New Member treated shabily

[Guest kjun12]

Recently I talked my roommate into joining this forum. He posted a question about the owner of another forum. Scooby (whoever that is) closed the thread and threatened the poster. While I am a bit defensive of my friend, I think this over-reaction is in poor taste and should have been handled differently. Is there a list of do(s) and don't(s) about posting on this forum?

[TotallyOz]

Welcome to your roommate. I hope he enjoys the site.

 

I assume the post you are referring to is about Gaybutton? I read the post. I agree with Scooby. This forum is about this forum and not other forum owners. Is that a hard concept to grasp? If your roommate has an issue with Gaybutton, why doesn't he take it up with Gaybutton himself? Why bring it over to this site? Is there another motive? Is there more to the story?

 

Threatened? What was the threat? Tell us more. Inquiring minds want to know.

[dapitt]

What was the threat?

Scooby said - "Warning given to poster". Sounds like a 'threat' of possible further action to me. The original poster asked, "What is he (Gaybutton) really like?" You could have answered with a listing of all his wonderful qualities. I agree with khun12. Poorly handled, at the least.

 

"Welcome to your roommate. I hope he enjoys the site", you offer. It's doubtful he will, I'd say.

[Bob]

I don't agree that the so-called warning was a "threat" nor do I believe there's any basis to say Scooby treated anybody "shabbily." Somebody's blowing this out of proportion.

 

Secondly....and importantly.....did you happen to read the one sentence that read: "He certainly seems to be (name calling and personal attacks removed by admin)....?" Now, none of us know what was said there but I've never seen Scooby over-react or grossly mischaracterize anything, i.e., I trust that Scooby fairly described what he deleted.

 

I thought Scooby handled it rather politely. And I also believe (and have argued elsewhere for years) that using any internet board to gossip about or attack another message board is silly and even a bit cowardly (if you want to criticize a board, board owner, or moderator, have the balls to do it there).

[dapitt]

(if you want to criticize a board, board owner, or moderator, have the balls to do it there)

Oh, a number have tried but the famous fist falls frequently with ferocity making what you suggest not possible.

[TotallyOz]

Scooby said - "Warning given to poster". Sounds like a 'threat' of possible further action to me.

 

That is the threat? I guess I am getting too old as I read that as a wake up call for the poster.

 

I reread all this posters comments. 2 out of 10 were personal attacks. 2 out of 10 had to be edited by a Moderator or Admin. IMHO, the words "warning given to poster" was very polite and calm.

 

Some people get their panties in a wad over the smallest of things. Perhaps they don't have a great deal in their life to get upset about and so they concentrate on the little things. I am not saying this is the case in this instance. But, come on. If you have 2 out of 10 posts edited by board overseers, the words warning given are the least bit offensive I could think of.

 

Kjun: please tell us what thread you were referring to if the above is not it.

[TotallyOz]

Oh, a number have tried but the famous fist falls frequently with ferocity making what you suggest not possible.

 

If that is the case, leave the board and post other places. You don't need to read one board that gets you upset and keep going back for more. There are plenty of other boards out there. But, I agree with Bob, criticize him on his board or in PM's to him or in an e-mail to him (all are public knowledge) but don't bright the fight over here.

[Guest voldemar]

I agree with Bob. Above mentioned member not only started absolutely unappropriated thread

but in another thread on IMF he offended me and Scooby removed this offense.

This message board is gaining momentum and this is precisely the time where various doubious characters will try to join in and destroy the board. I remember that Rich LB

at one point raised an issue about a possible niche for this one. It is shaping up

(mostly due to posters like fountain hall, z909, Bob, Michael and many others) as a place where people with different views can discuss important and frequently difficult issues in intelligent manner. Let us keep it this way.

[Bob]

Hopefully, all of us (including myself) won't let this incident blow up into something it isn't or to even use the thread to hurl some slings at some other board or board owner you don't like. Life's a little too short for that in my view.

[Guest kjun12]

To Michael, Bob and Voldemar:

 

I guess I should have not even come to the defense of my friend. At least, that is the way you seem to think. But, oh my, you certainly come to the defense of Scooby. My friend is new to posting. I asked if there are any posting rules but none of you answered that. He asked a question and made some observations that seem to have offended some of you. Both of us accept that. It just seems that Scooby could have been more light handed in what he did and said. My friend told me he sent a private message to Scooby but did not even receive a reply. So be it. He is, apparently, in charge. Please let this issue be over and move on.

[TotallyOz]

Kjun: I appreciate your response.

 

The posts in question seem to be less than 24 hours ago. Did you want Scooby to answer immediately? When was the e-mail sent to him? If you expect a 2 hour response from anyone on most sites, you are dreaming.

 

However, if things work the way they use to work, I am sure your friend's letter is being discussed by the admin and moderators. That is not an instant thing. Give them time to answer him and please don't get upset when a response to an e-mail is not instant. It just isn't always possible to do that for most people, including myself. I have so many e-mails in my inbox that replying instantly to all but take my entire day. There are to many gogo bars for me to enjoy and I have to prioritize.

[Gaybutton]

Please let this issue be over and move on.

Well, how about that? Now I'm the subject of further controversy on this board too. Name calling and personal attacks. I'm delighted to see that is what you are defending and that you convinced your roommate to join this board so he could start launching unprovoked personal attacks.

 

You say your roommate was treated shabbily. Now let me see if I have this correct: He came to this board, someone with whom I have never communicated in any way, someone who has never attempted to communicate with me in any way, posted name calling and attacks, but he's being treated shabbily for having done that. Care to comment about how shabbily he treated me?

 

There's a very simple way to end the "issue," if it is actually an issue at all, and for your roommate who suddenly appeared out of the blue to name call and attack - with what provocation I don't know - to satisfy himself about what I am really like. All he has to do is meet me personally and judge for himself. I'll probably turn out to be far worse than he ever thought. That ought to make his day . . .

 

As for that list of do(s) and don't(s) you can't seem to find, click here: http://www.gaythailand.com/forums/index.php?app=forums&module=extras&section=boardrules

[TotallyOz]

I'm delighted to see that is what you are defending and that you convinced your roommate to join this board so he could start launching unprovoked personal attacks.

 

Don't make assumptions. You may assume this but you don't know.

[Gaybutton]

I assume the post you are referring to is about Gaybutton?

 

Don't make assumptions. You may assume this but you don't know.

[TotallyOz]

There was no over reaction. One member made 2 posts that were inappropriate. I deleted the offending remarks. I then put him on Moderated Status and told him that would be in place until he can show us that he is going to be a good contributor to the site. He is still free to post on the forum should he decide to do so. However, his posts are moderated until they are reviewed by a Moderator and approved.

 

This board is not the place to bring up issues on other boards. Please respect that. You may disagree with this but it is the way it is going to be.

 

I rarely answer someone back instantly. Give me 48 hours before you start to complain that I am ignoring you. When that time frame is passed, then feel free to make a post on this board about how I am ignoring you. No need to ask your roommate or friend to make the post. No need to make the post on another board. Keep it simple and make the post yourself and state how I should have answered you sooner.

[TotallyOz]

Don't make assumptions. You may assume this but you don't know.

 

I was not really making an assumption. I knew the answer to my question as a fact. You didn't. You guessed. I used logic to determine my answer. Invite me to dinner sometime and I'll teach you logic.

[Bob]

My friend is new to posting. I asked if there are any posting rules but none of you answered that. He asked a question and made some observations that seem to have offended some of you.

 

New to posting? He's probably a nice guy but he indicated that he's lurked here or elsewhere and he took the time to repeat some (perhaps) unfriendly remarks about another board owner. That much was obvious.

 

I didn't see you ask about board rules or I would have replied (actually, I'm sure there around here somewhere but I actually haven't read them).

 

Offended? Nah. And I hope your friend doesn't see any of the comments as an objection to him at all. It was just the topic that I didn't like a bit. I hope your friend continues to post here.

[Gaybutton]

I used logic to determine my answer. Invite me to dinner sometime and I'll teach you logic.

Wouldn't I be better off learning logic from Mr. Spock . . . ?

[TotallyOz]

Wouldn't I be better off learning logic from Mr. Spock . . . ?

 

[Guest]

The person concerned wrote TWO posts which required moderation.

 

One was criticism of another board owner, who is also well respected on this forum.

 

The other post was a personal attack on another party. That's also against the rules.

 

We're here to facilitate civilised debate between adults. I don't quite understand why people should expect to break the rules on personal attacks & have their posts remain on the forum. Enforcing the rules does not amount to shabby treatment.

[Guest voldemar]

I read the posting rules again and found them pretty reasonable. This is a private website and Administration is definitely entitled to impose various constraints on topics etc. What is important is not the rules itself but consistency in their implementation and here I give very high marks to moderators. Of course, if the rules change according to owner mood (e.g. not enough "positivity" or such nonsense), then it is completely different ballgame and I personally do not participate in such bs. This is, of course, totally abstract remark and I have no any concrete message board in mind (as they say all

similarities are absolutely accidental).

In discussion of contentious issues the rule of thumb is pretty simple: in your response address the issue not a poster. E.g. if you do not like Sarah Palin, try to explain why. The response that the poster watching too much of Fox News may or may not be violation of any particular rule but is not helpful to meaningful discussion...

[Guest fountainhall]

The ‘Message Centre Policies’ are marked quite clearly at the top of the Board (although I admit it took me years to realise that)! But the fact they are there does mean that failure to read and participate in accordance with the regulations is, I’d suggest, rather the same as claiming ignorance of the law as a defense, however unfortunate that might be in any one case.

 

a number have tried but the famous fist falls frequently with ferocity making what you suggest not possible

I think that is not a fair comment. As GB himself has said both on this Board and elsewhere, he has come in for a great deal of stick over the years, much of it from, shall we say, ‘parties with an agenda’. I have always found he has been far more likely to delete comments made about other posters than about himself.

 

In discussion of contentious issues the rule of thumb is pretty simple: in your response address the issue not a poster. E.g. if you do not like Sarah Palin, try to explain why. The response that the poster watching too much of Fox News may or may not be violation of any particular rule but is not helpful to meaningful discussion...

That, in my view, is one of the major benefits of this site –posts which mostly develop the thread of a discussion rather than one-line agreements/disagreements or supposedly ‘clever’ (i.e. read 'childish') put-downs of a poster.

 

I do hope that kjun12 will talk again with his friend and persuade him to keep contributing with that in mind.

[Guest Steve1903]

Hi all. Many moons since I've visited the forum and way way too long since my last visit to LOS. Not quite sure what the essence of this thread is all about but I would like to say this.

Before my first visit to Pattaya I made a few posts asking if anyone would like to meet me some time during my trip and fill me in with do's and dont's, best places to go etc.

The one guy who did so was Gaybutton. Couldn't have been more helpful or friendly and went way beyond anything I'd have expected a stranger to do. Never once asked for anything in return and made my vacation a lot easier and more enjoyable than it would otherwise have been. Thanks again GB.

[Guest xiandarkthorne]

Hi all. Many moons since I've visited the forum and way way too long since my last visit to LOS. Not quite sure what the essence of this thread is all about but I would like to say this.

Before my first visit to Pattaya I made a few posts asking if anyone would like to meet me some time during my trip and fill me in with do's and dont's, best places to go etc.

The one guy who did so was Gaybutton. Couldn't have been more helpful or friendly and went way beyond anything I'd have expected a stranger to do. Never once asked for anything in return and made my vacation a lot easier and more enjoyable than it would otherwise have been. Thanks again GB.

 

I agree about GB being very different when not dealing with trolls on the forum boards. I have never met him in person but he was kind enough to offer to meet me the one time I was sure I could make it to Pattaya (I had to cancel as, sadly, a last minute writing assignment came up).

 

And for the record, I still want to meet GB when I manage to come to Pattaya. Of course, being Chinese and Malaysian, I'll have to bring him a present...maybe I'll go to one of those free publishing websites and have a calendar made with my own naughty pictures to bring him! I love gag gifts...I just hope GB does, too.

[Gaybutton]

I love gag gifts...I just hope GB does, too.

Thank you very much Steve1903 and xiandarkthorne. It's very nice to see posts like yours for a change instead of the usual "I hate GB" posts.

 

xiandarkthorne, what makes you believe I would think a photo of you would be a gag gift? I already have plans to have it framed and placed with my beloved nude photos of Ernest Borgnine and Doodles Weaver. I've been trying to get Michael (formerly GT) to pose for one, but so far he insists I don't deserve to be so intensely aroused . . .