Rambo Driving School

[Bob]

My Chiangmai friend (28 in a few weeks) obtained his driver's license 3 months ago and I have had the privilege (perhaps better said as "sheer terror") of driving all over the Chiangmai area with him the last

10 days. His boss (bf works part-time at a guesthouse in CM) allows bf to use one of his cars. The boss, of course, is very generous and very, very, stupid....

 

[since it is difficult to tell my friend "your driving sucks", I am bitching to the world with this post]

 

I have no clue what they teach them to obtain a driver's license but it's obviously very little.Then there's no temporary license while they have to drive with an adult nor any probationary period where they have certain limitations (like not driving at night).

 

I would guess that I have experienced mild fright about every kilometer with a dose of sheer terror thrown in every 50 kilometers or so. So far:

1) First Trip of Length. Although I was heading for a thai massage at the Olde Thai Medicine Hospital, we stopped at the local restaurant of a thai friend and suddenly we were on our way to Lampang. Great fun but I think the purpose of the trip was for my bf's thai friend to obtain some vegetables out of the garden at his mother's, to have dinner in Lampang, and to scare the hell out of me. Shortly on our way out of Lampang, a motorcycle rider appeared to be coming out into the road from the left. My friend slowed but didn't move over to the right and was oblivious to the fact the motorcy turkey kept coming and slammed into the rear left passenger door (where, of course, I was sitting). All frazzled, my bf stops the friggin car in the middle of the highway (across both lanes) and jumps out to go yell at the motorcy guy (who at that stage was still laying on the street with his motorcy). The motorcy guy got up - wasn't hurt, just a bit drunk - and so my first task was to get the bf to move his car out of the highway so the traffic could get by.

The boss' car was only scrapped up and motorcy guy was extremely lucky.

Frankly, this accident wasn't technically the bf's fault but, on the other hand, an experienced driver would have avoided it (bf has absolutely no clue about defensive driving).

 

2) Our second major trip was our second trip to bf's home in a small village north of Chiangrai. I'm sure that everyone who has driven between Chiangmai and Chiangrai fully remembers the 18 billion curves, up and downs, etc., involving the hills between those two cities. It's a somewhat miserable trip under the best of circumstances but I can assure you that it is sheer hell when an inexperienced driver doesn't properly anticipate the curves ahead, doesn't slow down enough for the sharp ones, doesn't understand how to turn into a curve, and also doesn't understand how to accelerate out of a curve. It's really not that hard.....all it takes is EXPERIENCE! I am absolutely amazed that the car did

not skid off of the roadway a hundred or so times! And, occasionally he would pass a slower vehicle and, on some occasions, I would hear an "oh!" when, after pulling out to pass, he then realized that

another car behind him was already trying that maneuver and was simply (silly him!) in his way. We

only drove 3-4 other cars off the road although I am happy to advise that no gunfire was heard (just a few horns here and there). My bf seemed rather nonplussed about all of this although he was wondering why my left arm was turnin blue griping the overhead assist handle.

 

The trips within and around Chiangmai proper have been equally tense but we've had no collisions as yet. And, as you might expect, even if we're going 1 block, he simply has to drive.

 

I accidentally determined the source of bf's luck. While I began to wipe off some smudges on the interior roof liner of the car, I was stopped by the bf and advised that these were incense marks made by the temple abbot to bring good luck to my bf while driving. I've gotta tell you that the head monk is really, really, good and must have a direct line to Buddha - as that is the only explanation I can conjure up as to why bf isn't already taking a dirt nap due to his driving.

 

I've having a ball up here and I have learned to deal with the driving the only way I know how. I now securely tighten the seat belt, I "wai" the monk's smudge marks, and then I just close my friggin eyes....

[Guest wowpow]

The carnage on Thailands roads is a scandal. People just don't learn how to drive with care and common sense they just reply on the Buddha and the good luck that the monks gave the car.

 

Thailand has about 14,500 fatalities a year. The UK is a similar size and population with a lot more cars and fatalities are about 3,300 and falling.

 

A good start would be to train drivers the basic 1) allow adequate space between vehicles and 2) before any action mirror, signal then manouver. Then start huge fines for those who drive after drinking.

 

I read that over 50% of fatalities in Thailand are men between the ages of 18 and 25 on motorbikes in rural locations.

 

The Government do take action at peak action times such as Songkran and New Year but increasing the Police surveyance only works temporarily. The only answer is education and controls.

 

[Guest pete1969]

Bob, I got a good laugh out of your story. Thankfully, my BF drives decently if a little distracted at times. I did have near heart failure 100 times or more in BKK as my BF had not driven there in a couple of years, and his BKK driving skills were rusty.

 

I can see myself driving in the CM/CR area up North, but I don't think I would ever be brave enough to drive in BKK. I wonder how many board members actually drive a car in LOS.

 

Pete

[Guest gonefishing]

What "Police surveyance" (sic)?? You only need to go past any school at around 3pm to see the Police going about their job, stopping the traffic to let the better-off schoolchildren out, three (or more) on a bike, all / most without helmets, and all clearly underage and without any licence or insurance. The children see the Police not just turning a blind eye but actually condoning their clearly breaking the law; since that is the example they see as children, as well as the example of their parents, it is only human nature that they do the same when they are adults.

 

On a slightly different tack, my own experience here has been that the standard of most road users outside Pattaya city limits is, generally, markedly better - why, who knows?

 

[Gaybutton]

I wonder how many board members actually drive a car in LOS.

 

I do. I've actually become accustomed to the terrible driving habits of so many Thai people. In all honesty, it is rare for me to drive anywhere without at least one or two close calls. But believe it or not, for me the most scary moments are encounters with "farang" motorcycle drivers. With the Thais, at least they are predictable as to the movements they'll make. With the "farang," you never have a clue.

 

I'm no more afraid driving in Thailand than I was driving in Florida. I do not drive in Bangkok, if I can avoid it, but not out of fear. I avoid driving in Bangkok because of the heavy traffic delays. Also, once you finally get where you're going it's very difficult to find a place to park.

 

If you are going to drive in Bangkok, I suggest filling the fuel tank before you get to Bangkok. Gas stations are few and far between in Bangkok. If you don't already know where the Bangkok gas stations are, good luck if you start running low on fuel.

 

If I am going to be in Bangkok overnight, I usually stay at the Pinnacle. It's easy to get to the Pinnacle from Pattaya and, of course, the hotel has parking for the guests. One time I was at the Pinnacle and was going to go to the Babylon sauna. I drove over. No place to park. I tried to park on the street, but was shooed away by security guards. The closest parking I could find was right back at the Pinnacle. I walked over to Babylon that day.

 

In Pattaya, along with dealing with drivers who seem bent on suicide and taking a few other people with them, the usual problems I encounter are potholes. Potholes are everywhere and even the most dangerous ones are rarely marked. Just the other night, on a major soi near where I live, a Thai motorcycle driver was killed when he hit a dangerous pothole that wasn't marked in any way.

 

Another problem is the narrowness of the sois. That's another one on my "I don't get it" list. When the sois were built there actually was such a thing as cars, but so many of the sois are so narrow that it is nearly impossible for two cars to encounter each other, going in opposite directions, without having to make major maneuvers to avoid hitting each other. Those sois rarely have sidewalks, so you end up not only having to dodge motorcycles going the wrong way, but also pushcart vendors, motorcycles with sidecars, pedestrians, dogs, etc. Why did they build these sois so narrow? Quite often I have friends who stay at Howard's. Ever try driving down there? It isn't easy, especially at night when the bars are open. I never tell any of my friends that I won't come down to Howard's to pick them up, but it is almost always a pain getting there and even more of a pain trying to get out of there.

 

Parking can be a problem in Pattaya too. Here's another one for my "I don't get it" list: The shops that put barriers in the streets so that nobody can park in front of their shop. My first question is why? Why do they do that? How is it possibly hurting their business if a car parks on the street in front of their shop? Do they think that somehow a parked car is going to cause people not to enter their shop? If anything, I'll refuse to shop at a store that placed a barrier in front of a perfectly good parking spot that would have made it convenient to shop there when I end up having to park blocks and blocks away. Maybe they think a car parked in front of their shop will cause pedestrians to be unable to see their shop. Who knows?

 

My second question is how do they get away with that in the first place? They are placing barriers on a public street. That doesn't seem legal to me, but they do it anyway. I have yet to ever see a police officer make them remove the barriers. I've actually moved the barriers out of the way myself, although I'm told that is never a good idea. I'm liable to come back to find tires slashed, the paint on the car "keyed," or Lord-knows-what.

 

The next problem in Pattaya is the constant road construction. There's a third one for today's "I don't get it" list. They are constantly tearing up and re-paving roads that were perfectly good and yet doing absolutely nothing about the sois that are in desperate need of repair or, better still, re-paving.

 

Traffic signals are insane in Pattaya. The light at the intersection of Third Road and South Road (Pattaya Tai) is, I believe, the worst in Pattaya. That is especially true if you are trying to come down South Road from Sukhumvit Highway. The light does not remain green anywhere near long enough. It usually takes three to five light changes before I finally get through that intersection. Quite often I take winding side roads as an alternative to waiting for that particular traffic signal. It may be more difficult that way, but it's much better than spending half your life waiting for that traffic signal.

 

I suppose the next logical question would be, if I had it to do all over again, would I drive in Pattaya or the rest of Thailand? My answer is yes. You don't really need to have a car if you live here, but once you have one, you don't know how you ever lived without it. Despite all the problems associated with driving in Thailand, I'd much rather have a car than be without one.