Finding a real boyfriend

[Olddaddy]

From my experience I don't believe one can find a "real" boyfriend on Thailand 

Maybe I looked the wrong places 

Sometimes I get lonely I would like someone to love and be loved back.

I do believe if I stayed longer in the Philippines I could of found a real boyfriend,I find Filipino much more loving than thais especially the male nurse Filipino guys 

Of course that's my opinion .

You can know if someone genuinely has feelings for you ,sometimes you have to accept that the person you thought you had feelings for was not in reality the person 

I want to find a boyfriend this year .

Can we be alone , I do get lonely being alone 

 

 

 

[a-447]

If you are hoping to find love by associating with moneyboys half your age, I suggest you are looking in the wrong place.

Not that it is impossible, but I think your chances are slim, especially if he is fully financially dependent on you.

At our age, loneliness is not uncommon, which means there are lots of guys of our generation who are looking for a relationship. That's the cohort in which I'd be looking if I wanted a relationship. (I don't).

I live alone and have no interest in getting involved romantically with someone. I have a wide circle of friends so I'm normally not lonely. Sex is of the paid variety with guys much younger then myself.

[reader]

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

I want to find a boyfriend this year .

Can we be alone , I do get lonely being alone 

Maybe if you set your sights on just finding a younger friend. Someone you truly enjoy being with and he with you, sans the sex. Sex you can have with countless guys for money or pleasure. 

Your biggest complaint isn’t that you’re starved for sex. It’s that you’re starved for friendship. That’s what loneliness sounds like.
 

[vinapu]

6 hours ago, a-447 said:

I live alone and have no interest in getting involved romantically with someone. I have a wide circle of friends so I'm normally not lonely. Sex is of the paid variety with guys much younger then myself.

sounds like me

[floridarob]

8 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

I want to find a boyfriend this year .

It's not like shopping for a car or clothes......it happens when it happens, can't be forced.

 

8 hours ago, a-447 said:

At our age, loneliness is not uncommon, which means there are lots of guys of our generation who are looking for a relationship. That's the cohort in which I'd be looking if I wanted a relationship. (I don't).

So many guys that love whoring around while young, realize later they aren't as young or as desirable anymore and want to "settle down", finally, because life can be boring, retired life even more so.

So they expect a 20 or 30 yr old guy that's experiencing his horniest time of his life to settle down with him 🙄

Even if they do find someone "suitable" , the old whore instincts kick in on a whim when given the opportunity and cheat on their relationship, because they think they can be loyal....ha, good luck trying that.

I have a bf for 6 yrs, he wanted a "only us" relationship, I told him he was searching for a pot of gold....even in hetero relationships, men are dogs (some females too). We're meant to breed (or be bred) and go out hunting for sex like animals.

I explained to my bf that people confuse love and sex, two VERY different things. I LOVE pizza and could eat it 28 days a month, but every so often I want Thai food or Mexican food, no sense in depriving those cravings.....took awhile, but he totally gets it. We've traveled together and done 3 ways, went to sex clubs, or in Thailand had our own massages....no jealously and our relationship is so healthy and understanding. He works and manages our business, saves his own money, thanks me for showing him so much and we laugh a lot when people we know have relationship issues because one  got caught cheating on their partner, he says...yup you were right. Love is more than sex, a good sign is that after sex, you BOTH want to be around each other still...not the "I have to go do something, I'll talk to you later" after sex hookup feeling, lol

 

 

2 hours ago, vinapu said:

sounds like me

really?

[caeron]

 

I think a far better course than hoping to find a moneyboy boyfriend is to engage with people. Volunteer. Join groups. Talk to people. This can lead to friendships which help us feel connected to the world around us. 

Not that having a MB boyfriend is a bad thing, just that pretty much all of the time they are with you because you're paying. They may grow to like you over time, but the odds of that turning into genuine love is small. It is far easier to develop genuine love for a friend. You can always find a MB for sex.

I sought my true love in my 20s. It took me a while to realize that the things I wanted were near impossible to find all in one person. My best friend is an ace woman, so we got married. We're super happy as best friends, and I get MBs to scratch that itch. There are lots of ways to connect to the people around you. Explore them.

I think the idea of the 'one true love' fucks up a lot of people's ability to see the love that is right in front of them.

 

[gayinpattaya]

4 hours ago, floridarob said:

I have a bf for 6 yrs, he wanted a "only us" relationship, I told him he was searching for a pot of gold....even in hetero relationships, men are dogs (some females too). We're meant to breed (or be bred) and go out hunting for sex like animals.

I explained to my bf that people confuse love and sex, two VERY different things. I LOVE pizza and could eat it 28 days a month, but every so often I want Thai food or Mexican food, no sense in depriving those cravings.....took awhile, but he totally gets it. We've traveled together and done 3 ways, went to sex clubs, or in Thailand had our own massages....no jealously and our relationship is so healthy and understanding. He works and manages our business, saves his own money, thanks me for showing him so much and we laugh a lot when people we know have relationship issues because one  got caught cheating on their partner, he says...yup you were right. Love is more than sex, a good sign is that after sex, you BOTH want to be around each other still...not the "I have to go do something, I'll talk to you later" after sex hookup feeling, lol

I really hate agreeing with you lol

[floridarob]

4 hours ago, gayinpattaya said:

I really hate agreeing with you lol

I could see that you replied while I was scrolling, I was already thinking of a smart ass comment , then you say something nice and ruin it all 😝

[a-447]

When I returned to live in Australia I left all my friends behind in Japan.

Suddenly I found myself totally alone, having no family or relatives here. Life-long friendships are normally formed with those with whom you went through school /university and, of course, I didn't have anyone here. I was in total despair and desperate for company and found myself constantly flying back to Japan just to meet up with friends. 

In Japan one of my hobbies was car racing. After I bought my first car here I immediately joined a car club and it was here that I made my first friends. We'd go on drives together and participate in various club events and car rallies and races, I then bought another car and subsequently joined their car club and made even more friends. 

Through these new friends I was introduced to other activities and my circle of friends expanded expeditiously. I now do a lot of volunteer work so have a new group of friends.

So the answer to lonliness is, as Caeron said, getting involved. If you don't have a hobby, find one and then join a club dedicated to that hobby. Volunteering would be an easy way to start meeting people.

But you have to be proactive and get off your bum and make the first move. Friends won't come to you; you have to make an effort.

 

[Mavica]

Relationships are frequently economically related - particularly so the older we get. Living in Mexico in my 40's, I fucked / sucked some beauties, and many said they'd be my lover / boyfriend/ partner if only I'd pay for them to finish medical, dental, law school or other schooling, provide monthly financial support, etc., etc.  So very tempting.   Who knows what would have happened if I followed that route. Gay, or straight, you financially pay ... something for the relationship.  I failed to take advantage of so many opportunities in my lifetime, and now I'm approaching 75 - living alone.  Not unhappy, though.  But I do miss a long-term relationship.  Then again, most of my lovers from the 1980's perished from HIV/AIDS.  Pay me now, or pay me later.

[kokopelli3]

Soon as you become "friends" with a boy, you will take on his responsibilities such as money and health care and a host of others. I know having had a bf for 24 years plus some other "friends". If you are wealthy then no problems but otherwise big problems. Only way to avoid problems is to not have a boyfriend. Although I know a few farang, with money, why have  long term boyfriends  and are satisfied.

[t0oL1]

We are much richer having/after having had a nice Thai friend, even for pay. 

 

[Ruthrieston]

I was first introduced to Thailand and Pattaya when I was 39, 26 years ago. My flat mate of several years in London and a group of his friends all travelled together. My flat mate had AIDS and was really not well, but so enjoyed embarrassing me by dragging me into the go go bars where young gentlemen flashed their hard willies in my face, and he laughed his head off when I blushed so much my glasses steamed up! We got back to London in mid May and he died in July. 

After travelling to Thailand twice a year for several years for great holidays I fell for a bar boy, brought him to visit me in London for a month and the following year brought him to London and we entered our Civil Partnership in Chelsea Town Hall Registry Office, with all my friends attending and throwing a party for us. That was in December, and the following year in August he said he missed Thailand too much and he flew back home and I never saw him again. 

When I retired twelve years ago and moved to live in Pattaya I promised myself I would never fall in love again, and I lasted over a year, enjoying lots of fun with many money boys. Then I fell again, but this time I knew it was one sided, and of course I couldn't expect a young man half my age to live with me, so I payed for his room, and supported him while also encouraging him to work, as he did as a receptionist in a hotel. It lasted over six years until I found out he was gambling a lot. I payed his debts three times and then broke off our relationship. His last message to me was to ask for 50,000 Baht....... Broke my heart, so I am living alone and happy now with friends and a comfortable life. 

[bkkmfj2648]

10 minutes ago, Ruthrieston said:

After travelling to Thailand twice a year for several years for great holidays I fell for a bar boy, brought him to visit me in London for a month and the following year brought him to London and we entered our Civil Partnership in Chelsea Town Hall Registry Office, with all my friends attending and throwing a party for us. That was in December, and the following year in August he said he missed Thailand too much and he flew back home and I never saw him again. 

Wow.  I am sorry that this happened to you.

Often when I meet the local guys here in Pattaya, they often want to know when am I going to go back home to faranglandia.  I always ask why?  They reply, because they want me to bring them with me and they often get disappointed when I tell them that Thailand is now my home.

[reader]

The cliche “you can take the boy out of Thailand (fee free to substitute any country) but you can’t take Thailand out of the boy” seems to apply here. 

Observe Thai—or ASEAN generally—boys gather to eat, drink or just hang out. They are very affectionate with one another and enjoy themselves immensely. Some may succeed in emigrating to another county by various means but they will forever be drawn emotionally to their homeland.

As we follow this thread from the beginning, I’m again reminded of something I believe Floridarob mentioned in a post a while back about the difference between love and sex, and the importance of not equating the two. 

in my 22 years of visiting Thailand, I’ve come to know quite a few guys outside the bars and massage shops. I truly enjoy their friendship and envy their relationships with their peers. That has granted me insight into the boundaries of these associations as they pertain to me. 

I know I can’t take Thailand home with me but I also know that I’ll be returning as long as I’m able.

[Olddaddy]

On 6/30/2024 at 3:58 AM, t0oL1 said:

We are much richer having/after having had a nice Thai friend, even for pay. 

 

I wouldn't go that far 😉

 

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, reader said:

The cliche “you can take the boy out of Thailand (fee free to substitute any country) but you can’t take Thailand out of the boy” seems to apply here. 

Observe Thai—or ASEAN generally—boys gather to eat, drink or just hang out. They are very affectionate with one another and enjoy themselves immensely. Some may succeed in emigrating to another county by various means but they will forever be drawn emotionally to their homeland.

As we follow this thread from the beginning, I’m again reminded of something I believe Floridarob mentioned in a post a while back about the difference between love and sex, and the importance of not equating the two. 

in my 22 years of visiting Thailand, I’ve come to know quite a few guys outside the bars and massage shops. I truly enjoy their friendship and envy their relationships with their peers. That has granted me insight into the boundaries of these associations as they pertain to me. 

I know I can’t take Thailand home with me but I also know that I’ll be returning as long as I’m able.

You can broaden your guys in friends not money boys by visiting othrr countries eg Philippines 

[Olddaddy]

2 hours ago, Ruthrieston said:

I was first introduced to Thailand and Pattaya when I was 39, 26 years ago. My flat mate of several years in London and a group of his friends all travelled together. My flat mate had AIDS and was really not well, but so enjoyed embarrassing me by dragging me into the go go bars where young gentlemen flashed their hard willies in my face, and he laughed his head off when I blushed so much my glasses steamed up! We got back to London in mid May and he died in July. 

After travelling to Thailand twice a year for several years for great holidays I fell for a bar boy, brought him to visit me in London for a month and the following year brought him to London and we entered our Civil Partnership in Chelsea Town Hall Registry Office, with all my friends attending and throwing a party for us. That was in December, and the following year in August he said he missed Thailand too much and he flew back home and I never saw him again. 

When I retired twelve years ago and moved to live in Pattaya I promised myself I would never fall in love again, and I lasted over a year, enjoying lots of fun with many money boys. Then I fell again, but this time I knew it was one sided, and of course I couldn't expect a young man half my age to live with me, so I payed for his room, and supported him while also encouraging him to work, as he did as a receptionist in a hotel. It lasted over six years until I found out he was gambling a lot. I payed his debts three times and then broke off our relationship. His last message to me was to ask for 50,000 Baht....... Broke my heart, so I am living alone and happy now with friends and a comfortable life. 

And did you ever see your ex husband again ??

[Keithambrose]

4 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

And did you ever see your ex husband again ??

He said he never saw him again. 

[reader]

11 minutes ago, Keithambrose said:

He said he never saw him again. 

Olddaddy is practicing for next debate. 🙂

[Olddaddy]

25 minutes ago, Keithambrose said:

He said he never saw him again. 

That maybe the case ..but now I need to know where he is ,it's got me puzzled

[Moses]

On 6/28/2024 at 9:45 PM, floridarob said:

it happens when it happens, can't be forced

But may be stimulated by to be in right place at right time

On 6/28/2024 at 9:45 PM, floridarob said:

love and sex, two VERY different things. I LOVE pizza and could eat it 28 days a month, but every so often I want Thai food or Mexican food, no sense in depriving those cravings

exactly! but 20 years ago I told to my husband about apples and bananas