How you remember peoples' names from a party encounter?

[unicorn]

Yesterday, at an afternoon luncheon Christmas Eve party, I was (re-)introduced to three people, to whom I'd apparently been previously introduced at a 4th of July pool party I'd thrown either earlier this year or the year before. At the 4th of July party, they had come with our mutual friend, who'd brought them as +1,2,3's. Not remembering them, I introduced myself, and the first one said, semi-haughtily, "Well, I remember you, but you obviously don't remember me." Well, I thought it was fairly unexpected that I didn't remember him, considering the 4th of July party had some 100 people in attendance, I'd been drinking, and none of the three were people I'd specifically invited. If I go to a party, I'll always remember the host, but probably not most of the people to whom I'm introduced, unless we have a long conversation (which we didn't). 

My husband is better with names than I am, and I asked him how he remembers names. He said that he only remembers names if they follow each other on Instagram. He said he remembers people when they add each other to the Instagram following list. He sees them again when they post on Instagram, and remembers them at the next party. In fact, I bumped into someone I'd met at another mutual friend's party at our local supermarket. It turns out we live quite close-by. I asked if we could have him and his partner over for a wine and cheese some evening, and my husband said that this person didn't follow him on Instagram, so he really wasn't keen on having them over. "We have enough friends. Why have them over if they're not even interested enough to follow?". 

I remember another time at one of my parties, another man acted somewhat incensed, and even complained to my husband, that I didn't remember him, although the extent of "knowing each other" was simply brief talks at parties (we'd never socialized otherwise, and certainly I'd never been invited to his place, although he'd come twice to ours). I suppose he might have felt more slighted because he's popular on Instagram, with almost 10,000 followers. He's attractive, but on par with a lot of other friends we have. 

Do you remember the names of people you only bump into at parties? How do you do it? Maybe I need to participate with Instagram more often, as that would obviously make it easier for me to remember names the next time we meet. 

 

[vinapu]

10 minutes ago, unicorn said:

Do you remember the names of people you only bump into at parties? 

Sometimes I do, at other times I don't and I don't sweat over it as excuse ' it was so many people when we met " seems to be working. On another hand,  to be even handed , I don't take slightest offense if people I met before forget my name, I use the  same  excuse above as showing I don't mind.

As for bringing Instagram or any other social media into it, I wouldn't  at all. I'm reluctant to share  contact information with people I met for the first time, simple reason being , often I would be thinking ' who the hell that person is". 

Of course when travelling,  different , more relaxed rule applies as it's handy to have contact with other travellers  , not to mention guys in the business. 

[Keithambrose]

I have never been good with names. In the old days when working cards were exchanged,  and that made it easier. I meetings I'd put the cards in order, in front of me so I could remember who was who. Socially I remain poor at memory of names, so if in doubt, I say, 'I believe  we met before'. If we have met fine, if not they are less likely  to be upset! I loathe social media, and would hate to have my friends delineated  by Instagram!

[bkkmfj2648]

2 hours ago, unicorn said:

and my husband said that this person didn't follow him on Instagram, so he really wasn't keen on having them over. "We have enough friends. Why have them over if they're not even interested enough to follow?". 

Outch, that selection criteria hurt.

It excludes many of us who are not into the social media scene (FB, Instagram, Tiktok, etc.).

I guess it will be a lonely world if you chose to ignore social media? 😢😪

[kokopelli3]

I don't even remember the people I know and see everyday!  Many of my friends keep mixing up the names of mutual friends. Maybe Alzheimer's ?555

[vinapu]

53 minutes ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

 

I guess it will be a lonely world if you chose to ignore social media? 😢😪

rest assured it will not, I'm not on any of those other that WhatsApp and Line and I may be short of many things, smarts and looks included but not short of friends .

Of course younger generation growing up from beginning on media may  feel differently but this is precisely why I don't envy young people those days

[vinapu]

10 minutes ago, kokopelli3 said:

I don't even remember the people I know and see everyday!  Many of my friends keep mixing up the names of mutual friends. Maybe Alzheimer's ?555

or one shot too much ?

[Riobard]

Pretty much all you could do was compliment or validate the confrontational guy’s memory because he caught you out and you were beyond plausible deniability. “You’re better at names and faces” or “No flies on you”. It would be one thing you could do despite his own social etiquette gaffe and there would be no way for him to twist the knife.

If you wanted to be a bit snotty or shut the door on the topic when he tried to embarrass you, intentionally or simply awkward himself, you could say “You spelled it out without being asked”. Or turned to your partner, saying “Didn’t I favour the name-tag idea?” 

In his swimwear crasher #1 had obviously been a ‘no’, not a ‘yes’ or ‘maybe’ for fuckable. 

[Keithambrose]

9 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

Outch, that selection criteria hurt.

It excludes many of us who are not into the social media scene (FB, Instagram, Tiktok, etc.).

I guess it will be a lonely world if you chose to ignore social media? 😢😪

I seem to manage!

[Riobard]

Who needs the usual socials when there are opportunities such as Instagramps, the occasional X-rated Twit, 2Facebrooked, Slinkedin, flamboyant Threads, and Tell-a-Gramp. 

[Riobard]

11 hours ago, Keithambrose said:

I seem to manage!

 Not to mention the micro part.

[Riobard]

On 12/25/2024 at 6:43 PM, Keithambrose said:

… I loathe social media …

Oh come on! This from the keyboard of somebody permanently logged in and with insatiable craving for influence.