Guest catawampuscat Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 Every Thai boy I know or have known has been contacting me in last few days for baht.. I don't even want to answer my phone.. Ending a relationship here doesn't mean ending the financial assistance, at least not to the boys.. One has been calling almost daily and yesterday finally dropped the other shoe and wanted to borrow more baht for the last time..I told him the last time was the last time but short memories are common when it involves money, especally borrowing.. Borrowing means paying back one day , so the word is misused by the boys but it saves face, I guess.. Even saying no doesn't stop another request coming a few weeks later and it must work on some farangs or they wouldn't keep doing it.. I relented and sent some to one old flame but he probably did have some food but it is hard to be heartless, especially if one looks back on the good times.. what's love got to do with it?? Quote
Gaybutton Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 You made the reason clear within your post when you said you relented with one of the boys and gave him some money. They have nothing to lose by trying. Most likely the reason why you are suddenly being inundated is because they have to come up with their rent money or lose their room. Many share a 2500 baht to 3000 baht room with two to four other boys and they still can't come up with the rent. Part of their survival system includes helping each other out when one or two have some money and the others don't. I see nothing wrong with helping boys you know personally when the need arises. Some people think they spend their money on discos and karaokes and send the rest home to their parents, and some do, but for a great many of these boys, their lives consist of nothing more than going to work in the bars, coming home and going to sleep, and then doing nothing much other than sitting around or hitting the beaches trying to find "farang" until it's time to go to work again. That's their life. Some people are also under the impression that these boys are taken "off" every night, so there is no reason why they shouldn't have some money. But that is not usually the case. Most of them average two or three "offs" per month unless they have an unusually lucky month. Even then, there are "farang" out there who try to get away with tipping them as little as possible, so they still often end up with next to nothing even when they do get taken "off" because of people like that. In any case, if a boy asks for money you might ask him what he needs it for. If he says he can't pay his rent (or at least his share of the rent), then if you want to make sure the money is used for the purpose you are being told, you can offer to come over to his apartment and pay them directly. That way, if you are willing to "lend" the money, you'll at least know it was used for a positive purpose. In the instances when I've helped boys that's the sort of thing I'll do. First, I want to know what the money is to be used for. Second, I want to know why they boy doesn't have enough money on his own. Third, I won't "lend" it unless I can personally verify that the money is going to be used for a legitimate purpose. I do not give in to the sick grandmother or dead water buffalo routines even if I know they are telling the truth. I won't help them take care of family problems, but if it involves a boy I know and like, and I also believe his story, then I don't mind helping once in a while if I can. I also make it clear that I'll help only the one time. After that, he's on his own. Quote
Guest Hedda Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 I also make it clear that I'll help only the one time. After that, he's on his own. I do the same thing, GB, but it usually takes 8 more loans before I finally turn my phone off. Quote
Gaybutton Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 I do the same thing, GB, but it usually takes 8 more loans before I finally turn my phone off. Ha ha ha . . . . I know just what you mean, Hedda. With some boys, I think it's more appropriate to answer a phone call with "Tao-rai" instead of "Hello." "Tao-rai" means "how much?" I have one "farang" friend who actually carries two mobile phones. One holds the phone number for his friends. The other is for the number he gives to the Thai boys. His reasoning is obvious, although a little extreme. Nevertheless, that's how he deals with it. But even then some of the boys don't take no answer for an answer. Quote
Guest namjai Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Well, GB. as you know, my bf calls me "Grandfather Water Buffalo", so if he asks you for money...PLEASE REMIT! SOON! Quote
JayBee Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Last year, a young Thai asked me for 10k baht, saying he could repay it the following month. I told him he could have it if he'd repay 5k when he promised to. The next month, without being asked, he repaid the 5k. I never asked for the other 5k, since my purpose was just to see if he'd actually repay anything. Needless to say, I was impressed that he did. Quote
Guest poseidon41 Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 I have had a friend for the last 6 years from changrai. He has never once asked me for money. I think thailand is an absolute dream compared to Arab countries , where the boys just NEVER stop asking for things or money. I love those macho Arab types , and they are cheaper than thailand , but it Quote
