The last confession of the lonely gay man

[Guest voldemar]

I reprint it from "Zerohedge.com". Any thoughts?

From Mark's letter:

 

To the unemployed, sick, disabled and poor:

 

 

Hello,

 

I'm unemployed over two years now, a 99er without any benefits for three months. I followed Unemployed Friends almost from its start, never posted until now, but am grateful for my time with you all. I did as asked with calls and e-mails, etc. I've a confession to make to you all. I'm a criminal.

 

I've obeyed the 10 commandments and all laws except: I'm unemployed and that's now a crime, I'm poor and that's a crime, I'm worthless surplus population and that's a crime, I'm a main street American Citizen born and raised in the USA and that's now a crime, and I'm euthanizing myself as I write this note -- so arrest my corpse. This isn't a call for help, the deed is done, it's not what I wanted. Death is my best available option. It's not just that my bank account is $4, that I've not eaten in a week, not because hunger pangs are agonizing (I'm a wimp), not because I live in physical and mental anguish, not because the landlady is banging on the door non-stop and I face eviction, not that Congress and President have sent a strong message they no longer help the unemployed. It's because I'm a law abiding though worthless, long-term unemployed older man who is surplus population. Had I used my college education to rip people off and steal from the elderly, poor, disabled and main street Americans I would be wearing different shoes now -- a petty king. Hard work, honesty, loving kindness, charity and mercy, and becoming unemployed and destitute unable to pay your bills are all considered foolishness and high crimes in America now. Whereas stealing and lying and cheating and being greedy to excess and destroying the fabric of America is rewarded and protected -- even making such people petty king and petty queens among us.

 

Since the end of 2008, when corporate America began enjoying the resumption of growth, profits have swelled from an annualized pace of $995 billion to the current $1.66 trillion as of the end of September 2010. Over the same period, the number of non-farm jobs counted by the Labor Department has slipped from 13.4 million to 13 million -- there is no recovery for the unemployed and main street. We taxpayers have handed trillions of dollars to the same bank and insurance industry that started our economic disaster with its reckless gambling. We bailed out General Motors. We distributed tax cuts to businesses that were supposed to use this lubrication to expand and hire. For our dollars, we have been rewarded with starvation, homelessness and a plague of fear -- a testament to post-national capitalism.

 

Twelve years ago, I lost the last of my family. Ten years ago, I lost the love of my life, couldn't even visit him in the hospital because gays have no rights. I fought through and grieved and went on as best I could. Seven years ago, I was diagnosed with Diabetes and Stage 2 high blood pressure with various complications including kidney problems, mild heart failure, Diabetic Retinopathy. These conditions are debilitating and painful. I am on over eight prescribed medications, which is very difficult without insurance and income. But I struggled on and my primary caregiver was very pleased with my effort overtime with my A1C at seven. Still these physical disabilities have progressively worsened, and I have had a harder and harder time functioning in basic ways. All the while, I give thanks to God because I know there are many more worse off than me -- and I tried to help by giving money to charities and smiling at people who looked down and sharing what little I had.

 

I am college educated and worked 35 years in management, receiving written references and praise from every boss for whom I worked. Yet, after thousands of resumes, applications, e-mails, phone calls, and drop ins, I've failed to get a job even at McDonalds. I've discovered there are three strikes against me -- most 99ers will understand. Strike one -- businesses are not hiring long-term unemployed -- in fact many job ads now underline "the unemployed need not apply." Strike two -- I am almost 60 years old. Employers prefer hiring younger workers who demand less and are better pack mules. Strike three -- for every job opening I've applied, there are over 300 applicants according to each business who allow a follow up call. With the U3 unemployment holding steady at 9.6percent and U6 at 17 percent for the past 18 months, the chances of me or any 99er landing a job is less than winning the Mega Million Jackpot. On top of that, even the most conservative economists admit unemployment will not start to fall before 2012 and most predict up to seven years of this crap.

 

I believe the Congress and President have no intention of really aiding the unemployed -- due to various political reasons and their total removal from the suffering of most Americans, their cold-hearted, self-serving natures. Had they really wanted to help us, they could have used unspent stimulus monies or cut foolish costs like the failed wars or foreign aid, and farm subsidies. The unspent stimulus money alone cold have taken care of ALL unemployed persons for five years or until the unemployment rate reached 7 percent if Congress and the President really wanted to help us -- and not string us all along with a meager safety net that fails every few months. In any case, if I were to survive homelessness (would be like winning the mega-millions) and with those three strikes against me, in seven more years, I'll be near 70 with the new retirement age at 70 -- now who will hire an old homeless guy out of work for nine years with just a few years until retirement?

 

So, here I am. Long term unemployed, older man, with chronic health problems, now totally broke, hungry, facing eviction. My landlady should really be an advocate for the unemployed -- she bangs on my door demanding I take action. A phone call and a "please" are not enough for her -- she is angry. She is right to be angry with me, I am unemployed -- as apparently everyone is now angry with us unemployed.

 

Two hundred and eleven and social services cannot help single men. Food banks and other charities are unable to help any more folks -- they are overwhelmed with the poor in this nation. So I have the "freedom" to be homeless and destitute and "pursue happiness" in garbage cans and then die -- yay for America huh? It's the end of November and cold. A diabetic homeless older person will experience amputations in the winter months. So I will be raiding garbage cans for food, as my body literally falls apart, a foot here, a finger there. I have experienced and even worked with pain from my diseases -- hardship I can face. I just cannot muster the courage to slowly die in agony and humiliation in the gutter.

 

I have no family, I have no friends. For the past two years, I've had nobody to talk with as people who knew me react to the "unemployed" label as if it were leprosy and contagious. I am not a bad person, in fact people really like me. But everyone seems to be on a tight budget these days and living in incredible fear. It is hopeless since we all are hearing more and more that we unemployed are to blame for unemployment, that we are just lazy, that we are no good, that we are sinners, that we are druggies, yet we are the victims who suffer and are punished while the robber baron banksters and tycoons become senators, congress, presidents and petty kings. So the only option left for me is merciful self euthanasia.

 

It is with a heavy heart that I have set my death in motion, but what I am facing is not living. So off I go, I have made peace with God and placed my burden on Jesus and He forgives me. This nation has become evil to the core, with cold-hearted politicians and tycoons squeezing what little Main Street Americans have left. It is not the America into which I was born -- the land of the free and the home of the brave with kind folks who help neighbors -- it is now land of the Tycoon-haves and the rest of us have-nots who march into hopelessness and despair.

 

Every unemployed person I have met over these past two years have been saintly. Sharing what little they have, and being charitable -- being kind and patient and supportive. Isn't it amazing that we Americans who suffer so much, have not taken to the streets in violence, riots or gotten out the guillotines and marched on tycoons and Washington in revolt as would happen in most other nations? But rather we plead with deaf politicians to please help us. We don't demand huge sums -- just 300 bucks a week, barely enough to cover housing for most. Most of all we say, please help us get a job, please allow us dignity.

 

I can't help but juxtapose our plight to the tycoons and politicians. They are never satisfied with their enormous wealth, and always want more millions no matter whom it hurts. They STEAL from pension funds, banks, the people and government, and little Wall Street investors. Then rather than face punishment, they become petty kings in this world. They are disloyal to America, unpatriotic, and serve their own foreign UN-American greedy causes and demand more and more and more. I feel that this is not the nation into which I was born. I was born in America, the land of the free and the home of the brave. America, where people give as much as they receive. America, where all people work for the common good, and try to leave a better and more prosperous nation for the next generation. America, where people help their neighbors and show charity and mercy. This new America is alien to me -- it is an America of greed and corruption and avarice and mean spirited selfishness and hatred of the common good -- it is an America of savage beasts roaring and tearing at the weak, and bullying the humble and peacemakers and poor and those without means to defend themselves. I am not welcome here anymore. I don't belong here anymore. It's as if some evil beast controls government, the economy, and our lives now.

 

I must go now, my home is someplace else. Goodbye and God bless you all. God bless the unemployed and poor and elderly and disabled. God bless America and the American people except the tycoons and politicians -- may God retain the sins of tycoons and politicians and phony preachers and send them to the Devil.

 

Mark

[KhorTose]

How in the hell are you suppose to comment on something like this? Yes, it is very sad, but what he is doing is punishing all of us by writing this letter and then killing himself. Sorry, this is not my kind of man. Committing suicide is a form of cowardliness. Long before i would take my own life, I would try everything legal and then work on the illegal. If no one else would feed me or provide me with health care, I would make the penal system do it for me. As long as I live there is hope, and if I go out it will be kicking and screaming, and not crying and blaming the whole world.

[Guest fountainhall]

Whilst life is obviously hugely difficult for many Americans as a result of the recession which is still biting hard, I agree with KhorTose. There are a billion or more people on this planet who are arguably worse off. Yet, they struggle on from day to day, some in the belief that life will get better eventually, the majority probably believing that this is their lot in life. They don't want to die. As KhorTose says, "as long as I live, there is hope."

 

I also believe to a large extent that each of us has it in our power to battle the obstacles we are faced with. So - also to a large extent - we create our own reality. I note Mark says in his letter he is suffering from "Diabetes and Stage 2 high blood pressure with various complications including kidney problems, mild heart failure, Diabetic Retinopathy." I am no doctor, but that sounds suspiciously like he is considerably overweight, and the chances must be high that he paid little attention to his weight and medical condition earlier when life was not so tough (that, I accept, is an arbitrary judgement made solely on the basis of insufficient evidence - but you get my drift).

 

Where I do agree with him is in this comment -

 

I can't help but juxtapose our plight to the tycoons and politicians. They are never satisfied with their enormous wealth, and always want more millions no matter whom it hurts. They STEAL from pension funds, banks, the people and government, and little Wall Street investors. Then rather than face punishment, they become petty kings in this world.

We all know it was primarily greed that virtually drove the world into an economic sinkhole. As has been said in another thread, the bankers and those who caused the mess deserve to be locked up in jail for a long time. They and their cronies in the UK, Switzerland and other parts of the world, caused huge hardship to many hundreds of millions

[Guest Thor69]

What a sad story! The saying that "failure to plan is a plan to fail" holds true. As a single gay man you must realize at a young age that you need to plan for your future. Living anywhere with out a proper bank roll is going to be difficult!

[Bob]

Sorry, it doesn't add up to me for a whole lot of reasons. He's about 60 and worked in management for 35 years (hmmm...since he was maybe 25?) and he's totally broke? Makes no sense to me.

 

And he's totally disabled? If so, he's entitled to social security disability (and that's not chickenfeed).

 

And, of course, he expresses suicide thoughts which ought to provide some insight into his mental stability.

 

Sounds like a twisted and sick political polemic to me. Everything is everybody else' fault (or, in reverse, he's not responsible at all for any part of the situation in which he allegedly finds himself (assuming any of it's true in the first place). I'm not buying.

[Jason1988]

If you've worked in management in the USA you have contributed to a 401K or an IRA pension plan. Many employers match your contribution so it is easy to have $200,000-$500,000 by age 60.

 

If the gentleman is disabled there are social security programs that will pay a monthly stipend that is far more than unemployment compensation. Also, being mentally unstable he could qualify for an SSI disability that is very close to his monthly social security payment.

 

Add that to getting food stamps, etc. (which is now a debit card) and he is far from being in the dire straights he is claiming.

 

This sounds like a "feel sorry for me" story and I'm not buying it!

[Guest voldemar]

Since two people "do not buy" the story, let me respond. First, if one believes that the story is true, then checking for disability benefits would be a nobrainer. It is quite natural to assume that it was done and "Mark" did not qualify. Second, I do not see any signs of "mental instability". Finding oneself in desperate situation, may lead to the idea of suicide (have some compassion for the god sake). For me, the only "red flag" in the story was lack of savings. But one can assume that he lost his investments in 2008 crash as many others did (and here he correctly blames both bankers and government).

Finally, if you, guys, do not buy, he is not trying to sell anything. His immediate suggestion (of extending benefits beyond 99 weeks for all unemployed) will hardly find any support among vast majority of Americans.

There is absolutely no doubt that Mark belongs to the category of Americans who really suffered during the crisis, find themselves in impossible circumstances and have nowhere to turn to. Government response was clumsy waste of a lot of money, abused by many who

"gamed" the system and really not that helpful to those who are in real need.

[Bob]

Finally, if you, guys, do not buy, he is not trying to sell anything.

 

Somebody's trying to sell a bill of goods here in my opinion and I simply don't believe it for the reasons listed. You can, of course, but I don't.

 

You say he could have lost his savings in the 2008 crash. Sure, a fair number of people lost 40-50% but I don't know anybody that lost 100% or anywhere near that. His claiming to be in middle management for 35 years and now saying he only has $4.00 left is astoundingly unbelievable to me.

 

And I read it again and I note the writer first states:

 

"I am almost 60 years old."

 

and then later says:

 

"in seven more years, I'll be near 70 with the new retirement age at 70"

 

First, if somebody is going to spin a yarn, that somebody might want to at least try to keep the story internally consistent. He didn't as, unless there's a time warp involved here, one can't be "almost 60" and 63 at the asme time. And:

 

(a) He says he's physicaly disabled. Well, if that's true (I'm doubtful) he can get social security disabiility and, as Jason points out, it's a fair amount of money (I believe around $2,000.00 per month).

 

(B) Or, if you want to buy that he's 63, like he later said in his "story", then he can elect to take social security benefits right now (he could have elected to do it last year when he turned 62, just like I did). And, if he was in middle management for 35 years, he'd get $1,800+ per month (or $21,600+ per year).

 

There are enough other inconsistencies to make this all seem like a political polemic (railing at the government for all one's woes). For another example only, he suggests he can't get his full social security retirement benefits until he's 70. That (presuming you believe he's either 59 or 63 - take your pick) is flatly untrue. He gets his full (100%) social security payment at age 66 (anybody born between 1943 and 1954 gets the same treatment) And, as I noted, he can get less (80% at age 63) if he simply tells them he wants it now.

 

If he's telling you inconsistent things (his age) in the same story or saying things that you can demonstrate are false, there's no sense believing any of it in my view.

 

P.S. Everybody in the US gets their full (100%) of social security when they reach 67 years of age. There is talk of extending that age to 70 (for younger americans - it won't apply to anybody about 50 or older) but so far it's only talk so far.

[Guest voldemar]

Come on, Bob. He is saying , he is almost 60 and in seven more years he will be almost seventy I do not see any contradiction here. In seven more years he would be 67 (if he is still alive) which is close to 70, the new (proposed) retirement age (with full benefits).

He describes his medical conditions in detail. It is quite possible that he does not qualify for disability payments. I do not quite understand how you calculated his social security payments: it is based on his cumulative contributions which depends on his salary and he never mentions his salary (Jason numbers are purely hypothetical). The bottom line is that he is not qualified for any form of social security until he is 62 and as a man around 60 he is hardly employable at the moment. One can presume that he qualifies for medicaid (as very poor) and, indeed, he mentions that he gets some medical care but ,of course, not for medicare. You see, people of his age are the most vulnerable if they loose their jobs and have no savings: they are hardly employable at the moment, do not qualify for social security and qualify for medical care only if they are extremely poor or disabled.

I also do not understand how can you quantify the losses during the crisis: it depends on types of investment, timing and many other things.

What I find quite interesting (and it is unrelated to Bob posts) is that quite periodically one can see campaigns on gay message boards related to another little whore who got HIV (most probably as a result of shopping trip from Isan to Cambodia on long distance farang "boy friend" money and unprotected sex with local female prostitute over there) with loud demand of world-wide support (by the way, I see it as purely Pattaya feel good phenomenon) and the very same group of people shows absolute indifference to the fate of guy who do deserve compassion (and, by the way, not asking for anything).

[Bob]

.....quite periodically one can see campaigns on gay message boards related to another little whore who got HIV ....

 

You're derailing your own thread and in a rather nasty little fashion too. Up to you.

 

As to the original post, people who read it hopefully will see the inconsistencies and inaccuracies noted and then make their own judgment as to its likely accuracy. You're vouching for it apparently whereas I find it very unlikely to be substantially true. Mai bpen rai, we all have different views of what's credible.

[Guest fountainhall]

I have had my doubts about some earlier longish reports about people and places. And I know that Bob, voldemar and others have sometimes disagreed with mine. The reason I enjoy this Board is that we can have disagreements about detail and accuracy, sometimes strong ones, but we mostly do so in a reasonable and reasoned manner. In the absence of absolute proof, that's really all we can do.