Thai-boys and Email

[ChristianPFC]

I went to Bkk for holiday in August and made some friends there. I got all their names (Romanized and in Thai), their phone-numbers and their emails. To stay in contact until I will be back in January, I stay in loose contact via MSN, gayromeo, and email. Unfortunately, some of them don't answer my emails. So I have to rely on them having the same number and remembering me when I'm back. Do other members have experience with writing emails with Thais (I know from blogs that reading is not popular with Thais, does this apply to writing as well)? Is there a cultural misunderstanding between having and email and using it for communication (eg if my mother asks me if I have a handkerchief she wants me to use it)? Do Thais keep their mobile numbers for long times (I read that phones are often lost or stolen)?

[Guest]

The one guy I have sent e-mails to did not reply.

 

To get a different result, guess I would either have to write in Thai or advise him that I'm "arriving tomorrow", in which case the prospect of a payday might just encourage a reply.

[kokopelli]

If they know they can get money from you they keep up with emails. Sometimes after sending an email I also send a text message (very inexpensive) saying "you got mail". It works.

[Gaybutton]

If they know they can get money from you they keep up with emails.

I agree with you. When it comes to getting money out of farang, suddenly they know all about Email. Maybe I've become jaded over the years, but in nearly every case I've heard about, when a boy is sending and responding to Email and is also getting money out of you, rest assured you're not the only farang he's doing the same thing with. I've seen so many farang who come here, meet a boy, have a wonderful time with him, become convinced that the boy is honest, truthful, and loyal to him, start sending money to him, and then sooner or later discovers that he's not exactly his only 'boyfriend.'

 

I know one boy who carries 4 different mobile phones, one for each of his 'farang' boyfriends, none of whom have the slightest idea that he is involved with and gets a lot of money out of the others too. I know another boy who is one of the "farang hunters" at the beach. He's there nearly every day. You know where he lives? In a View Talay condo, paid for by his boyfriend who comes to Thailand two weeks out of the year and is convinced the boy is faithful only to him. Meanwhile that same boy tries hooking up with different farang every day at the beach.

 

If someone wants to send money to these boys, I have no problem about that, but I do have a problem when I see unsuspecting farang being taken advantage of, being lied to, becoming convinced he has found the boy of his dreams and the love of his life, while the reality is he is being conned right from the beginning by a boy who will empty your bank account and break your heart with no remorse whatsoever.

 

Just within the past two weeks a boy tried it with me. His farang boyfriend and I have been friends for years. I happened upon them at the beach. We sat and chatted for a while. Then my farang friend left without taking the boy with him. I wondered about that until only a few minutes later the tears started flowing and the boy told me my farang friend had "finished" him that very day and left him high and dry with no money at all and no way to pay for a room or even have money enough to eat. When I asked him why and what had happened, the boy said he didn't know. He said as far as he knew everything was fine, there were no problems, and this came as a total surprise and shock. That instantly caused my eyebrows to raise. I know my farang friend a whole lot better than that, so I knew immediately that I'm probably hearing a line of bullshit. Only a few days later the "I not have money for room" calls started coming in (along with plenty of others that also started coming in from other boys). When I next saw my farang friend he made it clear that this boy, as cherubic as he looks, is nothing more than a ya ba ridden liar who is a very convincing con artist. I'm not surprised.

 

In my opinion, no matter how enamored one may have become with the boy of his dreams, the boy he met during a two or three week holiday in Thailand, the one who falls into the category of "Not this boy. He's different.", the best thing to do if you are someone who can come to Thailand for only a few weeks or so during the year would be to tell the boy you had a wonderful time with him and you hope you'll see him again when you return. I would give him a decent amount of money right then and there and say the goodbyes without exchanging Email addresses or telephone numbers. When you return, if he's still there, that's wonderful. If he isn't, this sea has plenty of other fish.

 

I know some will disagree with me about this, but based on the number of horror stories I've both heard and seen for myself, that's what I would do. Many of these boys really are honest and sincere, and the tears they shed when you depart are genuine, but since you have no way of knowing for sure, then my free advice would be to err on the safe side rather than risk heartbreak and ending up having to move into the poorhouse. Bear in mind that no matter how moving his sob story may be, he managed to survive until you came along and he will continue to manage to survive after you're gone.

 

I've posted this many times, but I think it's appropriate on this thread to repeat what Richard Burk, owner of the Amor restaurant, told me years ago, and from my own experiences and observations I have come to agree with him: "If you want love in Thailand, rent it."

[kokopelli]

 

I know some will disagree with me about this, but based on the number of horror stories I've both heard and seen for myself, that's what I would do. Many of these boys really are honest and sincere, and the tears they shed when you depart are genuine, but since you have no way of knowing for sure, then my free advice would be to err on the safe side rather than risk heartbreak and ending up having to move into the poorhouse. Bear in mind that no matter how moving his sob story may be, he managed to survive until you came along and he will continue to manage to survive after you're gone.

 

This is the best advice ever. Giving your email address and home phone number, willy-nilly, to Thai boys is a big mistake. The sob stories never end.

[Guest fountainhall]

Unfortunately, some of them don't answer my emails. So I have to rely on them having the same number and remembering me when I'm back.

 

GB is 100% on the button on this one. You have to face facts. They don't answer your mails because they haven't a clue who you are. Three months have passed. How many other guys have they met since then? And as for remembering you when you return, they will have to use all their mental resources to even recall having met you. This must all sound heartless and downright callous. But TIT (this is Thailand)!

[Gaybutton]

They don't answer your mails because they haven't a clue who you are.

I'm not so sure you're correct about that. When it comes to money, they have the greatest memories I've ever seen. I've seen and experienced many times when either I or a friend encounters a boy he hasn't seen in years and the boy not only remembers his name, but also remembers everything they did as if the last time they were together was yesterday. For many of these boys, money (and the potential thereof) is an excellent memory enhancer.

[Guest fountainhall]

I'm not so sure you're correct about that. When it comes to money, they have the greatest memories I've ever seen.

 

Yes, I agree, but Christian PFC did not say where he met them and we are only assuming this was in a bar. He also does not say he is sending money. Reading between the lines, I expect he is not. If they were merely casual friendships or the result of a couple of offs, I've come across many guys who say they really want to keep in touch but have completely forgotten who I am within a few months. On the other hand, if cash is involved then you are correct. A regular flow of money certainly keeps the memory wheels lubricated

[Guest GaySacGuy]

If you really want to stay in contact, use the phone. You can get phone cards off the internet where you dial a local number in the US, put in a pin, and call Thailand for something like four cents a minute...so for a couple of bucks you can have half an hour on the phone, and get a better idea of how things really are on the Thailand end of the call.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

Or send an e mail soon after you arrive home with your pic included.

[Guest gay_grampa]

Forget the phone calls and the emails.

Get the boy to set up a profile on Gay Romeo and keep in touch that way. You can also see the last time he was online and how many other people have been viewing his profile (this will give you a very rough idea how many other guys he might be seeing).

[Guest fountainhall]

Get the boy to set up a profile on Gay Romeo and keep in touch that way. You can also see the last time he was online and how many other people have been viewing his profile (this will give you a very rough idea how many other guys he might be seeing).

 

ChristianPFC mentioned in his post that he keeps in touch with some on gayromeo. But I doubt you can really attach much importance to the information gayromeo throws up. Like many people (I think), I check a lot of profiles and chat with quite a lot of guys, but have ended up meeting just a handful - my choice and not because I am constantly rebuffed, I hasten to add

 

Gayromeo and all other communication sources work fine if both parties want it to work. ChristianPFC's concern here is that communication has broken down. If that's a boy's decision, nothing will fix it - unless . . . . Oh, that lure of cold hard cash again!

[Guest lvdkeyes]

I seem to be getting a lot of messages from Ghana on GayRomeo. Does anyone else here get them?

[Guest]

If your new best friend is doing sex with Farang merely as a source of income, there's no reason for him to call you after you have returned home. He will be going after other clients & it's perfectly reasonable & professional for him to do that.

 

You wouldn't hire a solicitor or a builder for a job, then expect to have a weekly chat with them for a couple of years afterwards.

 

However, do be grateful for the fact that most Thai moneyboys you meet are likely to be friendly, sexy & good at their chosen career for the time you are in their company.

Never mind that their affection is often driven by money, but be thankful that they are (mostly) affectionate.

[Gaybutton]

I seem to be getting a lot of messages from Ghana on GayRomeo. Does anyone else here get them?

I get them sometimes too. They're all only a con game, similar to the Dr. Mwenene Bluluku from Nigeria messages you may sometimes get via Email, in which he's going to put 3 million dollars, or something like that, in your bank account in order to get his cash out of the country. There are still people who actually fall for it.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

These are not the typical con messages. They are from guys who seem to be interested for whatever reason. Needless to say, I send the "Thanks, but not thanks" response.

[Guest gay_grampa]

I get a few from Ghana and a lot from the Philippines.

 

Nearly all of them are scams.

[Guest fountainhall]

I send the "Thanks, but not thanks" response.

 

That's the polite way, but I'm always afraid that any communication will lead to further correspondence. I trash them all. I also get a lot of young guys getting in touch from The Philippines. My profile makes it clear I'm only interested in Thais or Chinese. So if someone does not even bother to read my profile, I don't see that I have to reply. Yeah, I know - I'm heartless

[fedssocr]

I seem to remember reading somewhere that Thais have incredible memories for faces. So perhaps it is not just your money that a boy remembers when he sees you again. I suppose if you have a particularly memorable face that could make a difference too.

[Guest xiandarkthorne]

Or maybe you have a particularly memorable wallet? I agree with GB on all points but having said that, I must also be fair and say that NONE of the guys I met from South Thailand via GayRomeo have ever asked me for money. They all have proper jobs of their own, I know from the occasional difficulty we encounter setting up a meeting whenever I can't manage more than a day or two in Hatyai.

 

All the guys who have ever asked me for money were from BKK. Not even the one guy from a Phuket bar with whom I had a relationship of sorts ever asked me for a single cent. All the money I gave him, I gave him without the slightest bit of prompting on his part. I was most happy to give him as much as I could afford as often as I could do it and when he told me that he had to go back and get married (I always knew that was coming, anyway), I cried my eyes out but I was also happy to give him a little parting gift to remember me by.

[ChristianPFC]

Thanks to everyone for their reply. I met most of them in DJ-station (and they were there most days, so I assume they will be there in January) and one in Lumpini-park. Some have no gayromeo-account (at least that's what they told me). There wasn't even a hint of a mentioning of money (I'm 29 years old). They told me they have jobs/university. Next time, maybe I should get a moneyboy to have company during day.

[Guest]

Maybe it's just the language barrier that puts them off writing.

[Gaybutton]

Maybe it's just the language barrier that puts them off writing.

I doubt it. They can always easily find people who can handle English for them if they can't handle it themselves.

[PattayaMale]

"GB is 100% on the button on this one. You have to face facts. They don't answer your mails because they haven't a clue who you are. Three months have passed. How many other guys have they met since then? And as for remembering you when you return, they will have to use all their mental resources to even recall having met you. This must all sound heartless and downright callous. But TIT (this is Thailand)!"......

 

Some of the Thai guys have too good a memory.

 

Several years back my Thai friend and I would go to Cafe Royal to eat maybe once a week. We did not go to any of the bars in the area since it made no sense to me to take my long term Thai friend to watch other Thai's hoping to hook up with a farang.

 

One evening after we ate we did go across the street into Funny Boys. As we were sitting there I noticed that one dancer seemed to keep looking at me with a bit of a grin. I was curious and asked him if he wanted a drink. Bit of a mistake. It happened that about 4 years before this night I had offed this guy when my Thai friend was at his home in Korat. He said that he had been seeing me and my friend go into Cafe Royal alot.

 

I said he must be mistaken because I didn't remember him. He said he was sure and started to describe where I lived, what the condo looked like and describe a few pictures I had inside. He even remembered what city I was from!

 

This guy's memory was way too good!!!

[Guest lvdkeyes]

OOPS!!!! How did your long time Thai friend react?