Do you mind if I date your boyfriend when you go away?

[Gaybutton]

so you obviously consider your friend's wishes are reasonable and worth respecting. is this just because the boyfriend is a sex worker? if the boyfriend was a chef and your friend said he would be upset if you ate at his restaurant would you just as happily eat at one of the many other restaurants available?

I would have thought you might at least come up with a good intelligent argument and analogy. My friend, that one definitely ain't it . . .

 

Try again.

[Guest Astrrro]

with the number of boys available, why would I want to take out the one boy I know will cause a friend to be upset with me? That is something I would never do and my reason is out of respect for a friend's wishes. Whether the boy would generally be considered his boyfriend is irrelevant to me. It would upset my friend and cause problems with our friendship, so my choice would be to abide by my friend's wishes and find a different boy even if taking out that particular boy would be totally justifiable.

 

That sums up the way I feel too. B)

[Guest Astrrro]

Perhaps it is a socially acceptable question? What do you think?

 

It needs to be done tactfully.

[Guest]

Different people have different values.

 

Sleeping with the partner of a friend is something I would not do, even if the person concerned was still working as a prostitute.

[Guest gay_grampa]

In my opinion, if a boy is on the game then he's fair game and nobody's boyfriend.

 

If he's somebody's 'regular off' then I would still take the boy off if I wanted to. The only exception to that would be if I was in the bar with that farang and the boy was still available I would ask him if he planned to take the boy off tonight. If the answer was no ... then that gives me the chance to off the boy.

 

If you want to treat a boy as your boyfriend then don't allow him to be a prostitute ... and don't give me a load of BS like: "He like to stay working with his friends". If you want a 'Boyfriend' to work then there are lots of other jobs he could be doing besides selling his body to strangers.

[kokopelli]

In my opinion, if a boy is on the game then he's fair game and nobody's boyfriend.

 

If he's somebody's 'regular off' then I would still take the boy off if I wanted to.

 

Would you take the boy off knowing that this could cause a rift or bad feelings with your friend? Assuming your friend considers the boy to be special to him? Just looking for clarification.

[Guest gay_grampa]

Would you take the boy off knowing that this could cause a rift or bad feelings with your friend? Assuming your friend considers the boy to be special to him? Just looking for clarification.

I think I answered this in my original post.

But if you want some more meat on the bones then consider this:

How special can that boy be to a farang if he allows the boy to be offed for sex by strangers. Surely it would be better for him to be offed by an undemanding person like me who will treat the boy well and pay him well?

If the boy is on the stage then he's available to everyone and 'Special' does not enter in to it.

[Gaybutton]

How special can that boy be to a farang if he allows the boy to be offed for sex by strangers.

I agree with what you say, but I don't think it is upon me to judge how special a boy might be to a friend or upon what criteria the line of "fair game" should be drawn. My feeling is very simple. If a friend lets me know that he would be upset if I go with a particular boy, then to me whether the boy is a bar boy or not would be irrelevant to me. For me the only issue is whether I want to abide by my friend's wishes, as I hope he would abide by mine, or whether it is more important to me to take that particular boy and upset my friend when there are so many others. While there may be all kinds of justification for taking the boy despite my friend's wishes, it is something I simply would not do. I would find another boy.

 

I just don't see any reason why that one boy would be so important to me that I would risk upsetting my friend to have him. This is one sea that has a hell of a lot of fish. I'll choose a different one. I would abide by my friend's wishes as I know my friends would do for me.

 

If it is a boy I know my friend is been seeing, I wouldn't even ask the question as to whether it would be ok with him when he is away or any other time. I just wouldn't do it. If my friend tells me he doesn't see that boy anymore and has moved on to others or tells me they have "finished," now I would assume the boy is fair game.

[Guest gay_grampa]

My feeling is very simple. If a friend lets me know that he would be upset if I go with a particular boy, then to me whether the boy is a bar boy or not would be irrelevant to me.

So your friend is happy for his special go-go boy to have sex with anyone else ... EXCEPT YOU

 

some friend?

[Guest Astrrro]

So your friend is happy for his special go-go boy to have sex with anyone else ... EXCEPT YOU

 

some friend?

 

Some people find it awkward to share their special boy with their good friends.

 

Some people find it awkward to sleep with a friend's boy special even if he's getting offed by strangers.

 

While others couldn't care less.

[Guest gay_grampa]

Some people find it awkward to share their special boy with their good friends.

 

Some people find it awkward to sleep with a friend's boy special even if he's getting offed by strangers.

 

While others couldn't care less.

 

If the boy is so special to someone then he would not let the boy work as a prostitute.

[Gaybutton]

If the boy is so special to someone then he would not let the boy work as a prostitute.

I think that's just like saying "If God meant for man to fly, He would have given him wings." Sorry, but I don't view that as valid because I do not presume to know what God would have done and I don't presume to know what someone else would do. How do you know what someone else would do? Just because you feel that way doesn't mean that everyone else has to see it the same way. I see it just as Astrrro does.

 

And again, I don't see your point. Are you saying that if you have a friend who you know would be upset if you took a particular boy, then instead of finding a different boy you would take that boy regardless of your friend's feelings? What are you going to say to him? "Yes, I knew you would be upset, but I didn't give a damn because you are letting him work as a prostitute." How do you think your friend will respond? Do you at least care?

 

Maybe the boy is fair game because he works as a prostitute, but so are hundreds of others. Just because he is fair game, that doesn't mean you have to choose him. Why on earth would you want to take the one boy you know is going to upset your friend? If you value the friendship, why would you choose to disregard his feelings? I really don't understand why you would do that.

[Guest gay_grampa]

You think what you want.

 

For me, if a boy is available on the stage then he's available for me along with everyone else. First come, first served.

 

If 'a friend' wants to reserve a special boy for himself, then take him away - permanently (provided that the boy is happy with that situation). It is very unfair for this 'friend' to restrict that boys ability to make money by asking individuals not to take him off. He's happy for the boy to be taken off for sex by a stranger but not by someone he knows!

 

I repeat: "So your friend is happy for his special go-go boy to have sex with anyone else ... EXCEPT YOU"

Is this because the friend thinks the boy will be quizzed by Gaybutton or Astrrro or anyone else as to what he is like in the sack? If he is so protective of his privacy then maybe he shouldn't be offing anyone.

[Guest]

If a boy is on stage and working, he is available. We all agree on that.

 

If a boy is the regular of a friend of yours and still on stage, he is still available. We all agree on that.

 

Where we disagree is the line in trying to put your friends needs (what ever they may be) above your desire for sex with that particular guy. Is this correct?

[Gaybutton]

Where we disagree is the line in trying to put your friends needs (what ever they may be) above your desire for sex with that particular guy. Is this correct?

That's right. I don't dispute gay_grampa's position that the boy is available for anyone, including him, but it still goes beyond me that if he knows his friend's wishes, he'll still take that boy. Don't forget, we're not talking about a boy somebody takes off every so often. We're talking about people who have an ongoing relationship with that boy. Gay_grampa is saying that if the boy works in a bar, then there's no reason not to take him off. I say there is a very good reason if I know my friend has some sort of a relationship going with that boy, beyond casual offs, and has made it known to me that he would rather I not take that particular boy. I'll repeat . . . I would choose to abide by my friend's wishes. Gay_grampa, on the other hand, as far as I can tell from the manner of his posts, couldn't care less whether his friend likes it or not and instead of finding another boy, he's going to take that boy regardless of his friend's wishes.

 

Gay_grampa, I sincerely appreciate you giving me permission to think what I want. I hope some time you really do have a friend who asks that of you, but you go to that bar and off that boy anyhow. I hope as you're leaving with that boy, your friend at that moment is walking in. I'd love to be there when your friend realizes that you didn't give a damn about his feelings, only what you wanted for yourself, and asks you why you did that. I'd be very interested to see what you'll say to him.

 

Since I now have your permission to think what I want, good. I think your attitude stinks.

[kokopelli]

If you want to treat a boy as your boyfriend then don't allow him to be a prostitute ... and don't give me a load of BS like: "He like to stay working with his friends". If you want a 'Boyfriend' to work then there are lots of other jobs he could be doing besides selling his body to strangers.

 

This does puzzle me, how a farang can truly consider someone as his boyfriend and yet condone his continuance as a sex worker? At first it is understandable but in time it would seem the farang has to put up (Baht) or stand down. I suppose there are farang who may be pinched for money that have no other choice?

[Gaybutton]

This does puzzle me, how a farang can truly consider someone as his boyfriend and yet condone his continuance as a sex worker?

I don't disagree with that, but I don't see that as the issue. To my mind, that's between the farang and the boy and is not our business to pass judgment. I don't know how a farang can truly consider the boy to be his boyfriend if he works in a bar. What is important to me is my friend does consider it that way. Also, I neither know nor care whether he condones it or not. For all I know, the farang might be back in his home country and isn't even aware that the boy is still working in a bar. I don't see how that alters the issue.

 

To me, there is only one issue here. A friend has asked that you don't off a certain boy because he has an ongoing relationship with him. Now you have the choice of abiding by his wishes or disregarding his wishes, no matter what the boy does for a living and no matter whether my farang friend condones it or not. That's his business, not mine. He has his reasons and I don't see any need for a friend to have to justify his reasons to my satisfaction.

 

I pose the same question because so far nobody has posted an adequate answer: Given that there are so many boys here to choose from, why would you take off the one boy your friend has asked you not to?

[Guest]

This does puzzle me, how a farang can truly consider someone as his boyfriend and yet condone his continuance as a sex worker?

 

Not everyone who enters a relationship requires exclusivity to be part of the deal. Admittedly, most do, but a few do not.

 

Also, if one off's a gogo dancer & then starts spending a few nights with him, at what point during the development of the relationship would one decide his career path is now totally unacceptable?

[kokopelli]

 

Also, if one off's a gogo dancer & then starts spending a few nights with him, at what point during the development of the relationship would one decide his career path is now totally unacceptable?

 

For me, after a few dates over a period of 2 weeks, I returned home and thought about our future. I returned shortly to end his career and begin a serious long term relationship.

Even now I cringe that farang, I now associate with, have in the past, been intimate with him. Although back then these farangs were not friends or acquaintances so I bear them no ill will.

[Guest gay_grampa]

For me, after a few dates over a period of 2 weeks, I returned home and thought about our future. I returned shortly to end his career and begin a serious long term relationship.

Did the boy want 'His career ended'?

Did the boy have any say as to his want for a relationship?

Do you now pay him more than he could have earned as a go-go boy?

Do you worry what the boy is doing when you are not around to chaperon?

Have you both been 100% faithful?

[Gaybutton]

Did the boy want 'His career ended'?

Did the boy have any say as to his want for a relationship?

Do you now pay him more than he could have earned as a go-go boy?

Do you worry what the boy is doing when you are not around to chaperon?

Have you both been 100% faithful?

Are you talking about a boyfriend or a marriage?

Does moving toward those goals count?

[Guest lvdkeyes]

Pure and simple: If you have sex with your friend's bf then you are no friend.

[kokopelli]

Did the boy want 'His career ended'?

Did the boy have any say as to his want for a relationship?

Do you now pay him more than he could have earned as a go-go boy?

Do you worry what the boy is doing when you are not around to chaperon?

Have you both been 100% faithful?

 

Quite frankly grandpa, none of the above is any of your business. Your remarks suggest you are nothing but a cad and not deserving of any further response.

[Gaybutton]

Pure and simple: If you have sex with your friend's bf then you are no friend.

Amen! Totally agree.

[Guest gay_grampa]

Pure and simple: If you have sex with your friend's bf then you are no friend.

 

Agreed 100%

 

But the question here that has been most contentious is:

Is a go-go boy on stage a boyfriend or an available prostitute?