Looks like its days are numbered

[Guest HeyGay]

Then you need new spies. You also need new excuses.

 

Go ahead and keep denying you're writing about Mike. Now go ahead and tell us all about how Joe asked you to write a damned thing.

 

Calm down your have a heat attack, My case is only speaking the truth, and no one can change that, that's why Joe should have a voice, he is the one who started all this. may be its you who needs an excuse, you seem to think along those lines.

 

I dont think continuously repeating your self is not going to convince any one your right, that what bullies try to do.

[Guest fountainhall]

Do you see any reason in the world why ANY personal information about others belongs discussed in chatty dinner groups?

In the above, Michael was responding to the following –

 

I see no reason in the world why any personal information about others belongs in posts on message boards.

Personally, I see quite a difference. The former is a discussion amongst a group of friends/acquaintances. Each knows what is being said about whom and by whom. Each has the opportunity to knock down allegations if he feels they are inaccurate. And each has the opportunity at a later stage to correct any inaccuracies

 

Posting on a Message Board is making several jumps down that road, if only because Message Boards are not just restricted to the posting membership. They are readily available to anyone who happens upon the site. Quite a number of gaythailand posts are offered for all the world to read when searching subjects on google, for example.

 

I see in his more recent posts, HeyGay is yet again true to form by adopting his usual tactics (my post #27). First, "the truth" -

 

My case is only speaking the truth, and no one can change that . . .

- then, turn on those who criticize -

. . . I dont think continuously repeating your self is not going to convince any one your right, that what bullies try to do.

Yet, he still continues to disguise his own admission, as in -

 

. . . my English is so bad

- whereas two posters have confirmed totally the opposite -

 

. . . himself posted that upon his graduation from a school for English teachers his teacher pronounced him the best student in the class.

Geezer is right. I posted nothing he hadn't said himself.

So where does the TRUTH lie here, I wonder - especially for someone for whom the truth is always so important in his posts?

[TotallyOz]

Personally, I see quite a difference. The former is a discussion amongst a group of friends/acquaintances. Each knows what is being said about whom and by whom. Each has the opportunity to knock down allegations if he feels they are inaccurate. And each has the opportunity at a later stage to correct any inaccuracies

 

LOL Really? It is a discussion among friends (often loud that others who are not friends can hear) that are discussing someone else. That person is not there to defend themselves or to knock down any allegations.

 

The only difference is one is written and one is spoken.

 

Sorry, Fountainhall, your argument does not hold water. (think Marisa Tormei in My Cousin Vinny)

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7J-2EIvItVY

[Guest thaiworthy]

So where does the TRUTH lie here, I wonder - especially for someone for whom the truth is always so important in his posts?

 

In this case, TRUTH, like beauty, lies in the eyes of the beholder, which is the OP, and who obviously enjoys sharing his information, regardless of the apparent shirking of responsibility for its consequences. I am no one to judge another, I am just as guilty as some others for spreading gossip. There is only a small distinction between private conversations and public board postings. HeyGay's comical rendering of the little old ladies was appropriate. But they should have been sitting in whicker chairs at some well-known Bar around The Corner. I suppose at one time or another one of those ladies must have looked a lot like me, saying that a little birdie told me . . .

 

Gossip is just that. Gossip. The fact that technology has enabled us to share it more easily over the last 20 years or so hasn't changed its ugly face.

 

On my frequent trips to Thailand I always hear gossip around Sunee Plaza. It is the number one pastime. And it's shamefully fun. However, as has been mentioned, the only figures I hear gossip about are the most known, or notorious, the most controversial and most visible expat members of the community: forum moderators, scandalous posters, and bar owners. I can't avoid listening and when prompted to join in the conversation, I prefer to change the topic, usually because the figure being discussed is being mentioned in an unkind way. I think if I were the one being talked about, that is how I would want it to be handled. I approach such conversations as if the person being discussed were listening to what I had to say about them and I had to actually face them the next day. It's almost as if speaking their name makes them materialize out of thin air. What would they think of me if they knew what was I saying about them? Of course, these are people I actually know of and usually have met. I have never met the OP, but still feel obliged to keep my big mouth shut. MIchael and I must have had the same mother who said, if you can't say something nice about somebody, then don't say anything at all.

 

This little birdie sitting in the whicker chair had better mind his p's and q's. The next little birdie sitting in that same chair an hour later-- may well be talking about me.

[Guest thaiworthy]

Spreading rumors without knowing for a fact if they are true is gossip, whether read on a board or spoken in private.

 

Gossip is mentioned in The Ten Commandments: "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor." Right alongside "Thou shalt not kill."

 

A man went about the community telling malicious lies about the rabbi. Later, he realized the wrong he had done, and began to feel remorse. He went to the rabbi and begged his forgiveness, saying he would do anything he could to make amends. The rabbi told the man, "Take a feather pillow, cut it open, and scatter the feathers to the winds." The man thought this was a strange request, but it was a simple enough task, and he did it gladly. When he returned to tell the rabbi that he had done it, the rabbi said, "Now, go and gather the feathers. Because you can no more make amends for the damage your words have done than you can recollect the feathers."

 

Gossip

 

This has everything to do with human decency toward others, plain and simple, IMHO.

[Guest fountainhall]

Sorry, Fountainhall, your argument does not hold water. (think Marisa Tormei in My Cousin Vinny)

I was actually thinking of a group of friends in a discussion at home rather than a more public setting – although on rereading the thread I accept that I should perhaps have been more specific. That said, though, I stand by what I said.

 

I have never seen My Cousin Vinny, I take it from the clip that you are referring to the volume of a conversation in public which could easily be overheard by others. But I find it hard to accept that argument. If you mean a bar setting, then you are talking about a background ambient noise level which will be pretty loud and will vary a great deal. For someone to overhear a group of friends gossiping will, in most cases, require firstly the group to be talking in a pretty animated/heated fashion, and then on those intent on overhearing to be concentrating pretty hard. Indeed, I reckon some might even describe that as prying.

 

Whilst that’s clearly another matter, perhaps I see this issue as less one of gossip v. no gossip, but an acceptance of the fact that – like it or not – people do gossip, people will continue to gossip, and because it is, let’s be frank, impossible to stop them, a far greater damage is done if that gossip is printed in a public forum than in a verbal discussion which is supposed to be private.

 

Yes, I agree with you, some damage may still be done to a reputation. But the degree is totally different (since, to use thaiworthy’s example, there will be few feathers out there).

 

I know I will not convince you. But let me briefly return to a topic which involved several threads about a year or so ago: the Russian musician who was alleged to have molested an underage boy. Had someone with an interest in classical music heard of that case and put two and two together before the international media got hold of it, there would unquestionably have been gossip in a bar or two in Pattaya. Yet, because the number of people in the city knowledgeable about international classical music ‘stars’ is probably not large (my guess), I further guess it would have remained just that – gossip. Yet, when it finally hit the media due, I assume, to police leaks, it became an overnight front-page story around the world with a gazillion feathers strewn in the wind. With the best will in the world, I do not believe you can equate the two!

[Guest Geezer]

Do I listen to "gossip"?

 

I appreciate receiving information from friends concerning Mike, and without a single exception everything I have heard substantiates my knowledge that he is a man of the highest character and exemplary behavior.

 

If someone has a need to characterize such information as (gasp) “gossip” -- have at it.

[TotallyOz]

I appreciate receiving information from friends concerning Mike, and without a single exception everything I have heard substantiates my knowledge that he is a man of the highest character and exemplary behavior.

 

As does Heyday's post. Looks like the two of you are in agreement on this. Birds of a feather....

[TotallyOz]

As does Heyday's post. Looks like the two of you are in agreement on this. Birds of a feather....

 

But, be careful if the two of you become good friends. He has paparazzi following him all the time and you never know when some nut job will jump out from the dark abyss and snap his photo as a keepsake.

[Guest HeyGay]

I'd say it depends upon the format that it's publicly available. If it's in the news media, then I don't see a problem. If it stems from gossip, I see a big problem.

 

 

As for the job the moderators do here, since it's rather obvious I'm the "jerk" Michael refers to, nobody is perfect and that includes moderators. I have no dispute with the job they usually do here, but this is one time I am in full disagreement about letting the original post on this thread stand. That's not telling them how to do their job. It's disagreeing with letting that post remain and I think I'm right about that. If Michael wants to resort to name calling, whether he meant me or someone else, that's his affair.

 

 

Oh dear! I would have thought it rather rude to come here and tell these nice people, how to run there Forum, every one has a different idea of how a forum should be run and with you trying to dominate your likes and dislikes here on this nice gentile site, I think its very wrong.

 

Personally I don't think any one should be allowed to let their one sided views decide what is shown on a forum and what is not, who is to say your not wrong, why are you always right, that is a sanitized one sided view of life as it really is, nothing is black or white there is grays all over the place. when someone is so obsessed with controlling what is aloud to be be written on it, if you have personal thoughts one way or the other, it should not cloud the issue, so much as not allowing anything you don't like to be shown on the forum, that to me is not moderation its a control freak.

 

All sides of the story should be shown, so the viewers can make their own mind up not treat people like children dont worry the truth quickly materailizes you dont have to protect us from it we are all big boys you know, so you think its OK if the news paper write about situations and people, but if both sides of a story that is of great Interest around our Little world, maintaining the credibility of one of the people mentioned, that's not allowed. well that is your view. thank Buddha we don't all think the same, just because you think that. does not mean it has to be deleted. so many other people as you see here nearly 2000 hits and 100 replies in afew days, are interested in this situation and Its the talk of the town, you cant tell me your not chatting about it at the Corner Bar with all your associates there, of course you are don't be such a hippo.

 

By the way Mr Nice moderator?

Its so strange I mention the name of the guy who spreads all the gossip around town messaging people and telling them all sorts of stories about me, he like to dream up, but when Michael mention Geezer that is not deleted, if me mentioning a handle is, why not every one

[Bob]

Looks like the two of you are in agreement on this. Birds of a feather....

 

While Geezer can always succinctly respond for himself, I think you missed the drift of Geezer's comments. And my guess is he would absolutely bristle at your "birds of a feather" comment.

[Guest Geezer]

I think you missed the drift of Geezer's comments.

Perhaps he did. Or perhaps Michael simply chose not to address it.

And my guess is he would absolutely bristle at your "birds of a feather" comment.

I only smile at Michael's gentle needling.

[Gaybutton]

you cant tell me your not chatting about it at the Corner Bar with all your associates there

You want to bet? You definitely need new spies.

[Guest HeyGay]

While Geezer can always succinctly respond for himself, I think you missed the drift of Geezer's comments. And my guess is he would absolutely bristle at your "birds of a feather" comment.

 

Wow what about poor me, I can have a say in this one sided view of do I look like a bird of a feather compared to geezer I look like a Paris Model, well as a mature man my self, please don

[TotallyOz]

By the way Mr Nice moderator?

Its so strange I mention the name of the guy who spreads all the gossip around town messaging people and telling them all sorts of stories about me, he like to dream up, but when Michael mention Geezer that is not deleted, if me mentioning a handle is, why not every one

 

Perhaps it is I don't make fun of people or their names when posting. You do.

 

While Geezer can always succinctly respond for himself, I think you missed the drift of Geezer's comments. And my guess is he would absolutely bristle at your "birds of a feather" comment.

 

Sorry Bob, I guess it went over my head. I thought Geezer was stating that the only things he has heard in his group is positive comments about Mike. I stated that Heyday didn't write anything negative. His comments were also positive about Mike and what a good guy he was. Perhaps I just missed something and if that is the case, I do apologize. Sometimes I get a "blond" complex and have a brain fart.

 

 

Bob: And my guess is he would absolutely bristle at your "birds of a feather" comment.

Geezer: I only smile at Michael's gentle needling.

 

Glad I was able to bring a smile to your face. You realizing I had no malicious intent and was only having fun brought a smile to my face. Some people love to dish things out but can't take it. You seem to be gracious in both. Kudos!

 

 

And, for the last time (I hope and everyone else hopes) this will be my last comment here. (I know I said that before but I really really mean it now).

 

[Guest HeyGay]

Perhaps it is I don't make fun of people or their names when posting. You do.

 

HeyGay says :- Well that's a very bad augment because if that was the case all the names imp called I would go down on record and the most hated name on the Gay Forums

 

Sorry Bob, I guess it went over my head. I thought Geezer was stating that the only thing he has heard in his group is positive comments about Mike. I stated that Heyday didn't write anything negative. His comments were also positive about Mike and what a good guy he was. Perhaps I just missed something and if that is the case, I do apologize. Sometimes I get a "blond" complex and have a brain fart.

 

HeyGay says :- your right and I will say it again, MIKE is a Good Guy and he deserves better after all the trouble effort and time and not to mention his own personal money went into purchasing White Night making La Cage what it is today, but I'm afraid if he goes down the road of putting a Thai Boy up as the own he will have to pay the price as we have seen now to which must be devastating to him personally especially as he was not so boyfriend any more, and there was not love lost.

 

Bob: And my guess is he would absolutely bristle at your "birds of a feather" comment.

Geezer: I only smile at Michael's gentle needling.

 

Glad I was able to bring a smile to your face. You realizing I had no malicious intent and was only having fun brought a smile to my face. Some people love to dish things out but can't take it. You seem to be gracious in both. Kudos!

 

HeyGay says :- Geezer is not a bad Man; his is just misguided some times.

[Guest snapshot]

I think this is a matter of integrity, and simply put Heygay doesn't have any ...

Nail on the head.

 

As for his motive...

 

VARIETIES OF INDIVIDUAL POWER:

 

Legitimate Power...

 

Reward Power

 

Coercive Power...

 

Expert Power...

 

Charisma Power...

 

Referent Power a power that is gained by association...

 

Information Power a person who has possession of important information at an important time when such information is needed to organizational functioning. Someone who has this information knowledge has genuine power. For example, a manager's secretary would be in a powerful position if the secretary has information power.

 

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leadership

 

... In this case, HeyGay is content to obtain what he perceives to be power via two methods highlighted blue above, without any regard for right or wrong, accuracy, honesty and consideration of others.

[Guest thaiworthy]

... In this case, HeyGay is content to obtain what he perceives to be power via two methods highlighted blue above, without any regard for right or wrong, accuracy, honesty and consideration of others.

 

I have never thought of power-hungry people as anything but inconsiderate, irrespective of their methods. My connotation of the term "power-hungry" by default means ruthless.

[Guest snapshot]

Gandhi was power hungry... People seek power for right and wrong reasons.

 

Methods aren't right or wrong on their own but shameless name dropping (referent power) and indecent gossip (information power) without justification can indicate a low life without integrity.