never! And never again will I take Air Asia! In Europe I have taken Easyjet, though, and enjoyed it.

I quite like Ryan Air. Their punctuality is very good. Also, as soon as the plane comes to a halt, the staff are deploying the onboard staircase, so the passengers can make a swift exit. Ideal for impatient passengers like me.

OK, you need to check the location of the destination airport, but for many of their routes, the location is very convenient.

I've never seen David O'Leary on one of the planes though...

[ChristianPFC]

Instead, Ryanair would make its money, he claims, by stripping two out of three loos out of every plane, and installing six extra seats. He says that would lower all the fares on every flight by about 5%, making Ryanair more attractive – if only in price terms."

 

I quite like that idea. The toilets are not used most time of the flight (on short flights I don't need a toilet on a plane, from Europe to Thailand I usually use it once or twice, but there I sometimes have to wait).

 

I would not mind paying for the toilet, if the tickets are cheaper this way, and they will because more people fit in a plane. Of course, they could just keep the money and not lower the ticket prices.

 

I flew with Ryanair several times and I can't complain.

[Guest fountainhall]

Personally I will almost always go just before getting on a flight, and so rarely use toilets on short flights. However, problems are almost bound to occur if there is a boarding delay. More people will then need to go on the plane. Plus what happens if you find yourself on a plane with a much higher percentage of women - with, say, a women's amateur volleyball team and their supporters? It's fact that ladies need 3 or 4 times the loo time of men! I suspect some of us guys would ' do a Gerard Depardieu' and use a bottle or can. Or, as GB said when this idea of O'Leary's first came up, just take a dump on the seat!

[kokopelli]

 

 

I would not mind paying for the toilet, if the tickets are cheaper this way, and they will because more people fit in a plane. O

[Guest fountainhall]

Oh, I think that's a bit of a waste of the flight attendant's time. I see toilet paper being sold in little packets at the gate - rather like condoms or the packets which cost Bt. 2 in some Bangkok shopping malls. If someone hasn't had the foresight to buy, there could always be an on-board auction. I just hope anyone who suddenly gets the 'runs' has lots of cash on board

[Guest]

Most of the wasted space has to be in the cargo bay.

 

Now if the CAA didn't have inconvenient rules about evacuation times, this space could be fitted with bunk beds for more passengers,

[Rogie]

Most of the wasted space has to be in the cargo bay.

As they used to say in Monty Python, this is becoming silly . . . but to paraphrase Dick Emery was it, or was it Kenny Everett, but I like it. All this about taking a dump and evacuating is actually quite serious for some people. Some folks have poor bowel control perhaps owing to nervousness about travelling in a plane or sitting in a confined space with lots of others. It's bad enough to worry if the existing toilets are going to be free in the event of having to go at short notice, so I can imagine their reaction to stripping them out and putting in more passengers.

I'd guess the cargo (your luggage etc) goes in the 'hold' and dogs and other pets go somewhere that is pressurised if that's the right term, so I suppose bunk beds akin to youth hostels is fine provided you don't have any pet allergies.

[Guest fountainhall]

If you take this business of stripping the fare down to the lowest possible and then charging for everything else, surely the fairest means of charging is by weight - of the passenger! After all, children under 12 usually pay less, yet occupy the same seat. I certainly weigh more than most Thai guys, and so will use up more fuel. Why should they pay the same fare as me? And why should I pay the same fare as an overweight/obese farang?

[Guest thaiworthy]

Why should they pay the same fare as me? And why should I pay the same fare as an overweight/obese farang?

Well, I've lost 110 lbs in the last two years, so I demand a rebate!

 

I also had the lobster for the main course and got seafood poisoning. I went to the toilet at least 50 times during the flight (thus why I named this shitty). The flight attendants were nice and sweet but I was not a happy camper.

Let's see, if a 3-minute toilet seat costs $5 and Michael had to go 50 times, that's $250. Of course, he was not flying tourist, so I doubt the charges would apply. However, if you were to ask a tourist-class passenger if he would pay this, in his condition I doubt he would ever balk. I think the tissue is the issue, and not the money, but availability. I hate seeing that red "occupancy" sign and it takes the pilot at least half-an-hour to turn off the seat belt sign after take-off. Those are reasons for real distress, even in first-class.

 

I can see it now. How would a typical tourist class passenger react? What would the great Cornholio do in a situation like this? I am Cornholio, I need TP for my bunghole! What, no occupancy? Are you threatening me?!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow4SHYu2ZNE