Chat with Thai boys, desperate conditions in Pattaya?

[ChristianPFC]

I just had this chat on MSN and as I didn'd find any chats between Thai boys (He) and Farang (Me) in all the blogs and forums I read, why not post it? Furthermore, this is the first time I have been asked for money online (probably due to the fact that I'm not at it for a long time. In January, I led 500B to a friend, he didn't even make an attempt to pay it back. BUT - is there a faster and cheaper way to find out whom you can rely on than borrowing 500B and see if you get it back?)

 

He hi

He How are you?

Me Hello, I'm fine.

He what are you doing?

Me surfing internet. And you?

He i chat with you and look foodball

He tomottow you look germany play?

Me No, I don't watch football.

He ok ok

He you come pattaya 30 june?

Me yes, maybe a day earlier or later.

(We have this "when you come Pattaya" every time we chat.)

He you want me stay with you?

Me yes, we can meet and you can sleep in my hotel room if you want.

He ok

He what you eat tonight?t

(Eating never came up in chats with Thai friends before.)

Me toast and cheese and later joghourt and grapes.

He ok ok

He but me not eat 2 day

(I hope he means "today" and not "two days"!)

Me why not? not hungry?

He i hungry

He but i not have money buy food

He but is ok

Me When I'm in Pattaya, I can invite you for eating.

He ok ok

He you will come bkk 25june?

Me I arrive on 24 in the evening.

He and stay in bkk 5day?

Me about a week in bkk

He ok ok

He when you have thai number you call tell me ok

Me Yes, I call you.

(We have this "You call me" on every chat.)

He in bkk

He we can meet everyday in pattaya?

Me I don't know yet. I will go to bars at nigh and meet other boys as well.

(Yes,I'm fully booked via gayromeo! On boy to meet every day. And going to bars as well.)

He ok ok

He when you come pattaya i want you help me

He you can?

Me How can I help you?

He befor i not have money buy food i get go pawn

He i get gold go give pawn

Me I invite you for dinner when we are together.

Me I go watch TV now, I will be back later.

He you can't help me?

He i want you help me ohly 3000B

He you can help?

(He was offline when I returned an hour later. So I don't have to think how to explain that he can keep my company for a day, during which I cover all our expenses and he will get 1500B, but surely not 3000B.)

 

I hope the situation is not as bad as it looks from this chat.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

The situation will get worse once you are here. Anyone who truly has no money for food can go to a wat and the monks will give them food, maybe in exchange for doing some work around the wat.

[Gaybutton]

3000 baht and you haven't even met him? I would not meet him or even communicate with him again if I were you. Lvdkeyes is right. This stuff about not having money to eat is nonsense. Yes, they can go to a Wat, but that usually isn't necessary. The boys take care of each other when the chips are down. He is probably living with at least two or three other boys. I don't think the others or his friends are going to let him starve while they're eating.

 

You can buy Thai food from the street vendors for 20 baht. If he was chatting with you online, then he most likely was in an Internet shop. He had the money to pay the Internet shop, but had no money to eat? I don't think so.

[Guest]

Not having money to eat is likely to be nonsense. Even if it were completely true, it is not your problem in the slightest. There are 6 billion people on the planet & he's no different to the few million others who might be broke. You will be broke yourself if you try to support them all.

 

Asking for 3000 baht when he has not met you gives the impression that he is a money grabbing type. I wouldn't even chat with him again on Gay Romeo, never mind meet him.

[MrBill]

3000 baht and you haven't even met him? I would not meet him or even communicate with If he was chatting with you online, then he most likely was in an Internet shop. He had the money to pay the Internet shop, but had no money to eat? I don't think so.

I always found this to be curious as well, so when I would get the "I not eat 2 day" I would reply with the suggestion (in a polite way) to take the bhat they were using for the Internet and spend it on food. End of conversation every time.

[Guest]

Simply, he's almost certainly lying. As stated above, he could spend the internet money on food. The fact he chose to spend the money on the internet and pester you for money just isn't your problem.

 

Most beggars have hard luck stories, many of which are improbably e.g. my wife and ALL my 6 children are in hospital, etc.. Or the people who are disabled & sprawled on the pavement, later seen almost running past you on the way to the beer in the supermarket (yes I've encountered both).

 

Learn to totally ignore hard luck stories from strangers.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

In San Francisco I was waiting at the light to make a left turn. There was a woman sitting in the median with a sign that read. "Please help me I am homeless and sick". During the time I was waiting she turned the sign over and it read, "Please help me. I am homeless and pregnant". Whatever works, Honey.

[Guest fountainhall]

Coming out of a theatre in London, an elderly lady was by the foyer with a sign saying she was homeless and please can we help. Many put coins into her bowl. I didn't, because she was wearing a very nice looking fur coat!

[ceejay]

For me, it's a judgement call and, since it's my money, it's my judgement that counts, so I am never wrong!

There are three classes of beggars I never give money to in Thailand.

The ones you see crawling along the pavement in Bangkok. I may be wrong, and I'm sorry if I am, but I have always thought they are run as a business, just for the tourists.

The women with very small children you see sitting in the street in Pattaya. I am quite certain that I have seen the same woman with 2 different children in the same day. Also, the body language is wrong - I don't believe that a woman with her own child would never look at it.

Farang beggars. Maybe I am hard hearted, but I have a very low level of sympathy for anyone who has organsied their affairs so badly as to get stuck in a foreign country with no means of support and no means of getting home.

 

One class that I often will give money to - the obviously disabled, with missing limbs (the result of farm accidents? or other obvious bars to earning a living. With no social security system in Thailand, they may well not have much option. In the Isaan, people in this group are often to be found in specific places, in markets or near Wats.

 

Two specific ones that I would always give a little to

There's a German cafe in the short stretch of South Road that runs between Second and Beach. I quite often have breakfast there. For some years there's been a deaf mute guy who approaches the tables there, waits very patiently and is very happy with a gift of 10 or 20 baht.

Sitting at the outside tables at Baan Dok Mai, you may be approached by a very old lady who seems to be carrying her worldly possessions around in a couple of bags. I can only guess - my guess is that she is destitute.

 

I am actually guided by Thais in this. They know what is going on in their own area and, if you see a Thai giving to a beggar then I have always thought it a pretty safe bet that this is one of the "deserving" cases who is benefitting from what is, in effect, a system of community support in place of a largely non existent social security net.

 

10 or 20 baht is not a lot to spend to help make somebody's day. If, sometimes, you are cheated out of it well, you're hardly going to die are you?

[Guest gay_grampa]

On the subject of scammers, I advise friends never give to the men who allege they are collecting for the Boy Scouts of Thailand.

 

These guys hang around outside the Beach Road entrance of Royal Garden Plaza and approach tourists with a little notebook containing remarks from other gullible tourists.

 

They ask for $20 and give you a sticker!!!

[ChristianPFC]

@ fountainhall: that lady might have a nice looking fur coat, but she can't eat it for dinner (just kidding!)

 

This boy has internet at home (so he told me), but it doesn't make any difference, asking for 3000B is outrageous. Furthermore, he is a dud, so I will move on and meet others.

 

I was initially hesitant about giving money to beggars, but recalling what I read in the internet it's easy not to pay attention to them. The same for touts (yes, there are touts that asked me to buy them a drink).

[Guest fountainhall]

@ fountainhall: that lady might have a nice looking fur coat, but she can't eat it for dinner (just kidding!)

How very true! But she could of course sell it - ha!

 

Having found myself being scolded by my bf for giving money to a man with no arms (he had seen, but I hadn't, that the arms were tied behind his back!), I now rarely give to beggars. But there is one man whom I have occasionally seen over the years at one or other ends of Silom Road in Bangkok. He has a horribly burned face and hands - definitely not a mask or make-up. I do not think twice about putting a decent sized bill in his mug.

[kokopelli]

 

Also, the body language is wrong - I don't believe that a woman with her own child would never look at it.

 

 

What about the one who is nursing her baby? Fake or real?

[kokopelli]

What about the one who is nursing her baby? Fake or real?

I suppose we all want to believe the Mafia is running the beggar program, that way we can feel good about ignoring their plight. But, as in all charities, money is being skimmed off the top by administrative costs, etc. The targeted recipients only receive a percentage of the total contributions.

[MrBill]

These guys hang around outside the Beach Road entrance of Royal Garden Plaza and approach tourists with a little notebook containing remarks from other gullible tourists.

I've also encountered guys at that location who suggest that they are deaf/mutes. Their request cards are all printed in English, not Thai. Some carry bags that they try to sell to support themselves. No disrespect, but they're like a flock of pigeons and several descend on unsuspecting tourists at once. I've wondereed if they are legit or scam. I assume it's the latter.

[Gaybutton]

I suppose we all want to believe the Mafia is running the beggar program, that way we can feel good about ignoring their plight.

I don't agree with that statement at all. I don't give to the beggars. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. And it has nothing to do with making me feel good. It has to do with common sense. You almost never see the same beggars in the same place more than once. Many are incapacitated. Ever wonder how they got there? Ever wonder where they disappear to at the end of the day? Ever wonder how they know where the most likely lucrative begging spots happen to be? Ever wonder what becomes of the money they collect? I never see any of them trying to buy anything anywhere. Ever notice how most of them don't talk? That's because most of them can't speak Thai. You know why? Most are not Thai.

 

I have no way to prove they are mafia controlled, but people in a position to know these things have been telling me for many years all about it and that the mafia keeps 80% of what they manage to collect.

 

But even if that's not true. Even if the beggars are able to keep every baht they collect, I still won't give them anything at all. That's everybody's individual decision. If you want to give them money, go right ahead, but don't expect me to do the same.

[Guest]

I often tip, sometimes give to charity & never give to beggars (except for when forced to by the UK social security system).

 

Some beggars fake injuries. Some are aggressive.

 

Some are injured, but deliberately lie in the dirt across the pavement actually trying to present the most undignified and desperate image they can. Giving to them merely encourages such behaviour, when I believe it should be discouraged.

Why should we encourage people to block the pavement & lie in the dirt? Or for that matter, encourage mothers to send their children around harassing strangers?

 

My purchases of goods & services in Thailand are a sufficient contribution to the Thai economy. After that, the people of Thailand can decide what type of social security system they want to provide. Basic safeguards for disabled people would be reasonable.

[kokopelli]

why? Most are not Thai.

 

So what if they are not Thai? A beggar is a beggar regardless of nationality.

 

If you want to give them money, go right ahead, but don't expect me to do the same.

 

Surely, I don't expect you or anyone else to give to beggars. I realize they are all controlled by the Mafia but I feel good about it. I must be some sort of asshole?

[kokopelli]

 

Basic safeguards for disabled people would be reasonable.

 

I agree with you 100 %. That is why I never give to the Red Cross, Salvation Army, Care, Doctors without borders, and on and on. Let their own countries take care of their problems and let us alone.

[Gaybutton]

So what if they are not Thai? A beggar is a beggar regardless of nationality.

 

Surely, I don't expect you or anyone else to give to beggars. I realize they are all controlled by the Mafia but I feel good about it. I must be some sort of asshole?

It's not the non-Thai beggars I have anything against. It's the people engaged in the human trafficking who brought them here in the first place that I have plenty against. If I give money to the beggars then that means I'm giving most of it to them. No thank you very much. They're not getting one baht of my money. I'm very sorry for the beggars and the horrible lives they lead. If I thought putting money in their begging cups would actually help them in any way, I'd be doing it. But it won't help them. Their lives are not going to improve one iota through begging and I'm not about to contribute any of my money so some human trafficker piece of shit is that much closer to buying himself a new Porsche. I can only hope the day will come when the traffickers end up sitting on a sidewalk with begging cups themselves, or better still sitting in the middle of the Bangkok Hilton.

 

I also don't give to the Salvation Army. I'm waiting for the Salvation Navy.

 

I don't understand what you are driving at in your "I must be some sort of asshole" statement.

[MrBill]

What about the one who is nursing her baby? Fake or real?

I still vividly recall my first expefrience on Jomtien beach. Like most flights from USA I had arrived late the night before and was whisked by car directly to Pattaya. After a few hour's sleep and a meet up my tour guide, we parked ourselves at Mr. Litt's on the beach. Shortly thereafter two young children, both under the age of 5 I am sure, came walking up and down the beach holding a little cage with some birds inside. The guide informed me that they were trying to get tourists to pay to release a bird for good luck, something in the neighborhood of 10-20 bhtn per bird If I remember.

 

Well, nobody was buying at Litt's or the neighboring chairs, and in due time a womman came along (possibly the mother) to gather up the 2 kids. When she saw that the kids had not collected much money, she started slapping both until they cried. She then, unceremoneously grabbed the two and literally yanked them down the beach to where there were more of a mixed crowd of tourists, possibly figuring that women would be more sympathetic to little tykes on the beach in need of cash.

 

That's when I knew I needed to be cautious of those "begging or soliciting."

[Guest buckeroo2]

I don't understand what you are driving at in your "I must be some sort of asshole" statement.

 

It's called sarcasm.......

[Gaybutton]

It's called sarcasm.......

I understand that. Maybe I'm just getting senile, but I don't understand the sarcasm.

[Guest Patexpat]

As it happens I too rarely give money to beggars as indeed it is 'big business' in a lot of cases.

 

As someone who employs a disabled Thai I know that re-training is available for those who seek it, allowing them to obtain regular employment.

 

Maybe many disabled don't know about this, or if they do, they choose a different path.

[Guest beachlover]

One class that I often will give money to - the obviously disabled, with missing limbs

 

These are often organised by gangs who take part of the earnings too.

 

Really, the best policy is not giving to any beggars at all. Especially if they're blocking the footpath and in people's way. It just encourages this behaviour.

 

Enjoy yourself in Thailand and tip people who provide you with good service well. That's plenty to be providing...