Finding non go go boys?

[Guest taylorsquare]

Pattaya I believe unlike Bangkok ,is very hard to find non go go boys for paid casual sex.

Sure we all see those cute boys in Supermarkets etc but rarely do we have the confidence to approach them.

On my last visit to Pattaya and over the years I have had motorbike taxi drivers,karaoke waiters and navy guys.

Getting a motorbike taxi driver is actually very hard,because you see a cute one you have to wait till his turn in the group.

And usually you have to take a long ride.

i managed to get one on my last visit but got more rejections than i had sucess.

I usually like guys in their 30s and some were too straight.

One got offended when i asked politely to come back to the room.

dO THEY have cruising toilets in Pattaya,?

GayRomeo is in my opinion all go go boys,im into straight guys preferably late 20s early 30 s "tops " mostly.

I dont suppose anyone is going to give their secrets away here.

I sometimes pay other boys to ask a guy i like whether he s interested or not.

 

I had a bit of a problem last time when i invited a security/bouncer guy from a disco back to my room for drinks.

He was well over 6 foot ,probaly 6 ft 5 and very big,i would say over 20 stone.

One of his arms would be the size of a persons thigh.

We started drinking and then i got too scared to initiate anything so just ended up having drinks and food in the room.

Didnt pay anything but its very hard to make clear why your inviting them in the room.

[Gaybutton]

Pattaya I believe unlike Bangkok ,is very hard to find non go go boys for paid casual sex.

Sure we all see those cute boys in Supermarkets etc but rarely do we have the confidence to approach them.

When you say "we" you are implying that your lack of confidence applies to most people, perhaps everyone. That is simply not true. You're even assuming that you can forget about sex unless you pay for it. Other than the bars and usually the beach, that is also not true. And there are plenty of Gay Romeo boys who have nothing to do with the bars.

 

Speaking for myself, if I see a boy I like, whether in a supermarket or anywhere else, I first smile. If he smiles back and maintains at least a little bit of eye contact, then I just say hello and take it from there. Sure, I get rejected sometimes, but if we're talking and he seems to be amenable, then getting rejected is rare. If I can see it's not going to go anywhere I say "it was nice to meet you" and go about my business.

 

You seem to be overly shy and lacking in self confidence. You've already posted that you would be self conscious simply by taking a boy off and walking through Sunee Plaza with him. What do you plan to do, come to Pattaya and watch everybody else having a good time, but you're going sit there embarrassed to do anything for yourself because of a fear of rejection and/or a fear that others may be watching you?

 

Here's an idea that may help you. If you don't already have one, when you come to Thailand buy an inexpensive mobile phone. Now you'll have a phone number good anywhere in Thailand. Then get some small pieces of paper and write your name and telephone number on them. If you cannot bring yourself to invite someone to your room, someone you've at least said hello to, then just give him one of the papers and hope he'll call you. You'll be pleasantly surprised when you start getting those calls.

 

You can even do that in the bars. If you call a boy over, but are too shy to walk with him through Sunee Plaza or wherever, give him one of the papers and tell him you would like him to call you sometime. Most likely you'll here from him the next day. Then you can arrange to have him meet you wherever you want.

 

Being shy and having no confidence is just plain silly in Pattaya.

 

I'll even go a step further. If you wish, contact me when you get here. If I'm in town I'll be glad to take you around myself. It won't take long before you realize how useless your fears are in a city like Pattaya.

[Guest taylorsquare]

Thankyou I will contact you next year,and probaly do the drive trip around the Grand Palace if we could get a group together.

I will be arriving mid January .

[MrBill]

I have found some nice boys at Royal Garden, along Beach Road betwen Walking Street and Royal Garden after 9 pm usually, and after 1 AM in Boys, Boys, Boys in the "dancing" area to the left of the main oom as you walk in.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

I would be very careful about even walking along Beach Road late at night. There has been too much crime there. Another place to pick up boys is after 1 am at the food stalls along Pattaya Tai.

[Guest taylorsquare]

MRBILL, I too tried that area just opposite McDonalds and I think I saw my ladyboys than anything else,i tried my best to look for real men types but the ladies and ladyboys outnumber them .

HOWEVER,whilst walking that area ,i came across that open muay thai boxing bar,actually bars because there all in a group.

I watched the muay thai guys fighting and then they came around for their tip after the fight,i tried to strike up a conversation with them but its hard.

 

i think i would have to get another thai to ask them for me and obviously they would only for good money come back to the room.

As for Pattayatai at night theres heaps of boys eating after work in the early hours but unless your eating yourself its hard to get to them.

[Gaybutton]

but unless your eating yourself its hard to get to them.

It is? What's the hard part?

[Guest taylorsquare]

Well,how do u actually approach them,usually they are with their friends/colleagues.

 

I wouldnt know how to do it politely and the right way.

[Gaybutton]

Well,how do u actually approach them,usually they are with their friends/colleagues.

I simply walk up and say hello. I've done that many times and have never been rejected. As a matter of fact the boys I've approached that way have always been delighted that someone wants them. If he is with friends, they are always happy for the boy. Don't forget, that same boy just spent his all of his working hours hoping that a farang will take him off. And after he eats, don't be surprised if he heads for an Internet shop in hopes that someone left a message for him on Gay Romeo.

 

Get on Gay Romeo about 10:00pm, Thailand time. Pay attention to how many boys are currently online. Then get on again at about 1:30am and you'll probably see a lot more boys online. They just got off from work, were not taken off, and now they're hoping to reel someone in via Gay Romeo.

 

You guys have to get over this shyness routine. In Pattaya there is no need for it and by being so shy you're ruining your own holiday.

 

No offense intended, but some of these shyness posts are coming across, at least to me, like a 14 year old kid who is scared to ask a girl for a date. You're adults aren't you? Why the same fears that you would expect from an awkward kid who is frightened to even speak to a girl? Get over it.

 

Don't you understand? These boys want to be approached. That's why they're working in the bars. Every last one of them "want to have farang." You're acting as if you're expecting to receive some kind of a humiliating rejection, when what you're actually going to get is a boy who is very happy to go with you.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

Some people love to be "poor me."

[Gaybutton]

Some people love to be "poor me."

Quite frankly, this set of posts, on this thread and the "Walk of Shame" thread, is so ludicrous that I'm half convinced that they're not for real and someone is pulling our legs. That's just my feeling, of course, and I could be wrong, but it is becoming quite difficult to accept the idea that grown men, especially gay men who come to Thailand, are too embarrassed to be seen with a bar boy and/or are so riddled with a lack of self confidence and fear of rejection that they're too awkward to even be able to approach a boy. Maybe it's just me, but I don't buy it.

[Guest taylorsquare]

Well,im sorry but theres a lot of people such as me.

Even so much that they wont even post for fear of being ridiculed and trodden on like you seem to be doing to me.

Sorry i cant help not approaching people for fear of rejection,maybe im too ugly or i will stammer my words etc,thoughts going thru my mind such as that.

 

 

You think i would be the only one?

 

Its probaly a psychological condition.

I have started seeing a Psychologist and s

theres thousands and the reason we go there to Thailand is because we can walk into any go go bar and it comes to us.

I dont have to go searching for it and getting rejected.

Secondly hundreds of guys have this "psychological" condition.

 

Even i have this hesitation in having a boy sit next to me in a go go bar.

Sorry we are not all over confident and high self esteem as you.

If i had that i wouldnt be going to Thailand.

[Guest hans030]

Very good that you are so honest and you did take the step to go to Thailand, because everything is much easier there, although you are also there the same person. All of us need sometime to be loved by someone else............

[Gaybutton]

Its probaly a psychological condition.

I can agree with that part. If you're telling the truth, then I'm glad you're trying to do something about it. Out of curiosity, how old are you? What have you been doing for sex and boyfriends all this time if you can't handle any rejection or even the thought of it?

 

I don't like getting rejected either. I don't know anyone who enjoys being rejected. But there are so many willing boys here that I don't really care whether I get rejected or not. If one boy rejects me, so what? There are plenty of others who won't.

 

If you go to the right places, a fear of rejection shouldn't even be a factor. The boys will approach you. You can be the one who does the rejecting. If you don't believe me, go to Saranrom Park in Bangkok around 10:00pm some time. It will take about two minutes for you to find out what I mean.

 

I'm not trying to ridicule you, but I do find it very difficult to believe your story. If you're really telling the truth and these posts are not a hoax, then I hope your psychologist can get you past your fears. But for you to say that thousands share the extent of your fear of rejection, even in Thailand, is only an assumption on your part.

 

I'm also not over confident. I am well aware that any time I approach someone new, the possibility of rejection is there. When I do get rejected my ego isn't bruised and, as I said, I know there are plenty more who won't reject me. And I damned sure don't let a fear of rejection stop me from at least trying.

 

"The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."

- Peter O'Toole, 'Lawrence of Arabia'

[Guest xiandarkthorne]

GB, I don't think he's exaggerating when he says that thousands of men share those fears.

 

Haven't you ever noticed those men who go to cruising spots or saunas and then sit down quietly in one corner by themselves waiting breathlessly for either Mr. Right, Mr. Rght Now or Mr. Right Away to come along and sweep them off their feet, and drag them into one of the available rooms where they'll make mad love for hours before swearing eternal love and fidelity - and pledge it with fifty flawless white diamonds set in a solid gold ring (he'll give it to you, of course. It wouldn't be the perfect love if you were the one forking out the cash, would it?)

 

Sorry, I don't mean to be sarcastic but I have seen too many of my friends (straight and gay) lose out on so much in their lives precisely because of such fears.

 

Real life doesn't work that way. If you don't have the guts to get up and chase after what you want - never mind if you're a "Top" or a "Bottom" - you'll be left on the shelf - no matter what kind of excuse you give to yourself or others.

 

It really is as simple as that.

[Guest fountainhall]

I, too, applaud taylorsquare's frankness. I hope through some of our posts we can find some way to help him - and others who might feel similarly inhibited.

 

Although somewhat long in the tooth now and mostly couldn't give the proverbial damn what anyone thinks of what I do or who I am with, I can vividly recall my 20s back in Britain when I had exactly the same fears as taylorsquare has today. Being gay at that time was no easy matter and there was a good deal of fear about - fear of what one's family, friends, work colleagues would say if they discovered one's 'secret'. And for most of us, at least in my circle of friends, it was a secret and we were afraid.

 

Those fears finally started to fade away when I moved to Hong Kong to work, and I have stayed in Asia ever since. Perhaps it was because Hong Kong was 6,000 miles from the people I knew and had grown up with that I felt more secure - even though Hong Kong did have pretty draconian laws on the books which would see several men imprisoned each year for breaking the Victoria-era laws on sodomy. Yet Hong Kong also had a pretty active gay scene just under the surface veneer of society. That all changed in 1990 when the law was abolished. Hong Kong's gay scene is now very active and open. As indeed is Britain's.

 

In those early years in Hong Kong, I visited Bangkok many times and was staggered - and, equally, excited and thrilled - at what was available. The first time I offed a barboy, I was a nervous wreck! But I soon got into the swing of it, and found I adored the freedom that Thailand offered which enabled me to be completely myself.

 

I can only give one piece of advice to taylorsquare. I am sure it will help if you make a few visits to bars etc. with a friend who has less inhibitions than you. Not only will he help you with introductions to boys you might take a fancy to and with the logisitics of getting the boy to where you want to spend time with him, he will also provide moral support. I suppose it's a bit like Alcoholics Anonymous in reverse. But with both, that moral support is essential in helping obtain your objective.

[kokopelli]

Quite frankly, this set of posts, on this thread and the "Walk of Shame" thread, is so ludicrous that I'm half convinced that they're not for real and someone is pulling our legs. That's just my feeling, of course, and I could be wrong, but it is becoming quite difficult to accept the idea that grown men, especially gay men who come to Thailand, are too embarrassed to be seen with a bar boy and/or are so riddled with a lack of self confidence and fear of rejection that they're too awkward to even be able to approach a boy. Maybe it's just me, but I don't buy it.

 

I do not see these posts as unreal. There sure have been much more frivolous posts in the past which were taken seriously by moderator and posters. I have known farang who visited Thailand for the first time and were afraid to enter a go go bar much less off someone. On my first visit I was a little shy to have a boy sit with me and it took a while to off one; and I was very experienced from other bar scenes back home. For me it is a private matter and my mo is to have the boy take a motorbike and meet me at my room rather then walk the "walk of shame" as someone put it. Just a matter of practicality.

[Gaybutton]

Real life doesn't work that way. If you don't have the guts to get up and chase after what you want - never mind if you're a "Top" or a "Bottom" - you'll be left on the shelf - no matter what kind of excuse you give to yourself or others.

 

It really is as simple as that.

 

I agree with that statement

 

I do not see these posts as unreal.

The reason I see it as a possible hoax is because, unless I've misunderstood something, this is not his first trip to Thailand, but what is essentially being said, the way I see it, is what I've already said. He'll spend a lot of money traveling here and then sit by himself because people might stare at him or he might be rejected. If that's what he's going to do, then why come here at all? That makes no sense to me, especially when we've told him repeatedly that these boys want to be approached. Anyone with experience here knows that the chances of being rejected by those boys are practically nil.

 

Maybe his fears are genuine. Maybe it is some sort of phobia because in a city like Pattaya that kind of fear is not exactly what I would call rational.

 

However, I've offered some suggestions for him. He's not going to be rejected if he goes to places where the boys will approach him instead of the other way around. It has been suggested he go to Wat Chai after hours. It has been suggested that he simply hand a boy a piece of paper with his name and telephone number written on it. It has been suggested he take a walk around Saranrom Park. Also in Bangkok he can check in to the Malaysia Hotel. Then, all he has to do is sit outside in the Gazebo or walk through the parking area along the hotel sidewalk and he's guaranteed to be approached. He can try Gay Romeo. Silver Daddies, and other personals sites. On Gay Romeo all he has to do is log on and wait a while. Within minutes boys will start contacting him. He won't have to do a thing except sit there and wait.

 

If he tries some of those kinds of suggestions, the kinds that can't possibly involve rejection, and still has problems, then that's where I start feeling truly sympathetic. But if he comes here and won't even try some of those ideas, I would find it difficult to conjure up much sympathy.

 

Again, I've already stated that I accept the possibility that I'm dead wrong about these posts being a hoax. But if they're not, what purpose is served by coming here and then being afraid to do precisely what you came for?

[kokopelli]

 

 

But if they're not, what purpose is served by coming here and then being afraid to do precisely what you came for?

 

Do agree with you on that point! But also see guys just sitting at bars night after night without ever seeing them in a gogo or with a boy. But maybe that is what they came for? As the saying goes, the heart is a lonely hunter.

[Guest xiandarkthorne]

Do agree with you on that point! But also see guys just sitting at bars night after night without ever seeing them in a gogo or with a boy. But maybe that is what they came for? As the saying goes, the heart is a lonely hunter.

 

No, I don't think that is quite what they came for. I think they came hoping that they would be able to let go of their inhibitions and really live it up in a place where most everybody else they could see had already done that...and then, sadly, they find that they can't let go of anything, least of all themselves and they sit secretly frozen in fear of being recognized, of being talked about, of being "found out" and all the other things they were afraid of back home. It's quite true that you can take someone out of his home city but you can't take that place out of him.

 

So, they sit and sip their drinks and tell themselves things like, "No, that boy's not my type..." or "I would never disgrace myself doing something like that so openly..." and very often even, "Of course I'll do it when I meet the right one."

 

I've got a very inhibited gay friend who lives with a guy he supports financially and sleeps with in the same bed but has never had sex with. He seems to be happy surreptitiously fondling his guy when he's asleep but suggest that he try anything more than that and he'll give you a horrified look and say, "I couldn't do that! He's straight!" Yeah. Right.

[Guest fountainhall]

Quite frankly, this set of posts, on this thread and the "Walk of Shame" thread, is so ludicrous that I'm half convinced that they're not for real and someone is pulling our legs . . . Maybe it's just me, but I don't buy it.

 

Having initially been sympathetic to taylorsquare's 'problems', I have gone back and read through his posts on this and other threads. I am now belatedly taking GB's view that this is some kind of hoax.

 

On 4 December, taylorsquare states in the Walk of Shame thread - which he started - that he was in Jimmy James bar on at least two occasions in 2004 and 2009. He also knew – or was known to – the mamasan at the old CITYBOYS bar. He certainly must have been in that bar on several occasions for the mamasan to be convinced he killed her cat! So he's no novice.

 

In a second post on 4 Dec, he makes the comment –

 

Thats why i dont like staying in guesthouses where you see them peering at you and the boy as you walk thru the coffee shop area

 

- the implication here being that either he has stayed at guesthouses and does not like the ”peering” experience, or he takes boys elsewhere to avoid it.

 

In this thread, which he again started, he states –

 

On my last visit to Pattaya and over the years I have had motorbike taxi drivers,karaoke waiters and navy guys

 

So, not only is he a regular vistor to our shores, he is far from the shrinking violet in need of psychiatric counseling he would have us believe. All of which makes his comment –

 

Sorry i cant help not approaching people for fear of rejection,maybe im too ugly or i will stammer my words etc,thoughts going thru my mind such as that.

 

– sound more than somewhat hollow Come off it, taylorsquare! You've had your fun. Time now to back off is my view! And apologies to GB for doubting your initial reactions.

[Gaybutton]

apologies to GB for doubting your initial reactions.

No apology necessary at all. Believe me, if you had spent all the years I've spent on the moderator side of message boards, you would be able to smell these kinds of trolls a mile away too.

[Guest taylorsquare]

Actually i apologise for starting posts,i havent been feeling well in the last few days,but have gone back to the gym after a break i didnt want of 12 days.

Going to the gym and which i read xians blog sometimes keeps my depression away.

 

You query my confidence in pattaya,the answer is i get drunk before doing/saying anything.

I need it to be normal there.

Without the alcohol i am cannot approach people socially.

I dont want it but i need it to make me confident and sociable and then im ok.

I have had this "depression" for around 12 months,i cant seem to shake it,i dont know why i have it.

my life seems to be ok,i was a workahlic before this,now i cut my hours down.

The DR says the depression will last maybe 3 years,maybe 1 year,he doesnt know.

I have been getting some assistance from the black dog institute,a depression education group.

My brother is ,telling me to "snap out of it"/get over it".its not that easy .

This week i have new students renting my rooms,a thai guy,so i will be kept busy.

 

Same with valium/antenex sometimes to get me thru to be confident,sometimes.

I take 20mg of cipramil daily but going to the gym seems to help me,something i started after reading a blog .

,and i really apologise to you if i have been a nuisance,this was not my intention,regardlessthis board should not be used by me to do this and im sorry.

I promise i not start anymore posts,i am trying to do other things before my trip next year to Thailand to keep my life busy.

Thankyou for being frank and open to me,sometimes i think it helps.

[Guest xiandarkthorne]

Thanks for the plug for my blog.

 

I shouldn't worry too much about any kind of negative reaction if I were you. This is a discussion board after all. People are entitled to their opinions but it shouldn't affect how you feel about yourself. That's the kind of attitude you've got to take or you'll never have all the fun you should be getting in Thailand.

 

And before I get any snide comments about my own thin skin, let me say that the reason why I left certain other boards had nothing to do with my feelings being hurt. I left for what I felt were ethical reasons.

 

Xian

 

PS

I just sent you a PM, Taylor.

[Guest fountainhall]

Actually i apologise for starting posts,i havent been feeling well in the last few days,but have gone back to the gym after a break i didnt want of 12 days.

Going to the gym and which i read xians blog sometimes keeps my depression away.

 

You query my confidence in pattaya,the answer is i get drunk before doing/saying anything.

I need it to be normal there.

Without the alcohol i am cannot approach people socially . . .

 

This week i have new students renting my rooms,a thai guy,so i will be kept busy.

 

This gets more and more curious - at least for me! I am no student of the English language, but the above post (which I admit I have shortened) is written in a pretty tortuous way. Apart from the obvious punctuation errors, which many of us are prone to from time to time, grammatically and logically this is the sort of English a Thai might use. And it does not 'square' (pun intended ) with the earlier posts by taylorsquare. For example, in the first post in the Walk Of Shame thread, both grammar and logic are pretty clear -

 

Anyway he eventually approached me with caution and started trying to get me to off a boy. He remembered me by looking at me continually then spoke about his cat which i ignored. He then told me that he would arrange a boy to come to my place where i was staying as many farang do not like walking thru the streets with their off boy

 

Then again, perhaps he was not completely sober when he wrote it