efuddlements - I Don't Get Its

[Guest RichLB]

Living here, there are many items for an I Don't Get It list. I don't want to provide a thread for a bitch fest or pet peeves, but truly "I Don't Get It". Let me start off with a couple.

 

+ I've noticed that most magazines sold at stores have covers written entirely in English. Similarly, UBC magazine presents headlines for synopses of upcoming shows in English. But, the content of both is in Thai. What's the point of that? Thais aren't going to be attracted to a medium whose cover they can't read and farang aren't gong to understand what any of the stories are about.

 

+ I've also been mystified why cities, corporations, and even small businesses don't take the time to have their printed promotions and menus written in English proofread by an English speaking person. Some of those signs are expensive and printing fancy menus isn't cheap either. Surely spending another couple hundred baht to make sure they are properly written would make sense. What's the reason for the resistance? (Let's hear it for French Fried and No Trees Passing signes!)

[Gaybutton]

I'm not going to rehash all the items on my own "I Don't Get It" list, but in keeping with what you wrote, I've seen billboards on the roads that advertise in English, but the location for what is being sold is written in Thai. I've also seen billboards on which nothing is said about where it is sold at all; English, Thai, or anything else.

 

I've also seen ads for promotions at Tuk Com, most often telephones, but nothing is said about which of the seven billion mobile phone outlets in there is running the promotion. If it's all of them, wouldn't it make sense to say so?

[Guest painai]

I believe most of the promotions are available at a special booth on the dates that they run the specials.

[Guest xiandarkthorne]

Living here, there are many items for an I Don't Get It list.

 

1. I've noticed that most magazines sold at stores have covers written entirely in English..But, the content of both is in Thai. What's the point of that?

 

2. I've also been mystified why cities, corporations, and even small businesses don't take the time to have their printed promotions and menus written in English proofread by an English speaking person.

 

Concerning No. 1, it's the same all over Asia. Quite simply, if it has a bit of English, it's supposed to show that tha magazine/periodical/flyer (or whatever) has got 'class'.

 

Where No. 2 is concerned, it's usually either one of two things. They either assume that anyone who speaks English properly is going to charge an arm and a leg for proofreading so they'd rather hope that no one'll notice and save the money OR they had someone who 'speaks English' write the copy for them and said 'English speaker' assumes that he/she can't be wrong.

 

I used to work as a 4* and 5* hotel PR manager and believe me, you'd be surprised at how many Asians I've met, who've graduated from England/America/Australia and automatically assume that they 'spik en lite Inglis' properly.

[Guest painai]

dupe posting.

[Guest joseph44]

To give an idea about prices for signs and business cards:

* 100 full color business cards: THB 300

* a sign attached to a building or a pylon 240 x 90 cm with TL-lights (2 sides readable) in full color: THB 9000

* company clothes (t-shirts, polo's or otherwise) front printing: THB 300 for the case and THB 40 per print; back printing THB 400 for the case and THB 50 per print.

 

No, I don't have a print shop, but I recently investigated these things.

 

So, not very expensive at all (for us); but most important is: As long as the message is understood, it's ok!!

[Guest gay_grampa]

 

+ I've also been mystified why cities, corporations, and even small businesses don't take the time to have their printed promotions and menus written in English proofread by an English speaking person. Some of those signs are expensive and printing fancy menus isn't cheap either. Surely spending another couple hundred baht to make sure they are properly written would make sense. What's the reason for the resistance? (Let's hear it for French Fried and No Trees Passing signes!)

 

It's also a question of 'Face' for the person who wrote the original.

 

Many years ago I knew someone who worked as the in-house English teacher for a large Bangkok company with hundreds of employees. This company had it's 30th Anniversary coming up and they planned to have one of those glossy handout magazines that often come as part of the Nation and Bangkok Post.

 

The original articles in the magazine were written in English by the company Managing Director and some of the other managers and then sent to the English teacher for proof reading. He spent several hours correcting the proofs then returned them.

 

When the magazine came out it was full of grammatical and spelling errors. He asked one of the managers what happened. It appears that the Managing director did not take kindly to having his 'excellent' English corrected by a lowly native English speaker and promptly re-corrected everything and had it sent to the printers.

[Guest]

Concerning No. 1, it's the same all over Asia. Quite simply, if it has a bit of English, it's supposed to show that tha magazine/periodical/flyer (or whatever) has got 'class'.

 

Exactly.

Products & services dreamed up in most Asian countries will have the brand name written in Roman characters & it will probably be an English brand name, even if the product is only to be sold in that country. Seems to be fashionable.

 

Here is a Korean example.

 

 

And one from Japan.

[Gaybutton]

It's not Thai, but this one has always been one of my favorites:

 

[Guest Doug]

My pet peeve is the lack of English advertising or announcements for many events around Pattaya. It's usually from a Thai boy (1 hour before the event) that I learn of the major Issan Concert on 3rd Road, or the rock&roll band contest down Jomtien Beach or the longboat races at the reservoir. I read the weekly English newspapers but rare see event information except or reports after the fact. This is supposed to be a major tourist town but so often the large banners stretched across roads are only in Thai.

[Gaybutton]

My pet peeve is the lack of English advertising or announcements for many events around Pattaya.

That's a very good "I Don't Get It." I never thought of that before, but you're right. Very often I hear about these things after the event has already occurred. And where do I hear about them? From the English language media. Almost never before, but invariably after. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong place.

 

Of course, in my case I want to hear about most of these events in advance not to go to them, but so I can be sure to avoid them (and the traffic nightmares that usually are part of them).

[ChristianPFC]

Here is your expensive sign without proofreading (near Sunee Plaza on 30.06.2010). Actually, I quite enjoy these mistakes. If you read it aloud, it sounds correct.

[Bob]

That's a very good "I Don't Get It." I never thought of that before, but you're right. Very often I hear about these things after the event has already occurred. And where do I hear about them? From the English language media. Almost never before, but invariably after. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong place.

 

I've griped repeatedly about that in Chiangmai. There's no concerted effort or central location for falang to find out what's going on around town (although I've found some relevant info on the "Events" tab of the CityNow website on occasion - although most of that is written in Thai). More often than not, I find events by accidentally walking into them or, on occasion, seeing a poster written in Thai that I can read enough of to ask a Thai to verify its meaning. Other than that, I usually read about what already happened in the Chiangmai Mail.

[Gaybutton]

Proofreading by a native English speaker? What for?

 

[Guest xiandarkthorne]

Looks like an advertisement for a really kinky place that's taking exfoliation to it's ultimate conclusion - flaying! I wonder if they use flencing knives...

 

Regarding Gay-Grampa's post, I know exactly what he means. I was once asked to proofread the brochure for a Penang clan house's very expensive tourist brochure. They'd had it written by a local professor who has a Doctorate in English. To put it kindly, the entire three-page document was unintelligible...but they removed all my corrections and went ahead and printed it as it was originally because they were afraid of offending the highly learned gentleman. They weren't worried about offending me because I am only a lowly author with no academic credentials.

 

Xian

 

PS

I love the cock soup advertisement.

[Guest fountainhall]

They'd had it written by a local professor who has a Doctorate in English. To put it kindly, the entire three-page document was unintelligible...but they removed all my corrections and went ahead and printed it as it was originally

I've had the same thing here in Thailand. I was asked to correct the English in an article for a book which had been written by civil servants on behalf of a government minister. I sent the copy back duly rewritten in my best English. The civil servants rejected it. Because the Minister had actually signed off on the original, they all became terrified of tampering with it. So the Minister comes across as being virtually illiterate for all the world to see. Of course, perhaps he was illiterate . . .

[Gaybutton]

I love the cock soup advertisement.

Quality since 1922 . . . I sure wouldn't want any cock soup that wasn't quality cock soup. I'm particular about that kind of quality. I wonder if it was quality before 1922 . . .

 

Looks like an advertisement for a really kinky place that's taking exfoliation to it's ultimate conclusion - flaying! I wonder if they use flencing knives...

Unfortunately they are now out of business. This salon used to be located on Pattaya Tai, just outside of Center Condo. But they're gone. I was sorry to see them go. I never got the chance to have them fumigate the steam. One of life's major regrets . . .

 

Another PS: Speaking of things that need translating, anyone besides me remember Crayola Crayons? One of the happy moments of my childhood was when I finally convinced my parents to get me that really large box. I remember one of the colors that kind of intrigued me . . . Raw Umber. I never did figure out just what that was supposed to be. I never used it. I didn't have any idea what umber was and I still don't, but I felt it shouldn't be raw. It ought to have been at least medium rare, but they didn't have any Medium Rare Umber. By the way, purple was always my favorite color to eat . . .

[Guest gay_grampa]

Quality since 1922 . . . I sure wouldn't want any cock soup that wasn't quality cock soup. I'm particular about that kind of quality. I wonder if it was quality before 1922 . . .

Not Thai but maybe related ...

 

[Gaybutton]

Not Thai but maybe related

That's the best one yet! Can't wait to try it. The scariest part is it apparently is real! I wonder if fresh tastes better than canned. It's probably more expensive if your soup is made strictly from pedigree and served accompanied by a nice plate of lightly sauteed rat's asshole.

 

Do you realize somebody had to be the first person to come up with the idea of making soup out of dog penises? Waste not, want not I always say.

 

I wonder how many dogs ended up making the ultimate sacrifice and went to that big fire hydrant in the sky to give their all for this delicious sounding gourmet delight. Maybe some of those dogs are still alive, but now barking in a higher voice. You know those lost dog ads that appear every so often? Well, wonder where they went . . .

 

Hey, I've got a great idea for the next time one of the bars hosts a free buffet.

 

A Google search turned up the following:

 

"Time to celebrate! We decided to go for dinner and eat something different...

 

Kenny took us to a restaurant that served dog, which we ate along with other meats that we cooked on our table in a bowl of boiling water. This was a local restaurant - cheap and basic - which brewed its own beer on site. Jim tried the beer and confirmed that it tasted as though it had passed through the dog on its way to us. Dog isn't a very good meat - they serve it with the skin on and there's lots of fat and gristle, but no hair, so they presumably shave it first! One more thing caught Kenny's eye on the menu - he didn't even want to suggest it at first: Dog Penis Soup.

 

The world contains two types of people - those who, when confronted with Dog Penis Soup, will try it, and those who won't. Actually there's probably a third type - those who would have a hissy fit and storm out of the restaurant - but they don't count because they have no balls. I have eaten the dog penis and, let me tell you, there's a reason that fellatio isn't really a big thing in the dog world. It's rubbery and kind of tasteless. Thankfully it was chunks, and not a whole dick. I'm not sure even I could have pulled back the skin and eaten that. Apparently it's supposed to make you strong. You know, "strong". Down there.

 

The rest of the meal passed without further surprise and I returned to my hotel room alone, and never did discover if I would be "stronger" than usual. I suffered no ill effects from the soup, although I had to turn around three times before I got into bed, and I'm still resisting an urge to lick my own balls...."

 

Mr Bison's Journal: Dog Penis Soup

[Guest lvdkeyes]

To digress about dog's penises - There were two gay men walking together. The came upon a dog that was licking his balls. One guy said, "Geeze, I wish I could do that." The other one said, "Go ahead, he doesn't look vicious to me."

[Gaybutton]

To digress about dog's penises - There were two gay men walking together. The came upon a dog that was licking his balls.

George Carlin said, "If I could do that, I'd never leave the house."

 

By the way, do you think the dog penis soup would go well with balut?

[Guest lvdkeyes]

I am not going to try either, so it is irrelevant to me.

[Gaybutton]

I am not going to try either, so it is irrelevant to me.

I don't know. To me it sounds like just the thing for someone who happens to be catering a formal affair for the Addams Family.

 

If these are the kinds of foods you get in restaurants, I don't even want to try to imagine what is given to prisoners.

[Guest xiandarkthorne]

By the way, do you think the dog penis soup would go well with balut?

 

No. It isn't as tasty as tiger penis - or a bull's, and it has to be boiled for hours with ginger, herbs, wine and roots (which don't go with unhatched chicks) before it can be eaten, anyway.

 

I think we Chinese were the first to consider dog's penis (among other equally interesting items) a medicinal delicacy but I undertand the Koreans also eat it. From the description of the dish in your other post, I suspect the guy was taken to a Korean restaurant.

 

That's not how we Chinese would eat any part of the dog. We certainly wouldn't eat it with the fur on - or before it had been boiled to a succulent tenderness.

 

Besides, it's better for black magic anyway. You're not supposed to eat it yourself. You're supposed to dry it, grind it into powder and then quietly feed it to whomever you want to be under your thumb forever. The best ones come from all-black dogs, just as the best way to break the charm is with all-black dogs' blood. And virgin is preferable, too!

[Bob]

Besides, it's better for black magic anyway. You're not supposed to eat it yourself. You're supposed to dry it, grind it into powder and then quietly feed it to whomever you want to be under your thumb forever.

 

I've just updated my "things to do list" for my continuing retirement in Chiangmai: Watch out for wily Chinese surreptitiously trying to feed me powdered puppy penis.