Indicators of success

[Marc308]

From a Wordpress post: "You can choose and choose and get the perfect Greek God but looks provide no guarantee of a good time in the room."

This observation has haunted me for some time. What really are the predictors of a nice time? We've all, I'm sure, had a quota of duds, and also our quota of surprising successes when expectations were low. I'd appreciate your comments on this. Here are some of my observations -- well it seems to be more of what is NOT correlated than what is:

1. The Greek God ("ain't I gorgeous-type") is likely to fail. I've found the best are those simpler guys who seemingly don't realize how gorgeous/masculine they really are.

[Marc308]

Oops, got cut off...

2. Repeat performances are much more likely to fail. Perhaps one's expectations run too high, or perhaps it is boredom (I've seen this movie before) or ...? Of course perhaps passion can persist, for a week, for a month, for a year, even forever (I've been with my bf for over 30 years!) but in general the likelihood of failure is greater.

3. The more early conversation turns to protracted price negotiations, the more fraught the encounter is likely to be. High fees usually correlate to low performance.

4. Language fluency is not a measure of success.

What do you think?
Marc

[floridarob]

agree

[vaughn]

I've had my fair share of both duds and passionate encounters, but it's always a gamble.

Some guys will almost throw themselves at you in the bar then turn to a pillow princess in the room and seem almost disinterested, while some are shy and coy in the bar then turn out to seem like they haven't seen a dick in years and want every moment they can get with you.

My biggest initial tell is the smile and eye contact, it's much like in a sauna where you're judging in a split second by whether they look away or give you 'the look'.

For overnight LT or days of LLT all about personality and motivation, if they're only there for some extra baht you'll probably have a bored and unenthusiastic guy. If you have good chemistry with a desire to enjoy their time it will feel like you're in a relationship and known each other for years. Never take a guy away to the islands if you haven't spent time outside of the bars with them already, it's too risky imo.

Language barrier is definitely a factor for me, I've never spent more than a night with a guy i can't have a conversation with in english. 

I don't find age to be a determining factor, maybe for long term relationships it is, i'm just out of a (non-MB) relationship with 13 year age gap and we were great together. eventually it failed because we wanted different short term goals i guess.

Hobbies can be a big one on trips, if you like to do outdoor activities and he doesn't, it can be like trying to drag a buffalo that complains on every step around town.

[floridarob]

2 hours ago, vaughn said:

i'm just out of a (non-MB) relationship with 13 year age gap and we were great together. eventually it failed because we wanted different short term goals i guess.

how long were you together and did you live together?

[vaughn]

2 hours ago, floridarob said:

how long were you together and did you live together?

6 months, we lived in separate countries but travelled back and forth frequently. We had known each other for a couple of years and travelled together a lot before we got more serious in Dec/Jan. I don't want to go into too much detail, but we didn't work out and i walked away. back to my old ways

[reader]

6 hours ago, Marc308 said:

The Greek God ("ain't I gorgeous-type") is likely to fail. I've found the best are those simpler guys who seemingly don't realize how gorgeous/masculine they really are.

Selected a guy from a massage shop tablet last night. Wasn’t the most handsome of the many offerings, but it was a combination of his masculinity and simplicity. After he arrived he used his phone translator to tell me we had met before at different Saphan Kwai shop over a year ago. He must have had good recall of the first time because he was already very much at ease. For the lack of a better word, it was a reunion of sorts and throughly enjoyable. 

Nothing wrong with chasing the bright light. I find myself doing it on occasion. But uncovering hidden gems can be equally rewarding—and satisfying.

 

[vinapu]

7 hours ago, Marc308 said:

1. The Greek God ("ain't I gorgeous-type") is likely to fail. I've found the best are those simpler guys who seemingly don't realize how gorgeous/masculine they really are.

7 hours ago, Marc308 said:

2. Repeat performances are much more likely to fail. Perhaps one's expectations run too high, or perhaps it is boredom (I've seen this movie before) or ...? Of course perhaps passion can persist, for a week, for a month, for a year, even forever (I've been with my bf for over 30 years!) but in general the likelihood of failure is greater.

3. The more early conversation turns to protracted price negotiations, the more fraught the encounter is likely to be. High fees usually correlate to low performance.

4. Language fluency is not a measure of success.

 

I like your post but generally speaking disagree to a certain degree with all 4 counts based on my experience spanning 30+ trips over 23 years

1/  sometimes Greek Gods are like you describe , at other times even if they know their value they still appreciate business and money and doing their best .

Mediocre guys are the same , some are grateful they were chosen, others combine mediocre looks with mediocre performance

2/ I found that 2 out 3 times  repeated performance is better than first time although after  half dozen times most of them  are showing signs of complacency or boredom. Mercifully not all of them

3/  if negotiations are protracted it's our fault , we should not allow it. Way I handle that is if boy quotes too high I counteroffer and then it's his choice to take it or see you next time. If he is asking me how much I gave him then I quote and again , take or leave.

as for correlations of fees with performance my experience is opposite, exceptions apply and many of those but still generally I'm better satisfied with better paid encounters

4/ I found I like better meetings when boy speaks at least a bit of English, perhaps because I usually off long time so there always will be some time to talk.

[floridarob]

3 hours ago, vaughn said:

we lived in separate countries but travelled back and forth frequently

Living together is the real test....imagine people together 10, 20 30+ years 😬

 

traveling with just friends can really test a friendship.... like @vinapu and the other board member experienced, sounds like it went well. I've been lucky with travel partners, but I have  a couple of friends I'd never travel with again 😱

[vaughn]

24 minutes ago, floridarob said:

Living together is the real test....imagine people together 10, 20 30+ years 😬

 

traveling with just friends can really test a friendship.... like @vinapu and the other board member experienced, sounds like it went well. I've been lucky with travel partners, but I have  a couple of friends I'd never travel with again 😱

Moving was a discussion we were having, glad it didn't work out early and not after one of us moving to another country.

Travel buddies is a risky business, i can imagine it would be worrying for MBs that go away with guys when they could end up stranded if things go south. 

[Keithambrose]

5 hours ago, vaughn said:

6 months, we lived in separate countries but travelled back and forth frequently. We had known each other for a couple of years and travelled together a lot before we got more serious in Dec/Jan. I don't want to go into too much detail, but we didn't work out and i walked away. back to my old ways

Distance is interesting.  I have a friend, 70, who lives in Cologne. His partner lives in Holland.  They have been together 36 years, so it seems to work for them. They meet regular,  holiday together regularly, etc. Works for some people.

[Tomtravel]

Distance could be even the reason for a successful relationship! The meetings are somehow new, exciting; like a travel to BKK😀. I know a couple (60y, 29y; the younger one is the succesful and wealthy) who live so 9 years! They both live in the EU neighbouring countries.

[ichigo]

9 hours ago, reader said:

Nothing wrong with chasing the bright light. I find myself doing it on occasion. But uncovering hidden gems can be equally rewarding—and satisfying.

+1

[Londoner]

Tomtravel's comment certainly accords with my experience. P's life as a farmer and mine as a retired man whose interests in London are cultural and political have plenty enough in common to make our three annual meetings more than  successful.

I would not wish  him to lose his  farm , not to mention his contacts with family, his four dogs and his Buddhist life-style; nor would I welcome living in such an isolated environment.  A third of the year together works fine for us.

[Marc308]

17 hours ago, reader said:

He must have had good recall

Boys' memories are amazing! I think they can (genuinely) recall us far better than we can recall them. Not sure why but it really does seem the case. Which probably means details of our encounters (for good or bad) are also easily recalled. :0

[vinapu]

2 hours ago, Marc308 said:

Boys' memories are amazing! I think they can (genuinely) recall us far better than we can recall them. Not sure why but it really does seem the case. Which probably means details of our encounters (for good or bad) are also easily recalled. :0

yes but that is generally the case of everybody working with many people. I was surprised when meeting teachers  20 years after leaving school and they remembered in what bench I used to sit and with whom.

Not only they will remember detail of encounters but also how much we tipped them last time which may hurt our standing on repeat.

But they are not superhumans and sometimes  forget us faster than we wish specially if we meet them  outside the scene. Once while taking haircut I saw guy year before was my guest at now defunct BBBInn for good 12 hours, at the time my longest off ever. Being gentleman I waited outside of shop just to greet him. When I asked if he remembers me his suspended answer was " yes , you were my English teacher ?".

One of motorsai drivers usually parked on Silom between sois 2 and 4 always seeing me claims I offed him few times when he was working at Tawan, certainly not  a case .

[vinapu]

I should add to the above that even if boys remember a lot about us and encounters we can count on their discretion. 

Over years I met many boys who know that their other customer is my friend, often because recommendations they were aware of and still they never mention anything.

I recall two exceptions, hardly indiscretions. One was comment ' you snore like your friend X " , other was more revealing '' you more romantic, your friend likes go to bed right away", hardly indiscretion though. all of my forum friend like to go to bed, that's safe bet and timing has little  relevance. I know about comment about me, again hardly sensational " I like your friend, he likes boys long time".

I recall also one upsetting case when I recommended massage boy to our member and he showed him some pictures of his clients. All decent and fully dressed but still our member hated it and if I recall well, cut encounter short. 

[floridarob]

4 hours ago, vinapu said:

I was surprised when meeting teachers  20 years after leaving school and they remembered in what bench I used to sit and with whom.

Not only they will remember detail of encounters but also how much we tipped them last time

I never tipped a teacher, is that a custom where you grew up ?

[Keithambrose]

5 hours ago, floridarob said:

I never tipped a teacher, is that a custom where you grew up ?

Must have been an interesting  school!

[Keithambrose]

6 hours ago, vinapu said:

I should add to the above that even if boys remember a lot about us and encounters we can count on their discretion. 

Over years I met many boys who know that their other customer is my friend, often because recommendations they were aware of and still they never mention anything.

I recall two exceptions, hardly indiscretions. One was comment ' you snore like your friend X " , other was more revealing '' you more romantic, your friend likes go to bed right away", hardly indiscretion though. all of my forum friend like to go to bed, that's safe bet and timing has little  relevance. I know about comment about me, again hardly sensational " I like your friend, he likes boys long time".

I recall also one upsetting case when I recommended massage boy to our member and he showed him some pictures of his clients. All decent and fully dressed but still our member hated it and if I recall well, cut encounter short. 

My tutor at University,  now 90, says he he can remember the names of all the people he taught.  Not as many as you might think, as at Oxford, he only taught people in his/my college, 9 in a year, and stopped teaching when he became a Professor.  Even so,that is hundreds of people. 

[Londoner]

This sounds outlandish, but I once had a drink in a short-lived bar called Four Seasons in Boyztown. And I didn't off anyone.

Twelve, yes twelve, years later, I was in Chiang Mai when I was approached by a stranger who said he recognised me from his time as mamasan at Four Seasons.

[vinapu]

11 hours ago, floridarob said:

I never tipped a teacher, is that a custom where you grew up ?

don't make fun of my English, I can swear in 7 languages.

on merit I agree I could phrase it better, no,  post was not about tipping teacher

[jason1975]

1 hour ago, Londoner said:

This sounds outlandish, but I once had a drink in a short-lived bar called Four Seasons in Boyztown. And I didn't off anyone.

Twelve, yes twelve, years later, I was in Chiang Mai when I was approached by a stranger who said he recognised me from his time as mamasan at Four Seasons.

I was approached on the road one night by a guy walking in my opposite direction. He was with his group of friends.

"Hello, how are you? Nice to see you!" he said cheerfully.

I couldn't recognise him but I smiled back out of politeness.

Later, I realise that I had gone to his massage shop. I had gotten a massage from his friend and he was there at same time. I didn't remember him but he remembered me!

[Keithambrose]

20 hours ago, jason1975 said:

I was approached on the road one night by a guy walking in my opposite direction. He was with his group of friends.

"Hello, how are you? Nice to see you!" he said cheerfully.

I couldn't recognise him but I smiled back out of politeness.

Later, I realise that I had gone to his massage shop. I had gotten a massage from his friend and he was there at same time. I didn't remember him but he remembered me!

Pretty good!