Audacity to ask for money

[Olddaddy]

Two WhatsApp messages in two days by two different boys that I saw in my October trip

One guy I had seen several times in my first 2 weeks of my 4 week trip then he ghosted me and was too busy ,he even cancelled a few appointments to turn up , Excuses were  "it's raining " etc or"  I'm too tired after working restaurant all day"  '

He wasn't a bar boy ,he is 38yo ex bar boy works in restaurant 

I took him to dance clubs , etc and even paid him for his time ,  then I thought I did something wrong ,he just started ignoring my messages 

So I didn't see him the entire last 2 weeks of my trip ,he just didn't answer my messages or response was a few days later with short replies "I'm busy" etc 

I even sent him a message saying I'm going back home in a few days if he wants to meet up ,his response was ,"I'm busy working long hours in restaurant but see you next year on your trip " 😲

Last night I get a ringing sound on my WhatsApp, Im thinking it's some scammer but I accept the call and go to video to see it's him !!!

Hello he said ,you remember me?

How are you ? I have no money 💲💲can you send me some I have no food 

"Really ? I said 

What happened to the long hours in the restaurant? I asked ❓

Oh I have fight with boss he says 

You didn't want to see me the last 2 weeks of my trip , you ghosted me , now you want to call me back in Australia asking for money !😳

Unbelievable ❗😯😳the audacity to ask for money after not wanting to know me the last 2 weeks of my trip !

 

[bkkmfj2648]

Hahahaha

This is NORMAL modus operandi for many of these guys.

No shame.  No guilt.  No self control, No financial responsibility, etc.

It is just amazing.

After living here as a new retiree here for more than 2 years -  I now see how to survive here psychologically and mentally --> in that you just need to become a grumpy non-heart cold jaded old bastard expat retiree.

So sad, as I had not envisioned to have this kind of existence in the last years of my life.

 

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

living here as a new retiree here for more than 2 years -  I now see how to survive here psychologically and mentally --> in that you just need to become a grumpy non-heart cold jaded old

Is that why I see the old guys looking bitter and miserable in the Jomtien complex?😖🍋

[bkkmfj2648]

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

Is that why I see the old guys looking bitter and miserable in the Jomtien complex?😖🍋

I am starting to believe that the answer is yes.

I just have to figure out HOW to avoid that I become one of them.

Do I need to change countries?   Or perhaps relocate to a less jaded city in Thailand ?

[a-447]

51 minutes ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

I am starting to believe that the answer is yes.

I just have to figure out HOW to avoid that I become one of them.

Do I need to change countries?   Or perhaps relocate to a less jaded city in Thailand ?

Relocate to Tokyo.

It's got everything you could ever want in life. There no chance of becoming jaded there, that's for sure!

Plus it's incredibly cheap.

[reader]

6 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Last night I get a ringing sound on my WhatsApp, Im thinking it's some scammer but I accept the call and go to video to see it's him !!

Look on the bright side: It confirms that you are a man of sound judgement.

[Keithambrose]

8 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Two WhatsApp messages in two days by two different boys that I saw in my October trip

One guy I had seen several times in my first 2 weeks of my 4 week trip then he ghosted me and was too busy ,he even cancelled a few appointments to turn up , Excuses were  "it's raining " etc or"  I'm too tired after working restaurant all day"  '

He wasn't a bar boy ,he is 38yo ex bar boy works in restaurant 

I took him to dance clubs , etc and even paid him for his time ,  then I thought I did something wrong ,he just started ignoring my messages 

So I didn't see him the entire last 2 weeks of my trip ,he just didn't answer my messages or response was a few days later with short replies "I'm busy" etc 

I even sent him a message saying I'm going back home in a few days if he wants to meet up ,his response was ,"I'm busy working long hours in restaurant but see you next year on your trip " 😲

Last night I get a ringing sound on my WhatsApp, Im thinking it's some scammer but I accept the call and go to video to see it's him !!!

Hello he said ,you remember me?

How are you ? I have no money 💲💲can you send me some I have no food 

"Really ? I said 

What happened to the long hours in the restaurant? I asked ❓

Oh I have fight with boss he says 

You didn't want to see me the last 2 weeks of my trip , you ghosted me , now you want to call me back in Australia asking for money !😳

Unbelievable ❗😯😳the audacity to ask for money after not wanting to know me the last 2 weeks of my trip !

 

What about second boy?

[Keithambrose]

2 hours ago, a-447 said:

Relocate to Tokyo.

It's got everything you could ever want in life. There no chance of becoming jaded there, that's for sure!

Plus it's incredibly cheap.

Perhaps I visit a different  Tokyo, I find it expensive! Though to be fair boys are reasonable.  Cheaper than a good meal!

[a-447]

51 minutes ago, Keithambrose said:

Perhaps I visit a different  Tokyo, I find it expensive! 

I'm comparing it to prices in Australia.

The yen has fallen dramatically against the Aussie dollar so I find the cost of living very low in Japan - from food, clothing, local transportation, etc.

For dinner I always eat at an Izakaya pub, which apart from alcohol, serves a large variety of small dishes. 

Here's a receipt for a pub meal for 4 people. You can see we had around 19 dishes and 6 drinks - 2 glasses of shochu, 1 large beer, yuzu and honey cocktail, a high ball and an oolong tea. The bill came to 10916 yen (2400 baht, 68 euro, US$71, £56). I would hate to think what such a meal would cost on Australia.

 

[vinapu]

7 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

 

This is NORMAL modus operandi for many of these guys.

No shame.  No guilt.  No self control, No financial responsibility, etc.

 

since it's normal I'm tempted to think it must be working , specially if one spreads quite wide net.

Few times , although literally few I even succumbed, not as much out of pity but rather because I liked guy and felt myself good about being scammed or rather taking advantage  by HIM 

What seems to be working the best is answer " I only give money when I meet you in my room " , clarity of it goes across well.

[floridarob]

4 hours ago, reader said:

Look on the bright side: It confirms that you are a man of sound judgement.

This is where I do a spit take.....

In case you don't know what it is:

 

What is a spit take?

 

 

When the joke hits, the person accentuates the effect by pretending that the alleged humor/shock is so overwhelming and irresistible, that they cannot even control the urge of laughter/scream before swallowing, and therefore has to reflexively spit out the mouthful of content to prevent choking.

[Travelingguy]

11 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

Hahahaha

This is NORMAL modus operandi for many of these guys.

No shame.  No guilt.  No self control, No financial responsibility, etc.

It is just amazing.

After living here as a new retiree here for more than 2 years -  I now see how to survive here psychologically and mentally --> in that you just need to become a grumpy non-heart cold jaded old bastard expat retiree.

So sad, as I had not envisioned to have this kind of existence in the last years of my life.

 

I think that it is more about setting limits and compartmentalizing your life.  You give money for a service of some kind.  They aren’t seeing you for free.

Also, in your home country, I don’t think that you would socialize with guys that you are paying.  The paid guys and your regular friends would probably be two social circles that do not mix.  Since you are now living in Thailand, even if only part of the year, I would treat it similar to how you would have behaved in your home country. I have not been to Pattaya, yet.  However, I think that living away from the scene would be a better idea than living too close.  That way, you don’t have to walk past the massage shops and bars when doing your daily errands.

It isn’t about being bitter or jaded.  Just be clear in your own mind that you don’t give money away for free.  That is just the way it is.  No need to get angry or worked up or guilty or anxious, etc.  That is just the way that it is.

[Londoner]

It may be because I've just returned from Thailand and am, bluntly, fed-up....that I can sympathise with visitors who have disappointments there; we all do, whether it be an unsuccessful "off" or, in my case, a poor meal. Very few of those, by the way!

However, for someone contemplating a grey, chilly day in London, thousands of miles away from his loved-one  I must encourage adopting the Buddhist principle of (as P tells me, ad nauseam) "thinking good." It is true that, the older I get, the harder it is to look on the bright side but, for heaven's sake, the vast majority of guys on the scene whom we meet are friendly, reasonable in their demands. And fun. That was my experience, anyway.

For me, just to wander through the JC before bedtime (embarrassingly early in my case) enjoying the cheerful smiles, the enticing offers- cheerful and not persistent when refused- and the sheer joyfulness (at their best) of the guys is something I treasure. And even more so in retrospect. I just like being smiled at!

Is there anywhere else in the world where such pleasures are available so cheaply and so safely? and when the assignation isn't so good, it is so easy to say, "Mai pen rai; tomorrow's will be better". And it will be.  

 

[Olddaddy]

14 hours ago, Londoner said:

However, for someone contemplating a grey, chilly day in London, 

What a miserable Pom you are ,whilst I sit here in sweltering Sydney ,you complaining about the weather !! 

Nothing worse than a whinging pom as Aussies say, FFS look on the bright side 

It's either immigration and immigrants you people are whinging about or  your cold weather, be grateful that you are not sweltering in 40 degrees heat

[vinapu]

17 hours ago, Londoner said:

 

Is there anywhere else in the world where such pleasures are available so cheaply and so safely? 

 

no

[Slut1215]

Sweetie, when we encounter characters like these, it is unfortunate. I have learnt not to get upset, but to eliminate directly. You don't have to respond to them. Plenty of other trees in the forest...

[Olddaddy]

2 hours ago, Slut1215 said:

Sweetie, when we encounter characters like these, it is unfortunate. I have learnt not to get upset, but to eliminate directly. You don't have to respond to them. Plenty of other trees in the forest...

How dare you call the boys trees 

 

[reader]

On 12/19/2024 at 5:40 PM, Olddaddy said:

It's either immigration and immigrants you people are whinging about or  your cold weather, be grateful that you are not sweltering in 40 degrees heat

This is all good stuff, Olddaddy. You can use it on customers when you open your bar.

And you thought you weren't a people person.

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

How dare you call the boys trees 

 

it's hard to grow boys in the forest

[Keithambrose]

10 hours ago, vinapu said:

it's hard to grow boys in the forest

Young saplings?