What do you do in Pattaya (and elsewhere)?

[Guest RichLB]

Whenever I chat with friends over the internet I am often asked, "But what do you do in Pattaya?" Frankly, I don't know how to answer that question. I know many dedicate their life to a never ending sex hunt, but surely there's more to life than that. So, I'm curious how others fill their days and evenings while in Pattaya.

[Guest Astrrro]

I spend lots of time on the internet.

 

Was out until sunrise last night. Woke up late and loungig around the pool today.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

When I have been asked that question I say, "I am retired."

[PattayaMale]

When I have been asked that question I say, "I am retired."

What is wrong with dedicating one's life to a never ending sex hunt? It is fun!

 

Some people are looking for that perfect guy to spend their life with. Once they have found that guy, life may get a little bland, so they look for a bit of spice.

 

Outside of that though that are many of the same things to do as in your home country. See the latest movies, go to eat with friends, fish, play golf, travel, go to the dentist, go shopping and of course hunt for sex!

 

Today is a typical day for me. Here is what I did morning to late afternoon. Got up, read the paper, made breakfast, checked my emails, walked down to my neighbors house and had a chat, gave my dogs a bath, went shopping for food to put into the crock pot for tonight, went swimming, filled out forms for my Burma visa, watched a hour of TV, went out in the garden and planned where to move the dog house, made plans with some friends to have a small BBQ party later in the week, and then it was about 4pm.

 

So alot too do. I think most people get on a schedule and have a good time.

 

Let me throw this back at RichLB, what did you do today?

[Guest lvdkeyes]

Maybe I misunderstood, but I thought, by the question, the boy wanted to know what kind of job.

 

Absolutely nothing wrong with never ending sex hunt if that's what you want.

[Guest luvthai]

I am a people watcher. Anywhere i go i like to slow down and notice people going about their every day lives. At the beach I watch vendors and familes with children as well as those in the water playing. As i walk the beach area i will slow down and watch familes interacting with their children. I wish I could speak thai as it would open up so much more for me.

The first few trips I have to admit I was a sex tourist but now the sex isn't a driving force. Most nights I go home alone and am up early to start the day all over again.

[Guest MonkeySee]

When I have been asked that question I say, "I am retired."

I say the exact same thing. And I enjoy working at nothing all day!

[Guest beachlover]

When I have been asked that question I say, "I am retired."

I think he meant, "what you spend your days doing in Pattaya?"

 

Some people are looking for that perfect guy to spend their life with.

I wonder if Pattaya is really the ideal place to do that.

 

If you're just looking for sex, fine. But a stable, long term relationship? Is Pattaya the optimal place to find that?

 

It might be easy to find ANY boy... But for the RIGHT boy, I think Pattaya might be one of the worst places in Thailand to look.

 

What's your experience? Success? Continual frustration? Given up?

 

many of the same things to do as in your home country. See the latest movies, go to eat with friends, fish, play golf, travel, go to the dentist, go shopping and of course hunt for sex!

 

Today is a typical day for me. Here is what I did morning to late afternoon. Got up, read the paper, made breakfast, checked my emails, walked down to my neighbors house and had a chat, gave my dogs a bath, went shopping for food to put into the crock pot for tonight, went swimming, filled out forms for my Burma visa, watched a hour of TV, went out in the garden and planned where to move the dog house, made plans with some friends to have a small BBQ party later in the week, and then it was about 4pm.

That might be the kind of thin I'd enjoy doing on a Saturday or Sunday... But does it get boring or purposeless doing this seven days a week?

[Guest]

That might be the kind of thin I'd enjoy doing on a Saturday or Sunday... But does it get boring or purposeless doing this seven days a week?

 

What else are you going to do when you retire?

Socialising, exercising, pottering around in the garden, planning a holiday -that seems like a good range of daytime activities. The only other thing needed is some spicy nightlife in order to beat most lifestyles.

[Guest fountainhall]

What else are you going to do when you retire?

Well, of course we all know beachlover's views on retirement and Thailand -

 

you can't deny there are a lot of retired farang sitting around Sunee, or Thailand in general just vegetating

So better not ask him again!

[Guest beachlover]

What else are you going to do when you retire?

 

I don't think I'll ever retire... Maybe wind back to working 4 days a week, consulting or overseeing a business. But to not have any productive purpose, even if it's just looking after kids/grandkids or running a charity, just seems terribly depressing.

 

I don't know... What about running a website, or helping a charity, or something else productive but not strenuous or limiting to your leisure activities?

 

Maybe if you've spent 40 years working in a job day in day out you dislike, doing nothing appears as an attractive proposition...

 

The only other thing needed is some spicy nightlife in order to beat most lifestyles.

Well, that's true!... Despite the above, it does beat many other retirement lifestyles... vegetating in dull suburbia in the West.

[Guest fountainhall]

But to not have any productive purpose, even if it's just looking after kids/grandkids or running a charity, just seems terribly depressing

Well, you reveal some more insights in to your character. "kids/grandkids"? So you are not gay.

[kokopelli]

When asked what do I do in Thailand, I have learned to keep my mouth shut and never reveal the truth. So just say, eat, drink, sleep and relax. For me, an hour or so at the gym breaks up the middle of the day otherwise I vegatate until the evening begins.

 

And never, never use the word "boys" to describe your close encounters of the third kind.

[Guest beachlover]

Well, you reveal some more insights in to your character. "kids/grandkids"? So you are not gay.

Ok! You got me. I'm not gay. I'm as straight as Bob, the plumber. I like to screw hot chicks and make them fetch me beer. LOL.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

I think he meant, "what you spend your days doing in Pattaya?"

You think that, huh? Then why would my answer to him satisfy his curiosity? Another assumption! We all know what is said about assume.

[Guest RichLB]

Let me answer Beachlover's assertion first. I actually do have a long term relationship with a Thai guy I've lived with for 12+ years and I really did meet him in a gogo bar. Others of my friends are also in long term relationships with Thai guys, but I don't know if they met through a gogo bar or not - I've never asked.

 

Now to PattayaMale's qustion as to what I did today. I'm afraid it was not real exciting to others. I woke up around 9, played on the internet and talked on the phone until around 11:00 when my boyfriend rolled out of bed. Then it was out to breakfast with some friends while Ken (the bf) cooked up his weeds he calls food for his breakfast. When I got home I caught the end of the previous night's US Open Tennis and rechecked email and the forums. Then I thought about doing some writing, or getting gas in the motorcycle, or helping to clean the condo, but opted to luxuriate doing nothing instead. (Mama who had been visiting for 3 weeks just left the day before!!!). Then was the usual round of phone calls while my friends and I set up the night's dinner plan which ended up being at Cherry's. After dinner, the choice was between gong to Corner bar for a capacino with the usual group or heading home for more tennis and cownloaded episodes of Weeds. Weeds won out.

 

I warned you, not the most exciting day, but I'm happy and content.

[Guest MonkeySee]

Well, you reveal some more insights in to your character. "kids/grandkids"? So you are not gay.

You would be surprised how many guys around Pattaya have kids and grandkids. I guess they were straight or bisexual early in life and came out later. Although these are simply labels and labels don't always come in the "one size fits all" category. I enjoy sex with males but I am not very gay.

[Guest]

Maybe if you've spent 40 years working in a job day in day out you dislike, doing nothing appears as an attractive proposition...

 

I'm not old enough to have spent 40 years working in a job, more like 20 at the moment. I'm working hard on outside interests to ensure it does not go past 25 years.

 

Also, the lifestyle described earlier on was not doing NOTHING, rather it resembled an active leisure life.

[Guest MonkeySee]

I don't think I'll ever retire... Maybe wind back to working 4 days a week, consulting or overseeing a business. But to not have any productive purpose, even if it's just looking after kids/grandkids or running a charity, just seems terribly depressing.

 

I don't know... What about running a website, or helping a charity, or something else productive but not strenuous or limiting to your leisure activities?

 

I thought the exact same thing.....I'll never retire. WRONG. I am so glad that I quit the rat race at an early age. Don't get me wrong, I loved aspects of my work but who needs it. Do you really need all those toys, big house and material goods? Now, I keep active and do as I wish.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

I am also glad to be away from the rat race. At one time I supervised up to 60 employees, mostly women. That was the most stressful job I ever had. Just imaging it!

[Guest joseph44]

Obviously, most of the posters are retired; I pass.

[Guest fountainhall]

I wonder if Pattaya is really the ideal place to do that.

If you're just looking for sex, fine. But a stable, long term relationship? Is Pattaya the optimal place to find that?

It might be easy to find ANY boy... But for the RIGHT boy, I think Pattaya might be one of the worst places in Thailand to look.

Yet another bland assertion!

 

For a very pleasant few months about 5 years ago, I had a lovely massage boy at Albury in Bangkok. He had been a gogo boy in Pattaya for some time, before deciding massage was better for him. I liked this guy a lot. I once gave him a little gift which he accepted with modesty and some pleasure. When I later brought him a second gift, he politely suggested we sit and have a drink before the massage. He pointed out that he did have another friend whom he was seeing. He felt I should know that before accepting the gift. I gladly let him keep it.

 

Some months later he left Albury. He continues to live happily in Chiang Mai with his farang lover.

 

So to suggest that Pattaya is "the worst place to look" betrays not only a considerable degree of ignorance, but an equal amount of prejudice. But then, as you have told us, you are not gay, and so you will be referring to the girlie bars for your life's companion. Of these, i have no experience.

[Guest]

Ok! You got me. I'm not gay. I'm as straight as Bob, the plumber. I like to screw hot chicks and make them fetch me beer. LOL.

 

You do? Same. Same. But, I hate beer. How about wine?

 

You would be surprised how many guys around Pattaya have kids and grandkids. I guess they were straight or bisexual early in life and came out later. Although these are simply labels and labels don't always come in the "one size fits all" category. I enjoy sex with males but I am not very gay.

 

I have about 10 really good gay friends in the USA that I have had for over 20 years. 9 of them have kids and grandkids. This is not uncommon. I grew up in a very conservative area. If I had stayed there as opposed to moving to NYC, I would have been expected to get married and have children. All my friends did. When I go back to visit them, some are still married and spend time away in LA at the bathhouses when they can get away. Others are divorced and have a new life. Back then, it was hard to not be able to follow what was expected.

 

I had a fabulous conversation last night with the owners of Oud's. Their love story is fascinating and they have been together for 42 years. Amazing to me. I could not even come out 15 years ago and yet others have been together so long.

 

Most older gay men have great stories about coming out and having sex with women and having kids. I do not think this is uncommon for that generation. Thank goodness that the new generation doesn't have the pressure we placed on generations past.

[Guest fountainhall]

Thank goodness that the new generation doesn't have the pressure we placed on generations past.

Wholeheartedly endorsed. Much of my 20s were lost in a fug of darkness unsure how I should move forward with my personal life. Thank goodness I could lose myself in a job I really loved. Life really started for me when I moved to Asia and I got away from all those pressures. confusions and uncertainties. And when I realise I almost turned down the chance to work in Hong Kong in favour of a job offer in the USA! Glory! Hallelujah!

[Guest YardenUK]

Thank goodness that the new generation doesn't have the pressure we placed on generations past.

 

Sadly, much of the new generation does - even in the west. Sometimes the pressures of your community/family are just as intense as it was for caucasians only a few decades ago. I know of one gay London-born Bangladeshi who is now married with 2 kids, and trust me, this was done not to satisfy his sexuality, but to satisfy his family/community. I dread to think what a messed up/depressed life he will end up living. And, this is London in the 21st century.

 

I also know of some young guys from the Caribbean community in London who have to lead double lives, as coming out as gay would mean rejection and stigmatisation. I have been told it is the same for western-born "gays" from a multitude of ethnic backgrounds - be it Hindu South Asian, Nigerian, Somali etc.

 

So it isn't the new generation as such, it is just the luck of the draw as to which ethnic group you are born into and grow up amongst.

 

We may all live in the 21st century, with the plethora of equalities legislation that exist, but it is still the dark ages for many young gay men growing up today, with the threat of being ostracised and disowned at best, and at the very worst, the fear of being an honour killing victim, which sadly does occasionally happen even in the west.