The Condo is Alive - with the Sound of Sex

[Guest fountainhall]

Now this is a serious question!

 

What do you do when your neighbours are going at it with such passion and abandonment that all the moans and other more audible sounds of love-making can be easily heard not only in the outside corridor but in other apartments? Is a simple request to “turn down the volume” enough?

 

One of the most pleasant aspects of my apartment is the peace and quiet. I get no traffic noise, I hear the birds sing in the morning, I have a nice view – virtually the only aural disturbances are thunderstorms.

 

A few days ago, I bumped into my older neighbour who happens also to be gay. His apartment adjoins that of another neighbour – one living directly across from me. Had I heard, he asked lowering his voice in conspiratorial fashion, the noise coming from his neighbour late the previous night? A fairly light sleeper, noise of almost any description, especially the low frequency boom of pop music, is likely to wake me up. No, I replied. I had slept soundly. So I asked, “Was their music too loud?” “Oh, it wasn’t their music”, he whispered. “It was sex. They were having sex!”

 

I didn’t know how to react. Don’t most of us have sex – pretty regularly? And isn’t it usual for us to express our emotions aurally (perhaps also orally ) during sex? I told him I thought there was nothing much unusual in hearing a bit of regular humping through the wall. “But it was so loud,” he said, implying that it was akin to two elephants rutting just a few feet away from him. I suggested the next time he should get his camera and film the front door and apartment number with the audio background, and then post it on Gaytube. That might embarrass them a bit. “Oh no,” he said, he couldn’t do that. Whyever not, I was wondering, when he quickly added, “they’re straight!”

 

So that was it! It wasn’t the low grunting and humping of two males. It was the higher pitched moans and screams of the lady that disturbed him. Could it have been a ladyboy I wondered, but decided not even to pursue that line of enquiry? And then my taxi came and so our odd little conversation had to end.

 

This morning at around 10:30 I was reminded of it. Sitting at my desk checking emails, I suddenly heard those selfsame sounds from across the corridor. This was no gentle lovemaking. The moans and screams were indeed of near elephantine proportions. And, since I have seen inside that apartment, they were not only coming from their living room, but probably from the bar installed close to the door. Interesting position! I opened my door. No question. The sound would have been heard all along the corridor. And it went on – and on – and on – and on. Whoever they are, for they are relatively new to our community, they seem to know exactly what they are doing and how to take intense pleasure in it.

 

But, and this is the point of my post, how do you tell them to turn the volume down – or at least have the decency to do it in the bedroom with the door closed? “Will you please turn down that fucking noise?” might seem the appropriate request, but then perhaps they might not quite ‘get’ it. On the other hand, “those fucking noises – they’re way too loud” might be a tad too direct and be met with a fist in the face. An anonymous note under the door – might that be the route to take, perhaps? Do we take it up with the Building Manager ("this building has too many noisy fuckers living in it!"), or table it as an item for the next Owners’ Committee meeting? (Item 4b: Frequency of fucking disturbances!)?

 

Having talked on the phone just now to my older neighbour, we agree we are - well - fucked! We don't know what to do. Practical and tactful suggestions will be warmly welcomed.

[Guest thaiworthy]

I would buy a bottle of wine with a card attached and leave it in front of their door. The card would read "I hope this bottle of wine assists in the foreplay of your romance. That activity is often much more soothing to the ears than the constant bang, bang, bang we neighbors have endured of late. Enjoy this wine and your play, but please do so quietly. Thank you."

 

You shouldn't have to go through this much trouble. No doubt there are others who will think this ploy is silly, but I've always favored a carrot to the stick. You did say "tactful?"

 

Buy them cheap wine, they'll probably won't know the difference. And if they get drunk on it, mebbe they'll just pass out and leave you alone for at least one peaceful night.

[TotallyOz]

LOL I love this thread. I think you are right. I might be upset if the screams were straight but not if I knew 2 guys were getting off.

 

But, do guys really make that loud noise? I don't think so. Well, some do. I have attended more than a few gay sex orgies in my olden days and it was pretty fucking quiet. So quite in fact that I would have been able to host about 50 or so in my small 2 bedroom apartment in NYC without disturbing the neighbors. That does not happen with the straight sex parties.

 

Women love to scream. Or, they think their men love to hear it.

 

Remember "When Harry Met Sally" scene? When is the last time your BF did that?

[Guest jomtien]

I had an upstairs neighbor once who was famous for entertaining 4-6 boys at a time. While the noise was awful, the sight of the boys in towels on the balcony waving down at me was memorable. I think I miss that neighbor

[TotallyOz]

I had an upstairs neighbor once who was famous for entertaining 4-6 boys at a time. While the noise was awful, the sight of the boys in towels on the balcony waving down at me was memorable. I think I miss that neighbor

 

touche

[Guest fountainhall]

But, do guys really make that loud noise? I don't think so

I think you are right. It's the girls who let it rip, not the boys. But have you seen any Japanese gay porn? The guys may be drop dead gorgeous, but the constant grimacing and exhalations of "ugh - ugh - ugh" is a bit offputtng - the more so when you know they are merely 'acting' Wow, the sight of those slim bodies and hairless smooth thighs . . . down boy!!

[Guest]

Some sympathy is due.

Listening to the high pitched sound of females participating in sex, or in any way getting excited is unpleasant.

 

Suggestions:

1 I'm surprised the noise carries across into your room. Presumably you have a high density front door, which has airtight sealing all around? That's essential for both noise reduction and as a barrier to smoke.

 

2 Does the law and the apartment regulations have anything about keeping noise to a reasonable level?

I guess you could ask them nicely, then follow up with whatever legal options are available.

 

If you only hear this during the daytime, play some music. If it happens when you want to sleep, that's more of an issue.

[Guest fountainhall]

Listening to the high pitched sound of females participating in sex, or in any way getting excited is unpleasant.

Thanks for the useful suggestions. My door is pretty thick and is sealed. But the marble-lined corridors and straight walls outside inevitably amplify sounds that happen to carry into it. I have tried to persuade the management committee to put a cheap carpet down to soak up sound and reverberation. But putting a carpet over marble is regarded as heresy! Some nice Thai wall hangings would achieve almost the same effect, but I can't see that being agreed either.

 

I have never checked the apartment regulations! I do know, though, that there was an issue some years ago with a German couple who seemed to work in the evenings. When they returned home after midnight, they'd play pop music at a very high volume until after 3:00 am. It was not my floor and I could not hear anything, but several neighbours complained for months. I know the management wrote to them and tried everything they could to stop them. But it didn't. I suspect the couple got so pissed off with neighbours who'd been wakened constantly banging on their door, and decamped.

 

Since I only heard the moments of ecstasy for the first time this morning, it really didn't disturb me. It was just, shall we say, unexpected. My bedroom is off the living room and so I would not hear it at night. But my neighbour definitely does and he is the one who is really angry. As thaiworthy suggests, maybe some form of carrot should be tried first. I'm happy to donate a nice bottle of wine if it's going to help!

[Rogie]

Buy them cheap wine, they'll probably won't know the difference.

As thaiworthy suggests, maybe some form of carrot should be tried first. I'm happy to donate a nice bottle of wine if it's going to help!

Cheap wine or decent wine?

 

It's my hunch it's not in Fountainhall's nature to go and resort to cheap plonk, but I have to agree with Thaiworthy it's probably a waste of a decent bottle.

 

Why not kill two birds with one stone? That ten-year old bottle of Campari (**) might just fit the bill . . .

 

** see the A Question about Booze thread, post #1

[Guest fountainhall]

Why not kill two birds with one stone? That ten-year old bottle of Campari (**) might just fit the bill . . .

Brilliant idea! I'll suggest this to my neighbour. And I'll thoroughly wipe the bottle so there will be no trace of fingerprints - just in case it has gone really bad

 

Today it's 10:50 as I write - and absolute silence. Sounds like they wore themselves out yesterday!

[Bob]

I too love Thaiworthy's idea about leaving a bottle of wine with a note. The key to me is to make the note humorous and anonymous. Maybe we ought to have a contest to write one...hehe.

Something like(?):

 

We wish to inform you that the auditory level of your love-making has been a topic of interest around the condo building. Some wish to donate to assist the sound-proofing of your walls whereas others are wondering if video tapes might be available.

Regardless, this bottle of wine is offered as a token of our collective amazement.

 

Your Neighbors

[Moses]

hehehehe...

 

usually I do opposite: at the evening before special night I put bottle of wine in front of door of my neighborhoods downstairs with note "sorry, it will be special night tonight"

 

never had complains after it