Do you mind if I date your boyfriend when you go away?

[Guest gay_grampa]

Quite frankly grandpa, none of the above is any of your business. Your remarks suggest you are nothing but a cad and not deserving of any further response.

 

Maybe so, but your reluctance to answer shows that you lack the confidence to reply truthfully.

[Guest]

But the question here that has been most contentious is:

Is a go-go boy on stage a boyfriend or an available prostitute?

 

Ah, if that is the question then I would say that he boy on stage is an available prostitute. However, if that available boy was someone that a friend considered his regular then I would avoid taking him off out of consideration for my friend.

[Guest gay_grampa]

Ah, if that is the question then I would say that he boy on stage is an available prostitute. However, if that available boy was someone that a friend considered his regular then I would avoid taking him off out of consideration for my friend.

 

I agree to the extent that if the friend is in the bar with me then he should have first choice to off his regular prostitute. If he is not there then it

[Guest lvdkeyes]

Several years ago I knew a married guy who worked in a go go bar and his wife also worked in a go go bar. They were working to save enough money to buy a house. When they had enough money they both gave up the go go business. Does that mean that the woman was not his wife while she was working as a go go and vice versa? Of course not. By the same standard a guy can have a bf who is working as go go

[Guest]

In my mind this is all a lot of jealous nonsense and I will continue to take off any boy I want on any go-go bar stage whenever I want, regardless of the envy and petty protectiveness of some of the sentimental, silly old fools on this board.

 

And, you should. If that is what you want and the boy is available, that is your right to do that.

 

The thing on my 'I don't get it' list is how anyone can say that a prostitute is his boyfriend?

 

I personally don't call any boy working in a bar my boyfriend. If I think I like them enough to do that, I offer them a choice of getting out of the bar life to pursue something more lasting with me. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But, I always have a hell of a time trying.

[Gaybutton]

The thing on my ‘I don’t get it’ list is how anyone can say that a prostitute is his boyfriend?

 

If he is genuinely a boyfriend then surely anyone with an ounce of morality would remove the boy from the bar and find him alternative employment.

You are becoming very quick to put down people who don't agree with you. "Silly old fools." Why? Because they don't agree with you? Unless their opinion is the same as yours, then they're silly old fools?

 

As far as you not getting it, the point is you don't have to get it. Only your friend has to get it. If he asks you not to take off a certain boy, try at least asking him why before you head out your door to the bar where you know that boy works.

 

So, you go right ahead and take a boy off even if your friend has asked that you don't. I'm still waiting for you to address the question I asked: Given the number of boys available, why would you take off the one boy your friend has asked you not to?

 

Anyone who has a go-go boy boyfriend lining up to be gay_grampa's friend?

[Guest gay_grampa]

I'm still waiting for you to address the question I asked: Given the number of boys available, why would you take off the one boy your friend has asked you not to?

 

and I'm still waiting for you to answer the question:

"So your friend is happy for his special go-go boy to have sex with anyone else ... EXCEPT YOU"

 

To answer the quoted question with another, does this 'friend' think that he owns the go-go boy? Is this boy a bit of property like a car or a book? Cars can be bought or hired; books can be bought or borrowed from a library ... and boys can be boyfriends or they can be commercial prostitutes available like the car or the book on a first come first served basis.

 

Perhaps it would be best to ask the special go-go boy this question:

'Your regular farang does not want you tonight. Do you want to go home penniless or do you want to go with me'?

[Guest lvdkeyes]

No comment on my last post?

[Gaybutton]

and I'm still waiting for you to answer the question:

"So your friend is happy for his special go-go boy to have sex with anyone else ... EXCEPT YOU"

 

To answer the quoted question with another, does this 'friend' think that he owns the go-go boy? Is this boy a bit of property like a car or a book?

My answer is I don't know what my friend thinks and I'm not going to ask. He's my friend and if he has expressed his wishes, that's good enough for me. I don't need him to explain or justify.

 

Ok, I've answered your question. Now instead of evading it yet again, answer mine.

 

It took me a few minutes to finish my little laugh over this one: "Do you want to go home penniless or do you want to go with me?" How generous of you. You're coming to the rescue of the boy your friend asked you not to take. You merit a statue too. If you're so concerned about the boy that you're going to help him out by fucking him, why not truly help him instead by abiding by your friend's wishes, taking the boy off, giving him some money right then and there instead of taking him home so you can get laid, and letting him go home or wherever he wants to go so he have a night off and not have to go home penniless? Can't do that, though, can you? Nooooo. Doing something like that never even occurred to you. You've just got to have sex with him. From among all the other boys available it just has to be him. After all, your friend's wishes mean nothing to you. And the boy . . . well, he's nothing but a prostitute.

[Guest mauRICE]

This is a question I get often.

 

It's interesting that you get asked this often. I can imagine it happening once in a long while in a place like Pattaya or any other location where love-for-pay scenarios are the rule but 'often' would suggest to me that people seem to think that you and your boyfriend are a fair go. As to why that is so probably lies in how you and your boyfriend present your relationship to the outside world. If the two of you have presented yourselves as being totally monogamous and committed to one another, then I agree that asking to date your boyfriend while you're away would have been in poor taste. If not, it would not be unreasonable for a third party to seek your permission first. Indeed, I would've thought it was the polite thing to do when one was unsure of the status of your relationship.

 

Pattaya is a small town filled with gossips. Old queens that see and hear things. This very forum is a scribe that has borne witness to trysts with European pornstars, lovers with a fascination for lady-boys, boyfriends who are married with kids back home, infidelity, drama...these do not conjure up a picture of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward sitting lovingly on a porch till death do us part...

[Guest]

I can imagine it happening once in a long while in a place like Pattaya or

 

What we wish, we readily believe, and what we ourselves think, we imagine others think also.

Julius Caesar

[Guest mauRICE]

What we wish, we readily believe, and what we ourselves think, we imagine others think also.

Julius Caesar

 

And the mighty Caesar died at the hands of his most trusted friends and compadres. Many say it is his own arrogance that did him in - he saw only what he wanted to see. I suspect that the sharpest dagger that will draw the most blood here lies at home.

[kokopelli]

Maybe so, but your reluctance to answer shows that you lack the confidence to reply truthfully.

 

My reluctance is to confide any more to a silly old fool like you, grandpa.

[Guest gay_grampa]

 

It took me a few minutes to finish my little laugh over this one: "Do you want to go home penniless or do you want to go with me?" How generous of you. You're coming to the rescue of the boy your friend asked you not to take. You merit a statue too. If you're so concerned about the boy that you're going to help him out by fucking him, why not truly help him instead by abiding by your friend's wishes, taking the boy off, giving him some money right then and there instead of taking him home so you can get laid, and letting him go home or wherever he wants to go so he have a night off and not have to go home penniless? Can't do that, though, can you? Nooooo. Doing something like that never even occurred to you. You've just got to have sex with him. From among all the other boys available it just has to be him. After all, your friend's wishes mean nothing to you. And the boy . . . well, he's nothing but a prostitute.

 

I will answer the bold in the quote ... the rest is just the kind of mindless twaddle and attempted sarcasm that has given you your reputation on other message boards.

If the friend was truly keen on the special go-go boy then he would be doing what you suggest - giving the boy money for nothing. Since this friend is either too mean or selfish to look after the lad then I am happy to help out and employ him in his chosen line of work.

[Guest gay_grampa]

My reluctance is to confide any more to a silly old fool like you, grandpa.

Unlikely ... you are scared of the truth.

[Guest gay_grampa]

No comment on my last post?

 

No, because it is absurd. The scenarios you state are entirely different.

[kokopelli]

Unlikely ... you are scared of the truth.

 

Grandpa, you could not accept the truth if thrown in your face.

 

You have had your say and made clear the way you think. Others have expressed their opinions. What you seem to leave out of the equation, is the word "friend" and "friendship". We are not talking about some stranger walking into a bar and offing a boy. We are talking about someone offing a boy who is special to his/your friend. Perhaps you have no friends or even understanding the meaning of a friendship? There are individuals like that, they are known as sociopaths but that is not likely a word you understand. From what I see, you are simply trying to provoke others forums members for no other reason then to amuse yourself. Fair enough, every forum needs its "agent provocateur", its devil's advocate, and you suit the role quite well. The fact that you even ask questions of me suggest your inability to relate to or have empathy with anyone but yourself. That you have made very clear.

[Guest]

Let's not make this thread too abusive please.

[Gaybutton]

mindless twaddle

Mindless twaddle? Hmmmm. And here I was thinking it was mindless diddly-doo. Of course, it's easy to avoid a response by sluffing it off, bestowing a label upon it, and trying to use that as justification for it being unworthy of attention, when meanwhile, by your own admission, the things I said are exactly what you would do.

 

To quote Ronald Reagan, "There you go again . . ." You wrote, "If the friend was truly keen on the special go-go boy then he would be doing . . ." As for the rest of that sentence, just fill in the blank. You have written similar sentences throughout this thread. I'm sure your friends are delighted that you have decided for them what they would do. After all, there's only one valid point of view . . . yours.

 

However, you have certainly made your position clear. You're going to disregard your friend's wishes, come up with justification for it, and do what you can to make sure his boyfriend, person of interest, object of infatuation, or whatever you want to call it, ends up sharing your bed with you. After all, your friend can't really mean that he doesn't want you to bed down with his boyfriend. That boy can't really be his boyfriend since he's working in a bar. And why shouldn't I take him whether my friend likes it or not? The boy is merely a prostitute. If my friend has asked me not to take him, what the hell do I care?

 

I know how to handle it. If I was your friend (and I can see that won't ever happen) and asked that you don't take off a particular boy who I feel close to, if his badge number is 22, I'll ask that you don't take the boy wearing badge number 7. That way my boyfriend will be safe while you're triumphantly prancing out the door with boy number 7, who also won't have to go home penniless that night. Now everyone will be happy . . .

 

It won't work that way, though. After your posts, just brimming over with intelligence, my posts are only mindless twaddle . . .

[Guest lvdkeyes]

No, because it is absurd. The scenarios you state are entirely different.

Explain how you think they are different.

[Guest mauRICE]

Several years ago I knew a married guy who worked in a go go bar and his wife also worked in a go go bar. They were working to save enough money to buy a house. When they had enough money they both gave up the go go business. Does that mean that the woman was not his wife while she was working as a go go and vice versa? Of course not. By the same standard a guy can have a bf who is working as go go

 

Yes, but I would think when they are at work, or if they give the impression that they are available, for financial reward or otherwise, then it's up to them as to whom they want to go with. There's a lot of talk about farang entitlements and sensitivities here but let's not forget it is ultimately up to the Thai person as to what they want to do with their time and body. And if the farang boyfriend is not happy with that, he should take it up with his Thai friend, not the third party. If you're not in control of your own relationship, don't expect others to do it for you. It's like telling the whole town not to pick the lock on your wife's chastity belt when she's only too happy to give the key away.

[Gaybutton]

he should take it up with his Thai friend, not the third party. If you're not in control of your own relationship, don't expect others to do it for you.

Everything you say is correct, but that's not the point. The point is what you would choose to do if a friend asks you not to take a boy he either has, or is trying to establish, a relationship with. I don't think anybody disputes the idea that if a boy is working in a bar, then he is at liberty to go with anyone who wants him. But the question is, at least the way I'm seeing this issue, is if a friend asks you not to take that boy, would you take him anyway?

 

In reality, I don't think a friend is going to ask that of you unless he has a damned good reason. His reason doesn't have to be anything I see as a valid reason. Even if I see his reason as ridiculous, he doesn't see it that way and, as I said, that's good enough for me. I'm not going to start arguing with him about it.

 

If it's a friend, I would trust that he does have, in his view, a good reason and my choice would be to abide by his wishes. I would not give him the third degree as to why he has asked this or why the boy is still working in a bar or why he doesn't find a different job for him, or anything else. If he is my friend, then I'll simply abide by his wishes. I believe my friends would do the same for me. I thought that's how true friends are supposed to treat each other.

 

If I had a friend who tells me that since that boy works in a bar, he's going to go ahead and take him despite my request and despite the availability of so many other boys, then he wouldn't be a friend much longer and probably never was a true friend in the first place.

[Guest jomtien]

But the question is, at least the way I'm seeing this issue, is if a friend asks you not to take that boy, would you take him anyway?

 

 

 

 

Put that way, I would have to say yes. I can't imagine any friend asking me not to take a bar boy, and if he did I would reevaluate the friendship. Personally, I've gotten to know and like 3 boys over the past few years that I take repeatedly. I'm fond of them. Yet if I think they would match up well with a friend I suggest them. Why? Because I like to see them earn money and I know my friends treat boys well.

[Guest mauRICE]

Everything you say is correct...But the question is, at least the way I'm seeing this issue, is if a friend asks you not to take that boy, would you take him anyway?

 

Being Asian, I think it would be incredibly naff to fight over prostitutes and commercial sex workers. You've got to be pretty much at the bottom of the barrel to be doing that and to put your close friendships on the line. But thankfully, the social and moral norms of Pattaya do not apply to rest of Asia.

 

Having said that, if I feel that strongly about somebody, then the onus would be on me and that somebody to make that relationship or budding romance work. After all, this is the person I presumably want to spend my life and share my bed with, and quite possibly my bank account. And if I wanted it to be a monogamous relationship, then I would speak to him about it and to make sure that he understands and accepts this. After all, he is the other 50% of 'us', not some third party.

[Guest mauRICE]

I can't imagine any friend asking me not to take a bar boy, and if he did I would reevaluate the friendship.

 

Putting it like that puts into perspective the pettiness of it all, doesn't it? A civil war could break out in Thailand at any moment and the denizens of Pattaya are worried about which bar-boy can or cannot be taken off. Even my five-year-old tomcat doesn't pee to mark his territory quite like that but then I had him neutered.