Guest lvdkeyes Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Justice, performed well, brings closure. not so revenge. OR to put it simply: Justice "God'll getcha for that!" Revenge "I'll getcha for that!" I have heard many people on various talk shows say that when justice was served, even execution, it still did not bring closure. So the justices are Gods? Quote
PattayaMale Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Let me try to provide an argument. In the first place, what does revenge get you? The satisfaction of causing someone else pain - even if you think they deserve it - must be pretty hollow. But, more importantly is what seeking revenge does to you. It seems to me it forces you to focus on the prior painful behavior. That can't feel good. Also, if revenge becomes a pattern when you think you've been wronged, people are likely to feel they have to walk on eggs around you in fear of retaliation. And lastly, revenge creates a chicken or the egg scenario where you end up being no better than the hurtful person. It seems to me a far better option is to recognize that either the other guy messed up and go on from there or, if it's a babit with them, move on and clean up your social circle. For argument sake, say every time a 16 year old walks home from school, a bully gang member stops him and takes his money. Day after day the 16 year old is confronted by the bully. So it seems your suggestion is to forgive the bully each time, and just move on. This will make the 16 year old feel good? But the 16 year old wants this to stop. This bully has made him feel impotent. One day the 16 year old decides he will seek revenge to put an end to this. The 16 year old confides in an older man that is a martial arts master who suggests a plan. The next day as the 16 is walking home and again is confronted by the bully, but this time the martial arts master pulls up. He tells the bully to give him all his money or harm will come to him each and every day. The 16 year old has his revenge. The bulling stops. Do you really think the 16 will feel bad about this? Should the 16 year old really just forgiven and forgot? Quote
KhorTose Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 For argument sake, say every time a 16 year old walks home from school, a bully gang member stops him and takes his money. Day after day the 16 year old is confronted by the bully. So it seems your suggestion is to forgive the bully each time, and just move on. This will make the 16 year old feel good? But the 16 year old wants this to stop. This bully has made him feel impotent. One day the 16 year old decides he will seek revenge to put an end to this. The 16 year old confides in an older man that is a martial arts master who suggests a plan. The next day as the 16 is walking home and again is confronted by the bully, but this time the martial arts master pulls up. He tells the bully to give him all his money or harm will come to him each and every day. The 16 year old has his revenge. The bulling stops. Do you really think the 16 will feel bad about this? Should the 16 year old really just forgiven and forgot? No, he should call the cops or tell his parents who should call the cops. Quote
KhorTose Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 I have heard many people on various talk shows say that when justice was served, even execution, it still did not bring closure. So the justices are Gods? Not in my book, but I am in the minority even in the gay community. Look up the word metaphor, or are you just joking. Quote
Guest RichLB Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 PattayaMale, we are defining "revenger" differently. In the scenario you provide I see your protagonist as merely engaging in a problem solving method (although not one I would employ). To me, revenge means the infliction of pain in retribution for previous hurt. There's no denying the world harbors some warped people and i do not advocate continuing to be a victim. To me, those who see revenge as an appropriate response are not a lot better than the perpetrator. Revenge and problem solving are different things. Quote
Guest pingalicker Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 I got a phone call yesterday from an ex-lover of mine that I lent $775 to 7 years ago because he called me crying saying he had just gotten out of jail and needed the money for food and rent. I'm white, hes black, 20 years my junior, married to a LARGE black woman, and really good in bed. It bothers him that he hasn't repaid me, and calls me once a year approx, saying he's going to repay me, but never does. Yesterday he said he really was going to do it. I'm not rich, and I've kissed this money good-bye a long time ago, but if he in fact does send it, some or all of it, I'm going to Western Union and send my latest BKK boy a surprise. I have not forgotten, or forgiven, as in yesterdays conversation he was telling me about his latest trip to Atlantic City. I asked if he did any gambling, he said yes, but that he lost. Of course I'm thinking if he can take a trip, owns a car, and wants to bring his wife on a trip to Vegas where I live, he can pay me back. I'm not bitter about this, and I am very careful who I lend money to, but sure would welcome to open the mail box and find a check from him. There's some fodder for the forum. Quote
Guest lvdkeyes Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Of course I'm thinking if he can take a trip, owns a car, and wants to bring his wife on a trip to Vegas where I live, he can pay me back. Did you tell him this? Quote
kokopelli Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Has someone you loved and respected ever done something you consider despicable? If so, how did you deal with it? Did you try to forgive them? Did it permanently change your feelings for them? Yes, I forgive them; it may change my feelings toward them but I try to put negative feelings out of my mind. Hopefully others will do the same for me when I screw up. Quote
