Etiquette when texting

[unicorn]

There have been a number of times when I'm texting someone, and I invite him to an event, and it's silence. Rather than say "I'll check my calendar when I get home. I'll get back to you at 4," or something, it's no response. I must confess that I find that rather irritating. What's your experience? If you receive an invitation by text, do you usually respond to the invitation right away (even if it's to say you don't know yet), or, if you haven't decided, do you just go blank--pretending you didn't see the text or whatever? Or do others do that to you? I mean, my calendar is right on my phone, so for me it's not rocket science to figure out if I can come or not (assuming I'm not driving--I have hands-free texting), but at least I can text back and say I'll get back to you later. To make it clear, I'm talking about people I've been actively texting, who just stop the conversation when I extend the invitation--not an invitation text I send out of the blue, when I understand the person may be unable to respond due to a meal, movie, or business meeting.

One time, I offered a friend, who needs money, to dog-sit our pooches while we went on vacation (for compensation). He just stopped texting when I sent the invitation, so I invited another friend who promptly accepted. The first friend texted the next day to say he'd love to do it, but I'd already offered the job to the 2nd friend. I told the first friend that I would have loved for him to do it, but someone had to take care of our dogs, so I invited the other friend. The first friend apologized said he was just "distracted" the prior day. I just don't understand that behavior. Or am I being unreasonable?

[Olddaddy]

I guess it depends on when you text

I had a work colleague text me the other day and I was on the treadmill at the gym .

But...I did answer after 30 minutes to his reply that I took too long to reply.

Obviously if someone is at work you can't expect a reply immediately 

I have a friend who is a train driver I can't expect him to answer if he wants to have dinner tonight unless he stops the 🚆 so I expect within the few hours on his break 

But that first guy you texted should of answered within a few hours  unless he was driving a train or bus or at work job where he can't ,  obviously it wasn't that important to him to answer the next day !

[Moses]

The success of instant messengers, and texting in general, is precisely that, unlike phone calls, the user can answer when it is convenient for him, and the texting format itself does not imply an immediate response.

When I send messages, I do not wait for a response - the correspondent will answer when he has time. If I need an immediate answer, then I call. And if I need a specific "yes" answer, then I call by video - it is harder to refuse in person than by text.

[Olddaddy]

58 minutes ago, Moses said:

The success of instant messengers, and texting in general, is precisely that, unlike phone calls, the user can answer when it is convenient for him, and the texting format itself does not imply an immediate response.

When I send messages, I do not wait for a response - the correspondent will answer when he has time. If I need an immediate answer, then I call. And if I need a specific "yes" answer, then I call by video - it is harder to refuse in person than by text.

Would the text be in the Russian language?

 

[Keithambrose]

15 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

Would the text be in the Russian language?

 

Interestingly,  a recent poll of young people said that 30% never answer phone calls. The reason seems to be that they don't really know how to communicate  by voice. I also read that some media companies  are now running classes to teach their employees to use the phone! The companies  included journalists. Seems madness to me....

[Moses]

35 minutes ago, Keithambrose said:

Interestingly,  a recent poll of young people said that 30% never answer phone calls. The reason seems to be that they don't really know how to communicate  by voice.

The real reason is: too much scam and spam, because calls are very cheap now, not like $5 per minute in 90s.

I also never pick up phone calls from unknown numbers, my phone even doesn't ring in such cases - such calls are answered by my AI assistant (simple rule: caller isn't in my phone book). AI talks with caller and sorts calls for me and records chats, then texts remark to me like "Financial spam" or "Advertisement" or "Call from John Doe about business"). If I'm interesting - I will listen chat and call back lately).

[Olddaddy]

Yes 👍 love it 

[unicorn]

I guess I wasn't clear in my original post. I'm talking about instances in which I'm in the middle of texting someone, back-and-forth, when I suggest an invitation or meeting, and then suddenly the person stops responding. That irritates me. As for simply calling someone out of the blue, I would never call someone without first texting "Is this a good time for me to call?", nor would I respond to a phone call unless someone has first texted me to ask if this is an appropriate time to call. I find it a bit rude to call someone (or be called) without first asking if it's an appropriate time. I only call first when it's a business, and it's their business to answer the phone, or with my nonagenarian step-mother, who seems to be technologically impaired when it comes to texting. She once face-time called me when I was having sex with my fiance. I give her a pass due to her highly advanced age. 

[reader]

17 hours ago, unicorn said:

There have been a number of times when I'm texting someone, and I invite him to an event, and it's silence.

And this surprised you?