Tip or no tip

[Guest fountainhall]

An example of what I often do is to offer to take the boy swimming at Pattaya Park. Most love doing that. To make it fun for all, I always tell them they can invite two or three friends, and they almost always do. Everyone has a wonderful time and there is never so much as a hint for additional money.

That's a great idea, especially having a group of friends. But then you know they will enjoy it beforehand and so it is not quite the same, in my view. Inviting a guy who may not speak your language well to join you for lunch with a cuisine that he may not especially like and then to a non-Thai movie which he might - or might not - enjoy is, I suggest, not quite the same. To me that's not dating, because the essence of dating is surely to do one's best to give the guy a good time. In this case, he's giving you the good time because you want his company.

 

The thread was started with the question -

 

If I invite a bar/money boy to an afternoon movie should I tip and how much would be appropriate?

Let’s say we meet around 1pm-2pm for a lunch and movie letting him go around 6pm so that he has time to go back to his room to shower and get ready to go to work and no sex is involved, what if anything would be an expected tip?

I still think there should be a tip.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

To me, lunch and a movie constitutes a date. Bar boys work in the sex industry to make money selling sex. They all eat and most enjoy a movie.

[Gaybutton]

Inviting a guy who may not speak your language well to join you for lunch with a cuisine that he may not especially like and then to a non-Thai movie which he might - or might not - enjoy is, I suggest, not quite the same.

Why are you assuming that's the way it will be? What's wrong with letting the boy pick where to eat? Or if you're going to pick it, at least go to a restaurant that serves Thai food as well as farang food.

 

What's wrong with letting him pick the movie? As long as it has English subtitles, if it's a Thai movie, what's the problem? It it's a non-Thai movie, it's going to have Thai subtitles and if it's an action movie, he's going to like it.

 

For years after 'Titanic' the Thai boys were still talking about how much they liked it. Now they're talking about 'Avatar.'

 

However, if you still think there should be a tip, by all means feel free to give him one.

[Jason1988]

I agree with RichLB and strangely enough I don't feel the least bit ashamed. And what's wrong with debating about it for an eternity?

 

Congratulations!

Finally, you've come to your senses! ;-P

 

Seriously, there is no right or wrong answer. It depends on the circumstances and the people involved.

Everyone has different expectations and as long as everyone is satisfied with the outcome, everything is good.

 

It has been in my experience, that many young men will not accept money from you if you've given them a nice time out.

 

There are guys looking for a serious friendship or the possibility of a relationship and they don't want money to complicate things. Of course, after a few dates, they may tell you that there is a funeral back home or the water buffalo has finally kicked the bucket. So, then you're expected to ante up.

[Guest tdperhs]

Try this:

Go to the Corner Bar at Sunne Plaza tonight around 8:00 p.m. Make an announcement that you want to date a sexy Thai boy tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. for lunch and a movie, but there will be no tip. Then choose one from the long queue that will form of all the Thai boys who are so eager to spend their free time with a person who does not speak their language or enjoy the same cultural amenities, such as food and entertainment, for free.

 

The determinant here must be one of value. Will he derive the same value from the date as you will?

 

If you meet a doctor at a cocktail party, do you ask him about your medical problems but expect not to pay him because he is not giving you treatment?

 

You are picking up a boy who has charmed you. That's what he does for a living. Pay up!

[Gaybutton]

You are picking up a boy who has charmed you. That's what he does for a living. Pay up!

That's fine, but that's not what we're saying. At least that's not what I'm saying and I don't see where you're getting the idea that anyone is saying that. We're talking about a boy you already know and like, he knows and likes you, and you've already been with him several times.

 

I don't think anyone is foolish enough to think they're going to go to a bar, have a boy he's never met, or has never taken off even if they have met before, sit with him, and offer to take him to a movie without giving him any money. I'm talking about boys with whom you have already established some sort of a friendship with.

 

You do tip him when you're having sex with him. I don't think anyone is disputing that.

 

I also fail to see the logic of your doctor at the cocktail party analogy. Few people would be crass enough to seek his medical advice, but I might ask him for his card, tell him something about my problem, and ask him if this is the kind of thing he handles.

 

Don Rickles was one of the entertainers at Ronald Reagan's inaugural gala. "The Secretary of State's here, and Billy Graham. Nice to see you, sir . . . This hand is bothering me."

 

Of course, if your doctor happens to be the same as Rodney Dangerfield's - Dr. Vinnie Boombatz - it might be a different story at those cocktail parties:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptQ9wNs8bKI

[Guest fountainhall]

Why are you assuming that's the way it will be? . . . What's wrong with letting him pick the movie?

There's absolutely nothing at all wrong with letting him choose both restaurant and movie. But, rightly or wrongly, my reading of the original post is that that is not what was implied.

 

We're talking about a boy you already know and like, he knows and likes you, and you've already been with him several times.

Again, I think this is not something that comes out of the original post. So it seems we have two scenarios here. If, in GB's scenario, you are taking out someone who is essentially a friend, then of course a tip would not be expected, and might indeed cause a degree of offense. If it is barboy whom you happen to fancy but about whom you know little, then I do suggest again that a tip would be both expected and deserved. And, as GB suggested earlier, the ground rules should be set in advance.

[Guest tdperhs]

 

If I invite a bar/money boy to an afternoon movie should I tip and how much would be appropriate?

 

Fountainhall has it right. I hit the reply on the origin of the thread. Perhaps I should have cited the above quote then but we seem to waste a lot of space on quoting previous citations so I keep it to a minimum.

 

Fanofthailand is talking about a professional, not a friend or casual acquaintance. Using the services of a professional without appropriate remuneration is, as GB writes, crass. Yet it seems to happen often, and I believe not tipping the boy in the original scenario fits that description. As to the amount, half of what you would have paid for a long time.

 

Of course, if you change your mind and invite him to your room, you should pay the long time rate.

 

TIME IS MONEY!

[MrBill]

Fanofthailand is talking about a professional, not a friend or casual acquaintance. Using the services of a professional without appropriate remuneration is, as GB writes, crass.

 

On my first trip to LOS I went with a gay tour group and was introduced to the Thai concept of Phu Yai (

[Guest FanOfThailand]

I guess maybe I should give some more background information.

 

The reason this question came to mind was on my last visit, a boy I have seen a few times and I went to see a movie.

This boy speaks very good English and we have long talks about everything. He told me how the bars work, like the mamasan kickbacks and that the boys have to pay for their own bar uniforms (skimpy shorts) and that while the mamasan may know that he will bottom the other boys in the bar do not know this. A lot of this information has already been posted on this board.

 

In one of our conversations I had mentioned that I had not seen Avatar. He then said he had seen it but not in 3D and so we made a plan to see it together. We saw the movie and came back to the hotel for sex and an appropriate tip was given.

I have told the boy that I am a butterfly and when I tell him I can

[Guest fountainhall]

The reason this question came to mind was on my last visit, a boy I have seen a few times and I went to see a movie.

Your story is much more along the lines of GB's assumption than mine, although you did proceed on to your hotel afterwards. Had that not been the case and in those circumstances, then I probably would not have tipped - apart from taxi money to get home.