Thai Logic

[Gaybutton]

One of our favorite "beach chatter" subjects is the oxymoron, "Thai Logic." We constantly talk about the way things are done in Thailand and try to figure out the logic (or lack thereof) behind it. For example, only a few days ago a close friend told me his Thai boyfriend had given him a phone number to enter in his mobile phone. My friend entered the number as given. It turned out to be an incorrect number.

 

"You put wrong number in telephone," the Thai boy said, apparently upset with my friend for having entered the wrong number.

 

"But that's the number you gave me, exactly as you gave it to me," my 'farang' friend insisted.

 

"But you put in wrong number," was the Thai logic answer.

 

My personal favorite example is the motocycle helmet law. Now, anyone riding on a motorcycle as either driver or passenger must wear a helmet . . . apparently with the exception of childen. I've lost count of how many times I've seen motorcyclists dutifully wearing their helmets while carrying helmetless children, often babies.

 

Law or not law, a large number of people still try to get away with not wearing a helmet. My own boyfriend's reasoning is typical Thai logic. "Where I going not have police." I can't convince him that the reason to wear a helmet has nothing to do with whether the police like it or not, but for his own personal safety.

 

It is illegal in Thailand to sell pornographic Cd's and DVD's. You can own them. You can buy them. You just can't sell them. At the beach, there is a vendor who comes around regularly selling them for 80 baht a pop. If he gets caught he could be looking at serious jail time. My boyfriend and I were at the beach one day and he was interested in looking at the vendor's wares. While he was looking, I asked the vendor why he sells these. I pointed out that if he sells anything else, the worst that could happen to him is losing his wares if the police confiscate them, but he could have a big problem if he is caught selling this porn.

 

He gave me a big smile and said, "No problem. My brother police."

 

Many of you know the age-old peeve about 'farang' pricing. 10 baht for 'farang' on the baht buses, while the Thais pay 5 baht. I often wonder how much Chinese, Korean, and Japanese people pay. Double pricing for 'farang' at many other places, sometimes triple or even quadruple for 'farang.'

 

Have you ever asked Thai people what they think about 'farang' pricing? Most tell me they agree with the higher pricing for 'farang,' and these are not necessarily people who have anything to gain by 'farang' pricing. "'Farang' have more money than Thai people," is the usual logic applied.

 

Of course, I don't really understand what makes the 'farang' think their own logic makes any more sense than Thai logic. The following is a list of laws that are actually on the books . . . in Florida. And these are just Florida. If you do a little searching, you're bound to come up with a list of laws just as absurd where you come from:

 

Florida

 

 

[Guest stef]

This is so funny. I have many times wonder where is this "Thai Logic" coming from. My friend told me right at the beginning there aren't any logic at all and it wasn't worth trying to understand as I would never get it. Well that's true. I gave up very fast.

There are so many "It is illegal to do or say this" but still many are doing and saying it or trying to find a way to fight it or go around it.

 

Thanks Gaybutton for sharing part of the law in Florida. Some of the things you cited is so weird I could not believe it does happen. But I guess it did as they would have never made it up at the first place

[Gaybutton]

If you think that's weird, try reading some of the US tax code. By the way, I recently read that 78% of the very legislators who write the tax code have to have their own taxes done by professionals. Even they can't figure it out.

 

Here's a few more laws that actually exist in the USA and elsewhere. Your guess is as good as mine as to the circumstances that caused laws about them to be passed. It might be good for some out there to remember a few of these the next time they want to complain about Thai logic:

 

1. Theaters in Glendale, California can show horror films only on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.

 

2. You can't plow a cotton field with an elephant in North Carolina.

 

3. In Lehigh, Nebraska it's against the law to sell donut holes.

 

4. Under the law of Mississippi, there

[Guest catawampuscat]

I love to read novels and was a frequent visitor to my local free libraries..I went almost as often as I vistited the video rental stores to check out what was new in the 'adult' section.. I have noticed that many of the boys I spend lots of time with rarely read and if they do it is the comic style books or a newspaper.. I know many of the boys did not finish school and some have difficulties with lilteracy..

 

Then I started to think about the West and have my doubts that reading novels and books is all that popular among the majority of teenagers and twenty somethings..With video games, movies, TV

school work, I would imagine that reading is in decline among the young in general..The Harry Potter books sparked an interest and excited the publishing world..

When I visited the libraries in the West, mostly older people were there and the very young in large groups or with mothers/nannies..Libraries now lend video movies and have internet stations and current magazines and newspapers..

 

I am grateful for the Thais4 Life bookstore on Soi Yensaibai next to All Boys Bar... They have a large selection of novels mostly by the best selling authors and I always find a couple to buy.. Sometimes, I don't care for a book but for 40B., it is okay..If I was spending 400B. or whatever new paperbacks go for today, it would be annoying to waste the money..I have discovered new authors I never read before and am a frequent visitor..The volunteers are really nice and helpful and more than happy to discuss books or advise you if you have questions..And the money goes to a good cause..

[bkkguy]

You know what you never see in Thailand? A public library.

 

you obviously don't look very hard:

 

Pattaya Public Library 437 Moo 9, Soi Yodsak (Soi 6)

Tel.: 038.426.341

 

and there are quite a few public libraries in Bangkok, including one in Lumphini Park

 

bkkguy

 

 

[Guest stef]

I guess what he tried to say , is that Libraries aren't easy to find, not like in the states but in every mall or city , few of them can be found.

I know one in Pattaya as it is right across the starbucks I use every day. I could not miss it. Otherwise I have no clue where to find an other one. I am sure there are some but where ??

Anyway I don't read books and I don't attend to start ( I know that's a bad thing ) but It makes me fall asleep so don't hand me over a list of libraries just for me......

[Gaybutton]

you obviously don't look very hard:

 

Pattaya Public Library 437 Moo 9, Soi Yodsak (Soi 6)

Tel.: 038.426.341

 

and there are quite a few public libraries in Bangkok, including one in Lumphini Park

 

bkkguy

 

Ok, I stand corrected. Here's a few other things you never see in Thailand, or at least I don't . . .

 

1. A real New York style deli.

 

2. Hellman's Mayonaise

 

3. Rocking chairs

 

4. Self service gas stations (and I hope I never do see those. That would go over about as well as a self service massage parlor)

 

5. bread machines

 

6. buses, 18-wheelers, and pickup trucks that don't belch out clouds of black exhaust fumes.

 

7. abortion clinics

 

8. Here's one I do see, but only rarely . . . stop signs.

 

9. designated handicapped parking spaces (actually I do see that, but I've seen them only at Carrefour)

 

10. surf boards

 

[TotallyOz]

Ok, I stand corrected. Here's a few other things you never see in Thailand, or at least I don't . . .

 

and,

 

1. Secret Deoderant - Strong enough for a man but made for a woman.

2. Tylenol PM

3. Calvin Klein wickin underwear

 

 

[Gaybutton]

Here's a few more things you never see in Thailand . . .

 

1. Thai boys who genuinely enjoy being publicly fondled and groped by older "farang."

 

2. off-the-rack clothing tht fits me.

 

3. legitimate software, CD's, and DVD's (except at very rare locations.)

 

4. baht bus drivers who don't toot their horns at every pedestrian they see.

 

5. horse race tracks, trotter tracks, and greyhound tracks.

 

6. people smoking a pipe (except the occasional water pipe at middle eastern restaurants)

 

7. rip-off prices at airport restaurants.

 

8. rip-off prices at convenience stores.

 

9. self-service car washes

 

10. Thai people who know (or care) who Tonto was. (not that I care either - I just needed something for number 10)

 

 

 

 

[Gaybutton]

Here is another example of Thai logic. Just yesterday a close friend told me he had ordered a pizza. He placed the order by phone and the pizza was to be delivered to him. This was a pizza "set" that was to include the pizza, a soft drink, and chicken nuggets.

 

What he received was the pizza, the soft drink, and two orders of french fries.

 

He called the pizza place and asked about this. "No have chicken nuggets," was the response.

 

They simply substituted french fries for the chicken nuggets. My friend told them he didn't want any french fries. He asked why they would substitute french fries, of all things, for chicken nuggets. The response was, "It is same same."

 

My friend replied, "No it is not 'same same.' Chicken nuggets and french fries are not 'same same.'"

 

The pizza man said, "Same same. Chicken nuggets 40 baht. French fries 40 baht. Same same."

 

After recovering from that statement, which the pizza man apparently thought was perfectly logical, my friend asked why they didn't tell him they were out of chicken nuggets when he placed the order. He got no answer; only a sheepish laugh.

[Guest catawampuscat]

I have got a good one.........

 

Boys who tell you that they are a "man" and not gay..They mean that they are active and not passive and that there is a "no entry" sign on their behind.. Of course, these same boys have absolutely

no problem having sex with a ladyboy or a girl and thinking that they are straight..

 

When I was that age, if you were having sex with a feminine boy and he was your boyfriend, people would think you were out of your mind to say you were straight..Instead of hiding it from their friends, the boys go ape when they see a pretty ladyboy and it is perfectly "normal" ...

 

I know of a farang who loves to top feminine boys and thinks he is straight and has or had a gf back in Europe.. Maybe, it is something like what happens in prisons, but here girls are more than available and very often the ladyboy is preferred by the "man"........go figure..

[Gaybutton]

Another one is what we call "Thai time." Punctuality is not exactly a priority in most cases. Those with a lot of experience in Thailand have almost certainly heard, "Just a minute, I come." That usually turns out to mean anywhere from half an hour to five or six hours, or more.

 

Are you supposed to meet someone at 9:00 for dinner? Are you taking your boyfriend? Better tell the boyfriend that dinner is at 7:30. That way you shouldn't be more than half an hour late for your 9:00 dinner.

 

One of the more frustrating things is when a service technician tells you he'll be there on Thursday.

"What time on Thursday?"

"Morning."

"Can you be more specific?"

"About 10:00 morning."

I've seen that mean anywhere from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM. Sometimes they don't show up at all. It never occurs to anyone to call and tell you they can't make it or call and tell you they will be hours later than they promised.

 

One time my boyfriend and I were going to make a trip in our car. We were going to take some of his friends with us. I told them, very clearly, "Be here at 9:00 in the morning. We are going to leave at 9:00 and we won't wait. If you're here at 9:01, you missed the trip." One boy didn't show up and we left. At about 3:30 that afternoon we received a phone call from the boy. "I at your house. I come now. Why you not wait for me?"

 

Have you ever "offed" a boy and decided to ask him to stay with you for a few days? Has he ever said he needs to go to his apartment for awhile, but he'll be back in an hour? Has he ever actually been back in an hour? Most of the time that means anywhere from two to six hours before he shows up again.

 

If you are going to spend time in Thailand, you might as well accept the idea of Thai time and be prepared for it. No matter how hard you try or how clearly you state it, you're going to understand all about Thai time by the time you return to your home country.

[Guest fountainhall]

This is admittedly not an example of Thai logic, but equally one that leaves me mystified. I am in Istanbul for a few days. Pausing during a visit to Topkapi Palace this morning, I was enjoying some apple tea and baclava at a little terrace cafe overlooking the Bosphorus, when I happened to overhear 2 Americans in some animated discussion behind me. The subject under discussion seemed to be some piece of electronic or digital equipment whose precise nature escaped me.

 

"What is four and seven?" asked one.

 

"I'm not sure," said the other, then after a slight pause " . . . it's 34 I think."

 

That sure made me think B)

[Guest lvdkeyes]

Without more of the conversation it is difficult to know what they were talking about.

[Gaybutton]

That sure made me think

This thread is over three years old. Now that you've resurrected it, when reading through it I see that nothing has changed. People and governments may come and go, but Thai Logic goes on forever . . .

[Guest fountainhall]

Without more of the conversation it is difficult to know what they were talking about

 

It was one of those conversations that rather drifted with the breeze. I was paying far more attention to the view than what other people were saying. Of this one, I caught mere snippets, and when I finally turned around, the Americans had gone. I suppose there is a perfectly valid explanation although, as with many conversations in Thailand I don't have a clue what that might be!

[Guest buckeroo2]

<!--quoteo(post=245:date=Apr 24 2006, 12:04 AM:name=bkkguy)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(bkkguy @ Apr 24 2006, 12:04 AM) 245[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->

you obviously don't look very hard:

 

Pattaya Public Library 437 Moo 9, Soi Yodsak (Soi 6)

Tel.: 038.426.341

 

and there are quite a few public libraries in Bangkok, including one in Lumphini Park

 

bkkguy

<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

 

Ok, I stand corrected. Here's a few other things you never see in Thailand, or at least I don't . . .

 

 

9. designated handicapped parking spaces (actually I do see that, but I've seen them only at Carrefour)

 

 

 

There are designated handicapped parking spots outside on the street level of the Villa Market parking area at The Avenue. They are blocked off with parking cones and the parking officials remove the cones when the spaces are needed by the handicapped.

 

P.S.If I had read the entire thread before I posted I would have realized this thread was 3 years old and Villa Market did not even exist then.

[Guest fountainhall]

If I had read the entire thread before I posted I would have realized this thread was 3 years old

 

My fault! I know there was a thread about Thai logic that is more recent, but could not find it. Hence my use of this rather ancient one.

[Guest pingalicker]

The best example of "Thai Logic" I have personally expiernced: My Thai bf and I were at the boxing stadium in Pattaya where we always purchase ring side tickets from the hottest cutest friendliest "vendor" there. I always give the boy some baht so he can get his own snacks etc. He gets up saying "going to toilet" and disappears. He returns over an hour later. I had searched everywhere for him. I had asked him earlier if he would talk to the hot vendor for me and invite him back to hotel room. He said sure "Everything for sale in Pattaya", but I decided to hold off on that. Well, in my searching I can't find the vendor anywhere either. My boy likes to surprise me, which I enjoy, and I'm thinking did he talk to the vendor and did it go bad? Where in the hell is he? We had planned a night out. When he did return, sits down next to me and smiles. I asked where were you? He said he forgot his Thai ID and had to go back to apartment to get it. When pressed where he really was all he would say over and over "you farang, I Thai, not same same". Mmmmmm. He never would tell me where he went, but I always made sure he had his ID with him when I picked him up.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

It sounds like he had a quickie with the vendor.