Taking off shoes before entering a house

[unicorn]

I went to a party last night, which was a birthday celebration for a friend, given by another of his friends (my fiance and I didn't know the party-thrower couple previously). To my surprise, they asked us to take our shoes off before entering the house. I always wear shoes with custom arch supports, since, when I don't I can develop a case of plantar fasciitis, which can cause foot pain for months. The treatment can necessitate painful injections, physical therapy, and the wearing of special boots.

 

Taking off shoes before entering a house is not the custom in the US (one of the couple was Asian, so I'm guessing the request started from him). Also, their house, newly moved-into, didn't have any stools or places where I could take the weight off of my feet. I just kept my weight off the foot which has been the culprit more often, and thankfully I'm OK. The next day (today) I went online to see if there have been any scientific studies demonstrating any illness or medical condition which would be less frequent in houses wherein people take their shoes off, and there doesn't seem to be any science behind this custom (presumably, stubbed toes are more frequent with shoes off). This seems to be all a matter of tradition--presumably traditions which predate the invention of the vacuum cleaner. 

I remember traveling to homes in Japan, where guests are requested to take their shoes off, and are provided with slippers. However, they provided no slippers. I understand in Japan that (1) shoes can tear up tatami mats which often cover the floors, and (2) tatami mats are difficult if not impossible to vacuum. This couple just had a hardwood floor, though.

Should this couple have given fair warning to guests regarding their no-shoes policy, given that it's not the custom in this country? Provided shoe covers of slippers? Usually in the US, it's just assumed that one is not going to show up at a party in dirt-laden hiking boots that one wore on a recent hike. Separately, how should I approach this problem in the future? Should I just carry slippers in my car, then, if unexpectedly asked to remove my shoes, explain that I have a medical condition, and can go back to the car, get the slippers, and then transfer the shoe inserts into the slippers upon my return?

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, unicorn said:

 how should I approach this problem in the future? Should I just carry slippers in my car, then, if unexpectedly asked to remove my shoes, explain that I have a medical condition, and can go back to the car, get the slippers, and then transfer the shoe inserts into the slippers upon my return?

when we are invited  and accept it we need to obey whatever house rules are.  When invited to new place we also need to anticipate that some of the rules maybe weird to us.

So I guess an advice you  put above is very sound one. If house rules are bothersome to us , right thing will be to decline an invitation or at least address it with host well in advance. 

[a-447]

When I was growing up in Japan I never suffered from plantar fasciitis ; not did I ever hear of someone suffering from it.

It only started when I returned to live in Australia. I take my shoes off in my own home but when I visit friends, they all wear their shoes indoor, ,so I leave mine on, too. That may or may not be the cause of my plantar fasciitis.

After years of pain I finally came across a solution! Compression socks.

Who would have imagined that such a simple solution existed? 

I only get pain when I go to bed so I just slip these on and the pain magically disappears.

So carry these instead of slippers. Maybe worth a try.

[unicorn]

11 minutes ago, a-447 said:

...After years of pain I finally came across a solution! Compression socks...

Well, after my 2nd bout, I went for quite a few years without a problem (wearing arch support), then stopped wearing arch support insoles, and developed a 3rd, horrible bout shortly thereafter. I have never worn shoes without them, ever since. These are what my podiatrist recommended. She did not recommend compressions socks, nor have I seen any studies to show these are effective at preventing PF. With respect to Vinapu's suggesting that I either decline the invitation or address it in advance, we were surprised by the requirement as we showed up at the door. This surprise was complicated by the lack of furniture/place to sit. My feeling was that in places where such requests aren't customary, the shoeless requirement be addressed before we leave (preferably when extending the invitation). I understand cultural differences, but in the US, wearing shoes indoors is the cultural norm. 

[kokopelli3]

In Thailand it is the custom to remove shoes upon entering someone's house and it is the same in Quebec, Candada. 

[a-447]

"nor have I seen any studies to show these are effective at preventing PF. "

No, they don't prevent pf but they relieve it to the point where it is no longer a problem. 

[vinapu]

7 hours ago, a-447 said:

That may or may not be the cause of my plantar fasciitis.

After years of pain I finally came across a solution! Compression socks.

Who would have imagined that such a simple solution existed? 

 

I had bout of PF in early XXI century to a point that while alighting from train in Chicago , due to pain I collapsed on the platform. Solution- doctor prescribed  one- custom made insoles and sugested another one - wear original Birkenstock sandals. Both worked to a point of being distant memory even if I walk around the house barefooted.

[Riobard]

So Todd from the Emmy-nominated series The Jury , a show with ultimate blindsiding, was really onto something, although if you have a vehicle acceptable footwear in this case could more easily be stashed. I agree it should have been a foreseeable contingency to which you had been clued in ahead of time. Seems like you bit your tongue, not a barefoot cuntessa. This is a Candadian point of view.

[reader]

I'm not Asian but I ask visitors to remove shoes because I have very light colored carpet. No complaints so far.

[vinapu]

45 minutes ago, reader said:

I ask visitors to remove shoes because I have very light colored carpet. No complaints so far.

I'm opposite , unless is snowing or raining cats and dogs I tell my guest ' you can leave shoes on' . Most do , some still remove, it usually depends of their own house custom.

My friend Henry usually visits on last Saturday of the month and always removes his shoes before I protest. Why do I ? because I suspect his  sock changing day is

last  Sunday of the month. 

[xpaulo]

7 hours ago, kokopelli3 said:

it is the same in Quebec, Candada.

It's pretty common in Canada for hosts to expect their guests will take off their shoes. It might vary a bit depending on location and climate, but obviously there's going to be snow and or mud in Canada for much of the time. Wearing boots to a house party is a necessity, not a choice. I imagine if it's important for people to wear shoes indoors, they bring a separate pair to change into. Many women bring multiple pairs of shoes to work for instance and stow them under or near their desks.

[unicorn]

17 minutes ago, xpaulo said:

It's pretty common in Canada for hosts to expect their guests will take off their shoes. It might vary a bit depending on location and climate, but obviously there's going to be snow and or mud in Canada for much of the time. Wearing boots to a house party is a necessity, not a choice. I imagine if it's important for people to wear shoes indoors, they bring a separate pair to change into. Many women bring multiple pairs of shoes to work for instance and stow them under or near their desks.

Yes, I agree that in Canada this makes sense much, perhaps most, of the year.

This is not an issue where I live (Los Angeles), and I was blindsided. I guess I'm going to buy some slippers to leave in my car, in case others want to impose their foreign customs on their guests. (I also don't keep an ice scraper in my car unless I'll be driving up the mountains in winter)

[10tazione]

2 hours ago, vinapu said:

I tell my guest ' you can leave shoes on' .

Interesting, but when in Bangkok you insist on guests taking off everything

Is your stamp collection that sensitive to dust?

[vinapu]

Just now, 10tazione said:

Interesting, but when in Bangkok you insist on guests taking off everything

Is your stamp collection that sensitive to dust?

not that it's not true  but I wonder how do you know?

When we were neighbors in Quarter Silom and you pay visit to my room I can't recall any undressing part and it was before my first goin of thee day

Truth to be told I don't insist on guest taking off everything, quite opposite , I rather remove their clothes myself. After all it's me who invited them so need to be nice to my guests,  no? 

[xpaulo]

26 minutes ago, unicorn said:

their foreign customs

Ha, ha... good point. Is leaving shoes on more the norm around the world? Could this be one of the rare occasions when Americans are oblivious to how out of step they are with most of the world. And I'm saying this as a Canadian who often forgets to take my shoes off and doesn't notice the typically passive aggressive Canadian hints that I'm annoying my host.

[10tazione]

37 minutes ago, vinapu said:

I wonder how do you know?

The guys "near 7/11" told me

[unicorn]

2 hours ago, xpaulo said:

Ha, ha... good point. Is leaving shoes on more the norm around the world? Could this be one of the rare occasions when Americans are oblivious to how out of step they are with most of the world...

No, it's not the case in which the US stubbornly refuses to use the metric system, uses mm/dd/yy, or lists prices which have little to do with what one actually has to pay. In reading up on the custom, it seems it's customary mainly in Asia and in places where it actually makes sense: in cold climates such as Canada, Nordic countries, and the Baltics, where the snow/slush/mud would actually make cleaning the house very difficult

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tradition_of_removing_shoes_in_the_home_and_houses_of_worship

"...In Northern Europe, Scandinavia and the Baltics, it is considered unhygienic and rude by most to keep one's shoes on when entering a house, in particular boots or outdoor walking shoes. There may be exceptions, especially when it is a short visit where it is not necessary to enter the interior rooms of the house or flat. For the most part though, shoes are taken off — in part due to the harsh winter weather... 

In Canada, households do not wear shoes in the home. In general it is expected that a guest would remove their shoes on entering a home unless the host states otherwise. In addition to residential homes, the removal of shoes also occurs in other settings, particularly during the winter; as footwear worn outside may be wet from snow and soiled by the associated salt/sand that is used to clear roads of snow cover. As a result, many schools in Canada require students to bring with them or leave behind a pair of "indoor shoes" at the school for indoor wear during the winter months. Similarly in office settings, employees will usually wear indoor shoes in the winter...". 

 

[forrestreid]

I know an elderly woman here in Ireland (where such requests would not generally be expected) who went to visit some neighbours who had recently moved in with a young family. They had such a policy as they had  either hardwood floors or beige carpet on their floors.

The elderly woman and her husband had been invited in for supper, late evening after the kids are gone to bed.They were slightly taken back to be requested to remove their footwear, but they agreed to do because as the woman later said, the floors looked spotless.

Unfortunately though,  one of the kids had left a piece of Lego on the ground  in the bathroom, and the old lady stepped on it while on a visit to the toilet!

I am not sure if she told a couple about it, but she bitched pretty vociferously to a lot of other neighbours afterwards, which is why I’m aware of it.

On the question in general, I think I remember a letter in the “Dear Mary” section of the (London) Spectator magazine in relation to this question. This is a section in the magazine that deals with etiquette problems and moral dilemmas.  The viewpoint of the person answering the queries can sometimes be a bit strange.

Anyway, in this case she advised buying a set of disposable surgical over-shoe covers that they use in Hospital and keeping them in your pocket, and whisking them out when faced with such requests.

That way, you wouldn’t have to take off your footwear, but any  dirt that does come  outside on your shoe wouldn’t get on  the floors.

Not sure how to hosts would react to that..

[Keithambrose]

6 hours ago, reader said:

I'm not Asian but I ask visitors to remove shoes because I have very light colored carpet. No complaints so far.

Me too, same reason. But if its a very dry day, sometimes  I relent. I do usually ask tradespeople to remove shoes, as they sometimes have boots, and the good ones have plastic wrapovers they put on. They have a pair in their pockets, and put them on without being asked.  If a guest said they had issues, such as has been mentioned,  then I would tell them to keep shoes on, and ask them to stay in the kitchen (only joking!).

[Keithambrose]

5 minutes ago, forrestreid said:

I know an elderly woman here in Ireland (where such requests would not generally be expected) who went to visit some neighbours who had recently moved in with a young family. They had such a policy as they had  either hardwood floors or beige carpet on their floors.

The elderly woman and her husband had been invited in for supper, late evening after the kids are gone to bed.They were slightly taken back to be requested to remove their footwear, but they agreed to do because as the woman later said, the floors looked spotless.

Unfortunately though,  one of the kids had left a piece of Lego on the ground  in the bathroom, and the old lady stepped on it while on a visit to the toilet!

I am not sure if she told a couple about it, but she bitched pretty vociferously to a lot of other neighbours afterwards, which is why I’m aware of it.

On the question in general, I think I remember a letter in the “Dear Mary” section of the (London) Spectator magazine in relation to this question. This is a section in the magazine that deals with etiquette problems and moral dilemmas.  The viewpoint of the person answering the queries can sometimes be a bit strange.

Anyway, in this case she advised buying a set of disposable surgical over-shoe covers that they use in Hospital and keeping them in your pocket, and whisking them out when faced with such requests.

That way, you wouldn’t have to take off your footwear, but any  dirt that does come  outside on your shoe wouldn’t get on  the floors.

Not sure how to hosts would react to that..

Just made the point about overshoe covers. 

[Keithambrose]

Just now, Keithambrose said:

Just made the point about overshoe covers. 

And it's a fair point about stepping on something,  a piece of overlooked glass, etc! Still, I keep my lounge free of that sort of hazard, I hope!

[unicorn]

17 minutes ago, forrestreid said:

...
Unfortunately though,  one of the kids had left a piece of Lego on the ground  in the bathroom, and the old lady stepped on it while on a visit to the toilet!
...
Anyway, in this case she advised buying a set of disposable surgical over-shoe covers that they use in Hospital and keeping them in your pocket, and whisking them out when faced with such requests...

Well, had the old lady slipped and fell, she might have fractured her hip (or wrist or other bones). I would further opine that if one lives in a country/location where it's not customary to ask people to take their shoes off, it's the host who should probably offer shoe covers (or slippers). I certainly understand the problem of slosh/salt/mud in colder climates as a legitimate concern.

I just learned that they even have automatic shoe cover dispensers. They would sound pretty practical in those colder climates:

[unicorn]

7 hours ago, 10tazione said:

...in Bangkok you insist on guests taking off everything...

[unicorn]

8 hours ago, xpaulo said:

It's pretty common in Canada for hosts to expect their guests will take off their shoes....

Just out of curiosity, for those who come from countries where it's common to ask guests to take off their shoes--would it be fair to assume that no people who make such requests have outdoor pets, such as dogs? Otherwise it seems beyond silly. 

[traveller123]

In Thailand it goes without saying you will remove your footwear when entering someones house.

In my part of Isaan you also remove them when visiting the Doctor (except at the hospital), Dentist and various other places.