A few Good Men: Sex and Prostitution in Gay Thailand

[Guest RichLB]

Funny, but I don't think Rich has anything to worry about. A Thai partner might well want to have a fling with another Thai in his age range or possibly some young hot farang, but not with the "run of the mill" farang that is often seen in Pattaya or other such areas in Thailand.

I'm sure you are right. We are quite secure with each other and after over a decade together I don't think either of us could imagine living apart. But, the thought of him sharing the intimacies we have created with another farang bothers me. It isn't the sex. I can empathize with the thrill of exploring another body and enjoying it. It's more the idea of the nuzzzling, sex play, and cuddling that bothers me. Another farang experiencing that with him feels like an invasion. Does that make any sense? (By the way, as far as I know, it has never happened.)

[Guest]

It doesn't have to make sense to anyone but you and your partner. I have seen many long term relationships work for 30-50 years. All of them had rules. One of them had a rule that was "No rules". Regardless, people in relationships set rules that they are comfortable with and if both partners agree, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks of it. It it works, it works.

 

I had friend that would be monogamous except for a few vacations every year where they didn't talk about what happened. Others who were escorts in USA who were monogamous with except for paying customers.

 

What the rules state are not as important as the agreement brings happiness to BOTH parties. If it does, it will work.

 

For me, I don't care if my BF has sex with anyone he is attracted to. If that turned out to be an older falang, the rules might change for me. But, knowing him for 7 years, he like ladies and ladyboys. I know many of you think I am nuts but that is OK for me. He fulfills my sexual needs and I want him to get his satisfaction as well. I don't delude myself in thinking that he enjoys sex with a fat, old farang when he can easily pick up a sexy young lady. He is OK when I step out and find a someone that also fulfills something that he doesn't for me.

 

People sell themselves out in many ways. When I was working in a NYC law firm defending slumlords, I felt like I was whoring out my mind. I don't think boys working in bars are doing anything morally wrong. I don't pass judgments on them. I don't pass them on my friends who will represent BP in the oil spill or a mass murderer. People are entitled to do their job and do it well.

[kokopelli]

I'm sure you are right. We are quite secure with each other and after over a decade together I don't think either of us could imagine living apart. But, the thought of him sharing the intimacies we have created with another farang bothers me. It isn't the sex. I can empathize with the thrill of exploring another body and enjoying it. It's more the idea of the nuzzling, sex play, and cuddling that bothers me. Another farang experiencing that with him feels like an invasion. Does that make any sense? (By the way, as far as I know, it has never happened.)

 

Yes, what you write makes sense to me. The only way such a scenario might take place is if the "farang" was offering large financial inducements or the bf was in some sort of financial difficulties caused by drugs, gambling, or whatever.

[Guest FanOfThailand]

Ok, since we're still on the topic of prostitution, I have another question concerning preferences. Being in an open, long term, and loving relationship, if I off a guy from a bar I don't look for promises of enduring love, sweet mutterings of affection, or heart wrenching tales of personal problems. I'm merely seeking a short fulfilling sexual experience - hopefully for both of us. I know the guys much prefer snaring a long term farang, but making it clear I am not one of those has been difficult for me. So, a couple questions for you guys. Do you like the guys fawning affection and trying to convince you how sexy, attractive, and wonderful you are? If you don't how do you communicate that you only want a fun sexual experience and nothing more?

 

When I visit Pattaya I am not looking for a long term relationship as I don't believe in long distance romances IMHO.

When the boy asks "you have boyfriend" as most all do, I always reply that "I am big butterfly". I might be wrong in this but it is my feeling the even those that speak little English understand the term butterfly.

I don

[Gaybutton]

When the boy asks "you have boyfriend" as most all do, I always reply that "I am big butterfly".

I think you're right to do that. Too many farang mislead these boys into thinking they now have a farang boyfriend.